So, they are outlawing acting?
How can you outlaw looking drunk?

My solution for Utah:

A muslim and a mormon walk into a bar.
The bartender says "My daughters ain't here, get!."

As a drunk man at the moment, I'm really getting a kick...etc.

/and I look quite drunk, too

"Wh-wh-what?"

Britney Spear's Speculum: My solution for Utah:

It's no use. They have moved out. Those freaks are in Texas and other states: breeding, planning, waiting. It will only be a matter of time before they have amassed enough numbers through sheer farking and before you realize it, they're your neighbor, teacher, fark buddy and laws like this will spread...

Damn big government libs! Always trying to impose their beliefs on other people!

As someone who looks drunk in Utah right now,
I'm not getting a kick out of this.

Oh you farking know.

I can't wait until they start charging all the people with diseases and disorders and those sick kids for looking drunk.

Ah, those silly Mormons. Live and let live, I say. It's not like their silly beliefs are hurting anyone, right? Or it's not like they'll be given an inch and keep going for that mile, right?

\right?

I'm sorry, I hear lots of talk on Fark about the NANNY STATE UK (sometimes deserved), but this takes the cake. For one, it's actually the state setting the rules, and two, this bill is absolutely ridiculous. Now it's government's job to tell you what you can/cannot look like in public? It's also government's job to prevent people from being "corrupted" by *gasp* seeing a bar in a restaurant?

Give me a farking break. Move over Florida, NJ, and all the other states with bad reps. Utah farking blows and is crap state #1.

So I can't appear drunk but tweaking and rolling are ok?

What a farked up state.

Or as we colloquially call it here-- The Zion Curtain.

Cue the Helen Lovejoy pic.

This is why we all make fun of you, Utah.

Yeah, but have you seen some of the girls in Utah? Good God blonde hair blued eyed nubile tail everywhere? What is it with Mormons making hot chicks?

The cerebral palsy community is up in arms at the news.



Cause they look drunk...

/relax, my aunt has it.

Jakevol2: Yeah, but have you seen some of the girls in Utah? Good God blonde hair blued eyed nubile tail everywhere? What is it with Mormons making hot chicks?

It's because you can't have them.

(Well, most of them, anyway.)

Smacky the Frog: The cerebral palsy community is up in arms at the news.



Cause they look drunk...

/relax, my aunt has it.

...some of my best friends are...

/just effing with ya

A man walks into a bar and orders a shot of whisky. He drinks it, has a look inside his pocket and orders another shot. Again drinks that shot of whisky, has a look inside his pocket and orders anoher one. Finally, after doing so a few more times he asks for the bill. He pays and begins to walk out when the bartender grabs him and asks, "Why did you keep looking inside your pocket?" The guy replies "I have a photo of my wife inside my pocket. I keep taking shots til she looks good"!

And #2...

An Englishman, a Scot and a Irishman walk into a pub to have a beer. Pretty soon a fly swoops down and lands in the Englishman's beer, so he pushes away his mug and orders another. A few minutes later a fly swoops down and lands in the Scot's beer,the Scot reaches into his mug and picks out the fly and continues drinking his beer. A few moments later another fly swoops down and lands in the Irishman's beer ,the Irishman reaches in his mug picks up the fly and starts slapping the fly on the back yelling spit it out, spit it out!

ecmoRandomNumbers: Jakevol2: Yeah, but have you seen some of the girls in Utah? Good God blonde hair blued eyed nubile tail everywhere? What is it with Mormons making hot chicks?

It's because you can't have them.

(Well, most of them, anyway.)

My Joybook is on back order.

want to say something about a pt barnum quote about how i am drunk now but you are a utah something whatever, but in the morning i will be sober and you will still be a utah something whatever.

/looks drunk

So stoke victims and diabetics short of going into a hypoglycemic induced coma are all guilty.


WTG Utah, you farking assbackward pricks.

Smokey the Bare: A man walks into a bar and orders a shot of whisky. He drinks it, has a look inside his pocket and orders another shot. Again drinks that shot of whisky, has a look inside his pocket and orders anoher one. Finally, after doing so a few more times he asks for the bill. He pays and begins to walk out when the bartender grabs him and asks, "Why did you keep looking inside your pocket?" The guy replies "I have a photo of my wife inside my pocket. I keep taking shots til she looks good"!

And #2...

An Englishman, a Scot and a Irishman walk into a pub to have a beer. Pretty soon a fly swoops down and lands in the Englishman's beer, so he pushes away his mug and orders another. A few minutes later a fly swoops down and lands in the Scot's beer,the Scot reaches into his mug and picks out the fly and continues drinking his beer. A few moments later another fly swoops down and lands in the Irishman's beer ,the Irishman reaches in his mug picks up the fly and starts slapping the fly on the back yelling spit it out, spit it out!

Wow! Both sides of the pond representing in this thread!

Welcome, fellow forest fire prevention representative!

