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(ABC News) Obvious In an attempt to stay relevant, Bin Laden releases new tape, breaks up with Jennifer Aniston   (abcnews.go.com) divider line 238
More: Obvious  
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11112 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Mar 2009 at 7:55 AM   |  Make this a Fark FavoriteFavorite    |   share: Share on OMGTWITTER WEB2.0share on StumbleUponshare on Facebook  more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!

238 Comments   (+0 »)


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Mentat [TotalFark] 2009-03-15 01:20:42 AM  
img339.imageshack.us

 
BigSnatch [TotalFark] 2009-03-15 02:00:29 AM  
Awesome headline

 
MacEnvy [TotalFark] 2009-03-15 02:12:58 AM  
PoopStain: Who farking cares about this guy anymore? More muslims are going to die because of the economy than will die at the hands of infidels the next few years.

I think this is an interesting, and probably absolutely true, point.

 
TheBitterest [TotalFark] 2009-03-15 02:20:47 AM  
PoopStain: Who farking cares about this guy anymore? More muslims are going to die because of the economy than will die at the hands of infidels the next few years.

It's only the most radical of muslims caring about this guy anymore. He is NOT relevant. Only a few on this side of the pond pay attention. It's not even in the first Newsblock anymore.

 
cranberryzero [TotalFark] 2009-03-15 03:10:21 AM  
oh great... does this mean i'll have to look at "DOES OSAMA STILL HAVE FEELINGS FOR JENNIFER" headlines on the covers of the gossip rags at the grocery store for the next 5 years?

 
mr_a [TotalFark] 2009-03-15 03:25:04 AM  
Whether he is relevant or not, I still wish him a nasty, violent and very public death.

 
bulldg4life [TotalFark] 2009-03-15 03:30:45 AM  
mr_a: Whether he is relevant or not, I still wish him a nasty, violent and very public death.

Why would you want him to be a martyr?

Put him in a concrete room for the rest of his natural born life, 23 hours per day, with no contact with the outside world.

Deprive him of the audience and control and message which he has looked for his entire life.

 
StinkyPinky 2009-03-15 03:56:06 AM  
And so I get the best political insight from a guy named
"Poop Stain"

Oh wait...

~ Pinky ~

 
Sgygus [TotalFark] 2009-03-15 04:08:40 AM  
TheBitterest: He is NOT relevant. Only a few on this side of the pond pay attention.

And you know this ... how?

 
log_jammin [TotalFark] 2009-03-15 07:51:40 AM  
bulldg4life: mr_a: Whether he is relevant or not, I still wish him a nasty, violent and very public death.

Why would you want him to be a martyr?


Tripping on a banana peel, while scratching his flesh eating virus, causing him to hit his head on the corner of an anvil during a Geraldo exclusive should cover his wishes without a martyrdom.

 
lajimi [TotalFark] 2009-03-15 07:57:28 AM  

 
Swampthing in Korea 2009-03-15 08:00:56 AM  
bulldg4life: mr_a: Whether he is relevant or not, I still wish him a nasty, violent and very public death.

Why would you want him to be a martyr?

Put him in a concrete room for the rest of his natural born life, 23 hours per day, with no contact with the outside world.

Deprive him of the audience and control and message which he has looked for his entire life.


You assume he is still alive?

Guy's been a smorgasborg for Afghani worms for several years now.

 
get_to_the_chopper 2009-03-15 08:03:47 AM  
Please tell me why it is all audio now? Used to be video and now it's audio only.... Methinks of someone named Rich Little and how well he used to emulate certain figures in powerful positions to the point where he got in trouble.

I don't think he's even alive or at the least, able to coherently speak.

/Osama bin deadin the ground

 
liverleef 2009-03-15 08:08:33 AM  
I'm getting the popcorn just in case this turns into a 911 conspiracy thread.

 
Dwedit 2009-03-15 08:12:27 AM  
Anything ironic about having those holocaust deniers using the word "holocaust" themselves?

 
altinos 2009-03-15 08:13:54 AM  
Pretty good for a dead guy.

 
Scarrio 2009-03-15 08:14:13 AM  
When I hear stuff like this, I think of Father Jack from Father Ted, except instead of "Arse!" and "Drink!" he screams "Jihad! Jihad!".

 
teh great bozack 2009-03-15 08:14:20 AM  
In an attempt to stay relevant, Bin Laden releases new tape, learns to do the "Running Man" dance move, appoints first African American as Chairman of Al Queda National Committee

 
beoswulf 2009-03-15 08:16:08 AM  
bulldg4life: mr_a: Whether he is relevant or not, I still wish him a nasty, violent and very public death.

