man that article is written like shiat

mailroomjack: man that article is written like shiat

I thought I had gone brain-dead there for a second. I read it twice and I'm STILL not sure what it's saying. Even his wiki page only sheds a little light on what's going on. I think this is what the article is trying to say:

1. In 2002, Cafasso posed as a retired Lt. Colonel & became a talking head on Fox News until they found out he'd lied about his experience.

2. He also posed as a rescuer at Lake Michigan last year.

3. He's been using the alias Robert Stormer for at least a year

4. He met a woman through an online dating service, she & her son moved in with him, and he's been controlling some of her finances since then.

5. For some reason, police want information on his laptop. This information may or may not have something to do with Jack Idema, a man convicted of running a private prison in Afghanistan in 2004 & torturing inmates.

6. The woman & her son gave Cafasso's laptop to the police after they called him saying they wanted it. Why they called the son and not Cafasso is beyond me. Not even sure how they'll be able to get a warrant since Cafasso himself didn't agree to turn it in.

7. Oh, and Cafasso was given a ticket for driving on a suspended license & then didn't show up for court, so has a warrant.

And I had to sift through the article & 2 wiki pages to figure that out. You'd think it would contain something important, like whether the guy's been arrested, but what do I know. I'm obviously not a journalist.

This jewel is particularly confounding -

Alleged victims included the Fox News network, Pat Buchanan's presidential campaign and "several representatives, military officials and activists to whom he had sold himself for years,"?

That random question mark makes one wonder..

FBI, Pentagon, Fox News, Army Special Forces and maybe the CIA

those are the folks who need enemies. without enemies, they'd have to get a job.

enemies are good!!

ever notice how the Pentagon makes no effort to spread peace. that is because there's no money in peace.

brigid_fitch: mailroomjack: man that article is written like shiat

I thought I had gone brain-dead there for a second. I read it twice and I'm STILL not sure what it's saying....

Thanks, you summed it up well. Who, what, when, where, and why (at least as far as the information you had to work with). That makes you a journalist.

That article was so poorly written that I had to stop reading it about half way through, which was before it got to anything resembling a point.

Watch out - they has Wikipedia pages...

brigid_fitch: Not even sure how they'll be able to get a warrant since Cafasso himself didn't agree to turn it in.

That's what the warrant is for; had he agreed to turn it in and have it be searched, it would be a consent search, which doesn't require a warrant.

You need the warrant to *compel* the search, which is what's happening here.

Renowned transvestite sexologist: That article was so poorly written that I had to stop reading it about half way through, which was before it got to anything resembling a point.

Came here to say what you all said but yeah THIS^.

That made my hang over worse.

The moral to this story is don't have a Wiki page.

In other news, the Post-Tribune is now hiring for editing positions...

FTFA: Cafasso appeared as a military and counterterrorism expert during Fox's coverage of the invasion of Afghanistan.

But records indicate that his total military experience was 44 days of boot camp at Fort Dix, N.J., in May and June 1976, and his honorable discharge as a private, first class.

I had a conversation with a former Special Ops guy who worked with my dad (not a Special Ops guy, himself)... and the former Special Ops guy said approximately 1% of Special Ops guys are recruited straight out of Basic Training, almost always from Ft. Dix, NJ (he said it had to do with the MOS they send their).

He said they're not even Delta Force visible, are even blacker ops than that, no ID card, no military posting... all "civilian" black ops work... assassinations... gang infiltration... shiat like that... all you ever see on their DD 214 is that they completed Basic Training, and whatever "expert" scores they achieved while there (rifle and grenade courses).

Usually they have "general" or "uncharacterized" discharges.

I always just figured he was pulling my leg.

/I still figure that.

It took me three tries to read this with any comprehension, but I think I've finally got it:

Cafasso (aka Robert Stormer, aka possibly the dated woman's own son) owned an Apple laptop. The rest of the fraud and confusion stems from that.

/shouldn't have RTFA. Brain hurt.

At first I thought I was was reading a transcript from a bad cell phone connection.

"In 2002, date, with laptop Feds purple dragon dishwasher"

I didn't read TFA, but based on the headline I'm going to assume the woman was named Linda Litzke.

What kind of drugs do I have to be on to write like that article reads? Merlot is not doing it for me.

you people having trouble comprehending the article just don't understand "Region Speak"

LC represent

mailroomjack: man that article is written like shiat

The Fark headline was only slightly less informative on what the hell was going on in all this.

FTFA; believe that Cafasso built a case against a man named Jack Idema, who also has a Wikipedia page.

The new measurement of whether one has made an impact on society.

What're you, the Washington redskin?

Federal Bureau of Intimidation?

Awesome movie for the one-liners.

the_patman: brigid_fitch: Not even sure how they'll be able to get a warrant since Cafasso himself didn't agree to turn it in.

