huhhuhuh, 'staff'

huhuuhuhuhu, 'member'

'member of his staff'

At first, I was like



But then I

That's more humor and candidness than I think we've ever seen from Kerry in an interview. It's a shame this guy never ran for president.

UNC_Samurai: That's more humor and candidness than I think we've ever seen from Kerry in an interview. It's a shame this guy never ran for president.

Why is it that failed Dem candidates really suck at connecting with people until well after they're in the spotlight?

Occam's Chainsaw

Why is it that failed Dem candidates really suck at connecting with people until well after they're in the spotlight?

Vetting process?

On the advice of my attorney, my family and every member of my staff, I am no longer allowed to tell jokes.

Q: What's a common and accepted practice for Americans nowadays that you think we'll look back on with regret?
A: Up until this November, it was voting Republican.

Q: Bonus Round: Who would win in a street fight, Pat Buchanan or John McLaughlin?
A: Trust me, we'd all be winners in that scenario.

And he gains a few points on these.

Any opposing player who sacks, tackles, touches, breathes on or looks directly at Tom Brady is declared an enemy combatant.

But he lost all of them with that.

UNC_Samurai: That's more humor and candidness than I think we've ever seen from Kerry in an interview. It's a shame this guy never ran for president.

Yeah, funny how people like Dole, Gore, and Kerry only got the joke after it was too late.

Q: What's a common and accepted practice for Americans nowadays that you think we'll look back on with regret?

A: Up until this November, it was voting Republican.

I lol'd

I wonder what would happen if this version of Kerry (combined with the version from the DNC convention) ran against the election night speech version of John McCain (combined with the version from the Alfred E. Smith roast).

Holy crap.. I LOL'd at something John Kerry had to say. Where the hell was this man when he was running for President!?

Occam's Chainsaw: Why is it that failed Dem candidates really suck at connecting with people until well after they're in the spotlight?

It's not a party thing. It's shiatty campaign advisers. No one knew Bob Dole had a personality until after he lost. And I don't recall the erstwhile jovial McCain ever making an appearance during the campaign.

And as for Kerry? This is sort of a non-promise. He could never tell a joke.

Falcc: Holy crap.. I LOL'd at something John Kerry had to say. Where the hell was this man when he was running for President!?

Don't get too excited. Do we have any reason to believe these answers weren't written by his press guy?

GAT_00: Q: Bonus Round: Who would win in a street fight, Pat Buchanan or John McLaughlin?
A: Trust me, we'd all be winners in that scenario.

And he gains a few points on these.

HAHAHAHAHA!!!That's funny John. I still won't ever vote for you again, but that was amusing.

FTFA: Q: What's a common and accepted practice for Americans nowadays that you think we'll look back on with regret?

A: Up until this November, it was voting Republican.

Flip-flopper!

/yes, I realize that he wasn't joking

bulldg4life: I wonder what would happen if this version of Kerry (combined with the version from the DNC convention) ran against the election night speech version of John McCain (combined with the version from the Alfred E. Smith roast).

What the hell are you doing being a dirty liter?

John Kerry is an abnormally enormous douchebag

atomsmoosher: Falcc: Holy crap.. I LOL'd at something John Kerry had to say. Where the hell was this man when he was running for President!?

Don't get too excited. Do we have any reason to believe these answers weren't written by his press guy?

His press guy should be just as capable of writing his speeches. The point SOMEBODY speaking for John Kerry isn't full of bored and fail.

Understands:

People think that if he had been funnier, he could have won in '04? Damn, we really did deserve Bush.

"reminisientof Jenjis Khan"

Jenjis?

Farking tool.

I like Kerry. He's a smart guy, but one with a habit of sticking his foot in his foot shaped face.

Hah. I laughed. This was a worthwhile read.

Memes Ate My Balls: People think that if he had been funnier, he could have won in '04? Damn, we really did deserve Bush.

I think the premise is that fewer morons who are affected by that kind of persuasion would have voted for the fake cowboy dry drunk. And yes, we did deserve it. Besides, Kerry was plenty funny during the election:

Memes Ate My Balls: People think that if he had been funnier, he could have won in '04? Damn, we really did deserve Bush.

There are many reasons I hated his campaign, but his inability to be even remotely personable tended to prevent people from listening to his message and ideas.

/cue windsurfing and football "catch" pictures

Don't get too excited. Do we have any reason to believe these answers weren't written by his press guy?

Glad someone actually caught this...

Prepared responses to an email questionare... He didn't actually sit there and respond with these witty comments.

GAT_00: What the hell are you doing being a dirty liter?

Well, two things.

One, paypal locked my account because eBay tried to access it, so I had to wait until I get a confirmation from Paypal. So, I didn't re-up right when it ran out. Two, after a day or two, I found I really don't have a desire to re-up right now.

He sounds like a bitter, bitter old man

xtragrind: Don't get too excited. Do we have any reason to believe these answers weren't written by his press guy?

Glad someone actually caught this...

Prepared responses to an email questionare... He didn't actually sit there and respond with these witty comments.

An excellent way to parry your shame at finding them witty.


My favorite:

Q: Bonus Round: Who would win in a street fight, Pat Buchanan or John McLaughlin?

A: Trust me, we'd all be winners in that scenario. (new window)

Wendy's Chili: I like Kerry. He's a smart guy

cousin-merle: Memes Ate My Balls: People think that if he had been funnier, he could have won in '04? Damn, we really did deserve Bush.

I think the premise is that fewer morons who are affected by that kind of persuasion would have voted for the fake cowboy dry drunk. And yes, we did deserve it. Besides, Kerry was plenty funny during the election:

Hahahahahahahaha

Jesus Christ, were GOP volunteers just lobbing footballs at him everywhere he went?

