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(Some Guy) Obvious Taunton man robbed at knifepoint. Maybe he shouldn't have been Taunton people   (somersetcountygazette.co.uk) divider line 78
More: Obvious  
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78 Comments   (+0 »)


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mr_crash_davis 2009-02-28 03:35:42 PM  
He'll freeze before he reaches the first marker.

 
Bill_Wick's_Friend 2009-02-28 03:56:27 PM  
The guy wasn't robbing him. He was trying to slice open his belly so he could climb inside and keep warm.

 
BKITU [TotalFark] 2009-02-28 04:16:28 PM  
mr_crash_davis: He'll freeze before he reaches the first marker.

THEN I'LL SEE HIM IN HELL!!!

 
FlashHarry [TotalFark] 2009-02-28 04:50:40 PM  
i thought these things smelled bad... on the outside!

 
Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener [TotalFark] 2009-02-28 06:01:55 PM  
But was he strong enough to pull the ears off a gundark?

 
johnsoninca [TotalFark] 2009-02-28 06:10:41 PM  
dylankinney.com

Taunton people?

 
Ed Finnerty 2009-02-28 06:56:30 PM  
mr_crash_davis: He'll freeze before he reaches the first marker.

Win.

 
datsunwehavedatsunhere 2009-02-28 06:57:41 PM  
subby fail.

 
Only_A_Lad 2009-02-28 06:58:21 PM  
[insert star wars joke here]

 
NexusSix 2009-02-28 06:58:30 PM  
And you thought he smelled bad on the outside.

 
James F. Campbell 2009-02-28 06:59:41 PM  
The only thing easier than these jokes are subby's mom.

 
ZeroCorpse [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-02-28 07:04:12 PM  
Subby, you disappoint me.

 
scavenger 2009-02-28 07:05:23 PM  
What a missed opportunity by the submitter. For shame.

 
PizzaJedi81 2009-02-28 07:07:25 PM  
I've just been hearing about this story in Taunton. Imagine this - every single person in the village having an affair with the same duck.

 
The_Original_Roxtar 2009-02-28 07:07:26 PM  
peakcycles.files.wordpress.com
wanted for questioning

/hot
//probably late

 
zvoidx 2009-02-28 07:13:05 PM  
Taunton man robbed at knifepoint. Maybe he shouldn't have been Taunton people

Did you just say...?

i43.tinypic.com

 
No Such Agency 2009-02-28 07:13:12 PM  
mr_crash_davis:
He'll freeze before he reaches the first marker.

I hate you so very much.

 
TheRealFarkinator 2009-02-28 07:17:33 PM  
subby fail
subby fail
it's xmas time in the city (where subby fails)

seriously, are you new around here?

fool.

 
jck_strw 2009-02-28 07:19:10 PM  
Isn't this a reference to The Space Merchants?

 
FriarReb98 [TotalFark] 2009-02-28 07:21:14 PM  
Okay, admit it, fellow Massholes, you were wondering why the hell we should care about someone getting mugged in a place like Taunton.

 
washburnmb4 2009-02-28 07:25:40 PM  
jck_strw: Isn't this a reference to The Space Merchants?

Wow, go kill yourself in shame. This is clearly a Star Trek reference.

 
Meauran 2009-02-28 07:31:13 PM  
Seriously though, I don't think Taunton, MA has a "centre."

 
Pep Streebeck 2009-02-28 07:31:28 PM  
img.photobucket.com

"In two weeks," the Guard replied. "Maybe three. You have to come with us. There's a shipment from the freight depot..." A particularly loud crash of pots and pans and a volley of catcalls directed at the hapless potboy who had dropped them blotted out some of the rest; then the boys heard the Guard finish: "...poisoned meat."
"Risky."
"Ask not what th e good man can do for you--" the Guard began.
"But what can you do for him." Hax sighed. "Soldier, ask not."
"You know what it could mean," the Guard said quietly.
"Yar. And I know my responsibilities to him; you don't need to lecture me. I love him just as you do. Would foller him into the sea if he asked; so I would."
All right. The meat will be marked for short-term storage in your coldrooms. But you have to be quick. You must understand that."
"There are children in Taunton?" the cook asked. It was not really a question.
"Children everywhere," the Guard said gently. "It's the children we-and he-care about."
"Poisoned meat. Such a strange way to care for children." Hax uttered a heavy, whistling sigh. "Will they curdle and hold there bellies and cry for their mammas? I suppose they will."
"It will be like going to sleep," the Guard said, but his voice was too confidently reasonable.
"Of course," Hax said, and laughed.
"You said it yourself. 'Soldier, ask not.' Do you enjoy seeing children under the rule of the gun, when they could be under his hands, ready to start making a new world?"
Hax did not reply.

 
Raskolnikov's Angst 2009-02-28 07:31:59 PM  
This headline amuses me. Carry on subby.

 
Ebenator 2009-02-28 07:32:13 PM  
Wow, subby. You suck

 
Mustakraken 2009-02-28 07:33:59 PM  
Ben? Beeeeen?!

