What?

lolwut?

Who?

Stupid

The fail tag must be for the headline.

Is it possible to a have a press report out of Britain that doesn't include CCTV in it.

Typical brit garbage here. 3/4 of the article is crap explaining what the crap they already said means.

sort of extended Haiku?

prefers Nantucket limerick

Carole Cadwalladr

farkin' Welsh, so stingy with the vowels...

Worst headline ever.

Bollocks. She obviously winnifrd the lorrygag to influence he soliciter's lot of lorrewnburries.
Next up, a dust up over a cockup.

*blinks*

Why does subby hate us?

Geez-is, I'm actually drunk as I read this, and I'm glad I'm not the only one who couldn't figure out what the headline's trying to say.

/Do they speak English in What?

Forsooth. Yea, verily.

Subby, you deserve a cock punch for that abortion of a headline.

The headline gave me a headache, and the article didn't clarify anything.

There were. 50 commas, 35 periods. In that, article. Of 715 words. I said, 715 words. Did you hear, me? 715 words.

The only explanation for the headline that makes sense is that subby was trying to capture the horrid writing in TFA.

slackux: Typical brit garbage here. 3/4 of the article is crap explaining what the crap they already said means.

I count 1 out of 10 paragraphs explaining the origin of the phrase "hoist with your own petard", and 0 out of 10 explaining what it means (the Guardian readership being presumed articulate enough to not need this spelled out for them).

Forsooth, I do say that headline sucketh.

I read the headline. I RTFA. I have no idea what happened where to whom.

Seahawks fan cooks burger for Steelers fan spits in it, ends up charging missing most of the burger and loses anyway.

jeffowl: The only explanation for the headline that makes sense is that subby was trying to capture the horrid writing in TFA.

Seems the case...

FTFA: A petard was, in the original French, an explosion of intestinal gas which, in turn, gave its name to a small bomb, such as the one that erupted across the papers last week, when the neighbours of her sister's house in Peckham, south London, came forward and told the press that she was only there a couple of days a week.

I'm going to go out on a limb and say that subby did that intentionally as a way of mocking the article. Not really surprised that Farkers don't get it.

Subby - David has a message for you

My Ickle pony

For want of £20,000, South Ayrshire Council has decided that Pets Corner animal sanctuary must go. Farewell then, Barnie the donkey and Ickle the Welsh pony, who "will probably be forced to go to a market, where most horses are sold for meat". Yes, well, after press like this, I doubt Ickle will become the latest victim of the credit crunch.



/If I had an allotment, I'd know my onions

Begoggle: I'm going to go out on a limb and say that subby did that intentionally as a way of mocking the article. Not really surprised that Farkers don't get it.

So now we're supposed to be reading the articles instead of just blindly commenting on the headlines? Cripes, if I wanted to be doing book reports, I would have stayed in 4th grade.

OK. Jacqui Smith is the Home Secretary, the Government Minister in charge of law and order. She has headed a campaign to encourage citizens to report people suspected of fraudulent Social Security claims.
She is entitled to claim for a second residence as she is a Member for Parliament and comes from outside London.
She has been staying in her sisters house in London, whilst her family lives in the country. She has been claiming for the country mansion (as her 2nd home) whilst making out that her sister's back bedroom is her main residence.
Her sister's neighbours have ratted her out.

/Irony.
//Hope this helps.

Subby fail english? That's not unpossible!

TheAbstractor: There were. 50 commas, 35 periods. In that, article. Of 715 words. I said, 715 words. Did you hear, me? 715 words.

I think that it is so awesome that you would point that out. Thank you.

Managed to get thru 1/2 the article. I have no idea what it was about.
If this is an example of their journalism, that is one illiterate country.

lunkhed: She is entitled to claim for a second residence as she is a Member for Parliament and comes from outside London.

Almost. The idea is that if an MP's main residence is not in their constituency, they are entitled to a second residence claim for a property in their constituency. She's claiming that her family house in her constituency is her second residence, to justify the claim, and that her sister's house in London is her main residence. Hence the uproar.

jonj1980: Managed to get thru 1/2 the article. I have no idea what it was about.
If this is an example of their journalism, that is one illiterate country.

This just goes to show that the language barrier between the US and the UK is larger than anyone anticipated.

Top-hole! Bally Jerry, pranged his kite right in the how's-your-father; hairy blighter, dicky-birded, feathered back on his sammy, took a waspy, flipped over on his Betty Harpers and caught his can in the Bertie.

jonj1980: Managed to get thru 1/2 the article. I have no idea what it was about.
If this is an example of their journalism, that is one illiterate country.

'thru'

Subby, must. Have. Asthma, or. Something.

Let me explain what has happened here.

1. This article is from a Sunday newspaper here in the UK.

2. A significant proportion of the articles in the Sunday newspapers will refer to news stories from earlier in the week.

3. The reader is assumed to have prior knowledge of the Jacqui Smith story.

4. The journalist points out the irony of Jacqui Smith being hoist by her own petard; namely, encouraging neighbours to spy on each other and report claims frauds.

5. Stupid American reads said article, is upset by the unfamiliar vocabulary.

The headline was farking brilliant.

FTFA: Hardly anyone actually shoots themselves in the foot or literally gets egg on their face, so it was a real pleasure last week, in so many ways, to witness Jacqui Smith being hoist with her own petard.

/The Welsh... they write like they speak.

Saulsa: The fail tag must be for the headline.

I must be stupid today. I was lost from the beginning of TFA.

basically, our home secretary is fascist scum who has been caught cheating, and we all love it

/nuff said

Petard means fart.

ipsofacto: Top-hole! Bally Jerry, pranged his kite right in the how's-your-father; hairy blighter, dicky-birded, feathered back on his sammy, took a waspy, flipped over on his Betty Harpers and caught his can in the Bertie.

Yea verily, thou art whargarbl.

I thought I had finally managed to comprehend subby's headline, and then opened the article only to be confused again.

I think that might be the most convoluted thing I've read in quite a while.

English motherfarker, do you speak it? - S. Jackson

If you read the headline in the voice of the narrator from "Pushing Daisies" it works better.

Everyone in this thread should attempt to RTFA if they hope to understand the joke of the headline D: