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(The Earth Times) Interesting The Catholic church in Britain is attempting to lure would-be monks and nuns into the monastic life with "taster" weekends in the cloisters   (earthtimes.org) divider line 66
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johnny_vegas [TotalFark] 2009-02-07 11:42:53 AM  
I read that as "taser weekends"

/made more sense actually

 
Benevolent Misanthrope [TotalFark] 2009-02-07 12:42:19 PM  
All contemplative orders require an Observership - a test period where you a re a guest and observe. Most are 2-6 months. Because they want you to be completely sure what you're letting yourself in for.

All my Observership did was convince me that there is no God and the entirety of religion is a complete fiction. As I've said - once you've been the magician's assistant, you'd have to be a special kind of stupid to believe the act.

 
mmagdalene [TotalFark] 2009-02-07 01:41:32 PM  
Heavy on the Blood of Christ, I'll bet.

 
ubercub [TotalFark] 2009-02-07 01:42:09 PM  
In before Diablo II reference.

 
CableGuy316 2009-02-07 01:42:42 PM  
Because after all, if there was a god, it'd put us on this earth to sit around in a dank old building and talk to the wall day in and day out.

 
DeathByGeekSquad 2009-02-07 01:42:54 PM  
Benevolent Misanthrope: All contemplative orders require an Observership - a test period where you a re a guest and observe. Most are 2-6 months. Because they want you to be completely sure what you're letting yourself in for.

All my Observership did was convince me that there is no God and the entirety of religion is a complete fiction. As I've said - once you've been the magician's assistant, you'd have to be a special kind of stupid to believe the act.


I always got fed up with the idea that charity is good, but providing gold/silver altars for God was better. If God is so full of himself that he can't understand being worshipped at a wooden altar so the locals can be healthy, he's a twisted motherfarker.

 
Scarrio 2009-02-07 01:43:31 PM  
Sounds a lot like boy scout camp. Wait a second...

 
MisatoNERV 2009-02-07 01:44:00 PM  
From TFA: Visitors will take meals in silence, and pray five times a day at the free weekends being hosted by a Benedictine monastery in the southern county of West Sussex.

Sounds exciting! Where do I sign?

 
DeadZone 2009-02-07 01:46:18 PM  
johnny_vegas: I read that as "taser weekends"

/made more sense actually


So did I...

/thank you father, may I have another?

 
remus 2009-02-07 01:47:38 PM  
Well, I've seen a couple of nuns that I'd taste.. What?

 
Runningjoke 2009-02-07 01:49:26 PM  
The road to God are many, the path to heaven is through a narrow gate.

 
Contents of a Space Wasp's stomach 2009-02-07 01:54:08 PM  
Scarrio: Sounds a lot like boy scout camp. Wait a second...

Only if your the counselor. The boy scouts are too busy crying and pretending to be somewhere else.

Just like bible camp.

 
Pert 2009-02-07 01:54:27 PM  
I guess it tastes kinda salty?

/that's what I love about choirboys. I keep getting older, they stay the same age....
//window seat please

 
explody_pup 2009-02-07 01:55:53 PM  
remus: Well, I've seen a couple of nuns that I'd taste.. What?

www.staggeron.org

What?

 
Benevolent Misanthrope [TotalFark] 2009-02-07 01:57:07 PM  
CableGuy316: Because after all, if there was a god, it'd put us on this earth to sit around in a dank old building and talk to the wall day in and day out.

No talking. Silence. Work - for the monastery, of course. Prayers - all written out for you. Conformity. Surrender of your psyche to your superiors. This is the path to holiness, according to the monastery.

Of course, it has nothing to do with the fact that this all benefits the monastery.

 
CygnusDarius [TotalFark] 2009-02-07 01:57:49 PM  
Cake or death?.

 
CrispFlows 2009-02-07 01:58:16 PM  
pomomusings.com

 
Thakh 2009-02-07 01:58:53 PM  
explody_pup: remus: Well, I've seen a couple of nuns that I'd taste.. What?



What?


Came here for this pic.

 
BringBacktheBomb 2009-02-07 02:03:03 PM  
Come for the celibacy.

Stay for the... Hey, they all ran off!

 
Pegasus_CAG 2009-02-07 02:10:54 PM  
Come for the celibacy.

Stay for the... Hey, they all ran off!


Stay for the lifetime of sexual frustration and excruciating personal loneliness?

 
Aello 2009-02-07 02:19:12 PM  
Actually, one of my bedding reps went on one of these. I can see how a weekend away from everything and in silence can be really relaxing and soothing. I go out to the middle of nowhere every month or so, just to get away.

 
The_Johnny_Danger 2009-02-07 02:23:55 PM  
www.joe-ks.com

 
Zimmy 2009-02-07 02:24:30 PM  
Aello: Actually, one of my bedding reps went on one of these. I can see how a weekend away from everything and in silence can be really relaxing and soothing. I go out to the middle of nowhere every month or so, just to get away.

So they're essentially running a resort?

