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(NW Florida Daily News) Florida Woman calls sheriff to report robbery over costly colon-cleansing capsules. Authorities admit her suppository was sad, but in the end, waste of time   (nwfdailynews.com) divider line 39
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3243 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Mar 2009 at 4:07 AM   |  Make this a Fark FavoriteFavorite    |   share: Share on OMGTWITTER WEB2.0share on StumbleUponshare on Facebook  more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!

39 Comments   (+0 »)


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thalassatx [TotalFark] 2009-03-08 01:48:01 AM  
Is it just me, or does that article make no sense?

 
holiday_inn_in_cambodia 2009-03-08 04:12:58 AM  
wat

 
Vio 2009-03-08 04:13:03 AM  
thalassatx: Is it just me, or does that article make no sense?

It's beyond me why she ever called the cops to begin with.

 
Tenpins 2009-03-08 04:14:17 AM  
WTF????

 
jdamaral 2009-03-08 04:14:42 AM  
api.ning.com

 
holiday_inn_in_cambodia 2009-03-08 04:15:17 AM  
I think subby is a pretty cool guy. He farks up headlines and doesn't afraid of anything.

 
Calcartman [TotalFark] 2009-03-08 04:16:12 AM  
am I the only one who read the headline, and thought "Man, he really needs to add '.... sphincter' to the end of that?

 
Tenpins 2009-03-08 04:17:31 AM  
Calcartman: am I the only one who read the headline, and thought "Man, he really needs to add '.... sphincter' to the end of that?

That would work in the end.

 
moothemagiccow 2009-03-08 04:18:34 AM  
Vio: thalassatx: Is it just me, or does that article make no sense?

It's beyond me why she ever called the cops to begin with.


It's beyond me why she bought Snake Oil.

 
SoxSweepAgain 2009-03-08 04:27:04 AM  
Trick question, answer "Sideways"?

/Just asking the subby

 
veale728 [TotalFark] 2009-03-08 04:31:42 AM  
"I'll clean my colon right now!" *braaap*

 
overlord 2009-03-08 04:47:36 AM  
Cops cannot completely check costly colon-cleansing capsule complaint 'cause company can't cancel credit card charges.

 
Tejon 2009-03-08 04:57:16 AM  
She might be trying to pull a scam, but the pill manufacturers are.

 
Pope George Ringo [TotalFark] 2009-03-08 05:13:02 AM  
What she try to do, bankrupt AM radio?

Some experts say 20 pounds sheet stuck to you guts, who want that?

 
Britney Spear's Speculum 2009-03-08 05:16:28 AM  
FTFA: The local bank allowed the woman to dispute the charges and the $89.31 bill but told her to get a report from the Sheriff's Office.

The bank told her to do it. Nowhere in TFA does it say she called 911 on her own accord. Maybe they can reverse the charges if it's deemed fraud or something.

 
Dirty Hot Linker 2009-03-08 05:24:09 AM  
overlord: Cops cannot completely check costly colon-cleansing capsule complaint 'cause company can't cancel credit card charges.

Credit card company clearly cannot compensate. Completely covering colon-cleansing cost clouts criminal conspiracy. Concur?

 
Britney Spear's Speculum 2009-03-08 05:25:04 AM  
Dirty Hot Linker: overlord: Cops cannot completely check costly colon-cleansing capsule complaint 'cause company can't cancel credit card charges.

Credit card company clearly cannot compensate. Completely covering colon-cleansing cost clouts criminal conspiracy. Concur?


Christ!

 
Jamieboy 2009-03-08 05:27:21 AM  
Anyone who deals with GNC deserves exactly what they get. At least she didn't try their amazing blood cleansing mix to pass a drug test. I know a few people who effed themselves but good using that stuff (urinary tract/bladder/kidney problems), and for nothing, as it does not work. It just makes your urine acidic, which will flag a retest. I can't believe they still sell that worthless, dangerous garbage.

btw, otc colon cleansing tablets are also extremely dangerous and should be avoided. I don't have personal experience, but I know a woman who nearly killed herself using that crap - no pun intended. If you want or need your colon cleansed, go to a professional.

 
Wii.Tard 2009-03-08 05:33:21 AM  
Dirty Hot Linker: overlord: Cops cannot completely check costly colon-cleansing capsule complaint 'cause company can't cancel credit card charges.

Credit card company clearly cannot compensate. Completely covering colon-cleansing cost clouts criminal conspiracy. Concur?


