How about 80,000 condoms for each of the morons that keep knocking up women they have no intention of marrying?

1 month of UltraFa+++++&*( CARRIER LOST

Just think of all the bullets and tanks and fighter jets we could have bought with that money! Really cool, kickass things! But no! We're spending it on stupid boring things like bridges and roads and tax relief and high-speed trains.

Well, that last one is kinda cool.

It'd be a great down payment on a 20 year occupation of Iran.

I think it would be much more useful to know how many times $787 billion worth of hot dogs could stretch to the moon and back.

And I'm here to post the obligatory "1,574,000 chicks at the same time"

How about a goddamn article that doesn't require multiple clicks?

eddyatwork: How about a goddamn article that doesn't require multiple clicks?

they are teh suck

I would buy three.

One president and about 350 Congressmen.

Bernard Madoff, a prominent money manager and former chairman of the Nasdaq Stock Market, was accused of a $50 billion Ponzi scheme. The stimulus costs could cover the total money lost in this enormous scam 16 times over.

Translation: The writer ran out of ideas on what the 787 bill could cover so he needed filler. He pulled a recent story out of his ass, grabbed his calculator and felt that 16 times X was good enough.

I thought when they did things like this they normally wanted ASTRONOMICAL numbers to show the size of the thing. A 4th grader could have figured out the madoff example.

Hang On Voltaire: eddyatwork: How about a goddamn article that doesn't require multiple clicks?

they are teh suck

I clicked through the list. It was all boring stuff. The TF list would have to include Salma Hayek. We just had a thread the other day about her hooking up with some wrinkly French billionaire.

Just saying

pecosdave: Just saying

How much for a whole one?

900,000 hookers and enough blow for the whole weekend.

$787B could buy:

Another six years in Iraq?

Dust: $787B could buy:

Another six years in Iraq?

Iraq is not a war for the second decade of this millenium. For that, we must invade...Venezuela!

You could blow $786B and still have a billion left over to live on.

NightOwl2255: You could blow $786B and still have a billion left over to live on.

That's my plan!

You know, only Americans would use the Big Mac as an index. I always find it amusing when i see these lists and see "would buy xxx Big Macs" on it.

/rabid anti-MacDonaldist

The Stealth Hippopotamus: pecosdave: Just saying

How much for a whole one?

Hey, it's fully-functional.

Can you buy solvency?

TIMES 157400000000!

THAT IS 23 $5 FOOTLONGS FOR EACH PERSON ON EARTH.

If it gets me one good economy, I'll take it.

How about peace, prosperity and a golden future?

No?

Ok, let's float some financial deadbeats because "They're too big to fail".


That had to have been the worst cop-out in the history of cop-outs.

/hates people that make millions more than me
//would spend that much on hookers, blow and bling like a rapstar

A shiatload of hookers and blow.

/OBVIOUSLY!

snuff3r: You know, only Americans would use the Big Mac as an index. I always find it amusing when i see these lists and see "would buy xxx Big Macs" on it.

/rabid anti-MacDonaldist

I see how it is. The Whopper lobby has gotten to you, haven't they?

Lando Lincoln: Just think of all the bullets and tanks and fighter jets we could have bought with that money! Really cool, kickass things! But no! We're spending it on stupid boring things like bridges and roads and tax relief and high-speed trains.

Well, that last one is kinda cool.

Looks like someone needs to read the bill.

15,740,000,000 lap dances....

or

2.34 Brazillians


/week
//veal

eddyatwork : How about a goddamn article that doesn't require multiple clicks?

How about a firefox extension that fixes it?

/need to disable version compatibility checking.

I'm interested in how high a stack of 787 billion $1 dollar bills would reach.

Is 1/2 of the tax cuts Republicans and Bush gave to the rich in 2001 on that list?

Remember When: Congress Passes $1.4 Trillion Economic Package (new window)

$787 billion? Do you know how many lotto tickets that could buy?

Adequate sustenance for the Dr. Who festival this weekend?

How about $2 million for every man, woman and child in the US population? (with some left over to not even use wastefully)

Talk about boosting the economy. No one would default on the home mortgages, new cars would be bought...

But no, lets give it to companies to piss away.

Rickmansworth: TIMES 157400000000!

THAT IS 23 $5 FOOTLONGS FOR EACH PERSON ON EARTH.

Which means each person gets about 1 sandwiches' worth of actual cold cuts and cheese

Stupid article. Stupid suggestions. I was hoping it was going to compare it to acts a reasonable politician would make, such as providing health care to the poor. Who cares how many mansions or big macs it would buy? I don't need to see that to know that 787B is a big number.

Seriously...a Death Star would be amazing. Too bad its science fiction. Why don't we just build a huge nuclear war bomb and completely blow up the planet? Problem solved!

/I don't want to be responsible. How'd I explain to God I wiped out the human race and silenced sextillions of future descendants because I wanted to fix an economic crisis?

RFID implants for everyone legally in America.

I wish they would have just given regular folk the money. If I get money, I'm not going to invest it - I'm going to spend that shiz.

five....
five....
five dollar foot loo-oooongs!

Never even been to the damn place but that's currently my favorite song.

Forbes magazine estimated that the Celtics were worth $447 million last year. With the stimulus funds, you could buy the Celtics about 1,760 times.

Nooooo...You could buy them ONCE. After that, you'd have to seel the Celtics, and then buy them back again.

or...

You could just say that the money is 1,760 times the value of the team.

pecosdave: Just saying

Fair enough. But how much for a new one? That one was ridden hard.

Does it cover migit hookers, and tequila ???

How about a bail out to bail me out when cought with said hookers?

Eddie Adams from Torrance: 900,000 hookers and enough blow for the whole weekend.

Did you figure in the number of straws you'd need to do lines off all their asses?

toetag:

But no, lets give it to companies to piss away.

We are not giving it to "companies". Do you understand the difference between the bail-out and the stimulus?

1/3 are tax breaks to mostly the middle class.

The top paid employee in the entire state of Taxachusetts is the dean of the College of Natural Resources and the Environment at UMass?

Waht da Fark?

i'll tell you what i'd buy... two chicks

Corvus: Is 1/2 of the tax cuts Republicans and Bush gave to the rich in 2001 on that list?

Remember When: Congress Passes $1.4 Trillion Economic Package (new window)

The rich? I make 60k a year. I am rich? Those cuts expire and I will get to pay 28% opposed to the 25% now.

FACT, I would buy millions of Wendy's Spicy Chicken Sandwhiches, FACT