Infidelity LOL

Girlfriend (6:51 p.m.): I wanted you to I thought about what said last night about me "being a little freaky" and that I enjoyed it What I will say is that dispite having inhibitions, I look forward to exploring anything new with you and making you feel good. YOU have my heart and soul and I could only imagine exploring such worlds with you.

Kwame (6:57): THAT MESSAGE WAS THE shiat!!! THANK YOU SOOOOO MUCH



Girlfriend (12:22 a.m.): Last message, you forgive me because I'm tipsy and really missing you, do you really believe that, even as you are standing somewhere in Vegas with a thousand women around you and probably a hundred on you, do you believe that you will never be alone and my arms are your home?

Kwame (12:28): NO DOUBT. I'm YOURS! fark VEGAS.

this guy's such a romantic.

I like that he sent the exact same text to both his wife and ho.

Rarely have I seen someone send texts containing such intricate and grammatically correct sentences.

Fake.

Who?

baka-san: I like that he sent the exact same text to both his wife and ho.

I came here just to point that out. A real class act, that one.

gross

Biological Ali: baka-san: I like that he sent the exact same text to both his wife and ho.

I came here just to point that out. A real class act, that one.

oh god. What an ass. I can't bring myself to read them.

What would you rate them? X, NC17, R, PG13?

PG13, I think. A few references to sex, but nothing terribly explicit. Bad language might push it to an R.

His wife is beautiful. WTF is that guy's problem?

DAANNNNNG! LOL!

Aracnix: His wife is beautiful. WTF is that guy's problem?

He's already had her.

Fark has my brain absolutely destroyed. The word "girlfriend" is in those messages so many times, the only thing I was thinking while reading through them was, "Man it would be awesome if she texted him about gettings some skripms."

Zombie

Ahhh. Yes. I forgot. Vaginas are like used Kleenex. Soft, moist and disposable.

Aracnix: His wife is beautiful. WTF is that guy's problem?

You've apparently never met her.

Let me put it this way: If there were a Queen of Biatches, she'd be it. If there were a President of Coontville, she'd be it.

She's a nasty, mean, horrible person who treats other people like total crap. Many's a retail worker, waiter, or employee who had to listen to one of her tantrums that starts with, "Do you know who I am?"

Seriously, she's a totally horrible human being with no respect for others and a superiority complex. Perfectly matched to Kwame. She's the biatch who will try to get you fired because you didn't kiss her ass. She's the coont who, when given a new SUV as a gift, complains that it's the wrong color. She's the bint who will tell you, to your face, that you don't matter because she has more money than you, and then she'll drop several names, insult you some more, and then call for the owner to fire you because you didn't laugh when she called you a "dirt-poor piece of shiat."

She's a monster. If I were her husband, I'd be stepping out and trying to keep it from her too.

Of course, this wasn't Kwame's real crime. His REAL crime was using city money to buy personal items for himself, his girlfriend, and his family. SUVs, jewelry, trips, swimming pools, etc. He also lied every chance he got.

brainiac-dumdum: Biological Ali: baka-san: I like that he sent the exact same text to both his wife and ho.

I came here just to point that out. A real class act, that one.

oh god. What an ass. I can't bring myself to read them.

What would you rate them? X, NC17, R, PG13?

In terms of sexual content they're practically G-rated, though I must warn you, reading them will make you want to punch a baby in the face.

Kwame (11:46 a.m.): LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

Oh FFS.

What the fark is wrong with you Detroit?

This is probably pretty normal, as far as affair-texting goes. The disturbing thing would be Cheney's texting about his (self-made) snuff films having not arrived yet.

Kierkegaard's Pseudonym: What the fark is wrong with you Detroit?

Well, lets remember that public opinion among detroiters is higher for Kwame than it is for beatty. He got out of jail sooner and had a 6 figure job lined up, she has nothing, but hes farking kwame, he's like a god to these people.

Maybe its an urban thing, where an urban person has to support someone who is urban and apparently a success story. I'd say black, but my black suburbian (and not even, we are talking auburn hills and farking ponticrack here) coworkers have been told by their detroit friends that their opinions don't count because they don't actually reside in detroit.

