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(BBC) Scary Mugabe swears in his new cabinet to deal with 90% unemployment, 231,000,000% inflation and a cholera outbreak. (w/ pic of Tsvangirai ready to biatchslap Mugabe)   (news.bbc.co.uk) divider line 57
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4090 clicks; posted to Politics » on 13 Feb 2009 at 1:56 AM   |  Make this a Fark FavoriteFavorite    |   share: Share on OMGTWITTER WEB2.0share on StumbleUponshare on Facebook  more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!

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jake_lex [TotalFark] 2009-02-13 01:51:09 AM  
The economic situation in Zimbabwe is just mind-boggling. Here's my thought on reading TFA: if unemployment is 90% (and, actually, according to TFA, it's <i>at least</i> 90%), how does the 10% of the work force that is employed have a job?

I guess it speaks to a drastic societal stratification, and that 10% of the population owns everything, but how can that last?

 
NewportBarGuy [TotalFark] 2009-02-13 01:54:20 AM  
jake_lex: how does the 10% of the work force that is employed have a job?

Can you handle a weapon? Congratulations! You have a job in Zimbabwe.

Seriously, it's all Army and government work. The private sector there is dead.

 
Karma Chameleon 2009-02-13 02:13:42 AM  
You misspelled Obama

 
Argh2 2009-02-13 02:15:18 AM  
NewportBarGuy: jake_lex: how does the 10% of the work force that is employed have a job?

Can you handle a weapon? Congratulations! You have a job in Zimbabwe.

Seriously, it's all Army and government work. The private sector there is dead.


There's always going to be SOME economic activity, even if it's just bartering meat for prostitutes. So I'm guessing the 10% refers to employment for money. In which case, I'm surprised it's so high.

 
CurvedGirdle 2009-02-13 02:18:22 AM  
From a layman's (my) pov, this is better than nothing. If Tsvangirai is what he's cracked up to be, then once the people see that the government departments under his control are cleaning up their act, then Mugabe will lose his popular support and have only notional authority, and foreign leaders will probably forget Mugabe (like how everyone still wants to talk to Putin instead of Medvedev).

 
Argh2 2009-02-13 02:18:47 AM  
Karma Chameleon:

Dude. you don't have to like the guy, and I can respect people disagreeing with him on both practical and ideological grounds - but you're just being a douchebag.

 
unyon [TotalFark] 2009-02-13 02:20:21 AM  
Karma Chameleon: You misspelled Obama

There aren't enough 'o's in smooth to describe that troll.

 
Insertwitty Namehere 2009-02-13 02:23:23 AM  
Mugabe's first pick, Tim Geithner, was unavailable.

 
thirdful 2009-02-13 02:24:56 AM  
You know I have a possible solution & it worked wonderfully before.

Take away land from idiots and give it to the EXPERIENCED WHITE farmers. You know, the ones you took the land from to give back to the black people (aka govt friends & family). Sure you can take it back in 50 or so years, just make sure those you give it to know HOW to farm next time around.

 
CurvedGirdle 2009-02-13 02:29:13 AM  
thirdful: You know I have a possible solution & it worked wonderfully before.

Take away land from idiots and give it to the EXPERIENCED WHITE farmers. You know, the ones you took the land from to give back to the black people (aka govt friends & family). Sure you can take it back in 50 or so years, just make sure those you give it to know HOW to farm next time around.


While I get your idea, I think the best model for "gradual decolonization" would be to do what Hong Kong did: leave the British guys running the show for 50 years before full indigenization. Sure, the UK-China treaties have no language like that, but in practice that is what is happening---their government business is still in English, the "supreme court" judges are mostly British (except the No. 1, who is Chinese for obvious reasons), etc etc.

That way a whole generation or two can learn how it's done, and have experienced friends who can help out when the shiat hits the fan.

 
whidbey [TotalFark] 2009-02-13 02:31:36 AM  
unyon: Karma Chameleon: You misspelled Obama

There aren't enough 'o's in smooth to describe that troll.