...

And we can't tax them?

 
casual_sex 2009-02-07 02:29:09 PM  
I can see it now. Your little boys taste GREAT!

 
Kilby [TotalFark] 2009-02-07 02:33:20 PM  
Great, next thing you know, the Saeculars will be coming into the math with no warning at all.

/Out of my concent!

 
worlddan 2009-02-07 02:35:40 PM  
Pegasus_CAG: Come for the celibacy.

Stay for the... Hey, they all ran off!

Stay for the lifetime of sexual frustration and excruciating personal loneliness?


This is what I love about Farkers so much. It wouldn't be good for them ergo it must be bad for everyone else.

Hint: if you are sexually frustrated and lonely in a monastery, it's not for you.

 
Brisketeer 2009-02-07 02:39:11 PM  
DeathByGeekSquad: I always got fed up with the idea that charity is good, but providing gold/silver altars for God was better. If God is so full of himself that he can't understand being worshipped at a wooden altar so the locals can be healthy, he's a twisted motherfarker.

Actually, I think that's part of what drove the Protestant Reformation. IMO Jesus was basically a (gay) hippy, so I'm not sure what path took much of Christianity to where it is today. I imagine that were he alive today, he'd probably be surprised to find that many of his followers were Pharisees.

 
Aello 2009-02-07 02:45:10 PM  
Zimmy,
He did it on his own time and not as part of his duties. And no, we can't tax them. Seperation of church and state. Not only a good idea, but it makes each stronger.

 
H_is_for_Heretic 2009-02-07 02:46:11 PM  
DeathByGeekSquad:

I always got fed up with the idea that charity is good, but providing gold/silver altars for God was better. If God is so full of himself that he can't understand being worshipped at a wooden altar so the locals can be healthy, he's a twisted motherfarker.


Almost as much so as scientific evidence, the whole worship aspect is the reason I couldn't be a theist. God can't be infallible while having any need to be worshipped. Any kind of divine force wouldn't need organized acknowledgment.

The pleasure and peace someone could derive from a monastic lifestyle seems like it could be it's own reward. A lifetime of meditation would be appealing to some people.

 
Synaesthesia 2009-02-07 02:50:09 PM  
As Farkers howl with laughter, the monasteries quietly prepare for the new Dark Ages.

 
brantgoose 2009-02-07 02:55:28 PM  
My cousin went on one of these weekend monastic retreats years ago when she was a teen. She loved it. Thought the monks were great guys. And there weren't no hanky-panky, you can be sure of that. She was the type who would enjoy silence at meals and five prayers a day. Much scarier than a slut for most people.

The charitable, teaching and medical orders aren't doing much harm. The apératif-making and contemplative orders are doing less. I wonder if any of them still illuminate manuscripts? There's a small but very profitable market for really, really expensive one of a kind books.

The most important thing is that the inmates commit themselves freely. The worst abuse of the religious orders was the involuntary dumping of unwanted children, rightful heirs, miscellaneous trouble-makers, elderly parents, etc. Even then, however, the religious orders served some purpose as "old folks" homes, etc. It was quite common (as it is today in Hinduism) for people past child-bearing years to take up a religious life.

The evolution of capitalism has created many for-profit, government and not-for-profit institutions to do jobs that the Church used to do: hotels, hospitals, schools, universities, asylums, museums, art galleries, banks, health spas, week-end getaways, marriage counselling, senior citizen's residents, psychiatric facilities, prisons, lawyers, community centers, conference centers, subsidized housing for the unemployable, social services for the poor, etc.

Personally I prefer the state-provision model for things poor people need the most and can afford the least, the private sector for things for which you can milk the demanding rich and middle classes, and non-profits for the things which more or less pay for themselves despite being minority tastes or interests. And let's not forget the co-operative movement. Great stuff.

And I'm in such a good mood I spelled "centre" as "center" twice. Welcome back to the fold of humanity my sheeples!

Stupid old Noah Webster and his silly spelling reforms! But be that as it may. I digress.

 
rubi_con_man 2009-02-07 03:01:38 PM  
This is going to sound very wierd, but Britain had a MASSIVE culture of monasticism and cloistered life from the 600s up until Henry VIII

something like 30% of the population was living under some kind of monastic rule.

 
TomD9938 2009-02-07 03:05:50 PM  
H_is_for_Heretic: the whole worship aspect is the reason I couldn't be a theist. God can't be infallible while having any need to be worshipped. Any kind of divine force wouldn't need organized acknowledgment.

I think the act of worship is for the benefit of the one who's on his knees.

Sort of a way of preventing self worship, which can be truly destructive.

I dont believe in the super natural stuff myself, but I acknowledge that I also dont know what I dont know.

 
rubi_con_man 2009-02-07 03:09:21 PM  
brantgoose: Personally I prefer the state-provision model for things poor people need the most and can afford the least, the private sector for things for which you can milk the demanding rich and middle classes, and non-profits for the things which more or less pay for themselves despite being minority tastes or interests. And let's not forget the co-operative movement. Great stuff.