Now now... Let's not have any of the usual comments about Utah being a theocracy. I'm sure this has nothing to do with theocratic nonsense.

gOD forbid you have an inner ear infection and you are a bit clumsy.

Really?

I really gotta say one thing. fark you Utah. fark you. Beer has been with humanity since the beginning of civilization itself. Sure we've had a bit of a rocky relationship but dagnabbit we've had some good times. I really hope you die after eating a bag of flaming syphilitic dicks covered in anthrax pus. Alcohol is a piece of human history.

Retribution: want to say something about a pt barnum quote about how i am drunk now but you are a utah something whatever, but in the morning i will be sober and you will still be a utah something whatever.

/looks drunk

It was Winston Churchill:
Lady: You sir, are a drunk.
WC: That may be true madame, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

/or something like that.

Maggie_Luna: Britney Spear's Speculum: My solution for Utah:

It's no use. They have moved out. Those freaks are in Texas and other states: breeding, planning, waiting. It will only be a matter of time before they have amassed enough numbers through sheer farking and before you realize it, they're your neighbor, teacher, fark buddy and laws like this will spread...

that's why my wife and I are moving there later this year (she got accepted to U of U's engineering program) and, to quote Bernie Mac, "Move some furniture around this motherfarker!"

Smacky the Frog: Retribution: want to say something about a pt barnum quote about how i am drunk now but you are a utah something whatever, but in the morning i will be sober and you will still be a utah something whatever.

/looks drunk

It was Winston Churchill:
Lady: You sir, are a drunk.
WC: That may be true madame, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

/or something like that.

No the Churchill thing goes:

Woman: sir, if you were my husband I would poison your drink

Churchil: Madam, if you were my wife I would drink it.

WC Fields said the thing about being a drunk and the woman being ugly.

I really, really thought the headline was exaggerating. No way they would make it illegal to look drunk, thought I.

Freakin Utah...

Tempest2097: Beer has been with humanity since the beginning of civilization itself.

Smacky the Frog: Retribution: want to say something about a pt barnum quote about how i am drunk now but you are a utah something whatever, but in the morning i will be sober and you will still be a utah something whatever.

/looks drunk

It was Winston Churchill:
Lady: You sir, are a drunk.
WC: That may be true madame, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

/or something like that.

Continuing Churchill:

Lady: Sir, if you were my husband I would put poison in your tea.
WC: Madame, if you were my wife I would drink it.

and STILL no Utah tag.

I've been to Utah three times and hated every minute, the kooks there are unreal.

supichoo: I've been to Utah three times and hated every minute, the kooks there are unreal.

Come to L.A.. Our kooks are very real.

Maggie_Luna: It's no use. They have moved out. Those freaks are in Texas and other states: breeding, planning, waiting. It will only be a matter of time before they have amassed enough numbers through sheer farking and before you realize it, they're your neighbor, teacher, fark buddy and laws like this will spread...

So basically if fertility rates remain at their same levels, by 2050, we'll have the Mormon candidate vs the Latin American candidates for president.

And by 2150, we can add the Duggar party and the Octomom party.

Utah just issued a warrant for this guy:



/hot
//much like Ted's cheeks

supichoo: I've been to Utah three times and hated every minute, the kooks there are unreal.

I had some damn good Mexican food there though.

osuphd: and STILL no Utah tag.

Or Texas

Religious nuts always force there beliefs onto others.
Without fail every religion on the planet.

Until gods are finally disproved and that day will come there will never be peace on earth.

Britney Spear's Speculum: give me LA's freaks any day. In fact I'm going there for work again in a couple weeks, cant wait :)

wow. some of the greatest showmen ever are mentioned in the same thread. pt barnum, sir winston, wc fields. and, as long as we are talking about utah, do not forget joseph smith.

/it is always about the money

puppywuppy: Religious nuts always force there beliefs onto others.
Without fail every religion on the planet.

Until gods are finally disproved and that day will come there will never be peace on earth.

This is why a secular society is best for all.

LMAO Uhhh yeah; Cop pulls you over for.. well anything at all... person hops out, calls 911 on cell phone and reports the cop for appearing completely shiatfaced and they want another office to immediately come and arrest him. Let's see how long that stupid law lasts.

Joeseph Smith was drinking the night he got shot (and killed a guy).

thewah: Joeseph Smith was drinking the night he got shot (and killed a guy).

dum dum dum dum dum

/surely not obscure

They just NOW got around to doing this? Seriously, Utah has been under control by the mormons since it was founded....and they now just got around to this????

How can the LDS folks believe in the book of Mormon without being drunk?

SOLUTION for #1: take some GHB before you drink said drink. $$$PROFIT$$$

SOLUTION for #2: wear a mask. Personally, I would find it pretty neat if everyone was forced to wear a mask before entering a bar. It would provide anonymity and hid those ugly forehead wrinkles and smeared makeup.


/am I right or what?