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(Some Guy) Sick Mall security guard tells two female shoplifters he won't call the cops if he can take pictures of their nude breasts and semi-clothed groin/buttocks areas   (theolympian.com) divider line 93
More: Sick  
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93 Comments   (+0 »)


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SomewhatBent 2009-03-07 01:34:15 AM  
lessee...

Shoplifting = misdemeanor
Sexual Assault = felony

Assault to include '...threat or coercion sufficient that victim is fearful for health, safety or welfare or in fear of imminent harm...'

Informing jailmates of his stupidity = priceless

 
Skail [TotalFark] 2009-03-07 06:44:01 AM  
Meh. An even trade, if they were attractive.

 
Tui 2009-03-07 07:26:36 AM  
That Paul Blart is one smooth operator...

 
hurdygurdy27 2009-03-07 07:29:20 AM  
I'll be back.

 
globalwarmingpraiser [TotalFark] 2009-03-07 07:30:07 AM  
Were they teenagers?

 
IAAl 2009-03-07 07:30:24 AM  
Sick? What, were they ugly?

 
disgustip8ed 2009-03-07 07:31:04 AM  
Why not the hero tag?

 
ronaprhys 2009-03-07 07:31:07 AM  
Goddammit - unless we can see the pics, we can make no judgment as to this guys innocence or guilt.

 
globalwarmingpraiser [TotalFark] 2009-03-07 07:31:38 AM  
Reads article, yep. Hang the bastard.

 
crak_rabbit 2009-03-07 07:33:48 AM  
img1.fark.net

Yo subby...

stuffbyronlikes.com

 
PerilousApricot 2009-03-07 07:33:48 AM  
This thread is worthless without pics.

 
windbag 2009-03-07 07:34:43 AM  
This guy has spent too many lonely hours in the security closet reading Penthouse Forum stories.

 
kling_klang_bed 2009-03-07 07:34:56 AM  
The only suitable punishment for shoplifting is nudity.

 
deadapostle [TotalFark] 2009-03-07 07:35:13 AM  
He'll probably get off with a slap of his wrist.

 
Raw_fishFood 2009-03-07 07:37:25 AM  
So, were they hot?

 
thelordofcheese 2009-03-07 07:40:09 AM  
Raw_fishFood: So, were they hot?

THIS bares repeating.

 
crab66 2009-03-07 07:42:45 AM  
disgustip8ed: Why not the hero tag?


This

 
This space intentionaly left blank 2009-03-07 07:43:54 AM  
PerilousApricot: This thread is worthless without pics.

That's what I'm sayin'!

 
globalwarmingpraiser [TotalFark] 2009-03-07 07:46:39 AM  
disgustip8ed: Why not the hero tag?

crab66: disgustip8ed: Why not the hero tag?


This


You two are sick bastards.



I should know we can smell our own.


So I send you this as tribute.



Probably NSFW (new window)

 
GungFu 2009-03-07 07:48:49 AM  
www.bartos.de

 
Loucifer 2009-03-07 07:49:20 AM  
The pervert security guy should go to prison and the shoplifter girls she be spanked.

 
rubi_con_man 2009-03-07 07:55:09 AM  
That's stupid. He should have simply demanded oral sex.

Trust me, being forced to suck on some big hairy strange man's dick because you wanted to steal a pair of panties helps to curb that habit REALLY quick.

 
crab66 2009-03-07 07:56:28 AM  
rubi_con_man: That's stupid. He should have simply demanded oral sex.

Trust me, being forced to suck on some big hairy strange man's dick because you wanted to steal a pair of panties helps to curb that habit REALLY quick.



Personal experience?

 
Bring-out-your-dead 2009-03-07 07:57:17 AM  
rubi_con_man: That's stupid. He should have simply demanded oral sex.

Trust me, being forced to suck on some big hairy strange man's dick because you wanted to steal a pair of panties helps to curb that habit REALLY quick.


been there, done that??

 
doglover [TotalFark] 2009-03-07 07:59:48 AM  
Sexual assault laws have gotten out of hand when strange perverts can't offer people who find themselves caught in the gears of society bizzare sexual requests in exchange for goods and services.

Oh wait, that's why we wrote them in the first place.

 
Firedust 2009-03-07 08:01:22 AM  
Why the sick tag? Did a farkette submit?

 
Green Scorpio 2009-03-07 08:04:06 AM  
doglover: Sexual assault laws have gotten out of hand when strange perverts can't offer people who find themselves caught in the gears of society bizzare sexual requests in exchange for goods and services.

Oh wait, that's why we wrote them in the first place.


Cops get blown all the time to let some drunk chick out of a DUI. This guy just wanted his slice of the pie, but couldn't finish the academy.

 
walnuts55 [TotalFark] 2009-03-07 08:04:22 AM  
I think this guy had a great Idea.
Saves tax payers money.
Does not tie up the cops time.
The girls will think twice before stealing at that mall again,
And if the pic ever get put on the net WE win to ( only if there Hot that is)

 
Control_this [TotalFark] 2009-03-07 08:04:59 AM  
Pictures?