FTA:

Seeing the differences between communism and the West up close as a kid. My father grounded me afterwards, but riding my bike into East Germany and seeing the sterile, cold buildings of the Soviets framed in a very real way the divide between our way of life and theirs.

He shoulda said stuff like that on the campaign trail. He might have found 50,000 votes in Ohio. Mighta made all the 'swift boat' and 'Genghis Khan' junk a little harder to believe. Oh well, it's all medals thrown over the wall now.

For those of you still hopeful about Bobby Jindal 2012, please take a look at John Kerry 2004 and Al Gore 2000.

An intelligent policy wonk with no charisma doesn't get elected president.

(Thank God an intelligent policy wonk with charisma does.)

bulldg4life: GAT_00: What the hell are you doing being a dirty liter?

Well, two things.

One, paypal locked my account because eBay tried to access it, so I had to wait until I get a confirmation from Paypal. So, I didn't re-up right when it ran out. Two, after a day or two, I found I really don't have a desire to re-up right now.

One of us! One of us!

UNC_Samurai: That's more humor and candidness than I think we've ever seen from Kerry in an interview. It's a shame this guy never ran for president.

This

Occam's Chainsaw: Why is it that failed Dem candidates really suck at connecting with people until well after they're in the spotlight?

and that.

bulldg4life: GAT_00: What the hell are you doing being a dirty liter?

Well, two things.

One, paypal locked my account because eBay tried to access it, so I had to wait until I get a confirmation from Paypal. So, I didn't re-up right when it ran out. Two, after a day or two, I found I really don't have a desire to re-up right now.

Embrace the feeling of being a liter. Slip into it, like a nice warm bath.

He's been described as funny when off camera, and I think these responses give a good indication of that.

Wendy's Chili
Jesus Christ, were GOP volunteers just lobbing footballs at him everywhere he went?

Okay, that was funnier than the article was. Now all day I'm going to be seeing the scenario in my head....

"Crap, Kerry's coming to give a speech! What do we do???"
...
...
...
"Throw a football to him?"
"Genius!"

UNC_Samurai: That's more humor and candidness than I think we've ever seen from Kerry in an interview. It's a shame this guy never ran for president.

HumbleGenius: He's been described as funny when off camera, and I think these responses give a good indication of that.

He was always pretty good whenever Imus interviewed him.

Of course, so was McCain, so I dunno WTF happened in either case.

Wraithbane: Okay, that was funnier than the article was. Now all day I'm going to be seeing the scenario in my head....

"Crap, Kerry's coming to give a speech! What do we do???"
...
...
...
"Throw a football to him?"
"Genius!"

They tried it again this time around with Obama, but the guy throwing the bowling balls hurt himself at the first photo op.

xtragrind: Prepared responses to an email questionare... He didn't actually sit there and respond with these witty comments.

Yeah, about to say...There wasn't any hemming and hawing and 500-word sentences in his answers where he contradicted himself at least a dozen times. This is NOT the John Kerry we know and hate.

d'art: For those of you still hopeful about Bobby Jindal 2012, please take a look at John Kerry 2004 and Al Gore 2000.

An intelligent policy wonk with no charisma doesn't get elected president.

I heard some talking head on TV (I never looked up from the computer to identify) say that the more attractive candidate in physical appearance always wins the presidential contest. I don't feel like doing the research on that - but I wouldn't doubt that some section of the electorate has become that superficial. In which case Jindal needs a makeover, not to mention an exorcist for his creationist and anti-science leanings.

Occam's Chainsaw
Why is it that failed Dem candidates really suck at connecting with people until well after they're in the spotlight?

Damned if I know. I watched a documentary on Lee Atwater (whose fate was Karmic justice if ever there was Karmic justice).

There were a few interview clips with Dukakis where he seemed very intelligent, honest and I remember thinking, damn he would have been a good president.

But I'm old enough to remember the Dukakis-Bush election and at the time he was just the usual bland, wooden Democrat candidate. He lost to George Bush Sr for crying out loud. Heck, even my Firefox spell-check doesn't think he's that significant.

Georgion

*golf clap* (2nd definition)

flannelled fool: I heard some talking head on TV (I never looked up from the computer to identify) say that the more attractive candidate in physical appearance always wins the presidential contest.

That's BS, if it was attractiveness alone the ticket with Palin on it would have won no matter what.

Kerry, like any other Democrat, has no reason to tell jokes any more.

every time a republican opens its mouth is a joke.

Occam's Chainsaw: Why is it that failed Dem candidates really suck at connecting with people until well after they're in the spotlight?

FTFY

/Remember Bob Dole? After he lost, he started getting loose and joking around and everyone was asking the same question.

GAT_00: What the hell are you doing being a dirty liter?

We've had to lay some TotalFarkers off.

But the TotalFarkers that got to stay on got a 10% bonus, so it's all good.

Shaggy_C: That's BS, if it was attractiveness alone the ticket with Palin on it would have won no matter what.

And I'm pretty sure the GOP did their best to mobilize their necrophiliac contingent into voting for McCain.

Eegah: /Remember Bob Dole? After he lost, he started getting loose and joking around and everyone was asking the same question.

Yeah, it's the one thing that crosses the partisan divide. It reminds me of one of my old greenlights: Giuliani appears on SNL's Weekend Update, reveals why he failed to get his party's nomination: "The Florida plan was solid, I stand by that, but the dress killed me" I guess once the pressure is off they just stop caring about image. It works both ways too, win or lose; I mean, take Bush or Clinton for example, I don't remember all the chuckling and backslapping 'hee haw' type of stuff until they were in office.