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(SFGate) Asinine What kind of legal matter takes three months, two city councilwomen, and a five page legal opinion from the city attorney NOT to resolve? Why, who gets the good parking space, of course. Welcome to Oakland, CA   (sfgate.com) divider line 32
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James Brown 2009-03-08 11:03:34 PM  
sounds about right

 
Terrified Asexual Forcemeat 2009-03-08 11:20:15 PM  
This all used to be maple trees!

 
bourneobscurity 2009-03-08 11:30:02 PM  
I was going to make the obligatory mud wrestling suggestion, but then I saw the pics.

 
Jonathan Hohensee 2009-03-08 11:34:00 PM  
Welcome to Oakland, CA
Why do people always think that their city has the monopoly on petty, corrupt, shiat head leaders?
ALL city governments are like this.

 
me_the_farker 2009-03-08 11:37:18 PM  
My solution:

Fire both of them and send them the bill for wasting city resources on their petty bullsh*t.

 
Kuta 2009-03-08 11:46:20 PM  
Thing to do would be to check the city charter for whatever tie-breaking method they use in an election. Then let the women do that and be done with it.

/Morans

 
CaesarSneezy 2009-03-08 11:59:30 PM  
How about whoever the meter maid doesn't shoot in the back gets to park there?

 
Feldspar Q. Walrustitty 2009-03-09 12:02:53 AM  
Jonathan Hohensee: Welcome to Oakland, CA
Why do people always think that their city has the monopoly on petty, corrupt, shiat head leaders?
ALL city governments are like this.


I lived in Oakland for two months only. Why?

Because the council voted no overtime for firefighters. So when there was a fire back in 1991, they made most of the firefighters leave when their shift was over. Told them to come back in the morning, and left a few night shift firefighters to keep the fire under control for the night.

The next morning the winds kicked up. 50 lives and 3000 houses were lost in the space of about 8 hours. I was living in one of those houses. My dog and I got out with not much time to spare.

Fark the Oakland city leaders. Fark 'em hard.

 
Moray 2009-03-09 12:31:03 AM  
" biatches please! "
- Black Dynamite could solve this.

 
Bermuda59 2009-03-09 12:34:37 AM  
"I've said it before, and I'll say it again: democracy just doesn't work."
Kent Brockman

 
wingnut396 2009-03-09 12:41:48 AM  
me_the_farker: My solution:

Fire both of them and send them the bill for wasting city resources on their petty bullsh*t.


Why fire them both? One has and still is perfectly fine flipping a coin for it. Its the other one that won't stop biatching.

 
moothemagiccow 2009-03-09 12:48:08 AM  
Kuta: Thing to do would be to check the city charter for whatever tie-breaking method they use in an election. Then let the women do that and be done with it.

/Moransfark that. Pull one of those mexican taco trailers in there and bolt it down. Neither of them get it.

I don't understand the parking spot obsession in this country anyway. People will pull up behind someone backing out and wait while there are dozens of spots further back. I've got these crazy things called legs and i think i'll use them

 
me_the_farker 2009-03-09 12:53:21 AM  
wingnut396: me_the_farker: My solution:

Fire both of them and send them the bill for wasting city resources on their petty bullsh*t.

Why fire them both? One has and still is perfectly fine flipping a coin for it. Its the other one that won't stop biatching.


It's a fracking PARKING SPACE it's not like it's a piece of city business that required a city attorney to waste five hours on drafting a legal opinion on. It's just two people arguing who is going to have to walk 50 feet more of parking lot.

 
erik-k [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-03-09 12:54:44 AM  
Remove all Republicans: me_the_farker: Fire both of them and send them the bill for wasting city resources on their petty bullsh*t.

I disagree. This dispute has lead to additional work for both the council president and the city attorney's offices. Every hour they work is an additional dollar of city spending that they can then use to prop up the local economy. It's the multiplier effect in action.

It would be even better if they had to hire new staff just to research this issue. Anything to get the economy back on track.


