Protip: stop using the word 'protip' or I'll bash your head in.

gopher321: Protip: stop using the word 'protip' or I'll bash your head in.

Protip, Internet Tough guys aren't gonna bash anyone's head in.

Oldiron_79 2009-03-14 01:53:51 PM
gopher321: Protip: stop using the word 'protip' or I'll bash your head in.

Protip, Internet Tough guys aren't gonna bash anyone's head in


heads due for bashin

gopher321: Protip: stop using the word 'protip' or I'll bash your head in.

Protip, protip, protip.....

KAAAAAAAAAAANNG!!!!

Anybody who watched Black Belt Jones could have told you that.

Haha.

"Dumbass attempts to rob martial arts expert" has to be one of my all-time favorite categories of stories on Fark.

Doc Daneeka: Haha.

"Dumbass attempts to rob martial arts expert" has to be one of my all-time favorite categories of stories on Fark.

It's articles like these that brought me to Fark!

gopher321 : Protip: stop using the word 'protip' or I'll bash your head in.

As long as it's not Gorgor or Rugbyjock, I'm ok with using protip.

Protip protip protip...

PROTIP!!!!!! Nope, no fists near me.. yet.

After RTFA, I feel somewhat deflated..
I was hoping for some chop socky action, legs and arms being broken, that sorta thing..

"grabbed him by the neck and sat him down while he called police.
The robber took off and Kang gave chase, finally catching up with the man and holding him by the neck until police arrived."

What kinda martial arts is that? "holding him by the neck" My mum could do that, BORING!

A couple of years ago, one guy tried to rob a friend of mine.

The friend who does professional Ultimate Fighting.

If you try to rob most marital artists, they'll beat, you a bit, subdue you, turn you into the cops.

Ultimate Fighting don't do that.

It could have been a short fight, but it wasn't, exactly. The "fight" part took a few seconds, the beating took a few minutes.

They scraped the mugger off of the sidewalk and took him to the hospital. After a month or so, he went to jail.

Idiots in my town couldn't seem to figure out that you don't rob some place with "knives and martial arts" in its name, at least not while they are open.

lantawa: gopher321: Protip: stop using the word 'protip' or I'll bash your head in.

Protip, protip, protip.....

WoodEye.

I'm a dork. What I found funniest was that this happened in Milwaukee, WI and the link is for Seattle, WA

gopher321: Protip: stop using the word 'protip' or I'll bash your head in.

You didn't seem to mind MY pro tip last night ;)

Came here expecting a "SUPPLIIIIES!"

Taoist came close enough. Thank you!

"Eeek! A Prowler!"

/Hasutaki-Ha
//Reasonably obscure

MrSloppy: Came here expecting a "SUPPLIIIIES!"

Taoist came close enough. Thank you!

Boot to the head!

There is a disappointing lack of people getting kicked in the head in that article.

taoistlumberjak: MrSloppy: Came here expecting a "SUPPLIIIIES!"

Taoist came close enough. Thank you!

What's this reference?
I know, it's fark, shouldn't be obscure, and I fail. But it looks amusing.

weapon13: Protip protip protip...

PROTIP!!!!!! Nope, no fists near me.. yet.

After RTFA, I feel somewhat deflated..
I was hoping for some chop socky action, legs and arms being broken, that sorta thing..

"grabbed him by the neck and sat him down while he called police.
The robber took off and Kang gave chase, finally catching up with the man and holding him by the neck until police arrived."

What kinda martial arts is that? "holding him by the neck" My mum could do that, BORING!

You're dealing with a middleman who probably couldn't tell you what an uppercut looks like, don't expect accuracy.

This reminds me of the idiots who pulled over a bus in Eastern Europe and tried to rob it. When they jumped on the bus waving their pistols, they came face to face with 20 rifles aimed at their heads. It was the Romanian Olympic rifle team or something like that.

They gave the crooks a ride to the next police station, and a badly-needed change of underwear.

Doc Daneeka: "Dumbass attempts to rob martial arts expert" has to be one of my all-time favorite categories of stories on Fark.

Second only to "dumbass attempts to rob gun store, with predictable results".

DemonEater:
What's this reference?
I know, it's fark, shouldn't be obscure, and I fail. But it looks amusing.

It's from the Weird Al movie UHF: here's the clip:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RB2GboGOuTI

They need to re-release UHF on the big screen. I bet it would make as much as Dark Kuh-nig-it.

Checklist: Places not to rob:

1) Tae Kwon Do studio
2) Any martial arts studio of any kind for that matter.
3) Gun range, club, or any other place with the word "gun" in its name.
4) Dunkin' Donuts

Check.

-GWW

I went to school with the son of a Tae Kwon Do master who ran his own studio. The son, Jae, was also a master, and a complete dick about it.

One day, Jae was being a bit of a dick when one of the stoners started a fight with him. Suffice it to say that the stoner ended up spitting out teeth and regretting coming to school that day.

(Segue) But that wasn't as cool as the day the blonde, asshole, jock BMOC (Ted) got in the face of one of the stoners, thinking he could kick his ass after school in the parking lot.

He couldn't.

He got his ass beat badly, and was even dragged for a while hanging out the door of the stoner's van (yes, done on purpose). He lived, but his royal ass-beating served as a message to the jocks and preps. Perhaps the stoner would have met a beat-down at the hands of the rest of the jocks, all together, if it hadn't been for prep social politics. You see, with Ted (whom nobody liked anyway) out of the way, the next jock on the ladder was able to move up and take over where Ted left off, with the exception of leaving the stoners alone.