That's what the warrant is for; had he agreed to turn it in and have it be searched, it would be a consent search, which doesn't require a warrant.

You need the warrant to *compel* the search, which is what's happening here.

How do you get a retroactive warrant? "Hello, Judge? I have in my possession a laptop from some guy who's got a bench warrant for failure to appear for a traffic ticket. Can I have a search warrant to see what's on it? How did I get it? I asked for it. No, I didn't talk to the owner, I talked to his girlfriend's son. No, the owner didn't give it to me, his girlfriend & her son did. So, how's about a warrant?"

IANAL, but I can't see how that's gonna fly. Don't you need a warrant to get the laptop in the first place if the guy won't agree to hand it over or be searched?

TomD9938: FTFA; believe that Cafasso built a case against a man named Jack Idema, who also has a Wikipedia page.

The new measurement of whether one has made an impact on society.

Did you mean: Seamus Fermi
No article title matches

No page with that title exists.

I feel like such a loser.

holy crap this guy is crafty, I'm still not sure what's going on here

Cafasso appeared as a military and counterterrorism expert during Fox's coverage of the invasion of Afghanistan.

"But records indicate that his total military experience was 44 days of boot camp at Fort Dix, N.J., in May and June 1976, and his honorable discharge as a private, first class."

Why am I not surprised.

That's one of the most poorly written articles I've ever read. It's confusing, goes nowhere, and throws tons of dates that mean nothing to nobody.

I came on the forums to understand it better...and I still don't. Time to write an email!

Jaws_Victim: That's one of the most poorly written articles I've ever read. It's confusing, goes nowhere, and throws tons of dates that mean nothing to nobody.

I came on the forums to understand it better...and I still don't. Time to write an email!

I suggest you send your complaint to Farkback (top right on your screen). Although they are yet to take care of my random log in:

thinks_on_feet: FTFA: Cafasso appeared as a military and counterterrorism expert during Fox's coverage of the invasion of Afghanistan.

But records indicate that his total military experience was 44 days of boot camp at Fort Dix, N.J., in May and June 1976, and his honorable discharge as a private, first class.

I had a conversation with a former Special Ops guy who worked with my dad (not a Special Ops guy, himself)... and the former Special Ops guy said approximately 1% of Special Ops guys are recruited straight out of Basic Training, almost always from Ft. Dix, NJ (he said it had to do with the MOS they send their).

He said they're not even Delta Force visible, are even blacker ops than that, no ID card, no military posting... all "civilian" black ops work... assassinations... gang infiltration... shiat like that... all you ever see on their DD 214 is that they completed Basic Training, and whatever "expert" scores they achieved while there (rifle and grenade courses).

Usually they have "general" or "uncharacterized" discharges.

I always just figured he was pulling my leg.

/I still figure that.

Wasn't that the script for Infernal Affairs/Departed?

Wiki wiki wiki wiki! (pops and locks)

/shut up!

brigid_fitch: IANAL, but I can't see how that's gonna fly. Don't you need a warrant to get the laptop in the first place if the guy won't agree to hand it over or be searched?

It would seem the police would need a warrant to seize the laptop in the first place, but the article is so poorly written and lacking in facts that it's impossible to tell if they had the required exigency to seize it without a warrant, or if the kid that turned it in had legal standing to do so.

You also can't tell from the article exactly why the cop wants to get a warrant. Is the guy suspected of something more than getting a ticket under a false name? Does it have something to do with him taking control of this lady's finances? Something to do with his past fraudulent acts?

The article is a mess.

Dick Stormer?

Wow, subby, your headline sounds like the plot for a really lame gangbang pr0n flick!

I read the article.

Ummm - what was the story about? It made my head hurt.

Been to Porter county jail before. Wasn't a fun time, then again it was after a Dead show and I was on LSD the whole time. It's a real scam the police have going on there. They're crooked as hell. Others in jail told me about coming off the train from Chicago and being forcibly searched for no valid reasons. Interesting how they take you to Valparaiso to jail you, but send your impounded car to a town 20 miles away. On the plus side I got all charges dropped and even had the judge tell me I was to smart for my own good. :D
For the size of Valparaiso it is amazing the number of different banks there. It is a rich county and when I was there someone told me it was were Dan Quayle was from. That alone was reason enough for me to never want to go back there again.

/waiting to read how they screw this up and cause the guy to go free

This plot sounds suspiciously similar to the movie "Burn After Reading." Depending on the timing, I wonder if one was based on the other.

/no html skillz to put up a movie poster

If you hire someone based largely on their military experience, ask for two things:

1) An ID card if they claimed they were retired. A Lt. Colonel should have been in long enough to make retirement. If they were seriously wounded, they would be medically retired and granted an ID card.