Dude, give up. Parodies of the insane right are funny because there's nothing you can write that's so crazy one of them hasn't seriously advocated it at one point or another. And slightly scary, because most of the time the advocate was someone with an ostensibly mainstream radio or TV show. That's why people find Colbert's act funny, and what makes our own conservatrolls so hard to distinguish from the real thing. But there's nothing like that with America's insane left. No millions of dittoheads. None of our party leaders would dream of begging forgiveness from our own loud fat blowhard. So your feigned echoing isn't echoing anything; It's just obvious and unfunny.

tl;dr: You're not fooling anyone.

 
me_the_farker 2009-03-09 12:56:43 AM  
moothemagiccow: Kuta: Thing to do would be to check the city charter for whatever tie-breaking method they use in an election. Then let the women do that and be done with it.

/Moransfark that. Pull one of those mexican taco trailers in there and bolt it down. Neither of them get it.

I don't understand the parking spot obsession in this country anyway. People will pull up behind someone backing out and wait while there are dozens of spots further back. I've got these crazy things called legs and i think i'll use them


I would make a handicap parking space. If these people can't settle this without wasting city resources it should go to someone who really needs it.

 
CaesarSneezy 2009-03-09 01:05:37 AM  
erik-k: Remove all Republicans: me_the_farker: Fire both of them and send them the bill for wasting city resources on their petty bullsh*t.

I disagree. This dispute has lead to additional work for both the council president and the city attorney's offices. Every hour they work is an additional dollar of city spending that they can then use to prop up the local economy. It's the multiplier effect in action.

It would be even better if they had to hire new staff just to research this issue. Anything to get the economy back on track.

Dude, give up. Parodies of the insane right are funny because there's nothing you can write that's so crazy one of them hasn't seriously advocated it at one point or another. And slightly scary, because most of the time the advocate was someone with an ostensibly mainstream radio or TV show. That's why people find Colbert's act funny, and what makes our own conservatrolls so hard to distinguish from the real thing. But there's nothing like that with America's insane left. No millions of dittoheads. None of our party leaders would dream of begging forgiveness from our own loud fat blowhard. So your feigned echoing isn't echoing anything; It's just obvious and unfunny.

tl;dr: You're not fooling anyone.


Sometimes he's funny in a pretty nuanced way, but only when playing dumb; the political aspect doesn't come into play. For the most part though, yeah please stop.

 
ninjakirby [TotalFark] 2009-03-09 01:43:41 AM  
Smug pedestrian here. You parkers and your quibbles. I laugh at yee!

 
Shaggy_C 2009-03-09 01:49:46 AM  
ninjakirby: Smug pedestrian here. You parkers and your quibbles. I laugh at yee!

You're doing it wrong. It's "I ride my fixed gear to work at the pet store each morning from my non-gentrified neighborhood so I don't have to worry about parking. See, unlike some people, I care about the environment. If only people were more concious of the world around them like me we'd all be better off. PBR rules."

 
Lemon-Lime Malthus 2009-03-09 02:02:40 AM  
Feldspar Q. Walrustitty: Jonathan Hohensee: Welcome to Oakland, CA
Why do people always think that their city has the monopoly on petty, corrupt, shiat head leaders?
ALL city governments are like this.

I lived in Oakland for two months only. Why?

Because the council voted no overtime for firefighters. So when there was a fire back in 1991, they made most of the firefighters leave when their shift was over. Told them to come back in the morning, and left a few night shift firefighters to keep the fire under control for the night.

The next morning the winds kicked up. 50 lives and 3000 houses were lost in the space of about 8 hours. I was living in one of those houses. My dog and I got out with not much time to spare.

Fark the Oakland city leaders. Fark 'em hard.


That is a farked up story. The council had to be instain to do that. I am trluy sorry for your lots/

 
Jim_Callahan 2009-03-09 02:14:12 AM  
Shaggy_C: ninjakirby: Smug pedestrian here. You parkers and your quibbles. I laugh at yee!

You're doing it wrong. It's "I ride my fixed gear to work at the pet store each morning from my non-gentrified neighborhood so I don't have to worry about parking. See, unlike some people, I care about the environment. If only people were more concious of the world around them like me we'd all be better off. PBR rules."


