Domestic violence is never ok, even if the --- wait, she did Umbrella? I have a little bloodlust!!

/Well, the real target should be the people who actually wrote, played and produced the song, rather than the unfortunate twit who "sang" it.

//Also, how about one day people not "hooking up" (as the kids say) with people who are obviously low-grade trash?

I can honestly say I have no idea who either of these people are.

/get off my lawn

I'd hit it, but in a respectful and loving manner.

Umbrella?

Have a listen to this crap, and see who you want to pop in the chops.

On one hand, their absence makes the Grammy's somewhat more watchable; on the other hand, their presence could've provided a modicum of entertainment.

Like Natalie Imbruglia, I'm torn.

FTFA:

""The identity of the victim will not be released," said Officer April Harding, reports People. "Any victim who's involved in a domestic violence incident is entitled to confidentiality.""

It's common knowledge that Rihanna is Chris' girlfriend, and they live together. Domestic violence = Rihanna.

Crudbucket: I'd hit it, but in a respectful and loving manner.

Well done.

I like that song. Screw you, haters.

DoctorCal: Umbrella?

Have a listen to this crap, and see who you want to pop in the chops.

Good god, I could listen to her song 100x before wanting to kill, his song brings up instant rage.......


When will black folks get back to making decent music? God we need an earth wind and fire reunion.

Yes, but what of Omarion?

fark, I guess he was teaching her a more american way of solving things. She is the hotness.

Link

Some publicist has some 'splainin to do!

She makes me want to beat something too.

paulseta
Domestic violence is never ok, even if the --- wait, she did Umbrella? I have a little bloodlust!!

Apparently he was jealous of her hit, so he made one of his own.

/I hate hate hate that song-ong-ong

maybe he was just showing her his angry fist of god and things went terribly wrong?

He probably hit her in the forehead. How could you miss?

T-Luv: Yes, but what of Omarion?

I think he actually died tonight?!?! WTF?

He knows what them girls like, and apparently it's getting smacked in the mouth.

Uncle Pooky: T-Luv: Yes, but what of Omarion?

I think he actually died tonight?!?! WTF?

It must've been something you said.

If he doesn't stop Gozer, who will?

♫ It's like I waited my whole life (whoa-oh) for this one night (whoa-oa) I'm gonna beat you in that limo... ♫

/Window seat, please

Who is Chris Brown?

TeddyRooseveltsMustache: Who is Chris Brown? Gaines

The only thing I'd slap on Rhianna is that fiiiiiiine booty of hers.

Well, he turned himself in.

the plot thickens (and clickity pops)

TeddyRooseveltsMustache: Who is Chris BrownMike Jones?

Cuidado! Llamas!
Well, he turned himself in.

the plot thickens (and clickity pops)

In his defense, it's always him that ends up getting wet.

I think Chris misunderstood. Its "Pon de Replay" not "pound on the replay."

She has cancelled her appearance at tonight's Grammys. Poor thing. :-(

I'm not at all familiar with Rihanna, but her name always makes me smile... Largely because it reminds me of this.

bighasbeen: TeddyRooseveltsMustache: Who is Chris Brown? Gaines

I'm ashamed to admit it, but I kind of liked "Chris Gaines," or at least his music.

Well this news will shatter my little sisters world. silly Chris Brown you had it all

What kind of man, be it a celebrity or your average guy, thinks it's acceptable to hit a woman?


I'll never understand that.

Coco LaFemme: What kind of man, be it a celebrity or your average guy, thinks it's acceptable to hit a woman?


I'll never understand that.

Coco LaFemme: What kind of man, be it a celebrity or your average guy, thinks it's acceptable to hit a woman?


I'll never understand that.

Troll.

/kidding

I think I'll quote comments twice. That could be fun.

I think I'll quote comments twice. That could be fun.

vanhalenfan32: If he doesn't stop Gozer, who will?

Wrong Gozer, mate. Its this one

For all your hate of Umbrella, not one of you mentions how brilliant Mandy Moore's take of the same song is.

galactus5000: For all your hate of Umbrella, not one of you mentions how brilliant Mandy Moore's take of the same song is.

I'm pretty sure you're the only one on Fark, no, the only one with testicles to have heard this song.

Jarhed13
TeddyRooseveltsMustache: Who is Chris BrownMike Jones?

Who is Jimmy Ray?

Third_Uncle_Eno: Jarhed13
TeddyRooseveltsMustache: Who is Chris BrownMike Jones?

Who is Jimmy Ray?
who is john galt?