And yet, you're all thinking it...

 
PeppaJack [TotalFark] 2009-02-13 02:34:02 AM  
CurvedGirdle: thirdful: You know I have a possible solution & it worked wonderfully before.

Take away land from idiots and give it to the EXPERIENCED WHITE farmers. You know, the ones you took the land from to give back to the black people (aka govt friends & family). Sure you can take it back in 50 or so years, just make sure those you give it to know HOW to farm next time around.

While I get your idea, I think the best model for "gradual decolonization" would be to do what Hong Kong did: leave the British guys running the show for 50 years before full indigenization. Sure, the UK-China treaties have no language like that, but in practice that is what is happening---their government business is still in English, the "supreme court" judges are mostly British (except the No. 1, who is Chinese for obvious reasons), etc etc.

That way a whole generation or two can learn how it's done, and have experienced friends who can help out when the shiat hits the fan.


You take that back. Reason has no place in Africa or in a Fark thread.

 
NobleHam 2009-02-13 02:34:49 AM  
CurvedGirdle: thirdful: You know I have a possible solution & it worked wonderfully before.

Take away land from idiots and give it to the EXPERIENCED WHITE farmers. You know, the ones you took the land from to give back to the black people (aka govt friends & family). Sure you can take it back in 50 or so years, just make sure those you give it to know HOW to farm next time around.

While I get your idea, I think the best model for "gradual decolonization" would be to do what Hong Kong did: leave the British guys running the show for 50 years before full indigenization. Sure, the UK-China treaties have no language like that, but in practice that is what is happening---their government business is still in English, the "supreme court" judges are mostly British (except the No. 1, who is Chinese for obvious reasons), etc etc.

That way a whole generation or two can learn how it's done, and have experienced friends who can help out when the shiat hits the fan.


Hong Kong was FAR more developed before the British left anyway, and Zimbabwe's problems are much worse than those just caused by kicking the rich white people out. They need some serious foreign investment if they're going to recover, but no one's going to invest there while things are so bad. I don't know how to fix things, I don't think anyone can say for sure, but getting a less corrupt government is a good start.

 
NewportBarGuy [TotalFark] 2009-02-13 02:35:36 AM  
CurvedGirdle: Take away land from idiots and give it to the EXPERIENCED WHITE farmers.

Yeah, they TOTALLY want to go back and risk their families. What crack are you smoking?

 
DoctorWorm21045 2009-02-13 02:37:55 AM  
thirdful: You know I have a possible solution & it worked wonderfully before.

Take away land from idiots and give it to the EXPERIENCED WHITE farmers. You know, the ones you took the land from to give back to the black people (aka govt friends & family). Sure you can take it back in 50 or so years, just make sure those you give it to know HOW to farm next time around.


This, while a good idea, seems politically infeasible. A decent compromise would be to at least subcontract out the management of the farms to experienced farmers, most likely westerners, while letting the actual Africans retain ownership of the land. That accomplishes what you're aiming for, but removes the somewhat messy issues of ownership and colonialism.

 
This Is Bold Text [TotalFark] 2009-02-13 02:39:08 AM  
I'll take jobs I do not want for $1000, Alex.

 
Sym_pathetic 2009-02-13 02:40:26 AM  
THE ARISTOCRATS!

 
CurvedGirdle 2009-02-13 02:49:45 AM  
NewportBarGuy: CurvedGirdle: Take away land from idiots and give it to the EXPERIENCED WHITE farmers.

Yeah, they TOTALLY want to go back and risk their families. What crack are you smoking?


You might want to direct your comment to thirdful :D

 
NewportBarGuy [TotalFark] 2009-02-13 03:00:48 AM  
CurvedGirdle: You might want to direct your comment to thirdful :D

Thousand apologies. How did that happen?

 
apistat 2009-02-13 03:34:21 AM  
What point is there to holding down an actual, paying job when inflation is 231,000,000%?

