Dammit, we have to give this jackass a trial, pay for his room and board for 3 weeks then watch him go free.

Easier to obtain gun permits would mean the old guy would have been out 89¢ for a bullet and we'd be a healthier species....

Protip: Never attack a Midwesterner with over 70 years of ice scraper experience

Thank you. I have been trying to figure out how best to mount my attack on the next Midwesterner. They're tough farkers.

I think the writer had been waiting for some time to use the word the word Septuagenarian .

Only slightly less well-known is never to start a land war in Asia.

FTFA: Ignoring LaClaire's very, large "Rambo-style" knife and a small paring knife...

Umm, WTF

I'm pretty sure you have to be desperate or batshiat insane to attack a rural Midwesterner with anything smaller than a handgun.

Zeiss_Ikon: Dammit, we have to give this jackass a trial, pay for his room and board for 3 weeks then watch him go free.

Easier to obtain gun permits would mean the old guy would have been out 89¢ for a bullet and we'd be a healthier species....



How dare we give a suspected criminal due process? Vigilante law is the only true justice!

/only responding because you sound like my loony First Amendment absolutist coworker
//we live under the rule of law for a reason; you don't like it, I hear there's openings in Zimbabwe

Protip: Kill yourself.

Nothing wrong with gettin beat up by an old man. Ask Cohen.

Go Septuagenarian!!!

Do we have a group of Hero Police a la the Irony Police? If so, I want to join.

Well clearly you don't attack someone scraping their windows at 6 A.M. That's just madness. Then not only tired and crabby you are also pissed about having to scrape your windows. If anyone even so much as talked to me in that situation I would probably attack too.

Easier to obtain gun permits would mean the old guy would have been out 89¢ for a bullet and we'd be a healthier species....

Why in the world would an old guy be using a gun to scrape his windshield?

/he could already be a gun owner - but he had the ice scraper to hand.

The Dreaded Rear Admiral: /only responding because you sound like my loony First Amendment absolutist coworker
//we live under the rule of law for a reason; you don't like it, I hear there's openings in Zimbabwe


Are you saying that this "first amendment absolutist" friend values the Constitution, yet also wants anarchy? That seems like a contradiction somehow...

The Dreaded Rear Admiral: How dare we give a suspected criminal due process? Vigilante law is the only true justice!

By strict definition, the guy with the knives in the process of committing the crime is not "a suspect." He is "the criminal."

SirJack: Well clearly you don't attack someone scraping their windows at 6 A.M. That's just madness.

Madness? This is Rapid City, South Dakota!

420666: Protip: Kill yourself.

Are you from 4chan?

The Dreaded Rear Admiral How dare we give a suspected criminal due process? Vigilante law is the only true justice!

Self defense is not vigilantism and a permit to carry keeps it within the rule of law.

Wrily: The Dreaded Rear Admiral How dare we give a suspected criminal due process? Vigilante law is the only true justice!

Self defense is not vigilantism and a permit to carry keeps it within the rule of law.

I, for one, am glad to live in a country where I don't have to be so terrified of my fellow man that I carry my gun with me when I go to scrape the ice off my car in the morning.

"Ice Scraper Experience"... sounds like a good band name.

starsrift: Wrily: The Dreaded Rear Admiral How dare we give a suspected criminal due process? Vigilante law is the only true justice!

Self defense is not vigilantism and a permit to carry keeps it within the rule of law.

I, for one, am glad to live in a country where I don't have to be so terrified of my fellow man that I carry my gun with me when I go to scrape the ice off my car in the morning.

Damn right! Because if Michael Moore taught us anything it's that there is no crime in Canada.

MoeSzyslak: Damn right! Because if Michael Moore taught us anything it's that there is no crime in Canada.

Are you stupid or simply fond of sweeping hyperbole?

starsrift: MoeSzyslak: Damn right! Because if Michael Moore taught us anything it's that there is no crime in Canada.

Are you stupid or simply fond of sweeping hyperbole?