Pictures?

Oh, if only there were some place I could find pictures of nude breasts and butts. Then I wouldn't have to risk my job here at the mall.

 
ihatedumbpeople 2009-03-07 08:05:38 AM  
Nice. that job has to suck, I'd consider that a 'perk'. wonder how many girls have taken them up on the offer before this time?

 
MythDragon 2009-03-07 08:08:39 AM  
It's not like te guy forced them to do it. They certianly had an option.

Sounds like a fair trade to me.

 
Crakerasscracker [TotalFark] 2009-03-07 08:15:06 AM  
Everyone involved, including the shoplifters, is a dumbass.

 
ThatGuyOverThere 2009-03-07 08:20:52 AM  
Hey, I think I saw this movie...

For real though... if the stores prosecuted and they ended up in jail, they might have found out that having a few noodz would have been the wiser choice...

/sometimes confused for a pretty boy
//not very intimidating
///would have done the pics rather than go to lockup

 
Dangl1ng 2009-03-07 08:23:06 AM  
I don't know, feeling mixed about this.

A) The guys a total perv. But if young people know there are actual consequences then they'll actually be consequences, they'll really think twice about doing something. I think that if this was the 50's, the police might have gone over to Olivas place, and rattled his case about this (to make sure he didn't go any further than a few pics. And these girls would have never ever done something like this again. Probably would have prevented their friends from doing something similar.

B) This is probably the first step in a gradual decline in this guys behavior. First he's taking pictures, next he's demanding oral, by the end of it he's dumping bodies in rivers. It's probably better that he was caught at this point.

Oh, and where are the naughty pics in question? I need to puruse them in my mastibitorium.

 
Day_Old_Dutchie 2009-03-07 08:29:31 AM  
ThatGuyOverThere: Hey, I think I saw this movie...


BOW CHICK-A-WOW-WOW!

 
Contents of a Space Wasp's stomach 2009-03-07 08:36:03 AM  
The guy is a disgrace to his uniform and should receive the harshest penalty possible. Rent-a-Cop or real cop, if you are in a position where you are working securiy you should be hung from the rafters for even the smallest offenses. Only way to keep the people in power honest.

Now if only we could start hanging bankers and congressman from lamp posts..

Also, these chicks just won the American Lawsuit Lottery, no more shoplifitng for these two. Free J.C. Pennys for life!

 
eggi541 2009-03-07 08:38:26 AM  
Those 2 chicks are idots. They willingly took their clothes off for the pervert. If they had both been 18 or older the only crime would have been two shoplifters trading nudy shots to get out of jail. The 2 chicks probably went home, told mommy and then decided that they were mistreated. I bet the security giard could claim he was about to call in the real cops yet they started getting undressed and made him a deal he could not refuse. Although since he is claimed to be married, his wife prolly kicked his greasy tail to the couch that night.

For the rent a cop having been a former member of law enforcement shows a possible reason why he is a former cop. He needs to learn the difference between legal chicks and jail bait.

 
krysbabe [TotalFark] 2009-03-07 08:48:36 AM  
Eh... I once had a doctor ask if he could check the temperature of my breasts..

 
No Such Agency 2009-03-07 08:51:58 AM  
Dangl1ng: A) The guys a total perv. But if young people know there are actual consequences then they'll actually be consequences, they'll really think twice about doing something. I think that if this was the 50's, the police might have gone over to Olivas place, and rattled his case about this (to make sure he didn't go any further than a few pics. And these girls would have never ever done something like this again. Probably would have prevented their friends from doing something similar.

B) This is probably the first step in a gradual decline in this guys behavior. First he's taking pictures, next he's demanding oral, by the end of it he's dumping bodies in rivers. It's probably better that he was caught at this point.


It is win-win... sort of. But shoplifting is practically a teenage rite of passage, it's not like these girls were hardened criminals. The "lesson" was a little too traumatic, to say the least.

And yes, it's a good thing this guy was nailed early. This incident shows he is a sexual predator, even if his predation this time wasn't a violent rape. He is inclined to use power and coercion for his own gratification, which is a very bad thing.

 
Molavian 2009-03-07 08:54:17 AM  
krysbabe: Eh... I once had a doctor ask if he could check the temperature of my breasts..

That's how you test blood flow in breast tissue. He probably looked at them and physically manipulated them, too.

 
Joce678 2009-03-07 08:57:32 AM  
Dumbass. He should have used the "they offered to show me their tits if I let them go" defense.

 
Contents of a Space Wasp's stomach 2009-03-07 08:57:47 AM  
krysbabe: Eh... I once had a doctor ask if he could check the temperature of my breasts..

I checked your Myspace and it appears he may have made the right decision. I am available for consultation and a second opinion if necessary on your "breast temprature" problem.

I am fully trained to do a complete exam. He may have gone to the same Van in the Parking lot Medical school that I attended. That's "V.I.P. Medical", excellent curriculum and only cost me 2 hours and $6,000.

