I have an alibi for all those girls.
I swear.

Why not teach abstinence only economics?

"You are too young to deal with taxes and get a credit card so let's learn about percentages when you are older and preferably married."

12 years?

The gifts she recently received at her baby shower have done little to calm her anxiety, because she doesn't think she's ready.

Wow, she's actually realized that a diaper genie and some cute onsies aren't enough to support a child for 18 years?

I truly think that puts her above most other pregnant teenagers who are excited about the gifts they get.

Wow. Telling swarms of hormone-laden teens to "Just say no" hasn't reduced teen pregnancy? HASN'T you say???

Shocked am I.

Lionel Mandrake: Wow. Telling swarms of hormone-laden teens to "Just say no" hasn't reduced teen pregnancy? HASN'T you say???

Shocked am I.

But it worked so well with drugs!

It bears repeating like she bore her child to term:

"Everyone should be abstinent or whatever, but it's not realistic at all," Bristol Palin said.

Lionel Mandrake: Wow. Telling swarms of hormone-laden teens to "Just say no" hasn't reduced teen pregnancy? HASN'T you say???

Shocked am I.

Hah, I hadn't thought of it that way -- that's what A.O.Ed really is, though, isn't it? Except teens don't have biochemistry which tells them to take as many drugs as they can whenever possible.

Some teens have a lot of self-control, or maybe religious/moral/personal convictions. For others the opportunity never comes up. Sex-ed should be designed for the rest of the population -- the majority.

Just remember boys and girls:

BIRTH CONTROL IS EVIL. Avoid it or you will go to Hell.

Thank you

The Management

But abstinence educators say not so fast. They believe teaching about contraceptives sends a mixed message.


bwhahahahahahah bhwhahahahahahahaha
cause we KNOW that kids wont have sex if we dont talk about it

bhwhahahahahahahahahahha

/tired of these prudes

This is why I'm putting my daughter on the pill as soon as she's old enough. Let's see, these days, that means when she's about eleven, right?

When I lost my virginity our clever plan to avoid teen pregnancy was "stick it in her pooper." We didn't think our clever plan all the way through. Luckily lube and condoms were soon discovered, and there was much rejoicing.

So teens are doing it even when we tell them not too!? Man, that never happens.

noneyourbase: Lionel Mandrake: Wow. Telling swarms of hormone-laden teens to "Just say no" hasn't reduced teen pregnancy? HASN'T you say???

Shocked am I.

Hah, I hadn't thought of it that way -- that's what A.O.Ed really is, though, isn't it? Except teens don't have biochemistry which tells them to take as many drugs as they can whenever possible.

Some teens have a lot of self-control, or maybe religious/moral/personal convictions. For others the opportunity never comes up. Sex-ed should be designed for the rest of the population -- the majority.

That said, teen pregnancy seems to be increasing across in several the western nations.

On an honestly-curious-slightly-related-note, I wonder if there's any correlation between the state of the economy and the number of births out of wedlock.

Duh.

Yet another failure of the Republican philosophy

Do the correlation != causation Nazis take Sunday off?

But, he said, "Sex education alone, no matter what type it is, is not the single answer to teen sexual behavior."

let's start with the following fact:
teens are going to have sex
period

so we can educate them about sex, pregnancy and stds
or we can let them get pregnant and sick

those are the facts
denying reality does not change reality
dont care what you THINK should happen
dont care what you WANT to happen

those are the facts
there are only 2 choices
reality and fantasy

I like that the states which are furthest from reality (abstinence is wonderful) are the states with the highest rates.

TADA

Surprise-o-meter: E [\............] F

Abstinence-only doesn't work. Tell a teenager not to do something, their automatic reaction is to go out and try it to find out why you think they shouldn't do it.
Bring them up knowing the correct way to do it and the consequences for being dumb, and they're more likely to be at least a little responsible.

I've said it every time one of these reports comes out, and I'll say it yet again: Willfully keeping your children ignorant of sex education will not stop them from having sex, and it will not stop your daughters from getting impregnated.

Why is this so farking difficult to understand? I've had it with these Bible-thumpers who preach "Abstinence Education Only" and then wonder why their teen kids end up having more unwanted babies than the more highly educated sect of America.

Lets get these out of the way

Douching with coke after sex...
Peeing immediately after sex
Grape jelly up your hoo-ha...
Having sex for the 1st time...
Being on top...
Pulling out...
Breastfeeding...
Being on your period...
Praying to gawd and jeebus...
Sex in any other position other than missionary...

Abstinence only education...


....will NOT prevent pregnancy

what did I miss?

terriblist: "Everyone should be abstinent or whatever, but it's not realistic at all," Bristol Palin said.

and forget about teaching teens, to well, know, form things, sentences and thoughts

whatever

F you libs you can NOT trick me into thinking abstinence doenst work. These libs are just using confusing tables and charts with linens and arrows to trick us into thikning abstinence doesnt work so they can get a leg up on Fing our daughters. That is NOT happening you will NOT bed MY daughter or touch her chest so keep your drawers on. I'm not going to take this lying down. My daughter uses a chastity belt as her armoire against these predators. Protect your daughters and yourshelves from these sickos who want to f our daughters anally. The ass is for shiatting stools not for your can of beans. If we let these libs take are daughters it will be the recline of western culture. How do you think the Ottoman Empire fell? And to any libs who wanna try to touch MY daughter be warned, I can bench 400 pounds and if you try it I will F you up.

yellowcalx

Allow me to be the first to slow clap that most excellent troll, good sir/madam/other [delete as appropriate]!

