I wonder if they'll find his penis lying on a blanket
next to a broken toaster oven.

Please tell me he got the rest of his manhood too and Darwin has won this one.

trimming his hedge with garden shears? can't think of anything else that might lead to this outcome

I bet he'll never do that again.

ZombieStomper: I wonder if they'll find his penis lying on a blanket
next to a broken toaster oven.

This happens all the time.

"Nutjob cuts off own penis and flushes it. Pretends it was an accident because he is CRAZY!"

Was he dating a chick named Dominique?

Careless?!? I dont think that word covers it.

That blows completely past "careless" and into a totally new, as-yet-unnamed category.

Who accidentally flushes a toilet? That is just crazy.

Was this him?

/DNRTFA

To quote Johnny Carson, "never peel carrots in the nude."

This story begs SO many questions.
1. WTF?
2. How thick was this guy's bush hair?
3. How small was his willy?
4. Why would anyone put a sharp object next to their willy?
5. WTF?

We really need a Darwin tag....

A lot more information "Man cuts off penis, flushed the toilet"

Surprise, surprise-- he was a psychiatric patient. Mom woke up early. Found the bathroom covered in blood and 45 year old son sitting "unusually crouched" on the couch. Still no explanation for "careless".

But they couldn't fish out his severed manhood from the town's main drains.

I cringe at the idea of putting my dick in somebody's pooper. You think I'd want my dick back after it was down in the sewer?

jaylectricity: I cringe at the idea of putting my dick in somebody's pooper.

Wow, TMI. But since you brought it up.... try it, you might like it!

Actually they chopped his body off. Held his penis and cut the rest of him off. Now he's just a dick.

jaylectricity: But they couldn't fish out his severed manhood from the town's main drains.

I cringe at the idea of putting my dick in somebody's pooper. You think I'd want my dick back after it was down in the sewer?

Clearly this guy didn't mind sticking it in a pooper.

Dr. Rosenrosen: jaylectricity: I cringe at the idea of putting my dick in somebody's pooper.

Wow, TMI. But since you brought it up.... try it, you might like it!

I've tried it. It wasn't worth getting my little man dirty.

I like how they feature a pic of the toilet (or loo) like it's responsible for his stupidity.

Penis goes where?

If you can't be more careful with your penis than that, you shouldn't be allowed to have one.

Dr. Rosenrosen: Was this him?

/DNRTFA

First Lol of the day, thanks! :)

That's no loaf you're pinching off there, mister!

I honestly think the Sun's headline was funnier.

Cyborg77: Actually they chopped his body off. Held his penis and cut the rest of him off. Now he's just a dick.

I'm a member of the Tough Brets.

I hate when that happens.

I see what you did there.

Maybe he cut it off with hit Schick Quatro while manscaping.

theoriginalslash: If you can't be more careful with your penis than that, you shouldn't be allowed to have one.

lol. I like the cut of your gib.

Unavailable for comment

/hot like murder!

jaylectricity: Dr. Rosenrosen: jaylectricity: I cringe at the idea of putting my dick in somebody's pooper.

Wow, TMI. But since you brought it up.... try it, you might like it!

I've tried it. It wasn't worth getting my little man dirty.

next time tell your boyfriend to wash his a$$ first next time...i make my wife wash her a$$ then i shove my dirty penis in her...

Free Willy!!!

I think at the point that I accidentally removed my manhood and couldnt get it back I would just opt for a sex change and hope they could relocate a couple of nerves so I could orgasm. Wait I just put way too much thought into that. Does that make me teh ghey?

/Cringes

ZombieStomper: I wonder if they'll find his penis lying on a blanket
next to a broken toaster oven.

And have to talk the seller down to $17 from $22?

Holy cow crap! If he was a nutter, that's kind of sad, it not... What would guys do without the little man?

*personally as a woman, I am a big fan of the pener! Please don't cut it off! I have uses for that!

Colonel_Debugger: Penis goes WENT where?

Lorena Bobbette is reading this and is getting a kick out of it.

Lobs?

Lops, you morans!

Yes, expectations of the Sun using English are foolish.

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot were probably the appropriate actions for such an event. Down a swig of whiskey and dance awkwardly while trying to forget the pain you're feeling.

Strik3r: I like how they feature a pic of the toilet (or loo) like it's responsible for his stupidity.

What a toilet might look like?

monkeyman3875: Please tell me he got the rest of his manhood too and Darwin has won this one.

That paints a disturbing mental image.

I mean, think about it. Now that the shaft is gone, his chances of impregnating anyone would be about as low as a car's chances of getting gassed up at a gas station where all the pumps have been severed.

I think this is the reason my work's proxy completely blocks "The Sun"

Sin_City_Superhero. OMG! Did you just have to that to me?!?! I almost spit my coffee on a nice flat screen monitor!

Yes, that's right, your honor. This man has no dick.


/hot as singed marshmallow

he got the "penis goes in the hole" part right, just the wrong hole.

/what a toilet may look like.

You should've seen the look on his face when the doctor told him it wouldn't grow back.

A lob is a soft, high toss or hit, cutting something off is a lop. Nobody noticed? Is this still Fark?