Comrades, colon-capsule criminal conspiracy costs copious credit-card customers cash. Cops cannot check criminal complaint cause. Capiche?

 
tuxedobob 2009-03-08 05:47:03 AM  
The Panama City woman ordered the pills from GNC Inc., but after they arrived she discovered the company planned to charge her an additional $89.31 unless she canceled the order, according to a Bay County Sheriff's Office incident report.

How does that work?

 
Vern the Worm 2009-03-08 05:50:58 AM  
I need an enema after that story.

 
brynaldo 2009-03-08 07:07:08 AM  
Ah, the things we used to get by without.

 
NCP69 2009-03-08 07:20:14 AM  
Vern the Worm: I need an enema to pee out of rear after that story.

ftfy

 
Mr. Potatoass 2009-03-08 07:43:01 AM  
januarys.files.wordpress.com

Dual Action Cleanse infomercial guy approves.

 
Nick Nostril 2009-03-08 07:48:55 AM  
Who needs pills?

img11.imageshack.us

 
Treetop1000 2009-03-08 08:17:02 AM  
overlord: Cops cannot completely check costly colon-cleansing capsule complaint 'cause company can't cancel credit card charges.

WINNAR!

please accept my heartfelt apology.
I know how hard you Daily Mail guys try.

 
miller007 2009-03-08 08:34:55 AM  
Why would you spend money on buying pills that make you crap yourself, isn't that what laxetives are for? How about some prune juice? I don't know, people buy some retarded things

 
Day_Old_Dutchie 2009-03-08 08:55:48 AM  
Pope George Ringo: What she try to do, bankrupt AM radio?

Some experts say 20 pounds sheet stuck to you guts, who want that?


Colon cleansing is nothing but a scam.

Link (new window)

We hear those radio spots here in Ontario all the time and it is obviously 100% pure quackery but for some reason these scammers never get nailed for false advertising.

 
I_Can't_Believe_it's_not_Boutros 2009-03-08 08:57:42 AM  
Calcartman: am I the only one who read the headline, and thought "Man, he really needs to add '.... sphincter' to the end of that?

He was trying to avoid any innuendo.

 
Madbassist1 [TotalFark] 2009-03-08 09:10:18 AM  
MUCH CHEAPER

www.nmafaculty.org

 
thelordofcheese 2009-03-08 09:16:53 AM  
I hear anal will loosen you up.

 
Nakito 2009-03-08 10:33:13 AM  
Somebody dung her wrong.

 
digitalrain 2009-03-08 10:34:15 AM  
Wii.Tard: Dirty Hot Linker: overlord: Cops cannot completely check costly colon-cleansing capsule complaint 'cause company can't cancel credit card charges.

Credit card company clearly cannot compensate. Completely covering colon-cleansing cost clouts criminal conspiracy. Concur?

Comrades, colon-capsule criminal conspiracy costs copious credit-card customers cash. Cops cannot check criminal complaint cause. Capiche?


Criminey!

 
Gunz_drawn 2009-03-08 11:56:51 AM  
Whats wrong with that?

 
Airius 2009-03-08 01:23:44 PM  
The colon cleansing stuff creates the problem it claims to solve. If you aren't taking 3 craps a day... just eat more raw veggies. That will pretty much do the trick. Simple, eh?

 
Brakefornobody 2009-03-08 01:39:23 PM  
digitalrain: Wii.Tard: Dirty Hot Linker: overlord: Cops cannot completely check costly colon-cleansing capsule complaint 'cause company can't cancel credit card charges.

Credit card company clearly cannot compensate. Completely covering colon-cleansing cost clouts criminal conspiracy. Concur?

Comrades, colon-capsule criminal conspiracy costs copious credit-card customers cash. Cops cannot check criminal complaint cause. Capiche?

Criminey!


If I ever catch up with kleptomaniac Claude Cooper from Cleveland --

Yes?

I'll clobber him.

 
twfeline 2009-03-08 02:35:01 PM  
Only imbiciles believe in those "colon clense" products.

Wake up, people! The reason you sh*t some weird stuff, is because the supplements/capsules put weird stuff into your body.

You spoon some clay into orange juice and drink it up. Subsequently, clay comes out your pooper, wrapped in the mucus that your body produces to try to get it to slide through your system. You're lucky that the clay doesn't get impacted in your intestines and you get necrosis. That happend to a friend, and he had much of his bowel surgically removed.

"What goes in, must come out." Teslacle's Deviant to Fudd's Law. Firesign Theater.

 
martid4 [TotalFark] 2009-03-08 04:28:24 PM  
I cleaned my colon once, had to call hazmat.

 
normalclose 2009-03-09 03:33:21 PM  
i42.tinypic.com

/Don't need none of those.

 
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