I hear his favorite chord is "A Minor".

/Ba-zing.

Did the shows really sell out or did Ticketmaster cronies just buy all the seats?

I wonder what the over/under is whether or not he actually shows up to a single concert, let alone 10 or 22 or more. Then again, he has more debt than General Motors, so maybe he wised up, realized he needed the money, and actually will perform at as many shows as people will buy tickets for.

oh snap, subby... took a while to get to the punchline, but i got time.

Michael Jackson caught shopping at Target the other day...heard boys pants were half off there...

rytheran: Did the shows really sell out or did Ticketmaster cronies just buy all the seats?

This. Seems every time I go to a good concert, all the same scalpers have all the good seats. I know it's not cuz they happen to log onto the website first.

On another note, anyone catch Michael Jackson night on American Idol last night? Bad idea to begin with, but he judges were raving about this hot topic kid that sang Black or White. It was SO lame, as am I for talking about American Idol.

The Michael Jackson snack?

A 50 year old hot dog in 12 year old buns...

He's just trying to cash in on his recent fame, what with his movie being #1 at the box office last week.

rytheran: Did the shows really sell out or did Ticketmaster cronies just buy all the seats?

Just the presales sold out. Tickets go on sale to the general public on Friday.
(I really, really shouldn't know that much.)

What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a plastic bag?

One carries your groceries and the other has sex with kids.

busy chillin': What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a plastic bag?

One carries your groceries and the other has sex with kids.

I don't get it. What grocery store does Michael Jackson work for?

San-LC
busy chillin': What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a plastic bag?

One carries your groceries and the other has sex with kids.

I don't get it. What grocery store does Michael Jackson work for?

Ummm....there is really nothing to get. Are you making a joke back?

That was the best Michael Jackson "zinger" headline I think I've ever read on Fark.

Good on ya, submitter.

ba-dum-tish

NorCalLos: rytheran: Did the shows really sell out or did Ticketmaster cronies just buy all the seats?

This. Seems every time I go to a good concert, all the same scalpers have all the good seats. I know it's not cuz they happen to log onto the website first.

On another note, anyone catch Michael Jackson night on American Idol last night? Bad idea to begin with, but he judges were raving about this hot topic kid that sang Black or White. It was SO lame, as am I for talking about American Idol.

Not a bad idea, but I watched half of it and knew maybe 2 songs. There are so many Jackson classics, and I heard none of them.

/He's probably the best single(non-band) recording artist of all time. Ahead of Elvis for me, but maybe that's generational.

Nothing against MJ or Quincy Jones or Berry Gordy. It's just that most of his popular songs don't have much in the way of lyrics or vocal melody. They worked because of his unique voice and singing style, slick production, expensive music videos, stage performance and persona. Not exactly what karaoke contests are made for.

Oops...meant to add this:

Link (new window)

Obvious tag is a perv.

the difference between michael jackson and a plastic bag: one is made of plastic and should be kept away from small children, and the other carries your groceries.

satanicsantoku
the difference between michael jackson and a plastic bag: one is made of plastic and should be kept away from small children, and the other carries your groceries.

That is better than the version I've heard and posted.

The man hasn't sung even ONE SONG on stage in like... 5 years.

People are idiots. I mean, I like his music as much as the next guy but you really think he's going to get up there and sing well?

Until he proves me otherwise, I highly suspect it'll be a laugher.

What the hell happened to Fark?

Someone get me a Totalfark subscription so I can hide with the rest of you.


/or Ultrafark because I am that cool.

Listen, even if this guy sucks like Britney, he has many, many more rabid fans than Britney, and she's doing all right on her tour, isn't she?

MJ could walk out, grab his crotch and go "whoop!" and people would pay $300 for it. He'll come up with something. It can't be any worse than Britney's show--walk around the stage, lip-sync, put on lots of weird, costumes, and have lots of special effects and back-up dancers. Profit.

Q: When is it bedtime at Michael Jackson's house?

A: When the big hand touches the little hand.

jake3988: The man hasn't sung even ONE SONG on stage in like... 5 years.

People are idiots. I mean, I like his music as much as the next guy but you really think he's going to get up there and sing well?

Until he proves me otherwise, I highly suspect it'll be a laugher.

His recent collaboration with Akon is okay. He's still got that voice.

You're being ignorant!

/Yeah, hotlinked.