Am I a pervert for assuming this article was going to be about a drunk guy, um, spackling a minor?

you're among friends, PervertTheRed

PenguinTheRed
Am I a pervert for assuming this article was going to be about a drunk guy, um, spackling a minor?

No. I really don't know what it says about us, but I clicked on the article expecting just that.

Nice to meet you, Pervmedius

Same here -- assumed the bloke threw his shrimp onto barbie.

It says you guys are a bunch of pervs who need locking up, your heads probed with Black & Decker drills, and your rectums probed by, well, drills.

I, for one, actually thought it was about a 16 years ancient crustacean, like a restaurant mascot, captured and eaten.

Not what I expected, but clever headline.

berylman: I, for one, actually thought it was about a 16 years ancient crustacean, like a restaurant mascot, captured and eaten.





Agreed

Subby +1
Great headline

Ahhh... Crestview, FL...

I don't know if it's still there, but a few years back there was a Ku Klux Klan website that declared Crestview, FL was the location of the national HQ for the KKK.

This beer can story seems to fit into the Crestview ambiance very nicely.

Gyrfalcon: It says you guys are a bunch of pervs who need locking up, your heads probed with Black & Decker drills, and your rectums probed by, well, drills.

You said drills twice.

Beer battery?

It doesn't say in the article at all about what kind of beer it was. Dark? Ale? Animal can beer?

Too much information left out of the story to make a judgment here.

Textbook headline. +1

FTA: "The boy balled himself into a fetal position to protect himself from the attack."

That's a manly man there.

FTA:The man punched him in the face, yelled, "the (name deleted) brothers are back," and left the home.

Wanted for questioning:


/not gonna let em catch me

berylman: I, for one, actually thought it was about a 16 years ancient crustacean, like a restaurant mascot, captured and eaten.

I actually imagined a man had assaulted a teen with scalding oil.

Before RTFA, I thought the headline was about cops arresting a restaurant chef for boozing up rancid shrimp and getting patrons sick and/or minors drunk.

+1finity

PenguinTheRed: Am I a pervert for assuming this article was going to be about a drunk guy, um, spackling a minor?

Well you're not the only one takin a seat over there

Ryankenny: Same here -- assumed the bloke threw his shrimp ontointo barbie.

FTFY

Is this your homework yes or no?


Have you ever heard of Vietnam?

Gyrfalcon: It says you guys are a bunch of pervs who need locking up, your heads probed with Black & Decker drills, and your rectums probed by, well, drills.

I didn't see where anyone said that's what they wanted to see, only that's what they expected to see, this is, after all, Fark.

thereadlines: Gyrfalcon: It says you guys are a bunch of pervs who need locking up, your heads probed with Black & Decker drills, and your rectums probed by, well, drills.

You said drills twice.

He likes drills.

PenguinTheRed
thereadlines: Gyrfalcon: It says you guys are a bunch of pervs who need locking up, your heads probed with Black & Decker drills, and your rectums probed by, well, drills.

You said drills twice.

He likes drills.

That's what he gets for hangin' 'round Blueberry Hill.

FTA:The man punched him in the face, yelled, "the (name deleted) brothers are back," and left the home.

I'm thinking this was the oldest Hanson bringing the smackdown on one of the Jonas bros, in an attempt to let them know their return to the Billboard charts is eminent (spell check?).

berylman: I, for one, actually thought it was about a 16 years ancient crustacean, like a restaurant mascot, captured and eaten.

i thought it was about a crustacean that was sitting in the back of some freezer for 16 years

"Beer battering"?

Oh, fark.

One night when I was a teenager, a few friends and I were driving around and saw this drunk dude trying to carry a case of beer (bottles) down the street. We got this idea to run up on him and take his beer, but when we were about 20 feet behind him, he spun around, dropped his case and started winging bottles at our heads. He missed all of us except my boy Frankie, who ended up needing stitches across his forehead. The guy left his beer, but cops were coming so we bagged ass.

