Whenever I want to feel marginally better about the state of American culture, I read The Sun. Not so much this particular article, but as a general rule.

Hey, how do you think Hillary Clinton got elected?

Pff, not that way. If she did more of that, Bill wouldn't have been shopping around.

What a rude banana may look like.

How do you think Hillary Clinton got elected?

She had several female students do that?

Hi. My name is Congress. Have we met?

/giggity
//spending

Pics are SFW, unless you're a dentist.

So you're saying Obama was holding a banana? For shame.

Could we maybe get some NSFW pics? Oh, and please, no Hillary.

My god, that chick has horrible teeth

Electriclectic: unless you're a dentist.

Yeah, I just RTFA. Don't really need to see any more, but thanks.

/approves

If someone is getting paid money to "write" an "article" like that one, then I am in the wrong business.

Since when is some drunk freshman giving out BJs at a frat party news of any sort, even for a tabloid? The Sun is basically The Onion without punchlines to the jokes.


"Rachel Cummings". I giggled a little bit.

Hey, how do you think Hillary Clinton got elected?

Not sure which took less effort: writing that headline or green-lighting it.

I realize that I risk losing "man points" for admitting this, but I'd find that remarkably unattractive. I don't find drunken whores alluring.

WFern: I realize that I risk losing "man points" for admitting this, but I'd find that remarkably unattractive. I don't find drunken whores alluring.

Count me into that group.

Umm, I realize that OED might not define "banana eating contest" but urban dictionary does. Hint: there isn't any actual fruit involved.

This was the PG version.

Apparently, you guys haven't met the right drunken whores, or you have not been drunk enough.

I am working on it, and, after a few more shots will let you know if she starts looking better...

As a girl who is not a drunken whore, but is apparently surrounded by them in college, I'm getting some schadenfreude out of these replies.

And I cracked up when I saw the banana picture. "Tbis article is still retarded! What do we do?" "Dammit... add a banana!" "Problem solved!"

overlord

It seems that the guy she's practicing on, is standing on his head.

Semi-serious: why do I always hear about "blowjob" contests but none involving muff diving? It seems the women don't get anything great in return.

So, if that's the way we are voting now, shouldn't we be calling ourselves a Banana Republic?

WFern: Semi-serious: why do I always hear about "blowjob" contests but none involving muff diving? It seems the women don't get anything great in return.

Send pics, and meet us in the alley at 1AM...Bring a friend if you lick like.

Is anyone else wondering why this is in the politics tab too? I mean, just because it says Hillary Clinton doesn't mean it's a political article...

WFern: Semi-serious: why do I always hear about "blowjob" contests but none involving muff diving? It seems the women don't get anything great in return.

I think on average girls are less excited than guys are about lining up half-naked and watching a stranger perform oral on five others before making his way to her...

SHOCKING!

They should all wear burkas and have no rights.

The Taliban has it right.

Awesome, girls like Penises. I have one of those!

whyarefartslumpy: Could we maybe get some NSFW pics? Oh, and please, no Hillary.



Electriclectic: Pics are SFW, unless you're a dentist.

I am shocked at the manner in which modern, enlightened womyn on university campuses are debased by the male, hetero oligarchy of oppressive sexism and a council of committees should be...

wait, never mind.

I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that Hillary probably hasn't sucked too many dicks.

WFern: I don't find drunken whores alluring.

EdwardBlake: Count me into that group.

You consider yourself a drunken whore, EdwardBlake? Or are you just saying that to keep WFern from hitting on you?

Begoggle: SHOCKING!

They should all wear burkas and have no rights.

The Taliban has it right.

Current president tells those vying for her position they have to win a pseudo-oral competition to get it and you're upset the university is condemning it?

It's one thing to say girls aren't allowed to do what they want, it's another to step in and say a university position can't be given away by degrading girls in front of hundreds of spectators.

kellynoel: I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that Hillary probably hasn't sucked too many dicks.

I'm going to go even further out on a limb and say that she's probably bitten a couple off... and strapped a couple on.

farkin_Gary: I'm going to go even further out on a limb and say that she's probably bitten a couple off... and strapped a couple on.

hawt.

Pwndoggle: whyarefartslumpy: Could we maybe get some NSFW pics? Oh, and please, no Hillary.



Electriclectic: Pics are SFW, unless you're a dentist.

I'm not liking you too much right now. Thanks for the sober-up pic that nobody needed. You are truly a penis-wrinkle beetle farker who deserves to die in the hellfire of damnation that only an enlarged photoshop of above pic's sandy, sweaty vag could hope to encompass. When we all wake up tomorrow with the image that you have provided still ingrained in our skulls, I hope you take solace in the fact that you have provided despair and abstinance in our hearts that only the Mormons (or Jimmy Carter) could hope to obtain.

Votes went to the one with the most sex appeal!

/splits.

WFern: Semi-serious: why do I always hear about "blowjob" contests but none involving muff diving? It seems the women don't get anything great in return.

