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(ABC Action News) Unlikely It's called the 'Don't-Come-Near-Me-Diet'   (abcactionnews.com) divider line 57
More: Unlikely  
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dahmers love zombie [TotalFark] 2009-02-07 06:11:56 PM  
All in alliummy sounding diet. He probably doesn't have to worry about the Twilight crowd, which is a plus.

 
Megain [TotalFark] 2009-02-07 06:39:47 PM  
megain.smugmug.com

 
Control_this [TotalFark] 2009-02-07 07:11:43 PM  
In fact, get far enough away I never hear you come.

 
Newt13 2009-02-07 07:14:33 PM  
I bet he has a shiny coat and No fleas!

 
Theological Farker 2009-02-07 07:19:12 PM  
Control_this: In fact, get far enough away I never hear you come.

Most guys aren't screamers.

/aisle seat please, need room to stretch.

 
Tr0mBoNe [TotalFark] 2009-02-07 07:19:20 PM  
So I guess those fatties who smell like garlic and onions are just doing it wrong.

 
ferrigno [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-02-07 07:19:38 PM  
is this one of those 'Onion' stories?

 
worlddan 2009-02-07 07:21:52 PM  
Actually, that sounds like the average Farker's Girlfriend Diet.

 
The_Pole_Of_Justice 2009-02-07 07:22:00 PM  
Most restrictive diets will cause you to lose weight.

Try the yogurt and bacon diet!

Try the vegemite and liver pate diet!

Try the egg white and man gravy diet!

 
Three Crooked Squirrels [TotalFark] 2009-02-07 07:24:30 PM  
Megain, is that you?

 
ptr2void 2009-02-07 07:24:54 PM  
dahmers love zombie: All in alliummy sounding diet. He probably doesn't have to worry about the Twilight crowd, which is a plus.

I C whatchoo did there

 
CoRrUpTeDbUdGiE 2009-02-07 07:27:02 PM  
Eating onions and garlic here would result only in severe wind...

/needs a kite/bag of balloons
//whole roast onions dripping with cheese sauce nestled on a bed of couscous for dinner
///sat on a cushion hoping to muffle most of the noise
////working on communication in morse code without having to move for the next hour

 
HeartBurnKid 2009-02-07 07:29:15 PM  
I lost 70 pounds last year. I did it via the "count every freaking calorie like you're an accountant counting money" diet. AKA the Hacker Diet (google it; it's a lot of bookkepping, but it really does work)

 
Newt13 2009-02-07 07:31:44 PM  
Holy crap, AmandaHobear! I didn't know that. Why the fark do/did they market those garlic pills for dogs?

Thanks for the heads up.

 
captivity 2009-02-07 07:33:30 PM  
i240.photobucket.com

Not impressed

 
sn68f [TotalFark] 2009-02-07 07:37:17 PM  
www.geolog-mrak.bloger.hr

/hot like a raw white onion

 
CygnusDarius [TotalFark] 2009-02-07 07:41:53 PM  
dschealthproducts.com

 
Sylvia_Bandersnatch 2009-02-07 07:42:52 PM  
FTFA: The man weighed more than 360 pounds and doctors warned him to lose weight or risk dying.

So now he's at less risk of dying?

 
chandrika 2009-02-07 07:43:42 PM  
Why didnt he just get the fat sucked out of him with liposuction or a stomach staple like the rest of us do?

 
Ironclad2 2009-02-07 07:44:06 PM  
HeartBurnKid: I lost 70 pounds last year. I did it via the "count every freaking calorie like you're an accountant counting money" diet. AKA the Hacker Diet (google it; it's a lot of bookkepping, but it really does work)

Amen to that. Lost 50 pounds, myself. Unfortunately, I then started grad school and gained most of it back while studying for qualifying exams. Now in the process of working it off again.

 
earthworm2.0 2009-02-07 07:45:09 PM  
change his diet or risk dying

isn't death an inherent risk of life anyway? and after a diet like that, i wouldn't wanna live.

 
PirateFreedom 2009-02-07 07:49:45 PM  
I often chew raw garlic. I like the sting and dislike people.
People assume I do it for health reasons but they are wrong.

 
tbell83 2009-02-07 07:49:55 PM  
What garlic may look like:

www.abcactionnews.com

/hotlinked

 
Cup_O_Jo 2009-02-07 08:10:53 PM  
The_Pole_Of_Justice THIS. What you said. It's called-I quit eating and lost weight. He could have chosen yummier veggies. *silly man.

 
dbaggins 2009-02-07 08:17:24 PM  
earthworm2.0: change his diet or risk dying

isn't death an inherent risk of life anyway? and after a diet like that, i wouldn't wanna live.



To save all of fark the annoyance of this same 'humorous' observation being made again and again and again I will give you a hand. When you see "risk of dying" in a media article or lay dr. comment mentally insert "risk of prematurely dying"

it isn't hard. all the rest of us do this automatically with no discernible effort.

 
fusillade762 2009-02-07 08:21:12 PM  
Silly man, indeed. You don't need food to live. Just ask these guys.

Link

 
binaroundsum 2009-02-07 08:46:57 PM  
PirateFreedom

Quote 2009-02-07 07:49:45 PM
I often chew raw garlic. I like the sting and dislike people.
People assume I do it for health reasons but they are wrong.


