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(News.com.au) Asinine Thousands are flocking to a Roman Catholic Church on an island in the Indian Ocean after the face of Jesus is found in the pleats of a cushion   (news.com.au) divider line 92
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FredaDeStilleto [TotalFark] 2009-03-14 11:44:55 PM  
Finding the face of JC in an assprint is just pathetic.

 
Psychotropic 2009-03-14 11:54:54 PM  
More proof that Christians were not intelligently designed.

 
ninjakirby [TotalFark] 2009-03-15 12:04:25 AM  
www.badastronomy.com
www.telegraph.co.uk
www.telegraph.co.uk
www.telegraph.co.uk


Jesus is everywhere!!

 
dj_bigbird [TotalFark] 2009-03-15 12:10:57 AM  
Ceiling Jesus is watching you masturbate.

 
Psychotropic 2009-03-15 12:51:20 AM  
dj_bigbird: Ceiling Jesus is watching you masturbate.

This raises an interesting point.
How can Christians masturbate knowing that God and Jesus are watching them?

 
dahmers love zombie [TotalFark] 2009-03-15 12:53:05 AM  
Yeah, well if you come over to my place, you can see an image of subby's wife's face in one of my pillows.

/feelin' aggro tonight
//posting this from the bathtub
///love cognitive dissonance

 
dahmers love zombie [TotalFark] 2009-03-15 12:54:23 AM  
Psychotropic: dj_bigbird: Ceiling Jesus is watching you masturbate.

This raises an interesting point.
How can Christians masturbate knowing that God and Jesus are watching them?


Guiltily? Also probably poorly, 'cos apparently God doesn't like it when you play with your butt.

 
thelordofcheese 2009-03-15 04:25:26 AM  
ninjakirby: Jesus Elvis is everywhere!!

 
Jmarkey 2009-03-15 04:26:18 AM  
dahmers love zombie: Psychotropic: dj_bigbird: Ceiling Jesus is watching you masturbate.

This raises an interesting point.
How can Christians masturbate knowing that God and Jesus are watching them?

Guiltily? Also probably poorly, 'cos apparently God doesn't like it when you play with your butt.


Or you just don't.

//Learn to control yourselves
///Get off my lawn

 
0Icky0 2009-03-15 04:27:02 AM  
thelordofcheese: ninjakirby: Jesus Elvis is everywhere!!

And he needs boats.

 
CableGuy 2009-03-15 04:29:17 AM  
Maybe Jeebus was looking for some lost change in the cushions and did a face plant when he slipped.

 
joelybarger 2009-03-15 04:31:58 AM  
No way. Jesus is far too busy appearing in tortillas in Mexico.

 
joelybarger 2009-03-15 04:36:22 AM  
By the way, why does every wrinkle or stain that looks remotely like a face HAVE to be Jesus or Mary? Is it a Christian thing? Do the Jews see Abraham or the Scientologists see L. Ron Hubbard?

/just a thought
//Nooo! Don't sue me Scientology!

 
NeuroticRocker [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-03-15 04:37:27 AM  
children, the word for this is 'pareidolia'

/there will be a test on monday

 
martid4 [TotalFark] 2009-03-15 04:37:37 AM  
Farts work in mysterious ways.

 
ninjakirby [TotalFark] 2009-03-15 04:41:01 AM  
joelybarger: Do the Jews see Abraham or the Scientologists see L. Ron Hubbard?

American Protestants see Jesus everywhere, Catholics see the Virgin Mary everywhere, Muslims see Allah everywhere.

www.telegraph.co.uk
Virgin Mary outside of Catholic church in Clearwater, FL.

www.telegraph.co.uk
The scales supposedly read "Mohammed" on one side and "Allah" on the other.

www.telegraph.co.uk
This one reads "Allah"

www.telegraph.co.uk
This one too.

 
Mitch Mitchell 2009-03-15 04:41:26 AM  
"Pleats of a cushion" would make a good band name. On second thought... not so much.

 
NeuroticRocker [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-03-15 04:44:47 AM  
farm1.static.flickr.com

 
LonMead 2009-03-15 04:45:20 AM  
A story like that BEGS for a song like this. (NSFW content)

Yep, I'm goin' to hell.

/Michael J. Fox has no Elvis in him

 
Gyrfalcon [TotalFark] 2009-03-15 04:47:29 AM  
FTA: ""This is not a miracle, it's a sign of God," said parish priest Daniel Gavard. "

Now I'm confused. If a miracle isn't a sign of god, then...what is it?

 
bearded clamorer 2009-03-15 04:49:11 AM  
imagecache2.allposters.com

 
doshus 2009-03-15 04:50:14 AM  
They thought he had a beard until they realised someone wet-farted on the image...

 
eraser8 2009-03-15 04:51:46 AM  
I've seen visions of Jesus in my ass hair.

/I use a mirror

 
sacrileg 2009-03-15 04:53:02 AM  
Psychotropic: dj_bigbird: Ceiling Jesus is watching you masturbate.

This raises an interesting point.
How can Christians masturbate knowing that God and Jesus are watching them?


I've thought of filming myself before, but I'm satisfied that at least someone gets to see my o face.