Sweeping hyperbole? That's rich coming from a guy who said

"I, for one, am glad to live in a country where I don't have to be so terrified of my fellow man that I carry my gun with me when I go to scrape the ice off my car in the morning."

Do they really make infants scrap ice in the Midwest? Sounds rough.

MoeSzyslak: You're right, I'm sorry.
I should've waited until a farker from every state had clocked in to advocate firearms and vigilante justice.

/ Timing is everything

why are there never amateur tips? pros started somewhere.

Sounds like a typical libtard.

Ahhh_Ennui: Protip: Never attack a Midwesterner with over 70 years of ice scraper experience

Thank you. I have been trying to figure out how best to mount my attack on the next Midwesterner. They're tough farkers.

They have nothing to lose. They already live in a frozen hellscape, so anything you might do to them is amusing at best.

Terrified Asexual Forcemeat: Only slightly less well-known is never to start a land war in Asia.

You complete me.

The knife wielder's name is Talon LaClaire.

When ice scrapers are outlawed, only outlaws will have ice scrapers.



I just thought it needed stating...

Its like I always say: Never bring a knife.to an icescraper fight.

starsrift: MoeSzyslak: Damn right! Because if Michael Moore taught us anything it's that there is no crime in Canada.

Are you stupid or simply fond of sweeping hyperbole?

Sweeping Hyperbole opens for Ice Scraper Experience this weekend at the Fairplex.

I would have thought, with all the stories about old people beating the shiat out of would-be robbers and the like, that we would have learned by now to never, EVER attack elderly folks. They are likely to destroy you utterly.

The Dreaded Rear Admiral: Zeiss_Ikon: Dammit, we have to give this jackass a trial, pay for his room and board for 3 weeks then watch him go free.

Easier to obtain gun permits would mean the old guy would have been out 89¢ for a bullet and we'd be a healthier species....



How dare we give a suspected criminal due process? Vigilante law is the only true justice!

/only responding because you sound like my loony First Amendment absolutist coworker
//we live under the rule of law for a reason; you don't like it, I hear there's openings in Zimbabwe

We live with a justice system that is easily corrupted. I present New Orleans as an example, you shoot someone in the 'bad parts' of town and you'll get locked up for a short while (I think it's 30 days), if no witnesses come forward (they don't, they'll get shot), the person goes free. This is all regardless of any ballistic evidence the police may have.

Proof? A local rapper was shot dead, during the day in a neighborhood. They found the shooter who had a motive, matched the gun in his pocket to the crime, but no witnesses came forward and he walked.

It's a joke for the gangs out there.

ragnarqk: I would have thought, with all the stories about old people beating the shiat out of would-be robbers and the like, that we would have learned by now to never, EVER attack elderly folks. They are likely to destroy you utterly.

I believe their thinking goes along these lines, "I've been putting up with bullshiat for over 70 years. I'm old, I'm going to die soon. Fark it! It's payback time!"

Never mess with anyone with nothing to lose.

Forget those scraper wielding geezers, those scraper riding young tuffs look waaaay more dangerous!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hQGLNPJ9VCE

Dreaded: "only responding because you sound like my loony First Amendment absolutist coworker"

Did you by chance mean 2d Amendment absolutist?

/not a lot of rabid right to assembly types out there...

Protip: Stop saying Protip

i want to see the icescaper i know in michigan we got ones that extend for suvs and stuff that are only a few inches short of being a staff

Waiting for subby to explain how an infant can wield an ice scraper.

/puts it at maybe 65 years experience, at the most
//former Midwesterner
///ninja ice scraper skillz

Can we please get rid of the word "protip"?

Amateurtip: Using the term 'protip' makes you sound like a douche nugget.

/protip: get off my lawn

Protip: Anyone using protip is a slathering dickwad. (I'm looking at you, subby...)

I came for the Farscape reference- I leave disappointed.

normalclose: beat me to it. :-)

Internet User: why are there never amateur tips? pros started somewhere.

Because there was never a GameAmateur magazine? Amatuer tip: To defeat the Cyberdemon, shoot at it until it almost dies.

Chuck Norris uses an ice scraper to shave with.