The AP version of this story is poorly written crap. I had to reread it a half-dozen times to figure out that they weren't calling Chris Brown a "former Led Zeppelin rocker". Also, how can any 19 year old have a "longtime girlfriend"?

/longtime farker who didn't know who these people were either

shawnshawnery: galactus5000: For all your hate of Umbrella, not one of you mentions how brilliant Mandy Moore's take of the same song is.

I'm pretty sure you're the only one on Fark, no, the only one with testicles to have heard this song.

Out of curiosity, I looked it up on the Youtube (clickity pop).

My favorite part is when she said, "I'm not a big Top 40s sort of listener and I don't tend to listen to this sort of music."

/she doesn't listen to her own genre of crappy music
//would still hit it

Umbrella is actually about the War in Iraq (seriously), maybe Chris Brown is a Cheney loyalist.

Crudbucket: /she doesn't listen to her own genre of crappy music
//would still hit it

She no longer does pop stuff, and has actually gone on record as saying that her time as a pop princess makes her cringe.

/Debbie Gibson for a new generation, if you will
//Honestly, I am straight
///I swear it.

galactus5000: Crudbucket: /she doesn't listen to her own genre of crappy music
//would still hit it

She no longer does pop stuff, and has actually gone on record as saying that her time as a pop princess makes her cringe.

/Debbie Gibson for a new generation, if you will
//Honestly, I am straight
///I swear it.

For the benefit of the doubt, I went to her website and listened to some of her recent tracks. I will admit that they're not quite as "bubbly pop" as her earlier stuff, but I still can't get behind it.

/you're lucky I was bored enough to check it out
//usually out banging my supermodel gf right about now

(She really is an artist beyond compare. A lot of people miss the underlying subtext, metaphor and basic postmodern insight that Umbrella offers. For the sake of those who cannot see this astonishing art, let me take you through the song. )

You had my heart, and we'll never be world apart
Maybe in magazines, but you'll still be my star
Baby cause in the dark, we can't see shiny cars
And that's when you need me there
With you I'll always share
Because

(Here is where you immediately should realise that she's engaging in a post-consumerist diatribe... deconstructing modern life in a Swiftian fashion well beyond that which you find in the works of lesser writers such as Dylan and Springsteen. Also note the racially charged used of "dark".)

When the sun shine
We'll shine together
Told you I'll be here forever
Said I'll always be your friend
Took an oath imma stick it out 'till the end
Now that it's raining more than ever
Know that we still have each other
You can stand under my umbrella
You can stand under my umbrella
(Ella ella eh eh eh)
Under my umbrella
(Ella ella eh eh eh)
Under my umbrella
(Ella ella eh eh eh)
Under my umbrella
(Ella ella eh eh eh eh eh eh)

(This is such a complex language construct, with so many ideas that it's difficult to analysis properly without employing a number a philosophies and sociological theories. The rain, of course, represents nuclear weapons. The "umbrella" of the title - and of course the chorus - is a veiled reference to the NATO umbrella over Western Europe and its allies. In this world of the song, however, there is no real safety except for the language of post Cold War diplomacy: the Ella ella eh eh eh eh eh signifying that even this language is subject to repetition; however in this case the repetition strengthens the message instead of diminishes it. She goes as far as to refer to the 'oath", which can only be the that of a military person, and then has the subtlety to mention the "stick", a la Roosevelt and his "walk softly" statement. There is also a bleakness or at least acknowledgment that times are tough: "now that it's raining more than ever".)

Fancy things, will never come in between
You're part of my entity, here for infinity
When the world has took it's part
When the world has dealt it's cards
If the hand is hard, together we'll mend your heart
Because

(Back to the dichotomy of materialism verses spirituality, with an incredible wordplay matching entity - the one, with infinity, the multitude. Then back to the idea of the world being a dangerous place, revealing its hand... and in this case, things are bad, both metaphorically and literally... but by coming back to the chorus, she restates with utter conviction the solidity of the military industrial complex put in place to protect her and her soul.)

People need to look at "Umbrella" with clear eyes and a sense of wonder at just how good art can get.

galactus5000: Crudbucket: /she doesn't listen to her own genre of crappy music
//would still hit it

She no longer does pop stuff, and has actually gone on record as saying that her time as a pop princess makes her cringe.

/Debbie Gibson for a new generation, if you will
//Honestly, I am straight
///I swear it.

Too bad her newest album was awful, and yes i gave it a try

00ghost27: Too bad her newest album was awful, and yes i gave it a try

You gave it a try, which makes you better than like 67% of ever other farker.

Domestic Disturbia-ance?

yeah its a stretch