These people view corruption with a public position as success, regardless of how much corruption there is there, or what it means that the entire family is a corrupt mini-dynasty within the city holding other people down.

xuanzhiyouxuan: This is probably pretty normal, as far as affair-texting goes. The disturbing thing would be Cheney's texting about his (self-made) snuff films having not arrived yet.

Nahh. My affair texting is much dirtier. X-rated stuff, for sure.

ZeroCorpse: xuanzhiyouxuan: This is probably pretty normal, as far as affair-texting goes. The disturbing thing would be Cheney's texting about his (self-made) snuff films having not arrived yet.

Nahh. My affair texting is much dirtier. X-rated stuff, for sure.

Sure, it may be dirtier, but "Cheney texting requesting the overdue prints of his snuff films" dirtier? That's quite a claim.

Kierkegaard's Pseudonym: What the fark is wrong with you Detroit?

Same thing that's wrong with the rest of the country. The plebs want someone they can drink a beer with. The only difference is, in some parts of the country that beer is Coors, in others, its Colt 45.

Can I just say how stupid anyone is to believe everything a married man tells them? Unless he has a very good reason not to break up with the wife, chances are he doesn't love you or he would be doing so already.

By all means, go ahead and have sex with married people, but don't believe they love you until they at least file for divorce or separate from the wife.

Though I suppose "I don't want to hurt my career by a divorce" might sound like a good reason to some.

8/30/04
Kwame (5:25 p.m.): CAN I GET SOME SUGAR LATER?
Girlfriend (5:36): NO QUESTION!!!
Kwame (5:37): THANK YOU MAM!
Girlfriend (5:39): CAN'T WAIT.
Kwame (5:43): ME NEITHER!
Kwame (8:09): I'm GOING TO YOUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW.

Perhaps he was just interested in expediting his acquisition of sweetener. Get your minds out of the gutter!

Didn't I order everyone that texts in all caps to kill themselves?

I could have sworn I did that

Sextextia...

From_The_Year_2000: Didn't I order everyone that texts in all caps to kill themselves?

I could have sworn I did that

YOU DID. ALAS, Y0UR EDICT WAS NOT FOLLOWED, TO THE DETRIMENT OF MANKIND.

andrewagill: From_The_Year_2000: Didn't I order everyone that texts in all caps to kill themselves?

I could have sworn I did that

YOU DID. ALAS, Y0UR EDICT WAS NOT FOLLOWED, TO THE DETRIMENT OF MANKIND.

LOLOLOLOLOLOL

A++++++++++++++++

WOULD TEXT AGAIN

LOLOLOLOLOLOL!

Girlfriend (6:51 p.m.): I wanted you to I thought about what said last night about me "being a little freaky" and that I enjoyed it What I will say is that dispite having inhibitions, I look forward to exploring anything new with you and making you feel good. YOU have my heart and soul and I could only imagine exploring such worlds with you.


What What IN THE BUTT.

Two points:

#1 I was a fan of a bunch of GOP sites back in the day, and never seen any of them do this to one of their own like TPM does here. DailyKos is now saying 'Go after Murtha'. Quite frankly, this is the difference between the modern day GOP and Dems.

#2 The Fark admins are clearly GOP, since they call this bashing of a Dem politician "Commie" on their little fake chart they have to try to pretend how unbiased they are. Like a lot of Republicans, the only ones they're fooling are themselves.

Eventually we'll have an honorable conservative party in America again. But from the looks of it, we're all going to be waiting for a very long time.

Mr.Insightful: Two points:

#1 I was a fan of a bunch of GOP sites back in the day, and never seen any of them do this to one of their own like TPM does here. DailyKos is now saying 'Go after Murtha'. Quite frankly, this is the difference between the modern day GOP and Dems.

#2 The Fark admins are clearly GOP, since they call this bashing of a Dem politician "Commie" on their little fake chart they have to try to pretend how unbiased they are. Like a lot of Republicans, the only ones they're fooling are themselves.

Eventually we'll have an honorable conservative party in America again. But from the looks of it, we're all going to be waiting for a very long time.