Of course, some of the less-cool stoners and idiot jocks tried to pick fights with my clique- the punks- and found out that the outcasts wore spikes and steel-toed combat boots for a reason.

High school was a riot.

/End derailing of thread
//Emos can't fight back.
///Juggalos THINK they can fight.
////Band geeks will f*ck you up. (not really)

He's lucky it was not a Tae Kwon Leap (^) studio.

DeathByGeekSquad: You're dealing with a middleman who probably couldn't tell you what an uppercut looks like, don't expect accuracy.

I was curious about the mysterious Chinese secret neck hold. He should have done "monkey steals the peach." Works ninety oercent of the time, every time.

trerro: DemonEater:
What's this reference?
I know, it's fark, shouldn't be obscure, and I fail. But it looks amusing.

It's from the Weird Al movie UHF: here's the clip:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RB2GboGOuTI

Oh crap, yeah I saw that movie and loved it, but it's been so long I've forgotten most of it.

I'm a martial arts robber, so I'm getting a kick out of these thefts..

ZeroCorpse: I went to school with the son of a Tae Kwon Do master who ran his own studio. The son, Jae, was also a master, and a complete dick about it.

There are no masters in high school.

There may have been a happy ending next door. Too bad.

Kang found the man going through his closet, grabbed him by the neck and sat him down while he called police.

He's lucky it was just Kang.

Protip: When Amateur Tips just won't do.

Also, say no to:

Poser Tips
Wannabe Tips
Duffer Tips
Just Doing It On a Lark Tips
Waning Interest Tips
Spit tipS

and

"My Truck is Big and Yellow, but It's Okay, I Know What I'm Doing" Tips

lantawa: gopher321: Protip: stop using the word 'protip' or I'll bash your head in.

Protip, protip, protip.....

KAAAAAAAAAAANNG!!!!

No, no, no. You're doing it wrong. Now try again and this time, it's more of a "Wahhhhhhhh!"

/Came in here for an argument.

eggrolls: lantawa: gopher321: Protip: stop using the word 'protip' or I'll bash your head in.

Protip, protip, protip.....

KAAAAAAAAAAANNG!!!!

No, no, no. You're doing it wrong. Now try again and this time, it's more of a "Wahhhhhhhh!"

/Came in here for an argument.


Boy, did you come to the wrong thread

One Bad Apple: eggrolls: lantawa: gopher321: Protip: stop using the word 'protip' or I'll bash your head in.

Protip, protip, protip.....

KAAAAAAAAAAANNG!!!!

No, no, no. You're doing it wrong. Now try again and this time, it's more of a "Wahhhhhhhh!"

/Came in here for an argument.


Boy, did you come to the wrong thread

No, I didn't.

Imagine if he had tried to rob a studio that taught a real martial art.

/ducks, sidesteps, leg checks, whatever

taoistlumberjak: STUUUUPIIIIIID!

Winrar.

Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: "Eeek! A Prowler!"

/Hasutaki-Ha
//Reasonably obscure


"Fred's under the bed!"

Second best martial-arts real-life story I know:
My instructor in Nevada stopped by a 7-11 after class one night. There were 2 kids in there poking around, and the clerk was watching them. My instructor came up to the counter, and the clerk whispered to him, "They won't leave."

So he hung around while the guys kept poking around. Then a sheriff's car pulled into the parking lot; the cops in our town had a signal worked out with that 7-11 clerk if she was in trouble. One of the guys bolted out the door; the other one ran past my instructor, and bumped up against him. My instructor instantly body-slammed the guy and held him while the deputies caught the other guy outside.

One had some kind of weapon IIRC; they were waiting till my instructor left & were going to pull some lame hold-up on this poor clerk. Nice.

Gyrfalcon: Second best martial-arts real-life story I know:
My instructor in Nevada stopped by a 7-11 after class one night. There were 2 kids in there poking around, and the clerk was watching them. My instructor came up to the counter, and the clerk whispered to him, "They won't leave."

So he hung around while the guys kept poking around. Then a sheriff's car pulled into the parking lot; the cops in our town had a signal worked out with that 7-11 clerk if she was in trouble. One of the guys bolted out the door; the other one ran past my instructor, and bumped up against him. My instructor instantly body-slammed the guy and held him while the deputies caught the other guy outside.

One had some kind of weapon IIRC; they were waiting till my instructor left & were going to pull some lame hold-up on this poor clerk. Nice.

That story totally reminds me of the time I was working a 7-11. I had just been fired from all american burger for using prophanity and threatening a customer. Anyhoo, I'm working. My friend from school comes in- 'Jeff' to buy some candy and whatnot. Anyway, Jeff goes to the bathroom just as some guy comes in and spray paints the lens of the security camera and points a gun at my face! "GIMME THE MONEY!" I open the cash register and he smacks a display of twinkies at me "Not there, the safe! THE SAFE! I 'been watching this place- HURRY UP!"
Just then Jeff comes out of the bathroom and distracts the guy, I grab the coffee pot and throw the scalding hot coffee on the guy's face! He falls to the ground screaming as his getaway cars peels out of the parking lot.
I grab the gun from him and say "There goes your ride! HA-HA!"
Jeff says "Way to go Hamilton!" and I got a promotion.

Good times. good, fast times.

did he have his peach stolen by a monkey?