Are they sure it wasn't Paula Abdul?

Well, you combine alcohol with whatever drugs an alien life form needs to survive on Earth, and you'd be stumbling too.

Ha, he almost drunk dialed Paul McCartney by the sound of it. Also, his nose looks like someone literally stuck a little pole in there, like a tent.

More like his face is off him.

I hope he does well. He made some great music. The train wreck has gone on for too long.

His face looks even worse than it did when he took off for Bulgaria or whatever it was... what the hell?

The poor bastard.

Thank Gawd they kept him away from the daycare centres.

He could retire if he had some money.

I am really curious to see how his kids turn out when they hit the teenage years.

Catran: I am really curious to see how his kids turn out when they hit the teenage years.

I'm sure he would have already traded them in for a younger model long before that

I doubt a paranoid asshole like him drinks.

More likely too many 'prescription' drugs.

Wacko Jacko Blotto.

FTFA: Staff thought the melty-faced star looked off his face as he lurched around the Lanesborough Hotel near Hyde Park in the early hours of Wednesday.

That made me LOL. There's nothing quite like Brit snark.

So where's the video then of him stumbling around the lobby drunk? With the hordes of paps filming his every move while in London, surely they wouldn't have missed such a grand opportunity to film something of this caliber? Oh wait, it's News of the World.

Can we get a sniper rifle aimed on this guy, please?

Not impressed.

i'd be more than a little pissed if my £7,500-a-night-room didn't come with the staff's ability to keep their damn yaps shut when i got tanked and acted like an arse at 3:00 am.
so much for that hotel's reputation with the upper crust clientele .

Yeah, if you believe Jackson did this on his own, you're crazy.

Sounds like something a publicist concocted.

Seems to <i>me</i> he's still a Jehovah's Witness and therefore
probably wasn't drinking.

He was on crack.

Michael's gotta lay off the Jesus Juice.

SSChicken: So where's the video then of him stumbling around the lobby drunk? With the hordes of paps filming his every move while in London, surely they wouldn't have missed such a grand opportunity to film something of this caliber? Oh wait, it's News of the World.

I know he's insane and a pedo and all that, but I have never heard of any reports of him drinking or doing drugs. Think about it--never, his whole life. So he just started now?

this is what normal people do. so i'm calling shenanigans

[These are transcripts of a call monitored by AGENT BLACK from MICHAEL JACKSON to an unknown person with the first name of "Paul".]

MICHAEL: Paul, Paul, how are you! It's Michael!
PAUL: Mzuh? Whuh? What time is it? Who is this?
MICHAEL: It's me! Michael!
PAUL: Michael? Michael who? Is this Ricky? Are you drunk, man? It's...Jesus H. farking Christ, it's two in the farking morning!
MICHAEL: No, it's not Ricky, silly! It's Michael! Michael Jackson, sweetie!
PAUL: (Silence)
MICHAEL: Hello?
PAUL: Um...yeah. It's pretty late to be calling, dude. And you sound kind of out of it. Have you been drinking?
MICHAEL: Oh, just a few Harvey Wallbangers! (MICHAEL giggles.) Wallbangers. Isn't that the funniest name for a drink you ever heard? Wallbangers. In fact I have a wallbanger next to me in this hotel. (MICHAEL's voice cracks, as if he wants to cry.) This wallbanger said I was being too loud. You should have heard what he called me.
PAUL: Yeah. Yeah. Well, anyway. Do you want something? Like I said, it's kind of late....
MICHAEL: (Sobbing) You're my only friend, Paul. My only friend.
PAUL: I've only met you like twice, Mike.
MICHAEL: Call me Michael, Paulie.
PAUL: It's Paul.
MICHAEL: I just wanted to say I love you, Paulie. I love you! You're the only one who understands how hard it is... (MICHAEL is crying openly now. I think I'm gonna barf. I can't believe I gave up Hostage Rescue for this shiat.)
PAUL: Uh...yeah. You probably ought to get some sleep, Mike...Michael. And lay off the booze.
MICHAEL: Wallbangers. (WTF is it with this guy and wallbangers? Jesus fark, someone kill me now.)
PAUL: Yeah, wallbangers. Whatever. Just head to bed and get some sleep. We all need sleep, you know? I sure do, which brings me to my next point....
MICHAEL: (Still weeping. What a farking Martian this guy is.) I love you, Paulie! You and Liz. Well, maybe Liz a little more than you, but I still love you--
PAUL: (Interrupting) You're kind of freaking me out now, Michael. I'm hanging up. Gimme a call later in the month and we'll catch up. (Hangs up, and thank God I don't have to listen to this shiat anymore. I'm applying for a transfer to the Des Moines office tomorrow; let someone else deal with this shiat. I'm outta here.)