THAT POST WAS THE shiat!!! THANK YOU SOOOOO MUCH

Mr.Insightful: Two points:

#1 I was a fan of a bunch of GOP sites back in the day, and never seen any of them do this to one of their own like TPM does here. DailyKos is now saying 'Go after Murtha'. Quite frankly, this is the difference between the modern day GOP and Dems.

#2 The Fark admins are clearly GOP, since they call this bashing of a Dem politician "Commie" on their little fake chart they have to try to pretend how unbiased they are. Like a lot of Republicans, the only ones they're fooling are themselves.

Eventually we'll have an honorable conservative party in America again. But from the looks of it, we're all going to be waiting for a very long time.

Fail LOLOLOLOLOLLOLOL

She actually used the word "interwebz".

Yes, I'm sure she pronounced it with the 'z'.

Crap, wrong thread. Kill me now.

Was meant for this one: Link (new window)

Paula's Beautiful Bloodshot Eyes: Girlfriend (6:51 p.m.): I wanted you to I thought about what said last night about me "being a little freaky" and that I enjoyed it What I will say is that dispite having inhibitions, I look forward to exploring anything new with you and making you feel good. YOU have my heart and soul and I could only imagine exploring such worlds with you.


What What IN THE BUTT.

Clearly this was the before text, or else she would've added exceptions.

Rethorn: Mr.Insightful: Two points:

#1 I was a fan of a bunch of GOP sites back in the day, and never seen any of them do this to one of their own like TPM does here. DailyKos is now saying 'Go after Murtha'. Quite frankly, this is the difference between the modern day GOP and Dems.

#2 The Fark admins are clearly GOP, since they call this bashing of a Dem politician "Commie" on their little fake chart they have to try to pretend how unbiased they are. Like a lot of Republicans, the only ones they're fooling are themselves.

Eventually we'll have an honorable conservative party in America again. But from the looks of it, we're all going to be waiting for a very long time.

Fail LOLOLOLOLOLLOLOL

Well, the link and headline really *aren't* commie, and this is not an isolated incident...

My own assumption is there's one very partisan mod and a whole bunch of mods who don't give a damn.

Mr.Insightful: Two points:

#1 I was a fan of a bunch of GOP sites back in the day, and never seen any of them do this to one of their own like TPM does here. DailyKos is now saying 'Go after Murtha'. Quite frankly, this is the difference between the modern day GOP and Dems.

#2 The Fark admins are clearly GOP, since they call this bashing of a Dem politician "Commie" on their little fake chart they have to try to pretend how unbiased they are. Like a lot of Republicans, the only ones they're fooling are themselves.

Eventually we'll have an honorable conservative party in America again. But from the looks of it, we're all going to be waiting for a very long time.

But...but both parties are the SAME!!! Didn't you see that South Park episode with the Douchebag and Turd Sandwich? The message there was that even though Republicans had majority control of government for 6 years and completely screwed the country up in that time while completely betraying their principles, Nancy Pelosi has a PRIVATE JET. See? They're the same. Like how the MSNBC/Kos/TPM/CNN MSM will report on Ted Stevens getting arrested for corruption charges but won't tell the world about how Obama isn't American, because they're biased.

mikeandeichmann: But...but both parties are the SAME!!! Didn't you see that South Park episode with the Douchebag and Turd Sandwich? The message there was that even though Republicans had majority control of government for 6 years and completely screwed the country up in that time while completely betraying their principles, Nancy Pelosi has a PRIVATE JET. See? They're the same. Like how the MSNBC/Kos/TPM/CNN MSM will report on Ted Stevens getting arrested for corruption charges but won't tell the world about how Obama isn't American, because they're biased.

You just have to look at Obama and Bush to see how little difference exists between the two parties. Bush is the ultimate idiot, forever doing wrong and smiling all the way. Obama comes in and does pretty much the same thing. Sure, he removes embryonic stem cell bans and promises to only torture some people some of the time, but nothing's really changed except a number on your tax forms. Neither party is up to the task of fundamentally altering the failing structure of American government, and each party (with its representative constituency) is content to change the wallpaper in this condemned building and champion it as meaningful progress.