If they only did one or two enlistments and didn't retire, a DD-214. If they claim they don't have one, they're lying. You get two. DD-214 Member-4, and DD 214 Member-1. Member 4 is more detailed.

Also, if a retired guy specifically clamis to be a Navy SEAL, Combat Controller, PJ, combat veteran, POW, war hero, or SF, ask to see the DD-214.

If they claim any kind of Special Forces, combat experience, medals, POW status, IT WILL BE ON THE DD-214, unless your lazy-ass didn't properly document it with the civilians who work in Transitions and Outprocessing. There are a few guys who get farked over here and there on minor awards, but whole chunks of your career should not be missing. For example, a buddy of mine was with 1-1 Cavalry in Budigen, Germany. The were closing down the unit and returning the unit to Texas. He was supposed to get an ARCOM (Army Commendation Medal). They were so busy shutting down the unit, that they forgot to get the final authorization from the Brigade Commander, so he got farked on that.

But large portions of you career, lengthy Special Forces training, and major awards for valor do not vanish.

No school is "classified." No award is "classified." A deployment to a combat zone is not "classified."

If you went to SOTIC, it will be on there. What they actually teach you there might be (I never went, just using this as an example) classified, but attendance is not.

If you get an award for a classified mission, the award will be documented. The citation might be classified (rarely), but it is usually just very vague. For example, I saw the Distinguished Flying Cross (or Air Medal, I forgot which) award for the Air Force pilot who made the first F-117 Stealth flight. At the time the project was highly classified. It just said something like, "for achieving an Air Force accomplishment."

If you went to Iraq or Afghanistan and were doing some Secret Squirrel shiat, the deployment will be on there.

If you claim you secretly went into Syria, it will say something like "deployed in SUPPORT of Operation Iraqi/Enduring Freedom."

brigid_fitch: mailroomjack: man that article is written like shiat

I thought I had gone brain-dead there for a second. I read it twice and I'm STILL not sure what it's saying. Even his wiki page only sheds a little light on what's going on. I think this is what the article is trying to say:

1. In 2002, Cafasso posed as a retired Lt. Colonel & became a talking head on Fox News until they found out he'd lied about his experience.

2. He also posed as a rescuer at Lake Michigan last year.

3. He's been using the alias Robert Stormer for at least a year

4. He met a woman through an online dating service, she & her son moved in with him, and he's been controlling some of her finances since then.

5. For some reason, police want information on his laptop. This information may or may not have something to do with Jack Idema, a man convicted of running a private prison in Afghanistan in 2004 & torturing inmates.

6. The woman & her son gave Cafasso's laptop to the police after they called him saying they wanted it. Why they called the son and not Cafasso is beyond me. Not even sure how they'll be able to get a warrant since Cafasso himself didn't agree to turn it in.

7. Oh, and Cafasso was given a ticket for driving on a suspended license & then didn't show up for court, so has a warrant.

And I had to sift through the article & 2 wiki pages to figure that out. You'd think it would contain something important, like whether the guy's been arrested, but what do I know. I'm obviously not a journalist.

But you are much better at being one that the moran that wrote the original article. Thanks for the breakdown...It saved me from digging (after reading the original mishmash..)

/how does Jack Idema fit into all of this, who the fark is he anyways and...nevermind...my head hurts

brigid_fitch:
How do you get a retroactive warrant? "Hello, Judge? I have in my possession a laptop from some guy who's got a bench warrant for failure to appear for a traffic ticket. Can I have a search warrant to see what's on it? How did I get it? I asked for it. No, I didn't talk to the owner, I talked to his girlfriend's son. No, the owner didn't give it to me, his girlfriend & her son did. So, how's about a warrant?"

IANAL, but I can't see how that's gonna fly. Don't you need a warrant to get the laptop in the first place if the guy won't agree to hand it over or be searched?

It 'flies' all the time. Often, when a piece of property is in the custody of a third party, the custody of that piece of property is transferred, but not the rights to it. For instance, let's say you were given a locked box by a friend. The police want to see what's in that box. You give the box to them, but you still don't have ownership over it, so you can't consent to its' search.

In this case, the subject has(apparently) not made a statement one way or the other. Quite possibly, he's *abandoned* the property which means they don't need the warrant, or he's given it to the girlfriend, in which case they don't need a warrant(because she's given permission). They're erring on the side of caution here, which is a good thing.

Second, don't confuse a search warrant with a seizure warrant. Most search warrants give you the authority to seize certain items. The 'seizure' part gives you the ability to take it; the 'search' part gives you the ability to look into it(deeper than what is visible in plain view). In this case, custody was transferred by a 3rd party who had custody, but not the right to look inside. So a search warrant is needed.