I find your philosophies intriguing and would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

/eats a lot of garlic
/people dislike me, and all this time I thought it was because of my pllitics

 
binaroundsum 2009-02-07 08:48:25 PM  
pollitics

 
binaroundsum 2009-02-07 08:50:24 PM  
OK, I just refreshed my cocktail. Let's try again

politics

 
Dick Finger 2009-02-07 08:56:52 PM  
Motivation is the real key to weight loss.

 
HeartBurnKid 2009-02-07 09:10:00 PM  
dbaggins: earthworm2.0: change his diet or risk dying

isn't death an inherent risk of life anyway? and after a diet like that, i wouldn't wanna live.


To save all of fark the annoyance of this same 'humorous' observation being made again and again and again I will give you a hand. When you see "risk of dying" in a media article or lay dr. comment mentally insert "risk of prematurely dying"

it isn't hard. all the rest of us do this automatically with no discernible effort.


"Bart! We're gonna die!"
"Well, we're all gonna die, Lis."
"I meant soon!"
"So did I!"

 
RiverKing 2009-02-07 09:25:35 PM  
tbell83: What garlic may look like:



/hotlinked
File photo of heads of garlic on sale at a local produce market. (David Silverman, Getty Images)

bless you

 
Gyrfalcon [TotalFark] 2009-02-07 09:27:49 PM  
FTA: "One of the man's friends says that while he looks great "his breath is really rancid.""

And you REALLY don't want to be around when he farts.

 
odinsposse 2009-02-07 09:41:47 PM  
The_Pole_Of_Justice: Most restrictive diets will cause you to lose weight.

Try the yogurt and bacon diet!

Try the vegemite and liver pate diet!

Try the egg white and man gravy diet!


This. You could eat a pound of bacon a day and would lose weight.

Of course health wise you probably wouldn't be any better off when you finished than when you began.

 
Mentat [TotalFark] 2009-02-07 09:49:21 PM  
I love garlic, and I could care less if no one comes near me because of it. More garlic!

 
Megain [TotalFark] 2009-02-07 09:50:03 PM  
Three Crooked Squirrels: Megain, is that you?

heh. sure. i just decided to randomly aw this thread with my pic. look at me!

lol

 
Megain [TotalFark] 2009-02-07 09:51:35 PM  
Mentat: I love garlic, and I could care less if no one comes near me because of it. More garlic!

you could care less? how much less could you care?

 
bravian 2009-02-07 09:55:09 PM  
Ironclad2: Amen to that. Lost 50 pounds, myself. Unfortunately, I then started grad school and gained most of it back while studying for qualifying exams. Now in the process of working it off again.

Lost 10lbs of fat in the last year by the "stop drinking soda" diet.

/now at 140lbs

 
octopied 2009-02-07 09:58:20 PM  
People get super fat in Croatia?

 
binaroundsum 2009-02-07 09:59:22 PM  
Megain

you could care less? how much less could you care?

This. Pet peeve.

 
therhinodep 2009-02-07 10:14:03 PM  
When I read the headline, I thought it was going to be about a guy whose girlfriend refused to have sex with him until he lost some weight.

 
kunibob 2009-02-07 10:27:18 PM  
HeartBurnKid: I lost 70 pounds last year. I did it via the "count every freaking calorie like you're an accountant counting money" diet. AKA the Hacker Diet (google it; it's a lot of bookkepping, but it really does work)

Yep, that's how I lost the extra 44 pounds I was packing around. Exercise alone just wasn't cutting it -- had to track absolutely every last calorie as well.

/was eating healthy foods in HUGE portions...whoops

 
SugarRush 2009-02-07 10:47:51 PM  
Megain,

*Is* that you? If it is, that's very impresive! How'd you do it?

 
blkhwk86 2009-02-07 11:37:21 PM  
Dude, try the salad and coffee diet and then manage your weight.

/lost 60 lbs in 4 months
//finally hot stuff
///sorry ladies, my bf wouldn't like yall in bed

 
Terrified Asexual Forcemeat 2009-02-08 01:21:28 AM  
Theological Farker: Control_this: In fact, get far enough away I never hear you come.

Most guys aren't screamers.


And....how...do you know this?

 
TwistedFark 2009-02-08 01:26:04 AM  
I lost approximately 40kg (nearly 90 lbs) by following two simple steps:

1) Cut out all sugar and starches.
2) Get outside and go for a walk an hour a day.

Never counted a calorie, never measured my food. It's easy, but at the same time not as it does require a rather radical change in the way you think about food and mostly how you feel about it.

 
Man_Without_A_Hat 2009-02-08 01:33:57 AM  
I lost 50 pounds sophomore year of college with the "eat yogurt and drink lots of water" diet.

 
geekybroad 2009-02-08 01:47:15 AM  
Must be Ukrainian.

 
tweek46420 2009-02-08 02:12:47 AM  
Dick Finger: Motivation is the real key to weight loss.

are you dick finger the 2nd or 3rd?


/seriously i know dick finger III

 
profplump [TotalFark] 2009-02-08 03:35:21 AM  
dbaggins: When you see "risk of dying" in a media article or lay dr. comment mentally insert "risk of prematurely dying"

it isn't hard. all the rest of us do this automatically with no discernible effort.


I don't think that's really true. I think a lot of people just never really consider that death is the unavoidable consequence of life; I'm pretty sure that many people rationalize -- even if they logically know better -- that humans live more or less forever baring injury or illness. And if you're making that assumption then there is no logical difference between "risk of dying" and "risk of dying soon", particularly in a medical context (i.e. where someone is ill).

 
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