"How many times in the past year have you had X or more drinks in a day?"

I'd have to agree. That is succinct.

the calendar year, or the fiscal year?

*hic!*

SO WHAT'S THE MAGICAL "I'm a drunk" FARKING ANSWER??? Retarded author doesn't seem to think we're good enough to hear "how many times per year" equals "alcoholic".

Jerk. I'm gonna sue him. And for submitting this incomplete article, cruelmitter, Ima sue you, too.

Five drinks... in a day... hmm...

I know they're looking for people who have big, memorable blowouts as well as those who drink that much so regularly that they can't give a number, but the question suggests you can't have five beers across an entire afternoon of, say, fishing, grilling or outdoor chores without it being a flag for a potential problem - because there's no way you'd know a specific number of days unless you almost never went fishing or did outdoor chores.

In fact, the only "safe" answer appears to be "zero - I never drink more than five beers in a day." Answer anything else, and you've got a "problem" Joe Sixpack.

We live in a sad, sad society.

This question fails to take in to account your situation:

In college, my answer would have been 3-5. A week.

Now, though, I'd have a hard time coming up with more than three a year.

So, was I a screaming alchoholic in college? If so, I got better pretty much painlessly.

KIA: In fact, the only "safe" answer appears to be "zero - I never drink more than five beers in a day." Answer anything else, and you've got a "problem" Joe Sixpack.

yep, because then they will type it into their little machine, and you will be identified for remedial treatment.

The question should be "How many stories do you tell that begin with 'I was soooo wasted that I...'".

xlbrooklyn: SO WHAT'S THE MAGICAL "I'm a drunk" FARKING ANSWER??? Retarded author doesn't seem to think we're good enough to hear "how many times per year" equals "alcoholic".
Jerk. I'm gonna sue him. And for submitting this incomplete article, cruelmitter, Ima sue you, too.

If you weren't so drunk, you'd know the answer. But problem drinkers don't even know how to answer this question. AND you seem to have a guilty conscience about your drinking. I have to conclude that you're an alcoholic.

/Don't fight it, it's science.

A fifth is 15 drinks. My wife and I kill about 200 of those a year.

xlbrooklyn: SO WHAT'S THE MAGICAL "I'm a drunk" FARKING ANSWER???

Five for men, four for women.

"How many times" means to me that the answer has to be greater than one.

But like previously mentioned the author omits that number.


If you ever wonder if you have a problem, you have a problem.

cryinoutloud: xlbrooklyn: SO WHAT'S THE MAGICAL "I'm a drunk" FARKING ANSWER??? Retarded author doesn't seem to think we're good enough to hear "how many times per year" equals "alcoholic".
Jerk. I'm gonna sue him. And for submitting this incomplete article, cruelmitter, Ima sue you, too.

If you weren't so drunk, you'd know the answer. But problem drinkers don't even know how to answer this question. AND you seem to have a guilty conscience about your drinking. I have to conclude that you're an alcoholic.

/Don't fight it, it's science.

I lorfed. +1

boobsrgood: Five for men, four for women.

No, No, NO! the question is, HOW MANY TIMES PER YEAR have you had 5 or more drinks in one day? Then the interviewer compares the answer to some mystical magical number and plops you into one of two neat and certainly non-overlapping categories: well-adjusted citizen, or raging dangerous alcoholic. WHAT'S THE MAGICAL NUMBER? Once a year? five times a year? 18 times a year? every weekend?

There are times when I'll have more than 5 alcoholic drinks in an evening. There are also stretches of sometimes 2 weeks where I won't have any. And either way I'm fine. I'll drink if I'm out or with friends, but I don't miss alcohol when I'm not having it.

Once a year? five times a year? 18 times a year? every weekend?


Why do you care? Here is a pretty picture to distract you.



Makes you think, huh? Wait, what?

"How many times in the past year have you had 5 or more drinks in a day?"



Only once or twice.

