Surprise! I may not love you!

I'm trying to get my wife to sign a suicide note.

Eh, how is this any different from cutting your spouse out of your will? I may be happily married, but if I decide that my assets go to my sister, and not my husband, when I die, that's within my rights. Postnups just don't have the death element involved.

I think this is smart. Prenups are even smarter, and that's what we have, but a postnup is better than nothing. These types of contracts remove the financial element from the relationship so that the two of you can focus on the emotional element. I prefer it that way.

Snakeophelia: Eh....

I too am a firm believer in fake internet arguments.

Oblio13: I'm trying to get my wife to sign a suicide note.

Honestly, I'm a little disturbed at how hard I laughed at that.

I may be happily married, but if I decide that my assets go to my sister, and not my husband, when I die, that's within my rights.

Check your state laws. In many states, 50% goes to your spouse regardless of what your will says.

Why in the hell would anyone ever sign one of these? What do you have to threaten them with? As soon as you show it to a gold-digger s/he can just shrug and take half of your shiat.

Just do like I do. Don't ever get married. Bang a bunch of hotties until you die.

Wow, what an a-hole-y thing to do. Of course, I've always felt that way about pre-nups as well. If you feel like you need to get them to sign a pre-nuptual agreement, don't marry them.

Honest honey, my JOB says I have to have one... seriously... just sign it.

"You have to protect yourself" from the one person in this life you're supposed to love and share everything with... until you die. And usually this pledge is not only done in front of everyone else you love and respect, but in the name of a diety you believe watches everything and promises you eternity of happiness provided you don't sully his/her sacraments. Yet, most people divorce anyway. In light of this, people are continually asking me why I don't get married. Is it me or is this sex-for-financial security pact smack of the bronze age.

"Just do like I do. Don't ever get married. Bang a bunch of hotties until you die."

haha. nice lifting gloves. posers like you get mocked at my gym.

AliasUndercover: Wow, what an a-hole-y thing to do. Of course, I've always felt that way about pre-nups as well. If you feel like you need to get them to sign a pre-nuptual agreement, don't marry them.

Depends, there are certain things it's best to keep financially separated, like if you own controlling shares of a company or something. Doesn't necessarily mean you're afraid of 'em taking it, just simplifies the legal aspects of ownership.

//A prenup is not necessarily all about what happens in the case of divorce.

ubertwit:
haha. nice lifting gloves. posers like you get mocked at my gym.

Threadjack a bit: what is the purpose of lifting gloves, exactly? A weight belt reinforces a weak point, but all gloves would seem to do is prevent you from developing calluses, which I can't see anyone really caring about all that much.

Snakeophelia: These types of contracts remove the financial element from the relationship so that the two of you can focus on the emotional element. I prefer it that way.

Okay, plan A is to get a prenup, this is plan B and the job thing is plan C. Thank you, Fark, you never fail to come through for me.

Wasn't this on 30 Rock a few weeks ago?

The only numbers that matter as you consider enslavement/marriage are 50/50.

people still get married? puke.

Why don't guys just marry someone who earns more than them?

/The ladies are getting all the college degrees now anyway, just give it time.

Jim_Callahan: Threadjack a bit: what is the purpose of lifting gloves, exactly? A weight belt reinforces a weak point, but all gloves would seem to do is prevent you from developing calluses, which I can't see anyone really caring about all that much.

Really? Girls sure seem to like that my hands are soft during a back rub. I guess some of them are into the scaly, hairy woodsman type, but not the ones I mess with.

And remember, we can't let gay people do this sort of thing because it would remove the sanctity of this contractual obligation.

Fark that. I say take all this crap out of the hands of government. Civil unions for all if you really want to involve city hall in who you intend to live your life with, but let's keep that entire concept separate from marriage. Separate as in "separation of church and state" separate. They say most marriages fall apart because of money pressures anyway - let's keep the money pressures divided from the marriage. That way you can marry whoever the hell you want, as many times as you want, if you can find a church to do it... and it'll mean nothing from a civil standpoint. You can also enter into contractual bondage with someone else financially significant to your existence, and it'll mean nothing from a spiritual standpoint.

Doesn't this seem like a better plan?

Drake: Civil unions for all if you really want to involve city hall in who you intend to live your life with, but let's keep that entire concept separate from marriage. Separate as in "separation of church and state" separate.

Because the church and state separation is working so well in the U.S. that we need the 10 Commandments posted in every public place; that they added "Under God" to the Pledge of Allegiance; every conservative commentator milks the "War on Christmas"; and even the Obama Administration sets up an Office of Faith-Based Initiatives.

There needs to be a legal union one step down from marriage for people to pledge to build their lives together, but only for as long as they both want to, or it's convenient for them. A partnership, if you will.

Dissolving a partnership could be much easier than divorcing. The truly serious ones could 'ascend' to marriage after, like, 20 years.

/will ascend in two years
//just as broke now as then
///I make the money

Omnivorous: Because the church and state separation is working so well in the U.S. that we need the 10 Commandments posted in every public place; that they added "Under God" to the Pledge of Allegiance; every conservative commentator milks the "War on Christmas"; and even the Obama Administration sets up an Office of Faith-Based Initiatives.

Exactly my point. We don't need government corrupting religion or religion corrupting government by allowing the two to bleed into each other.

Omnivorous: Drake: Civil unions for all if you really want to involve city hall in who you intend to live your life with, but let's keep that entire concept separate from marriage. Separate as in "separation of church and state" separate.

Because the church and state separation is working so well in the U.S. that we need the 10 Commandments posted in every public place; that they added "Under God" to the Pledge of Allegiance; every conservative commentator milks the "War on Christmas"; and even the Obama Administration sets up an Office of Faith-Based Initiatives.