 
Vio 2009-03-15 04:54:35 AM  
On "It's Always Sunny in Philidelphia" they had an image of Mary show up! Aweseome episode!! Come to think of it, I don't remember any non awesome episodes!!!

 
joelybarger 2009-03-15 04:55:17 AM  
farm1.static.flickr.com

Is that you, Flying Spaghetti Monster?

 
Mitch Mitchell 2009-03-15 04:55:19 AM  
eraser8: I've seen visions of Jesus in my ass hair.

/I use a mirror


I use a toothbrush

 
Loucifer 2009-03-15 04:57:37 AM  
Jesus Christ, religion is silly.

 
Befuddled 2009-03-15 04:58:36 AM  
Isn't this a sign that there's something wrong with religion and faith? Wouldn't people who are okay with the whole religion thing not need to go halfway around the world to see a smudge? It just seems to me that religion is not delivering to many what they claim.

 
Somaticasual [TotalFark] 2009-03-15 05:01:10 AM  
You know, without snarking for once - It's amazing how mere coincidental images can evoke the deepest religious feelings. Instead, I would say the truly religious should look at the rest of the world. The splendor of life is more than a match for the chromatic spectrum of glass or burnt toast..

//The mind, it's trained for pattern recognition folks.

 
King Something [TotalFark] 2009-03-15 05:02:40 AM  
I saw an image of Zeus on the gyro I ate for lunch, so I'm really getting a kick....

/once saw Amaterasu in a bowl of ramen
//also saw Thor on a futon I got at Ikea
///haven't yet seen any faces on my Bible, though

 
Ed Finnerty 2009-03-15 05:04:22 AM  
screencrave.com

 
Hilikus9191 2009-03-15 05:12:27 AM  
joelybarger: Is that you, Flying Spaghetti Monster?

Is that you, tentacle rape fantasy?

 
BearToy [TotalFark] 2009-03-15 05:25:11 AM  

home.roadrunner.com

 
Rusty Bumpers 2009-03-15 05:29:35 AM  
farm1.static.flickr.com
If Jesus is there, I'll go with it

I see blow tourch markings on bread. (I really see dancing spiders but won't admit it)

 
Bhruic 2009-03-15 05:39:47 AM  
If the best your deity can do is put images of himself on walls and toast, maybe he's not the guy you should be worshipping. Just saying.

 
Dilbert J. Galt 2009-03-15 06:06:42 AM  
Bhruic: If the best your deity can do is put images of himself on walls and toast, maybe he's not the guy you should be worshipping. Just saying.

He just needs a better publicist.

 
DeathByGeekSquad 2009-03-15 07:08:21 AM  
I haven't checked too recently but it seems the fanfare under the bridge at Fullerton has finally died down, that shiat was annoying. I've shat an image of Jesus, they should all worship me as the Creator.

 
eharac [TotalFark] 2009-03-15 07:21:26 AM  
Usually, it is only Catholics that go for the face of Mary or Jesus in stuff. I know that everyone at my church just shake our heads at this, same as you.

 
signaljammer 2009-03-15 07:27:33 AM  
Avatar of ass!

Real bad addicts are trained to see sobriety as their new challenge. As in, 'Man, I haven't gotten high in three weeks!' for 'Man, I was so high last night!' Perhaps these drips need to try substituting objectivity for faith, for a while.

 
GungFu 2009-03-15 07:31:34 AM  
eharac: Usually, it is only Catholics that go for the face of Mary or Jesus in stuff. I know that everyone at my church just shake our heads at this, same as you.


Almost there, just a little more push on the common-sense and it'll be alright.

 
ghare 2009-03-15 07:39:38 AM  
I gotta make one of these Jesus miracle toasts or whatever and charge admission

 
Jormungandr 2009-03-15 07:50:14 AM  
Psychotropic: dj_bigbird: Ceiling Jesus is watching you masturbate.

This raises an interesting point.
How can Christians masturbate knowing that God and Jesus are watching them?


Perhaps they just know that God is into those thing.

 
More_Like_A_Stain 2009-03-15 09:06:05 AM  
doshus: They thought he had a beard until they realised someone wet-farted on the image...

Protip- If it was wet, it wasn't a fart.

 
GimpyNip 2009-03-15 09:17:08 AM  
Rusty Bumpers: I see blow tourch markings on bread. (I really see dancing spiders but won't admit it)

That is clearly FSM. Stop misinterpreting dietys

 
dionysusaur 2009-03-15 09:24:34 AM  
Thousands of Nuns descend on the place for a chance to sit on their husband's face.

 
chipspastic 2009-03-15 09:26:18 AM  
GimpyNip: Rusty Bumpers: I see blow tourch markings on bread. (I really see dancing spiders but won't admit it)

That is clearly FSM. Stop misinterpreting dietys


Church Of Jesus Christ Of Ld NutriSystem: The Diet Plan for You? (new window)

 
IKillBugs 2009-03-15 09:31:18 AM  
Blah blah blah graven image blah blah blah.

 
Mugato [TotalFark] 2009-03-15 09:53:18 AM  
ninjakirby: Virgin Mary outside of Catholic church in Clearwater, FL.

That was an actual painting of Mary for Christmas. When they took it off, the oil left over gradually made that imprint. By then, people had forgotten it was a painting.

Someone threw a rock through it anyway.

 
SherKhan 2009-03-15 09:55:52 AM  
www.mtv.com

It's... the pleats.

 
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