Why would you want him to be a martyr?

Put him in a concrete room for the rest of his natural born life, 23 hours per day, with no contact with the outside world.

Deprive him of the audience and control and message which he has looked for his entire life.


Assuming he's still alive the UN and EU will strive to ensure he remains comfortable and relevant.

He'd still be able to get statements out through his lawyers and visitors; every muslim on a jihad will want to be the one that gets upstages the previous attempt to free him in exchange for hostages.

Killing him might make him a martyr to some, but a fast-tracked execution will get the message out to even more Muslims considering jihad in the only language they understand.

 
lajimi [TotalFark] 2009-03-15 08:21:34 AM  
beoswulf: Killing him might make him a martyr to some, but a fast-tracked execution will get the message out to even more Muslims considering jihad in the only language they understand.

Beheading (public) with a butter knife comes to mind.

 
Nem Wan 2009-03-15 08:26:37 AM  
I can never find bin Laden on iTunes. Does he not want his releases on iTunes because of the DRM or because of the lack of variable pricing? They're fixing both those things so he better have some other excuse, or his fans will hunt him down.

 
Death to America 2009-03-15 08:30:16 AM  
Here is a translated Transcript for anybody who wants to read it.

http://www.nefafoundation.org/miscellaneous/FeaturedDocs/nefabinladen0109.pdf

Not really targeted for American audiences though.

img515.imageshack.us

img515.imageshack.us

Come on Al-Sahab! Real media? Nobody uses real media player!

 
catdriver [TotalFark] 2009-03-15 08:32:04 AM  
Nem Wan is my new hero.

 
NakedApe 2009-03-15 08:33:41 AM  
Osama is now a panhandler in San Francisco.

 
Befuddled 2009-03-15 08:33:47 AM  
Bin Laden is dead. You never see Bin Laden, only a voice claiming to be Bin Laden. He probably died from the wounds he received when we bombed Tora Bora (his wounds probably got infected and that killed him).

 
freetomato [TotalFark] 2009-03-15 08:35:01 AM  
Bin Laden is the Dread Pirate Roberts.

 
Smiths 2009-03-15 08:37:56 AM  
he's dead.

the voice on the tape is Frank Welker.

 
Swampthing in Korea 2009-03-15 08:41:22 AM  
beoswulf

The UN will grant him Observer status, and allow him to address the assembly.

 
Death to America 2009-03-15 08:45:21 AM  
"Every time he does go with a tape he sticks a finger in our collective eye and our national conscious," former FBI counterterrorism agent Jack Cloonan said.

That is not the real Usama on the tape, surely this job security expert knows this? The government pays these people?

 
ko_kyi 2009-03-15 08:46:57 AM  
Good to see the new president embracing yet another Bush policy by releasing a fake Bin Laden tape.

 
Random Reality Check 2009-03-15 08:47:28 AM  
Look at the choices we have here today!

He's dead, Jim - er, apparently not.
He's the head of Al Qaeda - Ah, no.
We should brutally kill him - really?

This guy had nothing to do with 911, or at the most, a very small part in the disaster - and you let the Bush Administration build him up to near god status, which many of you actually still believe.

So all of you well educated Bin Laden hunters...
Whatever happened to Tora Bora?
You know, this one?
www.edwardjayepstein.com

You remember Donald Rumsfeld describing it on TV and saying that is was one of many that Al Qaeda had, right?

So, a facility this big and we can't find it?

How many lies do you need to be fed before you get a clue?

And no, I'm not some 911 troofer - I know the 19 guys that died in that attack were the ones that launched it - but I also know that the crap you believe is about as true as the troofers.

Get
(new window)
an (new window)
education (new window).

Go ahead, invest three hours in learning something useful.
Or go watch another sitcom - the choice is all yours.

 
johnnyrocket 2009-03-15 08:50:07 AM  
Now that Osama's back in the news, I'm waiting for the first news anchor to do the whole Obama/Osama slip up.

 
0Icky0 2009-03-15 08:50:24 AM  
PoopStain: Who farking cares about this guy anymore?

The families of the people he killed?

Not that he can do it again, but so what? It's about paybacks for what he did do.

 
lajimi [TotalFark] 2009-03-15 08:50:41 AM  
Death to America: "Every time he does go with a tape he sticks a finger in our collective eye and our national conscious," former FBI counterterrorism agent Jack Cloonan said.

That is not the real Usama on the tape, surely this job security expert knows this? The government pays these people?


No, we do.