 
King Something [TotalFark] 2009-02-13 03:36:14 AM  
Nuke the country from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.

 
Argh2 2009-02-13 03:40:06 AM  
thirdful: You know I have a possible solution & it worked wonderfully before.

Take away land from idiots and give it to the EXPERIENCED WHITE farmers. You know, the ones you took the land from to give back to the black people (aka govt friends & family). Sure you can take it back in 50 or so years, just make sure those you give it to know HOW to farm next time around.


While I completely agree that farmland should belong to, you know, FARMERS, I think you might want to think that through - the whites took the land from the blacks to begin with, which was why Mugabe and the blacks took it back. Turning around and giving it yet again to the whites, regardless of the reasoning, kind of ignores basic human crowd psychology.

 
Falcc 2009-02-13 03:41:33 AM  
Insertwitty Namehere: Mugabe's first pick, Tim Geithner, was unavailable.

I LOL'd.

 
WFern 2009-02-13 03:45:14 AM  
Don't worry, folks. Mugabe will address this crisis as he does with any other: by blaming "white devils" and homosexuals.

 
ilambiquated 2009-02-13 03:57:05 AM  
Good luck Tsvangirai. You're on your own.

 
ilambiquated 2009-02-13 03:58:19 AM  
Insertwitty Namehere: Mugabe's first pick, Tim Geithner, was unavailable.

Which goes to show you don't know anything about what's going on in Zimbabwe or America.

 
RabidDog [TotalFark] 2009-02-13 04:00:36 AM  
What about Sengala? Do they still have the CIP device?

 
jonnypeh [TotalFark] 2009-02-13 04:15:23 AM  
that is a good start. a good example is Botswana, which apparently had an economic growth of 9% every year for 30 years since 1966. thanks to it's very low corruption levels compared to the rest of Africa and it's vast resources. though nowadays they got HIV-problems, but at least those are being addressed by the government. they are doing very well, compare to nearby Angola, which is ripe with corruption.

SA however seems to be going down to rock bottom at current rate, especially considering how SOUTH AFRICA'S ruling African National Congress (ANC) has veered sharply to the left and will go into elections, expected to be held in April, with a manifesto largely dictated by the country's Communist party, according to senior party officials. (new window)

the country is already the crime capital of the world, so the footy world cup in SA in 2010 should be fun, eh.

 
ilambiquated 2009-02-13 04:17:11 AM  
Tsvangirai ran against Mugabe for president and won last year. Then Mugabe stole the election.

 
NewportBarGuy [TotalFark] 2009-02-13 04:46:51 AM  
Remove all Republicans: He should have just pulled out a gun and ended this farce.

I almost never agree with that plan.

However, I volunteer to pull the trigger.

 
FlameDuck 2009-02-13 05:40:24 AM  
There is now FAIL like Mugabe FAIL

 
Phaid 2009-02-13 06:01:23 AM  
Karma Chameleon: You misspelled Obama

Dammit I was going to say that.

 
Bloody William 2009-02-13 07:32:50 AM  
Zimbabwe isn't going to have any chance until Mugabe is farking dead.

 
ElwoodPDowd 2009-02-13 07:58:33 AM  
I really hate to say it, but if the people won't/can't learn to farm... and they won't let the farmers farm... fark 'em.

 
Comic Book Guy 2009-02-13 08:31:10 AM  
apistat: What point is there to holding down an actual, paying job when inflation is 231,000,000%?

You wish it was that low. Try 89.7 SEXTILLION percent, and rising. If you try to cash a check, you have to make it out for double since during the time it clears it's value would have depleted by HALF.

 
4th Yorkshireman of the Apocalypse 2009-02-13 08:56:02 AM  
Relax, there's a plan in place.

1) My good friend Pestilence helps to get the population of Africa down to a reasonable number.

