No, you pour ice cold water on it..duhh.

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GaryPDX: No, you pour ice cold water on it..duhh.

That's not funny. Pouring water on it is the last thing you should do. It will vaporize and spatter flaming oil everywhere.

1) Turn off the burner
2) Don't move the pan
3) Put the pan lid or something non-flammable on top to suffocate the fire.

notmtwain: GaryPDX: No, you pour ice cold water on it..duhh.

That's not funny. Pouring water on it is the last thing you should do. It will vaporize and spatter flaming oil everywhere.

1) Turn off the burner
2) Don't move the pan
3) Put the pan lid or something non-flammable on top to suffocate the fire.

Oh c'mon. Anyone who doesn't know that should get a Darwin award.

When I was 13 or so I started boiling water for some ramen noodles. I left the kitchen to resume playing age of empires for a few minutes, got absorbed in a battle, and 20 minutes later sniffed smoke. Ran to the kitchen, the pan was empty, of course, smoke everywhere. Without thinking i grab the pan and race outside. Molten metal dripped off the bottom and sizzled marks on the wooden floor and then the rug as I ran the 15 steps or so outside. In retrospect, I'm lucky that shiat didn't drop on my bare feet, as I'd probably lose a toe. Damn that would have sucked.

Moral of the story: I was an idiot as a kid. Ah hell, I'm still an idiot.

Heh. I used to work in an oil company lab, and every once in a while we would get diesel fuel and test the flash point to make sure it wasn't contaminated with gasoline. One day we got some gasoline, and were asked to test if it was contaminated with diesel. My co-worker ran the diesel flashpoint test, and hilarity ensued. However, instead of covering it or using a fire extinguisher he decided he should run with the pan of burning gasoline through the warehouse full of oil cases. That was not hilarious.

wife #2 (the dumbass) got pissed at me for smothering an oil fire with "her good dish towel."

????

This is why I keep a big containeer of salt right by the stove. It smothers oil fires pretty good. I seldom fry anymore, and also keep the lid for whatever pan I am using handy.


GaryPDX

Oh c'mon. Anyone who doesn't know that should get a Darwin award.

You'd be surprised at what people don't know. My mother, a college graduate, once tried to clean a toilet bowl with a mixture of Sani-Flush and Clorox. Luckily I smelled the chlorine and got her out of there.

GaryPDX

You're the jerkoff who always used to convince me in CS 1.6 that F10 got me extra body armor, aren't you? AREN'T YOU???

GaryPDX: No, you pour ice cold water on it..duhh.

That's dangerous. I keep a cheap bottle of vodak next to the stove in case of kitchen fires.

real shaman: wife #2 (the dumbass) got pissed at me for smothering an oil fire with "her good dish towel."

Good dish towel? what the fark is a "good" dish towel? Does it have a high thread count? Hand knitted.

what_now: what the fark is a "good" dish towel?

it's the one you'd burn you house down for.....

real shaman: what_now: what the fark is a "good" dish towel?

it's the one you'd burn you house down for.....

You need a new wife-picker, man.

Everyone should have a lareg box of baking soda right next to the stove for such things. Smother that mother.

what_now: You need a new wife-picker, man.

I'm on #3 now and she's the only one I picked while clean and sober. It's funny how much one's picker can improve.

Confidential: When I was 13 or so I started boiling water for some ramen noodles. I left the kitchen to resume playing age of empires for a few minutes, got absorbed in a battle, and 20 minutes later sniffed smoke. Ran to the kitchen, the pan was empty, of course, smoke everywhere. Without thinking i grab the pan and race outside. Molten metal dripped off the bottom and sizzled marks on the wooden floor and then the rug as I ran the 15 steps or so outside. In retrospect, I'm lucky that shiat didn't drop on my bare feet, as I'd probably lose a toe. Damn that would have sucked.

Moral of the story: I was an idiot as a kid. Ah hell, I'm still an idiot.

Why did the pot melt? That shouldn't happen even with an empty pot

I have a fire story:

I used to live in a trailer, and I'd been up on the roof applying tar. when I was done, I went inside and started cleaning up using white gas (Coleman camping stuff.) I was about four feet from the stove, and somehow the fumes sucked the pilot light out from the stove and caught everything on fire. My hands, the counter, and worst, the can of gas.

I was freaking out, but I thought I needed to get that can of gas out of the place. (it was burning on the top.) I grabbed it and ran outside, dumping it in to the sand. Nothing in the trailer caught fire, it just burned off--there were a couple of burn patches on the floor.

I figure I was pretty lucky. I could have incinerated the trailer or my face in a minute.

real shaman: what_now: You need a new wife-picker, man.

I'm on #3 now and she's the only one I picked while clean and sober. It's funny how much one's picker can improve.

When I get liquored up, I tend to do most of my thinking with my picker, too.

real shaman: what_now: You need a new wife-picker, man.