 
BattleFrenchie28 2009-02-28 07:34:12 PM  
FriarReb98: Okay, admit it, fellow Massholes, you were wondering why the hell we should care about someone getting mugged in a place like Taunton.

I was wondering why I should care and I live in Taunton.

 
FriarReb98 [TotalFark] 2009-02-28 07:37:19 PM  
BattleFrenchie28: FriarReb98: Okay, admit it, fellow Massholes, you were wondering why the hell we should care about someone getting mugged in a place like Taunton.

I was wondering why I should care and I live in Taunton.


Cool... got a friend who lives there, on Harrison Street....

 
judasmachine 2009-02-28 07:43:39 PM  
and i thought they smelled bad on the outside.

 
CornFedIowan 2009-02-28 07:46:52 PM  
Entered thread for the tauntaun references, see they have been taken care of and more.

 
findthefish [TotalFark] 2009-02-28 07:48:09 PM  
judas machine.....you beat me to it...

 
Green Scorpio 2009-02-28 07:50:34 PM  
Who does he think they are? Dynamite Monkeys?

 
reillan 2009-02-28 07:50:37 PM  
findthefish: judas machine.....you beat me to it...

Read up much further in the thread.. you'll see you were both beat...

 
FriarReb98 [TotalFark] 2009-02-28 07:57:32 PM  
Meauran: Seriously though, I don't think Taunton, MA has a "centre."

It does have the green, though. And urban legend has it that it's still legal to shoot Rhode Islanders there on Sundays.

 
NewportBarGuy [TotalFark] 2009-02-28 07:58:12 PM  
Only one way to deal with Taunton.

img201.imageshack.us

 
Funbags 2009-02-28 08:01:57 PM  
Maybe he should have given him a sign.

 
OniNeko 2009-02-28 08:07:46 PM  
washburnmb4: jck_strw: Isn't this a reference to The Space Merchants?

Wow, go kill yourself in shame. This is clearly a Star Trek reference.


I love it when people incorrectly correct people. Farking hilarious.

 
Dear Jerk 2009-02-28 08:09:21 PM  
I was expecting some Fine Woodworking jokes.

 
Alleyoop 2009-02-28 08:24:15 PM  
"That's not a knife, THIS is a knife!"
www.blogcdn.com

Mixed movie quotes trifecta is now complete.

/oh yeah, hotlink

 
Lacerated Spleen 2009-02-28 08:25:43 PM  
Weak subby, very weak.

 
One_Cent_Tenth_Spatula 2009-02-28 08:28:21 PM  
You're bound to get knifed when all you can say is "yakkle gakkle" to people all the time.

 
Oznog 2009-02-28 08:32:28 PM  
washburnmb4: jck_strw: Isn't this a reference to The Space Merchants?

Wow, go kill yourself in shame. This is clearly a Star Trek reference.


Star Trek has photon torpedoes, Star Wars has proton torpedoes. They're two completely different shows!
Get it right!

 
onebadgungan 2009-02-28 08:35:03 PM  
FlashHarry: i thought these things smelled bad... on the outside!

Thank you.

In other news - How do my headlines NOT get greenlit when this sort of thing does? (Not that this one is horrible, but I know I've done better.)

 
onebadgungan 2009-02-28 08:41:00 PM  
onebadgungan: FlashHarry: i thought these things smelled bad... on the outside!

Thank you.

In other news - How do my headlines NOT get greenlit when this sort of thing does? (Not that this one is horrible, but I know I've done better.) I'm having a sandy vag moment. Sorry about that.


FTFM

 
Oznog 2009-02-28 08:45:03 PM  
FlashHarry: i thought these things smelled bad... on the outside!

Thank you.

In other news - How do my headlines NOT get greenlit when this sort of thing does? (Not that this one is horrible, but I know I've done better.) I'm having a sandy vag moment. Sorry about that.

onebadgungan:FTFM


www.ebogjonson.com
I have fixed your post- pray I do not fix it any further.

 
Critic 2009-02-28 08:45:36 PM  
You see, My Lord, how the Duck of Taunton lives within him!!!

 
Zamboro [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-02-28 08:47:17 PM  
One_Cent_Tenth_Spatula: "You're bound to get knifed when all you can say is "yakkle gakkle" to people all the time."

I always heard it as "robble robble". Figured it was the Hamburglar in a costume, part of some elaborate ploy to steal the rebels' hamburgers.

 
onebadgungan 2009-02-28 08:47:37 PM  
Oznog: I have fixed your post- pray I do not fix it any further.

This post just keeps getting worse.

 
Tannhauser Gatekeeper 2009-02-28 09:00:03 PM  
i329.photobucket.com
Uncle Gunnysack approves.

 
PizzaJedi81 2009-02-28 09:02:19 PM  
Critic: You see, My Lord, how the Duck of Taunton lives within him!!!

Thank God, someone else who went Blackadder instead of the obvious Star Wars route. Thought I was gonna be the only one.

 
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