I think my legit and true answer is about 285. But what about the other 25-30 or so days when I gotta slam some vodka in the morning to kill the hangover? I doubt it takes 5 shots, but I usually gotta work at least 3 through the system to make the skin-bugs go away.

High-functioning alcoholic for the win!

This is my magical single question: Do you drink to feel 'normal?' If you know exactly what I mean by that question--yeah, you probably do.

/Took me a few years sober before I felt 'normal' with it.

cryinoutloud: Do you drink to feel 'normal?' If you know exactly what I mean by that question--yeah, you probably do.

If by "normal" you mean requiring booze to eliminate both a)the skin-bugs and b)be able to eat, then yes I know exactly what that's like.

Only gets that bad maybe 30-40 days a year though.

Thsa4ticle is a bunck of crap itss not very acurate

I will fight ;yuouman

ambassador_ahab: If by "normal" you mean requiring booze to eliminate both a)the skin-bugs and b)be able to eat, then yes I know exactly what that's like.

What the hell is a skin-bug?

cryinoutloud: This is my magical single question: Do you drink to feel 'normal?' If you know exactly what I mean by that question--yeah, you probably do.

/Took me a few years sober before I felt 'normal' with it.

If, by "normal" you mean "dumb down enough to deal with the general populace on their level", then yeah. I know.

cameroncrazy1984: What the hell is a skin-bug?

When I drink too much for too long and then sober up, there's this really creepy and disturbing feeling of bugs crawling all over my skin. Only booze makes it go away.

cameroncrazy1984: What the hell is a skin-bug?

I've heard crack-heads get it too, but I've never gotten this sensation from smoking crack rocks or snorting coke. Only booze.

Let me rephrase: Normal = You feel like anything you have to deal with in any day would be better if you just had at least a couple of drinks first. Normal boring stuff, exciting stuff--all would be better with a buzz.

Ok, is that better?

xlbrooklyn: SO WHAT'S THE MAGICAL "I'm a drunk" FARKING ANSWER??? Retarded author doesn't seem to think we're good enough to hear "how many times per year" equals "alcoholic".

Jerk. I'm gonna sue him. And for submitting this incomplete article, cruelmitter, Ima sue you, too.

DUH. It's 42.

"Do you carry a hip flask" would do it as well.

/yes.

I'd like to say plenty of days but the fascists are using the highly unreliable (and generally assumed to be illegal) eTg test to ensure that I'm not enjoying myself.

oh please 93% of the world would be alcoholic

Six percent consumed risky amounts but did not have alcohol-related problems or a disorder

There goes Fark wrecking the curve.

They've been using this "If you have 4+ drinks in a given night you're a BINGE DRINKER OMG!!1!" shiat since I was a freshman in college.

Sure, 4 drinks is a lot... in 30 minutes or if you're 12.

It's a screening question.

It's meant as a simple tool for practitioners to use to pick-up all alcoholics (high sensitivity) in a population.

At the same time, it's going to pick up those who are NOT alcoholics as well (low specificity)

The point is that, once someone is found to be "positive" on the screening test, the practitioner investigates further to figure out whether it is a true positive or a false positive.

KIA: Five drinks... in a day... hmm...

I know they're looking for people who have big, memorable blowouts as well as those who drink that much so regularly that they can't give a number, but the question suggests you can't have five beers across an entire afternoon of, say, fishing, grilling or outdoor chores without it being a flag for a potential problem - because there's no way you'd know a specific number of days unless you almost never went fishing or did outdoor chores.

In fact, the only "safe" answer appears to be "zero - I never drink more than five beers in a day." Answer anything else, and you've got a "problem" Joe Sixpack.

We live in a sad, sad society.

Of course 5 drinks a day is a problem!! I never drink five whole drinks!! I tried that once and only got through the first three 1 liter bottles of rum.

bighasbeen: They've been using this "If you have 4+ drinks in a given night you're a BINGE DRINKER OMG!!1!" shiat since I was a freshman in college.