You've been reading too much "things white people like", man.

//Fixed-gear bicycles are the fastest way of telling people you're an idiot who's intentionally careless of the safety of others.

 
Hoarf 2009-03-09 02:42:19 AM  
Shaggy_C: ninjakirby: Smug pedestrian here. You parkers and your quibbles. I laugh at yee!

You're doing it wrong. It's "I ride my fixed gear to work at the pet store each morning from my non-gentrified neighborhood so I don't have to worry about parking. See, unlike some people, I care about the environment. If only people were more concious of the world around them like me we'd all be better off. PBR rules."


Well, I agree with the bolded part. As for the rest, I'm to fat to bike anywhere. I'd take a Hoveround, though.

 
erik-k [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-03-09 04:34:20 AM  
Hoarf: Well, I agree with the bolded part. As for the rest, I'm to fat to bike anywhere. I'd take a Hoveround, though.

Hoveround? I'm sorry, that's incorrect. The answer we were looking for was

ejksdesktop.homelinux.com

/Google 'stupid segway video'
//You won't be disappointed

 
King Something [TotalFark] 2009-03-09 07:11:03 AM  
Have both of them drink an entire bottle of ipecac. Whoever goes the longest without throwing up wins.

/who wants chowder?

 
AnotherDisillusionedCollegeStudent 2009-03-09 07:55:48 AM  
Oakland, Calif.: Where Detroit goes to feel better about itself.

 
equilibrium 2009-03-09 08:07:41 AM  
Feldspar Q. Walrustitty: I lived in Oakland for two months only. Why?

Because the council voted no overtime for firefighters. So when there was a fire back in 1991, they made most of the firefighters leave when their shift was over. Told them to come back in the morning, and left a few night shift firefighters to keep the fire under control for the night.

The next morning the winds kicked up. 50 lives and 3000 houses were lost in the space of about 8 hours. I was living in one of those houses. My dog and I got out with not much time to spare.

Fark the Oakland city leaders. Fark 'em hard.


You're a farking moron.

California firefighters from all over the state fought that fire. The hills were as dry as a bone and you had winds over sixty miles an house driving the fire from house to house. The oakland fire department being forced to rest eight hours out of twenty-four when they spent the other sixteen fighting a monster wildfire wasn't why you and your dog had to flee your burning home.

My father fought that fire and he lives four hours from the bay area.

 
MyRandomName 2009-03-09 09:55:52 AM  
erik-k: Remove all Republicans: me_the_farker: Fire both of them and send them the bill for wasting city resources on their petty bullsh*t.

I disagree. This dispute has lead to additional work for both the council president and the city attorney's offices. Every hour they work is an additional dollar of city spending that they can then use to prop up the local economy. It's the multiplier effect in action.

It would be even better if they had to hire new staff just to research this issue. Anything to get the economy back on track.

Dude, give up. Parodies of the insane right are funny because there's nothing you can write that's so crazy one of them hasn't seriously advocated it at one point or another. And slightly scary, because most of the time the advocate was someone with an ostensibly mainstream radio or TV show. That's why people find Colbert's act funny, and what makes our own conservatrolls so hard to distinguish from the real thing. But there's nothing like that with America's insane left. No millions of dittoheads. None of our party leaders would dream of begging forgiveness from our own loud fat blowhard. So your feigned echoing isn't echoing anything; It's just obvious and unfunny.

tl;dr: You're not fooling anyone.


Are you one of those people who thought Cancer jokes were funny up until a family member got cancer... then it's "hey guys, that's not funny"?

 
Random Guy 2009-03-09 11:05:18 AM  
Remove all Republicans: wingnut396: Why fire them both? One has and still is perfectly fine flipping a coin for it. Its the other one that won't stop biatching.

Why keep on insisting for a coin when it's clear the other one won't compromise? The solution is to back down and move on. Nothing wrong with that.


I am starting to think your name is France. No wait...even France does not roll over as much as you do.