Kierkegaard's Pseudonym:

You just have to look at Obama and Bush to see how little difference exists between the two parties. Bush is the ultimate idiot, forever doing wrong and smiling all the way. Obama comes in and does pretty much the same thing. Sure, he removes embryonic stem cell bans and promises to only torture some people some of the time, but nothing's really changed except a number on your tax forms. Neither party is up to the task of fundamentally altering the failing structure of American government, and each party (with its representative constituency) is content to change the wallpaper in this condemned building and champion it as meaningful progress.

Welcome to Democracy. Change is incremental and rather slow, get used to it.

Obama has been in office for 50 days. In that time, he has shown he can listen to scientists (stem cell ban lifted), economists (actually having a stimulus bill instead of the all tax cuts, all the time bill that the other party proposed), and civil libertarians (actually giving Guantanamo prisoners trials and due process). On top of that, he is actively trying to draw down a war that serves no purpose (started by his predecessor) and focus on the conflict that's actually important to global security. And those are the things that I managed to think of in about 10 seconds. He has done that in 50 days. Whether you agree with his policies or not, you would have to be crazy or stupid to think that nothing has changed between Obama and Bush.

James Joyce mocks these shallow attempts at love texts. Where are the scatological references?

mikeandeichmann: Whether you agree with his policies or not, you would have to be crazy or stupid to think that nothing has changed between Obama and Bush.

All wallpaper in the crumbling building.

Where is the long term plan for debt reduction, balanced budgets, and electoral reforms? Where is the return to a government by the people, instead of one above the people? Where is the return to the Constitution, instead of selective constitutionalism? Where is the priority on honest release of facts and numbers instead of gut instinct and partisanship. How does the current budget account for the future pitfalls (Social Security, etc.)? These are the things that are important to me, not the transient nature of the color of the man in the Oval Office. And neither a white nor a black President has done anything to address the fundamental weaknesses of America.

I'm with Carlin when he says that America gets the government that it deserves. And it's why I haven't voted since I first turned eighteen and naively cast a ballot.

Kierkegaard's Pseudonym: I'm with Carlin when he says that America gets the government that it deserves. And it's why I haven't voted since I first turned eighteen and naively cast a ballot.

Then frankly, shut the fark up because you chose to make yourself not count. The entire "both parties are the same" false dichotomy is so obviously busted that even a child can see the differences granted the excesses of the last 8 years.

Cast a ballot next time, because until you do, you're just another quivering asshole mewling crap from his lips who's just too damn cowardly to do anything about it. You remind me of the fat women that I work with that moan and gripe about how fat they are, but wont put down the farking twinkie or go for a walk. Yes, in fact, I bet that's you to a perfect 'T'

Kierkegaard's Pseudonym:
I'm with Carlin when he says that America gets the government that it deserves. And it's why I haven't voted since I first turned eighteen and naively cast a ballot.

Then you deserve no government. What's the logic? You'll only start voting if government starts behaving like you think it should? I think you have the process backwards there, champ. You want to biatch about government? Then go cast your ballot for Ron Paul or Mike Gravel or even that irrelevant windbag Ralph Nader, then biatch about how this country needs more drastic change. Acting pretentiously aloof about politics on an internet forum while not even taking the most basic step towards pursuing your ideal government is absurd.

"I got busted by a corruption investigation sending the same text to my wife and girlfriend, FML"

TwistedFark: Then frankly, shut the fark up because you chose to make yourself not count. The entire "both parties are the same" false dichotomy is so obviously busted that even a child can see the differences granted the excesses of the last 8 years.

Cast a ballot next time, because until you do, you're just another quivering asshole mewling crap from his lips who's just too damn cowardly to do anything about it. You remind me of the fat women that I work with that moan and gripe about how fat they are, but wont put down the farking twinkie or go for a walk. Yes, in fact, I bet that's you to a perfect 'T

Unfortunately my cold, hard logic allows me to see the statistical meaningless of my vote, especially considering my political inclinations. That you equate casting a vote on a Tuesday in a peaceful nation with bravery is exactly what I'm trying to point out as idiocy in this thread. You believe in the ideal rather than the practicality, and will follow the leaders of those ideals to the depths of hell regardless of whether or not they truly offer a difference from the other party. It's all perception.