That's because, "whistling through the wheat-fields", = Latent Gay Boyfriend/Husband.

Unless it's your birthday of course.

olderbudnoweiser: /splits.

Winner!

"spits" would have come in a close second, though.

So, this event happened at Keble college, probably in the JCR or equivalent. My question is this: who exactly has access to Keble college JCR and would write this article?

There are three basic suspects:

1. a townie staff member working the bar or whatever hoping to make a few extra bucks. this is unlikely, since they would't be able to take photos without being noticed, most likely nor would they know the students' names.

2. an uncharacteristically financially poor student who really needs that GBP 100 or so that the sun throws his way for this. also unlikely, since, well, there are few if any oxbridge students who really need the money that bad. not that they're necessarily as rich as the stereotypes suggest, but just nobody's really that hard up for the small amount of money involved here.

3. a student who doesn't need the money, but for some other reason (fun? moral revulsion? jeebus?) feels the need to contact the Sun about this. Part of me thinks it's the irony and fun of getting themselves in the Sun, but, well, I doubt they'd do this while exposing the perpetrators' identities as they have. If they did, then it was poorly played.


ah Keeble - branded in the article as "posh" but by Oxbridge standards it's a bit of a factory. It's not a bad college - in my opinion there are a fair number of parallels to Caius at Cambridge, I think, but there are certainly much more posh ones.

whyarefartslumpy: I'm not liking you too much right now. Thanks for the sober-up pic that nobody needed. You are truly a penis-wrinkle beetle farker who deserves to die in the hellfire of damnation that only an enlarged photoshop of above pic's sandy, sweaty vag could hope to encompass. When we all wake up tomorrow with the image that you have provided still ingrained in our skulls, I hope you take solace in the fact that you have provided despair and abstinance in our hearts that only the Mormons (or Jimmy Carter) could hope to obtain.

This is one of the most wonderfully poetic things I've ever seen!

Dental care standards are certainly different in the UK. A couple of those have gone off bone to brown. Imagine what they will look like in another 10-20 years.

tzzhc4: Dental care standards are certainly different in the UK. A couple of those have gone off bone to brown. Imagine what they will look like in another 10-20 years.

Duct tape?

refrigeratorelf: whyarefartslumpy: I'm not liking you too much right now. Thanks for the sober-up pic that nobody needed. You are truly a penis-wrinkle beetle farker who deserves to die in the hellfire of damnation that only an enlarged photoshop of above pic's sandy, sweaty vag could hope to encompass. When we all wake up tomorrow with the image that you have provided still ingrained in our skulls, I hope you take solace in the fact that you have provided despair and abstinance in our hearts that only the Mormons (or Jimmy Carter) could hope to obtain.

This is one of the most wonderfully poetic things I've ever seen!

Your probably as hammered as I am right now, then. But thanks for the encouragement.

whyarefartslumpy: refrigeratorelf: whyarefartslumpy: I'm not liking you too much right now. Thanks for the sober-up pic that nobody needed. You are truly a penis-wrinkle beetle farker who deserves to die in the hellfire of damnation that only an enlarged photoshop of above pic's sandy, sweaty vag could hope to encompass. When we all wake up tomorrow with the image that you have provided still ingrained in our skulls, I hope you take solace in the fact that you have provided despair and abstinance in our hearts that only the Mormons (or Jimmy Carter) could hope to obtain.

This is one of the most wonderfully poetic things I've ever seen!

Your probably as hammered as I am right now, then. But thanks for the encouragement.

Unfortunately, I'm completely sober. But I love that and hope it makes its way into copypasta hall of fame :)

TomD9938: That's because, "whistling through the wheat-fields", = Latent Gay Boyfriend/Husband...

LOL WUT

refrigeratorelf: Unfortunately, I'm completely sober. But I love that and hope it makes its way into copypasta hall of fame :)

One can only hope. I came here to argue with people over conservatism vs liberalism, and Obama, and Socialism, and Hillary's vag, and banana eating contests, and the way we vote. It didn't happen, but I think we are all leaving here better people, none the less.

I keep trying to leave Fark, but sometimes Fark leave you.

whyarefartslumpy:
I'm not liking you too much right now. Thanks for the sober-up pic that nobody needed. You are truly a penis-wrinkle beetle farker who deserves to die in the hellfire of damnation that only an enlarged photoshop of above pic's sandy, sweaty vag could hope to encompass. When we all wake up tomorrow with the image that you have provided still ingrained in our skulls, I hope you take solace in the fact that you have provided despair and abstinance in our hearts that only the Mormons (or Jimmy Carter) could hope to obtain.

You're welcome?

Female university students eat bananas held between male students' legs to win votes for student council.

Female university students Kirk Cameron eats bananas held between male students'Ray Comfort's legs to win votes for student council intelligent design argument.

Well... it would have been more entertaining.

WFern: Semi-serious: why do I always hear about "blowjob" contests but none involving muff diving? It seems the women don't get anything great in return.

I have witnessed cookie-eating contests.