I'm on #3 now and she's the only one I picked while clean and sober. It's funny how much one's picker can improve.

Ah well yes. I myself have picked a few winners while drunk.

never married any of them...yet.

Cooking oil catches fire in your pan. Do you c) try to carry the flaming pan to another room?
Of course, because fire makes every person behave in a calm, and rational manner.

Years and years ago, I had an oil fire in a 15" omelet pan and we didn't have anything large enough to cover it. My roommate panicked and grabbed the flour instead of the baking powder, which made a giant fireball. With no lid, fire extinguisher, sand or other means to put it out, we ran outside with it and tossed it on the patio. The oil splattered out of the pan and the patio looked like it had been fire bombed. After about fifteen seconds the oil on the bricks burned itself out.

Yeah, but anyway, we were dumbasses.

Done it, fixed it. I let the pot get too hot before I put the cooking oil in. Big flames.

I got everything right, my only mistake was spending maybe 15 seconds trying to remember where the fire extinguisher was before I did the right thing - as enumerated above... 1) Put the lid on the pot, 2) Didn't try moving the pot, 3) Turned burner off.

Then I got to spend a couple of hours scrubbing the carbon stains off the pot and microwave.

GaryPDX: No, you pour ice cold water on it..duhh.

Gary: you win the thread with Boobies AND getting some sucker to take the bait.

a) ice cold water
b) vodak

wasn't there a story a while back about a guy who was cooking meth on his toaster in his closet, and ended up with a fire and tried to put it out by pouring Windex on it? And when that didn't work, he drove to walmart to buy a fire extinguisher? That's my favorite fire story.

"Always violently throw a pail of water on any grease fire. If a hose is handy, thats even better."

CruJones:
Why did the pot melt? That shouldn't happen even with an empty pot

Because this is America. Didn't you learn anything in history?

Unsung_Hero: Done it, fixed it. I let the pot get too hot before I put the cooking oil in. Big flames.

Then I got to spend a couple of hours scrubbing the carbon stains off the pot and microwave.

Never put an oil fire inside a microwave. They go in the toaster oven.

cryinoutloud: I went inside and started cleaning up using white gas (Coleman camping stuff.)

Shaking my head.

OK, let me just say this, and I'm not just saying this because this is the industry I work in. Cleaning up a nasty dry chemical mess in your kitchen, while unpleasant, is a hell of a lot easier than building a new one. If you don't have an ABC or special kitchen-type fire extinguisher in your kitchen, get one. Know how to use it. Make sure everyone in the house knows where it is and how to use it. Check the gauge every time you do your "spring cleaning."

I don't know about you, but my insurance company asked when we started the insurance whether or not we had fire extinguishers around the house. So I assume your rates are higher if you answer "no." I did have one little one in the kitchen that the PO's had left, but as soon as some decent-looking (but past their 6 year hydro test window for commercial use) real ones came into the office to be discarded, I picked up a whole mess of them and arrayed them strategically around the house.

Seriously, it's like having smoke detectors. A (relatively) inexpensive, common-sense thing to do that probably will never pay off, but if it does, you'll sure be glad that it did.

My friend's brother nearly burned his house down recently because of a stove fire. Based on what the house looked like in the aftermath, we determined that he did the following to try to put out the fire:

1) Dumped a sack of flour into the pan
2) Carried the pan around the kitchen, periodically putting it down onto counters that are not designed to handle that sort of heat
3) Carried it into the foyer, spilling burning oil onto the carpet in the process
4) Threw the whole works out into the front yard

He "couldn't find a pan lid" to cover it with.... Apparently he didn't see the pan lid that was on the counter, about two feet away from the stove.

I didn't know cooking oil even had hands.

Confidential: When I was 13 or so I started boiling water for some ramen noodles. I left the kitchen to resume playing age of empires for a few minutes, got absorbed in a battle, and 20 minutes later sniffed smoke. Ran to the kitchen, the pan was empty, of course, smoke everywhere. Without thinking i grab the pan and race outside. Molten metal dripped off the bottom and sizzled marks on the wooden floor and then the rug as I ran the 15 steps or so outside. In retrospect, I'm lucky that shiat didn't drop on my bare feet, as I'd probably lose a toe. Damn that would have sucked.

Moral of the story: I was an idiot as a kid. Ah hell, I'm still an idiot.

Musta been an aluminum pot?

I did sort of the same thing once, inadvertantly... was an old stove where all the printed graphics were worn off of the faceplate around the knobs. I was somnambulently trying to make myself something, and had put a pot of water on to boil. Went into the next room to do something, came back to check on the water and it was still stone cold. here I'd inadvertantly turned on the back burner which had a cast iron skillet on it (hence I didn't notice that I'd lit the wrong burner) no flames as there was nothing in it, but it was glowing red hot and all the seasoning turned into grey, powdery ash. Oops. Still have the skillet though...