Linux_Yes: ...that is because there's no money in peace.

Only if you fail to look.

You can profit immensely in the Wars against Hunger, Disease, Nature, Ignorance and Boredom.

In fact, one can successfully argue that those are the only places long term profits can actually be found.

brigid_fitch: mailroomjack: man that article is written like shiat

I thought I had gone brain-dead there for a second. I read it twice and I'm STILL not sure what it's saying. Even his wiki page only sheds a little light on what's going on. I think this is what the article is trying to say:

So he's a compulsive serial liar and scofflaw, and the only thing we know for sure about him is that he's a good enough self-identified Republican to get on Faux Noise.

That makes perfect sense.

/hey if Michael Weiner can get his own frigging radio show...

Sounds like it's easy to fool Faux news.

brigid_fitch: Don't you need a warrant to get the laptop in the first place if the guy won't agree to hand it over or be searched?

No. From the sound of it, the police have it because the woman and/or her son handed it over to the police of their own initiative; the police report suggests those two think it was used in some manner of fraud. Essentially, any private citizen can hand over anything to the cops that they think might be evidence, as long as the cops didn't ask them to acquire it.

If there's a claim of a crime, I^AmNotALawyer would think the police can reasonably keep the laptop until the request for the warrant is approved or declined, based on probable cause for search from the statements of the people who handed it over.

Boy, you'd think that FoxNews' fact-checking would have caught him up, huh?

brigid_fitch: How do you get a retroactive warrant? "Hello, Judge? I have in my possession a laptop from some guy who's got a bench warrant for failure to appear for a traffic ticket. Can I have a search warrant to see what's on it? How did I get it? I asked for it. No, I didn't talk to the owner, I talked to his girlfriend's son. No, the owner didn't give it to me, his girlfriend & her son did. So, how's about a warrant?"

Under the patriot act, financial institutions are enlarged in scope to include everything (the US post office is now a financial institution, as with the library). Meaning the powers under FISA that allowed retroactive warrants has been extended to civilian law enforcement uses.

So, is TFA about how this guy has a Wikipedia page?

/on-line dating is always an adventure

beoswulf: thinks_on_feet: FTFA: Cafasso appeared as a military and counterterrorism expert during Fox's coverage of the invasion of Afghanistan.

But records indicate that his total military experience was 44 days of boot camp at Fort Dix, N.J., in May and June 1976, and his honorable discharge as a private, first class.

I had a conversation with a former Special Ops guy who worked with my dad (not a Special Ops guy, himself)... and the former Special Ops guy said approximately 1% of Special Ops guys are recruited straight out of Basic Training, almost always from Ft. Dix, NJ (he said it had to do with the MOS they send their).

He said they're not even Delta Force visible, are even blacker ops than that, no ID card, no military posting... all "civilian" black ops work... assassinations... gang infiltration... shiat like that... all you ever see on their DD 214 is that they completed Basic Training, and whatever "expert" scores they achieved while there (rifle and grenade courses).

Usually they have "general" or "uncharacterized" discharges.

I always just figured he was pulling my leg.

/I still figure that.

Wasn't that the script for Infernal Affairs/Departed?

I'm just telling you what the man told me, and this was YEARS before either of those movies came out.

I have no way of knowing if something like that could exist and would or would not leave any sort of paper trail.

Sounds to me like Sgt. Otter is saying it could never happen.

So the only funny thing I got out of this was that Fox was outfoxed. The rest, like everyone else, gave me a farkin headache.

Joafu It took me three tries to read this with any comprehension, but I think I've finally got it:

Cafasso (aka Robert Stormer, aka possibly the dated woman's own son) owned an Apple laptop. The rest of the fraud and confusion stems from that.

/shouldn't have RTFA. Brain hurt.


I would have to agree with this, but if that's all they printed, it wouldnt have made it to the FARK pages.

I don't know what's more failarious about TFA, the important details that it omits, or the pointless ones it gives:

Joseph Cafasso, being held at Porter County Jail, was the subject of a 2002 New York Times article and has a Wikipedia page detailing his exploits.

...

The curious case of Cafasso came to light Monday when a Chesterton resident turned over Cafasso's Apple laptop to Chesterton police.

...

The woman, who resides in Tefft, in northeastern Jasper County, met "Stormer" about a year ago through an online dating service.

...

...a man named Jack Idema, who also has a Wikipedia page.

Summary: Some guy from Wikipedia (that's on teh Intarwebs) has an Apple laptop, and used to online and meet some chick. Then she got the Apple laptop away from him and gave it to the cops. The cops are investigating some stuff involving this guy from teh Intarwebs, and that other guy from teh Intarwebs.


Did i miss anything?

fark.that.noise: ...and used it to go online and meet some chick...

Alcohol is a helluva drug.