I have this weird feeling that last bit is so that Fox News can't accuse him of ripping loaves of bread from the hands of the poor starving Christian children.

/But they would never do anything like that~

Nothing new. At all. If you get married and later start your own business you should be damn sure you sign a nuptial.. Unless you don't mind a vengeful former spous running half of your creation into the ground.

As far as assets, don't expect any judge to honor it unless it passes for what they consider "equitable". Pre nups are routinely cast aside by judges.

As far as men are concerned, it should be recognized that marriage and divorce law are completely biased against you, and a prenup is only a small measure in attempt to equalize it. And don't think equal salaries make a damn bit of difference.

If your soon to be wife really can not understand that, its time to head for the hills, imagine her attitude to the whole host of other issues that come up in marriage.

"Honey, let's get a divorce postnup."

You can't disinherit your wife in any state law that I have read. You can try, but the wife can elect against your will and get varying amounts depending on the state. Courts tend to frown on disinheriting.

Plus, according to the family law I have read, a prenup (and I would imagine a postnup) must be freely made with full financial disclosure and be substantively fair (plus lots of other things). Look at your state law. Judges get to construe these things.

Personally, unless you don't trust your spouse or you have a large inherited estate, I don't see the need.

"I am altering the deal, pray I don't alter it any further."

HiFiGuy: Wasn't this on 30 Rock a few weeks ago?

My first thought too.

AliasUndercover: Wow, what an a-hole-y thing to do. Of course, I've always felt that way about pre-nups as well. If you feel like you need to get them to sign a pre-nuptual agreement, don't marry them.

...there's another side to this coin. If she can't take me seriously enough, or isn't mature enough, to sign a legal contract with me that will make things easier on us in the unfortunate case that we get divorced...then maybe I shouldn't be marrying her.

Whats wrong with lifting gloves? mine are harbingers, the ones that have the wrist support... that support is worth its weight in gold and I don't lift without them.. Im no poser, i've lifted for years and take the hobby quite seriously.

The only posers I see, are people who wear under armor and have substantial guts... well, that and gold chains around their necks.

Mandapants: There needs to be a legal union one step down from marriage for people to pledge to build their lives together, but only for as long as they both want to, or it's convenient for them. A partnership, if you will.

Dissolving a partnership could be much easier than divorcing. The truly serious ones could 'ascend' to marriage after, like, 20 years.



I have been saying this for years. A couple wants to get married? It's valid for one calendar year. They then have a 30-day grace period in which to renew. Renewals are for five years each.

I think it's a much healthier approach than this business of choosing, at any given point in one's life, to live with another person until death.

"Oooooohhhhhh, Joe and Mary are the most amazing couple. I heard they've renewed 8 times!"

I first read the headline as: Old and Busted: Pinups. Fortunately, I managed to read the rest of the headline through my tears. I feel better now.

I have the answer if you want to leave your spouse nothing. Lose it all in the stock market crash and housing bubble burst. Makes no difference what you write, nothing is nothing.

/crying again thinking about the losses.

lol marriage

Nothing says happy valentine's day like fighting over the scraps of personal finance.

If they refuse to sign it, what next?

Marriage is a business. Treat is as such and you'll be much better off. If he/she doesn't sign, you are marrying/married the wrong person.

/Wife and I have post nup
//She made me sign. She's loaded.

"Serious" relationships suck. Where's the fun in that, and why would I want to have one?

Tjos Weel: I may be happily married, but if I decide that my assets go to my sister, and not my husband, when I die, that's within my rights.

Check your state laws. In many states, 50% goes to your spouse regardless of what your will says.

In a community property state, like California, it all goes to the surviving spouse-unless said spouse signs away such right, and usually it has to state specific numbers (percentages, etc) and the people who would get them. It would have to be outlined in the will, which is why many couples do a "joint" kind of will-and usually designate all of this stuff either way-if either one dies. But usually the primary benefactor is the spouse, followed by anyone else (if by some fate they both die at the same time, then it works its way down). Also, from what I've heard, in many states you have to leave each lawful heir (children) at least $1, or the will can be easily contested-but don't quote me on that one :)

I know when I did the forms for my 401k, if I wanted to designate anyone other than the wife as the primary benefactor, she had to sign the form authorizing it, and it had to be in the presence of a notary also.

"Half" only applies to divorce, and only if you have a really good lawyer. Its usually the starting point. :) I'm on wife #2-trust me on that one. If they refuse to sign the documents, the judge can decide or it can drag out-Most of the time to get out of it, either someone decides for you, or you give up a bit more to get the paperwork done. A prenup may help grease those wheels, but you'd be surprised what a savvy lawyer making cash can do to make those wheels stop turning, and you may wind up giving up more anyway. The only real answer of course is a better attorney on your side to draft the prenup, and to represent you also if things go sour.

/I am not a lawyer nor do I claim to be one :)
//I wound up giving up more to get the thing done.

Funny, a woman was interviewed as getting one, yet men are rarely the ones who sue for alimony and such...

Jim_Callahan: ubertwit:
haha. nice lifting gloves. posers like you get mocked at my gym.

Threadjack a bit: what is the purpose of lifting gloves, exactly? A weight belt reinforces a weak point, but all gloves would seem to do is prevent you from developing calluses, which I can't see anyone really caring about all that much.

Same reason that golfers wear a glove on their leading hand. Sweat decreases grip. Also, a lot of them have wrist reinforcement, which is nice.

Saborlas: "I am altering the deal, pray I don't alter it any further."

That is full of win.