Well, you can't say they didn't tell them how to not get pregnant.

Sluts.

I feel no sympathy for teen parents. My neighbor's son got his girlfriend pregnant, he was 17, she was 15. Both retards. My old roommate got his girlfriend pregnant. He was 20, she was 17. Thought that the "pull out method" would work when they couldn't find condoms till the next day. Idiots. Great guy (though she just got out of rehab a year ago for meth), but I told him that was the stupidest thing he ever did. Went to drop out of college (Boston U) and then got married. Two years later, she likes some other guy and gets divorced. Last I heard he was trying to get custody of the kid and move.

If one of the parents doesn't like abortion, you should be more cautious than usual... meh.

Thanks right wingers, your idiotic philosophies have increased our expenses to keep these kids from suffering in a third world environment.

Social conservatism and fiscal responsibility are mutually exclusive.

Unless you define that as 'tell the people what to do' and 'tell them to go fark themselves when they need help,' which are consistent from the egotistical selfishness angle.

attackingpencil Quote 2009-03-01 04:31:50 PM
Lionel Mandrake: Wow. Telling swarms of hormone-laden teens to "Just say no" hasn't reduced teen pregnancy? HASN'T you say???

Shocked am I.

But it worked so well with drugs!

What? The drug thing didn't work either? But we, like, totally declared war on that.

Not that one race affects the rates of other races when it comes to teen girls , but hispanic girls are probably the ones that are causing the rate skyrocket.


/Hopeful the rate will drop across the board.

yellowcalx: F you libs you can NOT trick me into thinking abstinence doenst work. These libs are just using confusing tables and charts with linens and arrows to trick us into thikning abstinence doesnt work so they can get a leg up on Fing our daughters. That is NOT happening you will NOT bed MY daughter or touch her chest so keep your drawers on. I'm not going to take this lying down. My daughter uses a chastity belt as her armoire against these predators. Protect your daughters and yourshelves from these sickos who want to f our daughters anally. The ass is for shiatting stools not for your can of beans. If we let these libs take are daughters it will be the recline of western culture. How do you think the Ottoman Empire fell? And to any libs who wanna try to touch MY daughter be warned, I can bench 400 pounds and if you try it I will F you up.

8/10
Did I miss any?

Carmen Sauceda, a 17-year-old high school athlete from Dallas, once dreamed of attending college, but with a newborn baby girl, those dreams will have to take a backseat to motherhood.

Oh yes, I'm sure they totally have to. Heaven forbid she go to college NOW. She's tainted and must forever change nappies and weep for her ruined future.

Sheesh, people. We're in a recession. Everyone's going to college - it beats trying to find a job.

PizzaJedi81: yellowcalx

Allow me to be the first to slow clap that most excellent troll, good sir/madam/other [delete as appropriate]!

It makes up for the other trollerific abortions he tried to pass off as legit comments in previous threads.

yellowcalx: F you libs you can NOT trick me into thinking abstinence doenst work. These libs are just using confusing tables and charts with linens and arrows to trick us into thikning abstinence doesnt work so they can get a leg up on Fing our daughters. That is NOT happening you will NOT bed MY daughter or touch her chest so keep your drawers on. I'm not going to take this lying down. My daughter uses a chastity belt as her armoire against these predators. Protect your daughters and yourshelves from these sickos who want to f our daughters anally. The ass is for shiatting stools not for your can of beans. If we let these libs take are daughters it will be the recline of western culture. How do you think the Ottoman Empire fell? And to any libs who wanna try to touch MY daughter be warned, I can bench 400 pounds and if you try it I will F you up.

Sorry, bud, you blew your cover with the "Ottoman Empire" reference. You even spelled it right! Dude, you were doing so well until then.

No Such Agency: Everyone's going to college - it beats trying to find a job.

How do you pay for college without a job? And, in the teen's case, without daycare?

Everyone in unison: "Thank you Bible-thumpers..."

Seriously, between this and AIDS in Africa (anti-condom sentiment), Christianity is still ruining lives even in the 21st century.

This is like a good news/ bad news joke. Bad news is that despite whatevah program, kids are still gonna have sex. The good news is that there will be some young uns around to pay the national debt and our social security someday.

Someone should teach those two writers about verb tenses before they start pushing theories that would have to be based on a continued trend indicated by numbers they don't have yet. It would be equally responsible and valid to blame it on coverage of Britney Spears' pregnancy in 2005.

So if the number dropped in 2007, does that mean all those people are full of shiat?

DeaH: No Such Agency: Everyone's going to college - it beats trying to find a job.

How do you pay for college without a job? And, in the teen's case, without daycare?