 
Bo Giggity 2009-03-09 11:05:40 AM  
Jonathan Hohensee 2009-03-08 11:34:00 PM
Welcome to Oakland, CA
Why do people always think that their city has the monopoly on petty, corrupt, shiat head leaders?
ALL large city governments are like this.

FTFY

 
Erik_Emune 2009-03-09 11:53:08 AM  
Make it a reserved spot for constituents with business at City Hall.

(True story: Old boss of mine was made CEO of a daughter company in Germany. The senior management team were dumb enough to bring a feud over reserved parking to him. He told them to GBTW, then reserved their parking spots for customers.)

 
archichris [TotalFark] 2009-03-09 12:15:06 PM  
I think that Black gentleman should let the ugly oriental woman have the parking space. Chivalry you see.

 
erik-k [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-03-09 01:48:27 PM  
MyRandomName

Good job missing the point. The characteristics of the far left and the far right in America are completely different, which means that to be funny parodies of them must be too. The raving, frothing-at-the-mouth conservatrolls are a disturbing eutectic of funny and creepy precisely because they are (I dearly hope) parodies of what a not insignificant number of people out there actually believe. Their dogged insanity mirrors the insanity of the Republicans embracing the wingnuts after being rejected at the ballot box. The same notes they're sounding here are simultaneously being played nationwide by the extreme right with the pretense of being "mainstream," and it's all the scarier because we're in the middle of a rising crescendo.

There are no nationally-syndicated communists on talk radio who rant and rave about the coming Proletarian Revolution. The leaders of the Democratic party distance themselves from far-left groups rather than being afraid to criticize them. The groups themselves are so marginalized you probably can't name any other than perhaps PETA and the ELF. There is no such symphony of insanity on the left, which is precisely what makes Remove all Republicans unfunny - he's playing notes copied from a non-existant symphony.

If the Democratic party had been taken over by a bunch of deranged moonbats while the Republicans remained the voice of sanity, the conservatrolls would be unfunny and RaR would become funny. But it hasn't, so he isn't. If you absolutely insist on characterizing this as some team sport: the cancer jokes are only funny because your team seems to have embraced the cancer and decided that it's a good thing.

 
Feldspar Q. Walrustitty 2009-03-09 03:09:32 PM  
equilibrium: Feldspar Q. Walrustitty: I lived in Oakland for two months only. Why?

Because the council voted no overtime for firefighters. So when there was a fire back in 1991, they made most of the firefighters leave when their shift was over. Told them to come back in the morning, and left a few night shift firefighters to keep the fire under control for the night.

The next morning the winds kicked up. 50 lives and 3000 houses were lost in the space of about 8 hours. I was living in one of those houses. My dog and I got out with not much time to spare.

Fark the Oakland city leaders. Fark 'em hard.

You're a farking moron.

California firefighters from all over the state fought that fire. The hills were as dry as a bone and you had winds over sixty miles an house driving the fire from house to house. The oakland fire department being forced to rest eight hours out of twenty-four when they spent the other sixteen fighting a monster wildfire wasn't why you and your dog had to flee your burning home.

My father fought that fire and he lives four hours from the bay area.


Wrongo, marylou.

Yes, firefighters from all over CA fought the fire. Yes, they busted their asses. I didn't say anything about the firefighters not working hard and being heroes as usual.

But the REASON the fire got out of control was that the Oakland FD was on a restricted budget due to the council. My roommate's dad was a farking former council member and had the inside scoop from the current (at the time) council members.

The Oakland FD asked for overtime approval to put out the relatively small fire, and the council told them "no".

So yes, everyone and their farking dog was called in the next morning to fight the fire, which could have been put out the previous evening fairly easily.

No one was insulting your father's firefighting abilities. I'm sure he's a great man. It was politicians who caused that disaster, not firefighters. Read it again and lighten up, Francis.

/politicians also demanded most of the firefighting activity e centered around saving the historic Clairemont Hotel.
//hopefully they let firefighting experts determine this sort of thing nowadays.
///FEMA did a bang-up job back in those days, BTW.

 
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