A..It helps if you are smarter than the burning pan...B... Bitach should stick to making sandwiches...

notmtwain: GaryPDX: No, you pour ice cold water on it..duhh.

That's not funny. Pouring water on it is the last thing you should do. It will vaporize and spatter flaming oil everywhere.

1) Turn off the burner
2) Don't move the pan
3) Put the pan lid or something non-flammable on top to suffocate the fire.

Quit tipping off potential future darwin award holders!!!!!

PunchDrunkPanda: GaryPDX

You're the jerkoff who always used to convince me in CS 1.6 that F10 got me extra body armor, aren't you? AREN'T YOU???

You should try ALT+F4 for a free AWP

basemetal: cryinoutloud: I went inside and started cleaning up using white gas (Coleman camping stuff.)

Shaking my head.

What do you use to get tar off of you? I wasn't smoking.

there's less fire in the next room over.

Confidential: When I was 13 or so I started boiling water for some ramen noodles. I left the kitchen to resume playing age of empires for a few minutes, got absorbed in a battle, and 20 minutes later sniffed smoke. Ran to the kitchen, the pan was empty, of course, smoke everywhere. Without thinking i grab the pan and race outside. Molten metal dripped off the bottom and sizzled marks on the wooden floor and then the rug as I ran the 15 steps or so outside. In retrospect, I'm lucky that shiat didn't drop on my bare feet, as I'd probably lose a toe. Damn that would have sucked.

Moral of the story: I was an idiot as a kid. Ah hell, I'm still an idiot.

You should go put a pan of oil on the stove.

I see what you lid there.

cryinoutloud: basemetal: cryinoutloud: I went inside and started cleaning up using white gas (Coleman camping stuff.)

Shaking my head.

What do you use to get tar off of you? I wasn't smoking.

Do it outside with LOTS of ventilation. You know those meth fires you always read about........no ventilation.

First thing you should do for a flammable liquid fire is smother it with a few pounds of gunpowder.

My old neighbor just got the siding redone on his house. Brand new white vinyl. To celebrate, he had a barbecue. After lighting his grill (the big charcoal kind with the smoking attachement)he went to mingle with his guests, figuring he had an hour or so to kill before the coals were ready. Pity he had pushed his grill against the side of his house. Vinyl has a low melting point and the siding was warped and scorched all the way up to the second floor.

When I was a kid my mother had a pan fire, she moved it to the sink and pushed the faucet away and one drop of water fell and created a fire ball the caught the drapes on fire. It didn't go father than that though.

notmtwain: That's not funny. Pouring water on it is the last thing you should do. It will vaporize and spatter flaming oil everywhere.

The joke
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Your head

Heck, this ain't news. It happens all the time. I've been to at least half a dozen with my little volunteer fire departmetn. Just turn the burner off and put a lid on it is apparently beyond the comprehension of most folk.

Here's what they do if the don't grab the pot. They grab the extinguisher, get a foot away, and spray it directly into the pot. The nitrogen gas propellant, still travelling at full speed, travels through the oil and hits the bottom of the pot. The sides of the pot act as a barrel and redirects the displaced oil directly back at the mope holding the extinguisher. At best, all facial hair disappears. At worst, you get a face full of boiling oil.

They'll tell the paper "I sprayed the extinguisher and it made the fire just explode."

If the extinguisher instructions say get six feet away, it will not work better if you get closer.

studebaker hoch: First thing you should do for a flammable liquid fire is smother it with a few pounds of gunpowder.

That's not funny. That could cause an explosion.

Back in 92 when I was 13, my father moved us to south Florida (his first of many dumbass choices as a single parent) after getting custody in a nasty divorce. Without an at-home wife around, he knew nothing about running a household, especially cooking. One night, I'm in my room playing SNES and I hear him yell for me to come downstairs. I head downstairs and see flames jumping out of a big pot that you'd normally use to boil a pound of pasta. Apparently, he had emptied an entire bottle of vegetable oil in the pot and cranked the stove on high so he could make fries. He grabs the pot, runs it over to the sink, and turns the faucet on full blast.

KABOOOOOM!

F*cling sparks fly everywhere, it was like a bomb went off. I didn't even wait to see how he was, I just turned and ran (for a good visual of what this was like, think of the scene in the Watchmen trailer when Silk Spectre II goes all Zack Snyder slo-mo in front of that explosion). Lucky for my father, he got away relatively unharmed, even though from my angle it looked like the explosion had swallowed him whole. Our neighbors who lived across from our kitchen window had rushed over, and when I asked if they saw what happened, they said:

"No - we heard it".

basemetal: Do it outside with LOTS of ventilation. You know those meth fires you always read about........no ventilation.

Ah! That's what went wrong last time. Well, as soon as it stops raining here, I'm going outside to make my meth.