Now that's unusual... pussycat

Would anyone be shocked if Elvis was gay? The hair, the clothes, good dancer. I'm not saying he was, or care, but it seems plausible.

Supposedly Mr. Jones has a horse cock. I'd check him out too.

Tom and his giant cock

CrankMyBlueSax: Supposedly Mr. Jones has a horse cock. I'd check him out too.

And Elvis, aaaah, wore size 11 boots himself, if you know what I mean. You bet he'd check out the competition.

Speedofdarkness: Would anyone be shocked if Elvis was gay? The hair, the clothes, good dancer. I'm not saying he was, or care, but it seems plausible.

Yeah, but he was also fat. So it seems unlikely.

Why, why, why, Submitter?

Cyberluddite: Speedofdarkness: Would anyone be shocked if Elvis was gay? The hair, the clothes, good dancer. I'm not saying he was, or care, but it seems plausible.

Yeah, but he was also fat. So it seems unlikely.

Uh...There are fat gays too. Most don't look like the one's in Rugbyjock shops and your dreams.

Cyberluddite: Speedofdarkness: Would anyone be shocked if Elvis was gay? The hair, the clothes, good dancer. I'm not saying he was, or care, but it seems plausible.

Yeah, but he was also fat. So it seems unlikely.

He wasn't always fat. Just his latter years.

And ... you don't think there are fat gays?

What?

Elvis was a sick pervert who happened to have a voice and sense of rhythm?

Someone needs to PS Elvis and Jones on the "You know how I know..." couch!

Then again



"You know how I know you're gay?"

degreeless: Uh...There are fat gays too. Most don't look like the one's in Rugbyjock shops and your dreams.

festus: And ... you don't think there are fat gays?

Jee-zus, it was a joke. And for you guys' benefit, I'll state in advance, in case I ever make other jokes in the future, that yes, I do understand that Mormons no longer engage in polygamy, some prominent Republican politicians are not in fact closeted homosexuals, not all Catholic priest are child molesters, and there are women in L.A. who do not have breast implants.

TOM JONES - ELVIRA: `TOM JONES LEFT ME NEEDING STITCHES AFTER SEX'

El Link-O (now with poppy goodness)

Just pick on the corpse...

Thanks to Bubba Ho-Tep, I can hear The King reacting in different ways to that scenario.

"It'd been two presidential elections since I'd had a boner like that."

or

"It's time for A-C-T-I-O-N!"

or even

How could I have gone from the king of rock'n'roll to this? An old guy in a restroom in East Texas with a *growth* on his pecker.

/There are so many lines about his pecker.
//I could do this all day

I heard Elvis turned Bob Dylan onto drugs and group sex.

Cyberluddite: degreeless: Uh...There are fat gays too. Most don't look like the one's in Rugbyjock shops and your dreams.

festus: And ... you don't think there are fat gays?

Jee-zus, it was a joke. And for you guys' benefit, I'll state in advance, in case I ever make other jokes in the future, that yes, I do understand that Mormons no longer engage in polygamy, some prominent Republican politicians are not in fact closeted homosexuals, not all Catholic priest are child molesters, and there are women in L.A. who do not have breast implants.

That last one is a lie. Also, there are no virgins in LA.

"It was Tom, and his Jones! It sang a song!"

I like Tom Jones okay and all, but he needs to shut his whore mouth, talking about the king like that.

/"Elvis was an artist. But that didn't stop him from joining the service in time of war. And that's why he's The King, and you're a schmuck!"

TeddyRay: I like Tom Jones okay and all, but he needs to shut his whore mouth, talking about the king like that.

/"Elvis was an artist. But that didn't stop him from joining the service in time of war. And that's why he's The King, and you're a schmuck!"

Weak
I give it 1 chickenhawk point out of 10

The wife and I saw Tom in Vegas about a month ago.

Awesome show, we had a table right at the stage. As soon as Tom started singing "Hello Pussycat" someone no sooner yelled "cover your drinks" when the panties started flying over our heads onto the stage.

I turned around to see if it was a bunch of middle age ladies...nope, all hot college aged girls.

Fun times.

One fat dude checks out another one in the shower. He dies a terrible death. The other fat dude kinda humiliates him.

The end.

Cyberluddite: And for you guys' benefit, I'll state in advance, in case I ever make other jokes in the future, that yes, I do understand that Mormons no longer engage in polygamy, some prominent Republican politicians are not in fact closeted homosexuals, not all Catholic priest are child molesters, and there are women in L.A. who do not have breast implants.

I wouldn't be so sure about any of that.

And I hope everyone knows, SERIOUSLY, that Elvis was blonde - dyed his hair black. That is all.

One fat dude checks out another one in the shower. He dies a terrible death. The other fat dude kinda humiliates him.

The end.

Much too original for Hollywood. Have you considered a study of Jason Voorhees?

seems unlikely...unless farking lots and lots of women makes you gay.

Yeesh. Tom better be careful some deranged redneck doesn't enact revenge for disgracing the memory of The King. Might as well say jebus is gay Tennessee. Can You imagine saying that in the line waiting to get in to graceland on elvis' b-day? yeee-ikes!

Goonie_Goo_Goo: TOM JONES - ELVIRA: `TOM JONES LEFT ME NEEDING STITCHES AFTER SEX'

El Link-O (now with poppy goodness)

Thats why he is the Sex Bomb! Brings the damage wherever he drops it!

TeddyRay wrote:

"Elvis was an artist. But that didn't stop him from joining the service in time of war. And that's why he's The King, and you're a schmuck!"

Ya know... he was drafted.

Chet Atkins once told an anecdote about it. Chet said something about Elvis joining the Army & Elvis replied "Hell no, I didn't join. I was drafted. There's still scratches from my fingernails on the front porch from when they dragged me off."

wastedhate: "It was Tom, and his Jones! It sang a song!"

Nice. I haven't seen that stand up special in years...

It's nakey time!!! *ping!*

Tom Jones is and always has been a terrific singer and performer on stage.Its kind of sad that as he ages and the interest in him continues to wane that he should make up a lie like this to sooth his ego.Since when did Elvis write songs??? And why would he be auditioning for Tom Jones when he was already the undisputed king of rock and roll? Its pretty childish and no doubt inaccurate to think Elvis had to audition anything for anybody.The friggin' Beatles were even awestruck of him but he felt the need to kiss Tom Jones' ass???? I doubt it.

Speedofdarkness
Would anyone be shocked if Elvis was gay? The hair, the clothes, good dancer. I'm not saying he was, or care, but it seems plausible.

Male dancers get to put their hands all over hot young fit Spandex-wearing women. I don't think all of them are gay.