2) The U.S. follows the same political plan that helped out the ZA people so well, transitioning away from white rule.

3) The US and South Africa become economic equals, and beloved trading partners.

 
Swampthing in Korea 2009-02-13 09:08:22 AM  
Is it possible to actually watch a portion of humanity physically devolve?

If so, my money is on Zimbabwe as an example.

 
Insertwitty Namehere 2009-02-13 09:27:21 AM  
ilambiquated: Which goes to show you don't know anything about what's going on in Zimbabwe or America.

Fark = Serious Business, I see that now. Thank you.

 
Spanky_McFarksalot 2009-02-13 09:28:40 AM  
Karma Chameleon: You misspelled Obama

OK, that's funny.

 
GoodyearPimp 2009-02-13 09:31:25 AM  
Comic Book Guy: You wish it was that low. Try 89.7 SEXTILLION percent, and rising. If you try to cash a check, you have to make it out for double since during the time it clears it's value would have depleted by HALF.

I was gonna make the same comment. Keep in mind they've chopped 22 zeros off their currency since July. 300 zimbabwe dollars (as of the time of the most recent removal of 12 zeros a couple weeks ago) =
1 american dollar =
3,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 zimbabwe dollars last July (that's 3 septillion).

 
Fark-the-Fnord 2009-02-13 09:33:01 AM  
Does anyone else find it ironic that 24 is a lot alike this situation? Maybe we should send Jack Baurer into Zimbabwe to take down Mugabe.

 
SeismicJizzer 2009-02-13 09:35:17 AM  
Why isn't this guy in jail?

 
obzerver 2009-02-13 10:04:08 AM  
I can't believe they elected a black guy. They must want to be like America.

 
mongbiohazard 2009-02-13 10:05:14 AM  
Mugabe needs to die. Seriously. It's despicable that he's allowed to continue perpetuating that horror show. Find him, send a plane and destroy the building he's in. Since he's intentionally perpetuating the situation there then NO leadership would be by default better than his, and luckily there are opposition figures there who could step in and take a shot at it.

I think it's outrageous that the international community allows him to continue the horrible things he's doing to the people of that country. It's not a grey-area case. The guy's a farking monster.

 
Jubeebee 2009-02-13 10:06:43 AM  
SeismicJizzer: Why isn't this guy in jail?

Hard to rebel when it takes every waking moment just to get enough money to buy a sandwich. International diplomatic pressure is worthless; what effect would sanctions have at this point? So they go from 23 billion percent inflation to 30 billion percent inflation. At that point, who cares? And no country or alliance is both willing and able to send in a military force to arrest him.

 
Arnold T Pants 2009-02-13 10:24:05 AM  
It's weird that printing money and spending it didn't solve their problems. Keynes says you can always spend your way out of economic problems.

 
Hat Madder 2009-02-13 10:24:18 AM  
Remove all Republicans: He should have just pulled out a gun and ended this farce.

"I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will faithfully execute the office of President."

Or "execute the office of the President faithfully", either would work in this case.

 
oldweevil 2009-02-13 10:35:40 AM  
Karma Chameleon: You misspelled Obama

FTFA: Robert Mugabe (R) swore his rival, Mr Tsvangirai, into office on Wednesday

Since Mugabe is a Republican, it's clear that this comparison is off.

 
RockyMtnMan 2009-02-13 10:35:46 AM  
If he calls me, gives me a plane ticket, and a house to live in, I'd be willing to become the Secretary of Information Technology.

What do you think they are running over there. Windows 3.0 or something?

 
mynameismark 2009-02-13 11:12:47 AM  
What is needed is a Seal team equipped with the latest and greatest in sniper rifles to move in.

Or just a few carpets bomb sorties of the block he's on.

Problem solved. Well, it's a start anyway.

Seriously though, if we have the mentality that killing a leader is wrong, how do we justify letting that leader in power while many are dying under him?

/we are such pussies anymore

 
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