If I could perceive the world in a way that let me leave the poll with utter satisfaction and a conviction of my moral correctness, believe me I would. I would welcome ignorance and its resultant bliss, but unfortunately I can't seem to will that one out of my brain. It's all a big game, and I consciously choose not to play when I don't have a stake in passing Go. I'm a practical man, but casting a vote in America is like voting for red or red-minus-one, and not worth the gas money to get to the poll.

Kierkegaard's Pseudonym:

Unfortunately my cold, hard logic allows me to see the statistical meaningless of my vote, especially considering my political inclinations. That you equate casting a vote on a Tuesday in a peaceful nation with bravery is exactly what I'm trying to point out as idiocy in this thread. You believe in the ideal rather than the practicality, and will follow the leaders of those ideals to the depths of hell regardless of whether or not they truly offer a difference from the other party. It's all perception.

If I could perceive the world in a way that let me leave the poll with utter satisfaction and a conviction of my moral correctness, believe me I would. I would welcome ignorance and its resultant bliss, but unfortunately I can't seem to will that one out of my brain. It's all a big game, and I consciously choose not to play when I don't have a stake in passing Go. I'm a practical man, but casting a vote in America is like voting for red or red-minus-one, and not worth the gas money to get to the poll.

Protip: Trying to approximate philosophical nihlism does not make you smart, or even sound smart.

Statistically, your vote is meaningless, sure. At the inception of this country, where we had a small government built around the constitution and not enslaved by debt, an individual's vote was statistically meaningless too. People still voted, and based on the nature of society in a given time and the surrounding circumstances, government grew and evolved into what it is today. That is change, and the fact that you wish that government is more like it was in the past is evidence that yes, government does change and voting plays a part in it.

That is the practical truth. The only idealism I see is coming from you, who seems to think that change in democracies comes about from nothing, and until you see that change you refuse to participate. I don't understand how you can't see how flawed and childish that notion is. You want change? Then farking do something about it, otherwise you're just an armchair philosopher trying to conflate apathy with intellectualism in an attempt to justify your existence.

mikeandeichmann: That is the practical truth. The only idealism I see is coming from you, who seems to think that change in democracies comes about from nothing, and until you see that change you refuse to participate. I don't understand how you can't see how flawed and childish that notion is. You want change? Then farking do something about it, otherwise you're just an armchair philosopher trying to conflate apathy with intellectualism in an attempt to justify your existence.

I run an organization that attempts to improve the lives of American citizens on a local, grassroots level. Practically, I've seen more change come about by our involvement in community projects (cleanup of housing, parks renewal, arts production, etc.) than thirty years of government rule. I spend my time and my money where it can do the most difference, and voting for the red or blue tie in the White House or Senate doesn't do jack shiat for the majority of people on the ground that I see every day. So forgive me if I laugh when you tell me to "do something about it." I already am.

Kierkegaard's Pseudonym:

I run an organization that attempts to improve the lives of American citizens on a local, grassroots level. Practically, I've seen more change come about by our involvement in community projects (cleanup of housing, parks renewal, arts production, etc.) than thirty years of government rule. I spend my time and my money where it can do the most difference, and voting for the red or blue tie in the White House or Senate doesn't do jack shiat for the majority of people on the ground that I see every day. So forgive me if I laugh when you tell me to "do something about it." I already am.

Oh. Forgive me. I thought we were talking about enacting political and governmental change. I'm not really sure what working on renewing parks has to do with anything discussed thus far, unless you are educating people about your political stances and trying to change government by nailing your doctrine of responsible spending (etc etc) to a tree. But, since you did decide to change the subject (the last refuge of a scoundrel), I guess I have to agree with you: This administration is completely identical to the last one in terms of "arts production" (which is something you apparently value). Oh...wait a second!

Link

Apparently the Obama administration values the arts enough to give them funding, while Republicans protest it! Clearly the parties are mirror-images of each other! And can you really imagine Bush ever setting aside that much money for the arts in an economic stimulus bill? No? Well, it's almost as if your argument STILL doesn't hold any water. Surprising.