"Welcome to Elliot's. I Love Y..

*FACEPUNCH*

Take 1
"Welcome to Elliott's, is there anything I can help you find?"
"WMDs?"

Take 2
"Welcome to Elliott's, is there anything I can help you with?"
"I need a hammer."
"Okay, there are different types for different uses, what will you primarily be using it for?"
"Nailing your daughter."

Take 3
"Welcome to Elliott's, can I help you find something?"
"Yeah, I need something help pry two boards apart."
"Can't help. I'm a uniter, not a divider."

I'll be here all night.

/tip your waitress

That store will be out of business in 2 months.

his dad got him the job.

It's wise to keep him away from the till but he'd still need supervision as a doorstop.

1. Offer former president a job at your store.
2. Get easy publicity.
3. Profit!

Are they gonna let him touch the bailer?

Why don't they give the job to one of the millions forced into unemployment thanks to Bush's policies?

I predict they'll invade Home Depot before the year is out.

this is a new challenge for him. he's already shown his ability to completely ruin a company/country when he's in charge... but can he ruin a company with this low-level job? i think he can.

burndtdan: this is a new challenge for him. he's already shown his ability to completely ruin a company/country when he's in charge... but can he ruin a company with this low-level job? i think he can.

That's change we can believe in.

Will he be flanked by his Secret Service detail the whole time? Because I'd kind of like to punch him until he falls down. At which point the kicking will begin.

"George Bush doesn't care about Black and Decker!"

Finally a job he's qualified for.

burndtdan: this is a new challenge for him. he's already shown his ability to completely ruin a company/country when he's in charge... but can he ruin a company with this low-level job? i think he can.

This is why I read Fark.

Take it, George....pleeeeeeease

He's not qualified.

Greeters need to be able to talk.

He should take it.
Times are tough.

Well, it could be worse. At least it's not Wal-mart.

Should we let NBCDFW.com behold The Power of Fark and vote in their poll?

So far it's 53-47 for Yes (he should be a greeter).

/I voted yes. Mainly because I want to see if sleeping martyr is clairvoyant.

Somebody shop George's head onto the greeter wearing the plastic bag.

He is under-qualified.

POLL IN TFA: Should he take the job?

Only 53% say yes.

Hahahaahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha


*gasp*


Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!

Can he destroy it? Yes, he can.

MaxxLarge: Will he be flanked by his Secret Service detail the whole time? Because I'd kind of like to punch him until he falls down. At which point the kicking will begin.

newsletter, etc etc etc

In other news: Dallas hardware store goes under.

Because he's too stupid to be a stocker.

MaxisReed: Take 1
"Welcome to Elliott's, is there anything I can help you find?"
"WMDs?"

Take 2
"Welcome to Elliott's, is there anything I can help you with?"
"I need a hammer."
"Okay, there are different types for different uses, what will you primarily be using it for?"
"Nailing your daughter."

Take 3
"Welcome to Elliott's, can I help you find something?"
"Yeah, I need something help pry two boards apart."
"Can't help. I'm a uniter, not a divider."

I'll be here all night.

/tip your waitress

How's the veal?

Almost as funny as the dry cleaning companies offering Clinton jobs...

/hot

This may be the only thing he's qualified for.

"Hi... wait, no, no. Hello... uhh, no, not right. Welcome to Orange Julius, home of the Black & Decker. Aw dang!"

Me thinks the political meter is broken. It shows center, should be -very- far left.

I don't think they can offer him the extended vacation schedule and limited work hours he is used to.

zpb52: Why don't they give the job to one of the millions forced into unemployment thanks to Bush's policies?

Sorry, Obama's president now. All the unemployed people are his fault. Can't blame W anymore.

FTFL: ...like you, many of our greeters are retired from the corporate world, so we're sure
you'll have no trouble making new friends.

If by "friends", they mean thousands of people who would gladly pay to stand in a long line for an opportunity for a c0ckpunch, then yeah, no trouble at all...

I imagine him standing at the door and when people leave he raises his finger and says "You forgot hammers".

There's also a joke in here somewhere about a job in a hardware store making sense for him since he has a screw loose.

MaxxLarge: Will he be flanked by his Secret Service detail the whole time? Because I'd kind of like to punch him until he falls down. At which point the kicking will begin.

That could be most prescient and priceless thing any one has ever said on Fark.

Newsletter etc.

Eddie Adams from Torrance: I predict they'll invade Home DepotCrate & Barrel before the year is out.

FTFY

Even as a Bush supporter, I still think he'd say, "Nuk-ya-ler weapons? Aisle 13."

Job requirement: you need to be able to pronounce the word listed on the button before your finger is allowed there.

Peter principle wins again.

Brainwash: Finally a job he's qualified for.

I came to say this is yet another job he isn't qualified for that his dad probably got him.

Control_this
his dad got him the job

WIN

Thread over

guilt by association: Well, it could be worse. At least it's not Wal-mart.

Hey now. Bush doesn't need to be compared to Walmart greeters.

I happen to work at a Walmart and our greeters are very nice and capable senior citizens.

Brainwash: qual

That's debatable.

He'd screw up the greeting. "Welcome to Elliott's Hardstuff"

"Welcome to Elliott's, where you'll misunderestimate your savings!"

Elliott's is an awesome store btw.

I'm torn. On the one hand, it would be great to see him humbled like this. On the other, it would take yet another job away from someone who actually needs some form of work to survive and give it to another rich baby boomer who needs to retire and get the fark out of the way.

/moot anyway. no way in hell does he accept.

phlegmmo: Somebody shop George's head onto the greeter wearing the plastic bag.

Not quite what you were looking for, but this is the best I could find. Enjoy!



/Hot like a blow torch, isle 6