 
Acid_Casualty 2009-03-15 08:50:48 AM  
My money is on his being dead for years. And I question the validity of his last video in '04 and think he's been dead longer than that. Although that probably puts me in truther territory.

 
Random Reality Check 2009-03-15 08:52:09 AM  
And then we have these two...

Death to America: "Every time he does go with a tape he sticks a finger in our collective eye and our national conscious," former FBI counterterrorism agent Jack Cloonan said.

That is not the real Usama on the tape, surely this job security expert knows this? The government pays these people?


ko_kyi: Good to see the new president embracing yet another Bush policy by releasing a fake Bin Laden tape.

Without doubt, these two are more knowledgeable that all the FBI and other government experts.
It must be, the government must be lying to us - because the government told them that Bin Laden is dead.
How the hell do people like this make it through the day without swallowing their own tongues?

 
More_Like_A_Stain 2009-03-15 08:54:25 AM  
lajimi: beoswulf: Killing him might make him a martyr to some, but a fast-tracked execution will get the message out to even more Muslims considering jihad in the only language they understand.

Beheading (public) with a butter knife hammer comes to mind.


FTFY

 
ko_kyi 2009-03-15 09:02:21 AM  
Random Reality Check: How the hell do people like this make it through the day without swallowing their own tongues?

By being bored on a Sunday morning, and wishing to poke a little fun at the "Bin Laden is dead, Karl Rove puts out the tapes for political purposes" crowd that was all over the place a year or two ago.

 
DirkValentine 2009-03-15 09:10:59 AM  
i wonder if they just stopped releasing these stupid farking tapes to the public and pretended they didn't exist if he would disappear.

poopy.

 
pnjunction [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-03-15 09:13:17 AM  
Random Reality Check: www.edwardjayepstein.com

That thing has always cracked me the fark up.

I haven't read too much on the subject, but I think it was a BBC documentary that I watched a while ago that made quite a bit of sense. Basically, Bin Laden and al-Qaeda in general are just the face given to a MUCH more nebulous enemy: random people that are pissed off around the world.

Putting a face and a label on them makes the politics of the situation so much easier: "We will hunt down and defeat al'Qaeda!" vs "We will hunt down and defeat all of the pissed of people!" The ridiculousness of that would be just slightly too apparent.

Sure there groups that self-identify as being part of al-Qaeda, such as in Iraq, and they can be fought and defeated (or bribed), but to think that the whole 'organization' could somehow be brought down is laughable. The phrase 'War on Terrorism' pretty much sums it up. Just like the 'War on Drugs', it is unwinnable. There is no loss or defeat, only a varying state of equilibrium.

 
DontBeStupid 2009-03-15 09:13:55 AM  
Random Reality Check

Reality? Sounds like more of the same to me. Ironic complaining about control through fear by using control through fear.

 
Thats Hedley 2009-03-15 09:14:54 AM  
He's alive! He is operating as Yellowbeard off the coast of Somalia, stockpiling money from hostages for the day he attacks France. Thats why he only provides audio.

 
Caesar1313 2009-03-15 09:16:23 AM  
I liked his old stuff better.

 
justinsmith354 2009-03-15 09:20:26 AM  
freetomato: Bin Laden is the Dread Pirate Roberts.

I LOL'd

 
Marla Singer's Laundry [TotalFark] 2009-03-15 09:21:14 AM  
In an attempt to stay relevant, Bin Laden releases new tape

Pink Floyd is lost without him.

And his solo stuff isn't nearly as good as Dark Side.

 
deadstare 2009-03-15 09:23:39 AM  
9/11 was an inside job.

/I know what you're thinking
//fark you too

 
Death to America 2009-03-15 09:23:46 AM  
img214.imageshack.us

 
allthebetter 2009-03-15 09:24:17 AM  
liverleef: I'm getting the popcorn just in case this turns into a 911 conspiracy thread.

OMG, did you not see the videos? How can you say that it wasn't a conspiracy?

jeebus...

 
Marla Singer's Laundry [TotalFark] 2009-03-15 09:25:43 AM  
Death to America

Islamist troll is overcompensating

 
Day_Old_Dutchie 2009-03-15 09:26:12 AM  
bulldg4life: mr_a: Whether he is relevant or not, I still wish him a nasty, violent and very public death.

Why would you want him to be a martyr?

Put him in a concrete room for the rest of his natural born life, 23 hours per day, with no contact with the outside world.

Deprive him of the audience and control and message which he has looked for his entire life.


It's got Paul Anka's Guarantee!
(Offer void in Tennessee)
img58.imageshack.us
Just don't look!
Just don't look!

 
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