FTA: Instead, he was getting into trouble in Palm Coast, Fla., where he racked up a sex harassment suit and battery arrest while running Goomba's pizza joint under the name Joseph Milano.

You can't make this shiat up, folks. Italian mobster's laying low, so he runs a place with a big lit sign out front that says "Goomba".

"Hey, Luigi bring-a you kids-a pizza, why-a you gotta make-a fun?"

Goomba's Pizza Cafe or Pizza by Goomba?

This is very important.

platkat: Goomba's Pizza Cafe or Pizza by Goomba?

This is very important.

I see what you did there.

I'm glad to know known murderers are still being given breaks and being allowed to live their lives freely even though they are still an obvious threat.

Be sure to keep those pot smokers in jail though.

Did somebody say Goomba?

up, up, down, down, left right, left right, baba select start.

ChewbaccaJones: I'm glad to know known murderers are still being given breaks and being allowed to live their lives freely even though they are still an obvious threat.

Be sure to keep those pot smokers in jail though.

Took 5 posts... I'm disappointed.

I was going to post a picture of a stereo and a picture of a person typing but I'm way too lazy.

Came here for the History of Violence reference, done in one.

FTFA:
One of the victims in last month's pistol-whipping
...
U.S. marshals and New York prosecutors have to decide whether Calco violated the terms of his release and should be relocated or thrown back in prison.

Since when are Felons allowed to own firearms, let alone pistol whip dickhead customers?

Italian mobster are losing ground to the Albanians. They don't play on the same level.

Just relocate him to Silvertown.

Protip: If you were in the mob, then ratted on them and now are in the witness protection program....it isn't advisable to call attention to yourself by beating the shiat out of two customers in the pizzeria you're running to run a pizzeria.

/He should've started up a Jamba Juice or something. No mobsters would look for him there.

Protip. Protip Protip Protip. Protip!

And be sure to hide out at YOUR MOTHER'S house! No one would ever think to look there.

NathanielTaggart: Protip. Protip Protip Protip. Protip!

Malkovich?

Keep Texas Zombie Free: FTFA:
One of the victims in last month's pistol-whipping
...
U.S. marshals and New York prosecutors have to decide whether Calco violated the terms of his release and should be relocated or thrown back in prison.

Since when are Felons allowed to own firearms, let alone pistol whip dickhead customers?

i'm not a felon, but i wish i could pistol whip dickhead customers

ChewbaccaJones: I'm glad to know known murderers are still being given breaks and being allowed to live their lives freely even though they are still an obvious threat.

Be sure to keep those pot smokers in jail though.

This x500000

No one ever said these guys were the sharpest pencils in the drawer.

tedbundee: ChewbaccaJones: I'm glad to know known murderers are still being given breaks and being allowed to live their lives freely even though they are still an obvious threat.

Be sure to keep those pot smokers in jail though.

This x500000

The pot smokers should have dug up some dirt on someone to use later.

StuckInTO: No one ever said these guys were the sharpest pencils in the drawer.



Doesn't need them sharp, just pointy enough to puncture stuff...

Goomba's Pizza? What's next, Spear-Chucker's Fried Chicken? Slant-Eye's Chinese Buffet?

Dome: i'm not a felon, but i wish i could pistol whip dickhead customers

Being a felon isn't a pre-requisite. It's really more of an "effect" than a "cause".

What I'm getting at is that nothing's stopping you. Go nuts.

Calzone attack at Goombas (new window)


Fuggetta'bot'it

My Name is .... I'm afraid I can't share that with you.

mryoop789 ensures I don't leave disappointed.

Remember Henry Hill? I read a book written by his two kids, and apparently he did shiat like this. They said he was a mean drunk, did a lot of drugs, and constantly did stuff to draw attention to himself--like giving an interview to a national magazine while he and his family were in hiding.

He was eventually "released" from the witness protection program because of stuff like this. His family lived in fear almost constantly.

Not at all the sort of romantic figure portrayed in Goodfellas. Imagine that.

Maybe it's just me, but this article could use some more tag.

Didn't Joe "Dog" Ianuzzi out himself on Letterman show and by writing a cookbook Chef to the Mob with kiss and tell stories?

cryinoutloud: Not at all the sort of romantic figure portrayed in Goodfellas. Imagine that.

Well to be fair, Goodfellas was only "romantic" for the first hour at most. Everyone involved wound up getting pinched, whacked, strung out on drugs or in the aforementioned witness protection program.

Sure, there's an aspect of the film where you laugh your ass off at Joe Pesci's antics but it's hardly a mob recruitment film.

I think the new purpose of Protip should be its repeated use, as often as possible as a way of trolling its irony.

This is why they call some thugs animals, this type just moves on instinct, wether he has "two" kills or more is a question.
no one with any brains would put themselves in this moron's pocket, by having him off someone for them (unless the "boss" was going to use this nut as a patsy, and blow himself up making a bomb)

Occam's Chainsaw: FTA: Instead, he was getting into trouble in Palm Coast, Fla., where he racked up a sex harassment suit and battery arrest while running Goomba's pizza joint under the name Joseph Milano.

You can't make this shiat up, folks. Italian mobster's laying low, so he runs a place with a big lit sign out front that says "Goomba".

I think if I were hiding from the mob, a pizza place on the east coast of Florida would be the last place I would hide.

4chan called, they want their protip back.

Approves.

/Granted, he beat the shiat out of a pizzeria owner, but you get the idea.

JimmyCarter'sSecondTerm: I think if I were hiding from the mob, a pizza place on the east coast of Florida would be the last place I would hide.


Seconded. New Yorkers love going to Florida, so you think that you would get spotted sooner or later.

You need to go somewhere boring....like Utah or Oklahoma.

Leave da gun, take da cannoli.

another snitch gets away for contributing nothing. a murderer and a snitch. I would like to pistol whip his mom

He killed two people and only spent 6 years in jail? Who'd he kill, zombie Stalin and zombie Hitler?

Oh wait I get it. He snitched in exchange for a lighter sentence. Still, sounds like letting him go free was a bad decision.

Only the highest quality newspapers use phrases like "screwed up."

ChewbaccaJones: I'm glad to know known murderers are still being given breaks and being allowed to live their lives freely even though they are still an obvious threat.


Well, he did promise to behave. How was the judge supposed to know he was lying?

Wow, remind me never to complain when someone messes up my order