 
Vern 2009-03-07 08:58:58 AM  
Ah mall cops and security guards, the bastion professions of G.E.D. earners. They couldn't get into to the real police force or armed services, so they spend their time pretending they have power. The most they can do is ban you from the building, and even that has no legal grounds. All they can do is harass you until you leave. Or make you take your clothes off so they won't call the real cops. It doesn't matter that they were shoplifting, making them expose themselves to avoid a minor shoplifting punishment is a criminal offense, you're using your pretend power to get something to jerk off to. If he was a decent mall cop he would've either let them go with a warning, or called the real cops and they would've given them a 200 dollar fine, as such he just ruined his life and will be labeled a pervert, and hopefully loose his wife and child.

 
krysbabe [TotalFark] 2009-03-07 09:01:21 AM  
Molavian: krysbabe: Eh... I once had a doctor ask if he could check the temperature of my breasts..

That's how you test blood flow in breast tissue. He probably looked at them and physically manipulated them, too.



no he just grabbed and cupped them for a minute..


Contents of a Space Wasp's stomach: krysbabe: Eh... I once had a doctor ask if he could check the temperature of my breasts..

I checked your Myspace and it appears he may have made the right decision. I am available for consultation and a second opinion if necessary on your "breast temprature" problem.

I am fully trained to do a complete exam. He may have gone to the same Van in the Parking lot Medical school that I attended. That's "V.I.P. Medical", excellent curriculum and only cost me 2 hours and $6,000.


actually you'd have to pay me more :P

 
clancifer [TotalFark] 2009-03-07 09:02:29 AM  
krysbabe: Eh... I once had a doctor ask if he could check the temperature of my breasts..

That's "hot".

 
Contents of a Space Wasp's stomach 2009-03-07 09:12:42 AM  
krysbabe: Molavian: krysbabe: Eh... I once had a doctor ask if he could check the temperature of my breasts..

That's how you test blood flow in breast tissue. He probably looked at them and physically manipulated them, too.


no he just grabbed and cupped them for a minute..


Contents of a Space Wasp's stomach: krysbabe: Eh... I once had a doctor ask if he could check the temperature of my breasts..

I checked your Myspace and it appears he may have made the right decision. I am available for consultation and a second opinion if necessary on your "breast temprature" problem.

I am fully trained to do a complete exam. He may have gone to the same Van in the Parking lot Medical school that I attended. That's "V.I.P. Medical", excellent curriculum and only cost me 2 hours and $6,000.

actually you'd have to pay me more :P


You've just made my morning for more than one reason :)

 
krysbabe [TotalFark] 2009-03-07 09:17:59 AM  
Contents of a Space Wasp's stomach:

You've just made my morning for more than one reason :)


:P

 
good0179 2009-03-07 09:32:13 AM  
Wasn't there a scene like this in Bad Lieutenant?

(searches YouTube)

Why yes, there was!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSvdkjjlhwg

 
Scorched Colon 2009-03-07 09:34:25 AM  
Vern

The most they can do is ban you from the building, and even that has no legal grounds.

That depends on what the laws are where you live. They are acting on behalf of the company that owns the mall, if they tell you to leave and not come back it is possible you can be arrested for trespassing if you return.


All they can do is harass you until you leave. Or make you take your clothes off so they won't call the real cops. It doesn't matter that they were shoplifting, making them expose themselves to avoid a minor shoplifting punishment is a criminal offense, you're using your pretend power to get something to jerk off to.


You are assuming that the girls are not lying to cause the guy problems.

Because everyone knows teenage girls never lie. /sarcasm

 
globalwarmingpraiser [TotalFark] 2009-03-07 09:39:44 AM  
Scorched Colon: Vern

The most they can do is ban you from the building, and even that has no legal grounds.

That depends on what the laws are where you live. They are acting on behalf of the company that owns the mall, if they tell you to leave and not come back it is possible you can be arrested for trespassing if you return.


All they can do is harass you until you leave. Or make you take your clothes off so they won't call the real cops. It doesn't matter that they were shoplifting, making them expose themselves to avoid a minor shoplifting punishment is a criminal offense, you're using your pretend power to get something to jerk off to.

You are assuming that the girls are not lying to cause the guy problems.

Because everyone knows teenage girls never lie. /sarcasm


Scorched Colon: Vern

The most they can do is ban you from the building, and even that has no legal grounds.

That depends on what the laws are where you live. They are acting on behalf of the company that owns the mall, if they tell you to leave and not come back it is possible you can be arrested for trespassing if you return.


All they can do is harass you until you leave. Or make you take your clothes off so they won't call the real cops. It doesn't matter that they were shoplifting, making them expose themselves to avoid a minor shoplifting punishment is a criminal offense, you're using your pretend power to get something to jerk off to.

You are assuming that the girls are not lying to cause the guy problems.

Because everyone knows teenage girls never lie. /sarcasm

He confessed, RTFA

 
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