THIS

You .... newsletter.

Additionally, think of this : The Church generally was uninvolved in these "infrastructure" projects until the 300s, when their government started falling apart (Rome). Most times, the Bishops and clergy were the only people who stuck around when a giant mass of Germans streamed in and decided to set up residence. for about 1000 years, the church was the major force that kept western europe from descending into toal chaos and squalor. It is fair and fitting that most of the states that now cover that area are taking this burden back off the church.

 
Monoxide 2009-02-07 03:09:29 PM  
Benevolent Misanthrope, interestingly enough my time as a candidate provided the exact opposite experience.

 
Ser Kheru 2009-02-07 03:10:56 PM  
This is hardly a new idea. Many Buddhists countries have this institutionalized in their culture. Young men (and sometimes women) enter the monastery for some set period of time. Usually between a month and year and then they chose to leave or stay. Regardless they have done their religious duty of being a monk for a time. The Catholic church is just behind the monastic times.

That said, I have several friends attending a retreat at an Episcopal monastery this weekend, not to become monks but just to have a relaxing, spiritual weekend. No harm, no foul I figure.

 
Farking Canuck 2009-02-07 03:12:18 PM  
remus: Well, I've seen a couple of nuns that I'd taste.. What?

I really hope it is nuns they are tasting ... since this is the Catholic church, it could be much more sinister.

Benevolent Misanthrope: All contemplative orders require an Observership - a test period where you a re a guest and observe. Most are 2-6 months. Because they want you to be completely sure what you're letting yourself in for.

All my Observership did was convince me that there is no God and the entirety of religion is a complete fiction. As I've said - once you've been the magician's assistant, you'd have to be a special kind of stupid to believe the act.


I was raised catholic and have gone from being skeptical to atheist over a period of a few years. The indoctrination is strong ... when I first considered myself an atheist I still felt guilty saying things that would not be christian/catholic (i.e. saying bad (but true) things about the bible).

Then one day I was able to let it all go and it actually felt truly liberating. I highly recommend it.

 
CowboyUpCowgirlDown 2009-02-07 03:12:46 PM  
Tainter weekends?

Mmmmmmm.

 
kabloink 2009-02-07 03:16:27 PM  
It may not be that bad. It's better than going off to the middle east to fight in a war. Plus, if your really lucky you can help solve crimes with the sheriff Hugh Beringar. As well as make unique and exciting herbal remedies.

/watched too many PBS mystery shows

 
exi 2009-02-07 03:19:20 PM  
Taster? ... I barely even know her.

/sheesh

 
gadian [TotalFark] 2009-02-07 03:27:01 PM  
I think I might enjoy a few weeks of silence and contemplation. I wouldn't even mind doing menial labor for the church so long as my needs are being taken care of. There is a freedom to not being bound by the pursuit of money or things. Don't have to worry about food, clothes, housing and all I have to do is say some prayers and work for you guys? Honestly, I wouldn't miss the sex and I really don't need close companions.

Too bad I'm not religious as I couldn't go in knowing I don't believe and try to fake it around people who really do.

 
radioman_ 2009-02-07 03:28:08 PM  
I once tasted a nun, but I never got in the habit.

 
Suede head 2009-02-07 03:34:45 PM  
rubi_con_man: This is going to sound very wierd, but Britain had a MASSIVE culture of monasticism and cloistered life from the 600s up until Henry VIII

something like 30% of the population was living under some kind of monastic rule.


I read somewhere that one of the huge monastaries (was it Fountains Abbey?) had an experimental blast furnace which experts think could have kicked off the industrial revolution nearly 400 years early but Henry VIII trashed it. But for his desire to legally put his cock in loads of women we could have been exploring the galaxy with our replicant sex-dolls resembling Angelina Jolie right now.

 
Gash 2009-02-07 03:38:11 PM  
bp1.blogger.com

Amazing track.

 
matthew_tray 2009-02-07 03:38:25 PM  
A 2-6 month stay w/ the monks that make Duvel is actually something I've always wanted to do. I would love to write a book about living w/ the monks while making/drinking a metric assload of beer. Monasteries used to make all the beer back in the day, and I think it would be interesting to see the fundies, no-drinking reaction here in the States.

/Catholic but haven't been to church in awhile
//St. Arnold Lawnmower FTW.

 
Aello 2009-02-07 03:42:43 PM  
Wow, this sounds like when that dude on Numb3rs went to the monastary. I loved that story line.

 
Tribs 2009-02-07 03:52:03 PM  
What's the pay like?

 
swarms909 2009-02-07 04:00:20 PM  
Isn't this a decision that one should make at the spur of the moment?

/the Buddhists have been doing this for a while

 
Lord Summerisle 2009-02-07 04:04:30 PM  
No thanks, I've seen The Name of the Rose.

 
Tunney 2009-02-07 04:05:11 PM  
www.jewcy.com

NUNS!!?

 
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