FAFSA, scholarships, loans. Plus, a lot of service industries (Waitstaff, delivery, etc.) doin't stop hiring ever. She could also get an on-campus job, working in the library, a computer lab, etc. I worked for the theater department for a while in college. Fit my major, good work, decent pay.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but don't most colleges have a child development major, wherein students learn how to take care of children? Could that not be utilized as daycare? Also, aren't most of them free or sharply discounted?

yellowcalx: F you libs you can NOT trick me into thinking abstinence doenst work. These libs are just using confusing tables and charts with linens and arrows to trick us into thikning abstinence doesnt work so they can get a leg up on Fing our daughters. That is NOT happening you will NOT bed MY daughter or touch her chest so keep your drawers on. I'm not going to take this lying down. My daughter uses a chastity belt as her armoire against these predators. Protect your daughters and yourshelves from these sickos who want to f our daughters anally. The ass is for shiatting stools not for your can of beans. If we let these libs take are daughters it will be the recline of western culture. How do you think the Ottoman Empire fell? And to any libs who wanna try to touch MY daughter be warned, I can bench 400 pounds and if you try it I will F you up.

Am I duinitright?

So teen pregnancy is on the rise along with the rise of a Democratic majority in government? Coincidence? I think not.

Start reading your bible and repenting libs, the end is nigh.

Karma Chameleon: So teen pregnancy is on the rise along with the rise of a Democratic majority in government? Coincidence? I think not.

Start reading your bible and repenting libs, the end is nigh.

Hm...to bite, or not to bite?

Yeah, I'll bite:

Except that the pregnancy rates, as calculated, are from the Bush admin, but nice try, you fascist bastard! :-)

Okay, I take it back...you're not a fascist.

Karma Chameleon: So teen pregnancy is on the rise along with the rise of a Democratic majority in government? Coincidence? I think not.

Start reading your bible and repenting libs, the end is nigh.

Lotsa sex in the Bible, I can't see that helping.

PizzaJedi81: FAFSA, scholarships, loans. Plus, a lot of service industries (Waitstaff, delivery, etc.) doin't stop hiring ever. She could also get an on-campus job, working in the library, a computer lab, etc. I worked for the theater department for a while in college. Fit my major, good work, decent pay.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but don't most colleges have a child development major, wherein students learn how to take care of children? Could that not be utilized as daycare? Also, aren't most of them free or sharply discounted?

Bingo. But the sad thing is, she's probably catholic (shocker) so it's not like going to school is a priority for women.

So if abstinence only education were the real problem, wouldn't that mean that teen pregnancy rates should have increased for the last 12 years as opposed to 'for the first time in 12 years'?

/Still thinks abstinence-only education is foolish.
//Awaits the verbal contortions from others to make this article appear to be a damning indictment of the abstinence-only system.

Absitinence only education may not be perfect but Im still leaning towerds that as a better choice then the alternative (handing out condoms to kids and saying 'just do it'). Weather are kids have sex or get stoned henges on what we teach them and I dont want there to be a great wall between me and my kids so I told them early: no sex before marriage or Christ the redeemer will NOT let you into heaven. I do NOT want teachers telling my daughter Artmis its ok to have sex with any of boys in her class. Her body is a temple. Also these boys are colossusal douchebags (I believe the latin translation is colosseum doucheum?) but beyond that she just shouldnt do it til shes older. Her vagina should be a forbidden city and she should do kid stuff like building lego lighthouse or collecting Pokemon cards like Machu Pikachu. At her age she shouldnt be petting unless its her pet rabbit. Bottom line is Obama thinks its ok to be hanging around kinder gardens teaching kids to have sex and thats NOT right and itza chicken shiat move IMO. Tell him to go back to the pyramid in Tajmahal, Kenya where he was born and let us decide how to raise are own kids.

Barnacles!

That guy watches me poop

StopArrestingMe: Absitinence only education may not be perfect but Im still leaning towerds that as a better choice then the alternative (handing out condoms to kids and saying 'just do it'). Weather are kids have sex or get stoned henges on what we teach them and I dont want there to be a great wall between me and my kids so I told them early: no sex before marriage or Christ the redeemer will NOT let you into heaven. I do NOT want teachers telling my daughter Artmis its ok to have sex with any of boys in her class. Her body is a temple. Also these boys are colossusal douchebags (I believe the latin translation is colosseum doucheum?) but beyond that she just shouldnt do it til shes older. Her vagina should be a forbidden city and she should do kid stuff like building lego lighthouse or collecting Pokemon cards like Machu Pikachu. At her age she shouldnt be petting unless its her pet rabbit. Bottom line is Obama thinks its ok to be hanging around kinder gardens teaching kids to have sex and thats NOT right and itza chicken shiat move IMO. Tell him to go back to the pyramid in Tajmahal, Kenya where he was born and let us decide how to raise are own kids.

-13/10

You misspelled the 1st word of your troll. Misspellings have to be farther in for it to look convincing. You actually owe a few thoughtful comments now.

Haven't knocked up girlfriend.

Made it to 21, take that pregnancy.

Since this article involves not having sex, shouldn't it have been in the Geek tab?