Sure, 4 drinks is a lot... in 30 minutes or if you're 12.

It's a screening tool, not a diagnostic tool.

365

When I drink too much for too long and then sober up, there's this really creepy and disturbing feeling of bugs crawling all over my skin. Only booze makes it go away.

That is called DT's. So, yeah, that is a problem.

/drunk typing
//more than once on last year for the 4 drinks a day.
///way more than once
////way more than once for slashies also

I think asking "have you ever mistaken the washing machine for the toilet?" would work just as well.

This thread is making me thirsty.

Another striking characteristic of problem drinkers is that they lie about how much they drink. Or if they don't lie, then they already know they have a problem.

FTA: This study was funded by the National Institute of Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism.

Nope, no vested interest there.

cryinoutloud: This is my magical single question: Do you drink to feel 'normal?' If you know exactly what I mean by that question--yeah, you probably do.

/Took me a few years sober before I felt 'normal' with it.

No, I drink to feel abnormal, because normal is so soul-suckingly bleak that I'd rather avoid it altogether. Now that thing's a pipe, not a microphone. Puff puff pass.

Does he hold up a picture of a fat chick and ask "Would you hit it?"

5 drinks...Hmm...

Hit the lake at dawn, have a burger and a beer for lunch (1).
Clean the fish, get home abt three, have a beer while I mow the lawn (2). Fire up the grill at five, have a beer (3). Another beer with dinner at seven, and one while throwing darts at nine.

Holy hell, I'm an alky and I never even caught a buzz!

I said 364, liquor store is closed on Christmas

Oh god I need a drink

I'm female, 30, always drank more than I should but never considered myself to have a problem. I've probably had 4 or more drinks in a day around 125 times in the past year. (2-3x a week on average) That's the lion's share of a bottle of wine or 3 beers at dinner and a glass of wine when I get home... both reasonable ways to spend an evening as far as I'm concerned.

Here's an even simpler screening tool: when you have your physical and your blood work comes back, if your AST/ALT levels come back outside the normal range even though you don't have Hep, congratulations, you have a serious drinking problem.

Yes, I realize that your liver can be doing just fine thank you very much while your heart is getting ready to quit, but that's a pretty big give away too.

I can't remember the last time I had more than a six pack, but the idea that I need further screening because I had a few beers watching the football game then came home and had a few glasses of wine at dinner is asinine.

drinks or bottles?

me confused.


belch.



http://myspace.com/daveyunderground

I just broke up with my gf a week ago and have been drunk ever since. Am I an alchy? Probably not, it just makes the pain go away. Feck off Doc, all you don't know shiat about emotional pain, even psych docs.

/of course I'm drunk right now
//5 30 packs in a week
///i'm cheap too

cryinoutloud: Another striking characteristic of problem drinkers is that they lie about how much they drink.

That, drinking to feel "normal" (as you said), and drinking in the morning. But you're talking about people with established problems at that point, and I think these guys are trying to catch people before they reach that point. I'm guessing that you know that the path to alcoholism is more like a steep slide than jumping off a cliff.

doglover: KIA: Five drinks... in a day... hmm...

I know they're looking for people who have big, memorable blowouts as well as those who drink that much so regularly that they can't give a number, but the question suggests you can't have five beers across an entire afternoon of, say, fishing, grilling or outdoor chores without it being a flag for a potential problem - because there's no way you'd know a specific number of days unless you almost never went fishing or did outdoor chores.

In fact, the only "safe" answer appears to be "zero - I never drink more than five beers in a day." Answer anything else, and you've got a "problem" Joe Sixpack.

We live in a sad, sad society.

Of course 5 drinks a day is a problem!! I never drink five whole drinks!! I tried that once and only got through the first three 1 liter bottles of rum.

Good Answer.

366

Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: I said 364, liquor store is closed on Christmas

Chinese restaurants arent