This story has no point, but my wife gets mad as hell when I tell it at parties.

/It's like, my favorite story though :(

They were black right?

The man punched him in the face, yelled, "the (name deleted) brothers are back," and left the home.

Blues?
Corsican?
Marx?
Warner?
Band of?

That coward David Lopan: FTA:The man punched him in the face, yelled, "the (name deleted) brothers are back," and left the home.

I'm thinking this was the oldest Hanson bringing the smackdown on one of the Jonas bros, in an attempt to let them know their return to the Billboard charts is eminent (spell check?).

Not being young, These are the Hanson's I first thought of

overlord:
Blues?
Corsican?
Marx?
Warner?
Band of?

I think it was the Festrunk brothers.

"Man attacks teen with beer can"

I read this and thought, the kid shouldn't have a damn beer can. I would attack him also to get at that delicious beer.

Overlord: The man punched him in the face, yelled, "the (name deleted) brothers are back," and left the home.

Blues?
Corsican?
Marx?
Warner?
Band of?

Chemical?

MrGronk: Overlord: The man punched him in the face, yelled, "the (name deleted) brothers are back," and left the home.

Blues?
Corsican?
Marx?
Warner?
Band of?

Chemical?

Big?
Nelson?
Jonas?

"A 32-year-old man was arrested for battery after he attacked a 16-year-old with a beer can."

Well of course he was mad. Was was a 16 year old doing with a beer can?

mediablitz: "A 32-year-old man was arrested for battery after he attacked a 16-year-old with a beer can."

Well of course he was mad. Was was a 16 year old doing with a beer can?

Er, "What" was

/always great to fark up when you are complaining about poor grammar.

BuddyLuv beat me to it.

Once he had identified the kid, he struck him in the face with the can. The boy balled himself into a fetal position to protect himself from the attack.

this should require a pussy tag

wiredtolain: Once he had identified the kid, he struck him in the face with the can. The boy balled himself into a fetal position to protect himself from the attack.

this should require a pussy tag

ok, tough guy. what would you do after getting cold cocked with a beer can?

It's better that he beer battered a 16 year old than baby battered a 16 year old...

/Alliteration
//Yummy

bugmn99: One night when I was a teenager, a few friends and I were driving around and saw this drunk dude trying to carry a case of beer (bottles) down the street. We got this idea to run up on him and take his beer, but when we were about 20 feet behind him, he spun around, dropped his case and started winging bottles at our heads. He missed all of us except my boy Frankie, who ended up needing stitches across his forehead. The guy left his beer, but cops were coming so we bagged ass.

This story has no point, but my wife gets mad as hell when I tell it at parties.

/It's like, my favorite story though :(

All due respect, it sounds like you all got what you deserved.

Still funny.

MMM, love 'em battered.

chef_riggy: /Steve Irwin special
/Oh Crikey! Shhh! It's a native Northwest Florida Redneck in his natural 'abitat! 'E's stomping out of 'his pickup truck and over to that trailer, an' carryin' a beer--but wait a second, 'e's not drinkin' it! What's up there? "Old on, 'e's smashin' on the screen door, talkin' ta somebody--'ere comes a smaller one..WHOA! 'E used the beer as a missile! I never seen that one coming...

Then Steve would wrestle him down, and try to put his finger in the old fella's cloaca.

Ahh good times... good times.

Ikahoshi: chef_riggy: /Steve Irwin special
/Oh Crikey! Shhh! It's a native Northwest Florida Redneck in his natural 'abitat! 'E's stomping out of 'his pickup truck and over to that trailer, an' carryin' a beer--but wait a second, 'e's not drinkin' it! What's up there? "Old on, 'e's smashin' on the screen door, talkin' ta somebody--'ere comes a smaller one..WHOA! 'E used the beer as a missile! I never seen that one coming...

Then Steve would wrestle him down, and try to put his finger in the old fella's cloaca.

Ahh good times... good times.

Its the only way to sex them accuratly.