I suppose someone should say something...


Submitter is a sissy.

MOM??????

What bliss it must have been to live in a world before there were Pittsburgh Steeler fans...

She looks serious, farkers. Get off her lawn. She's waited this long.

Forget lawn, get off her primordial ooze.

Interesting, but whats with the picture of a decorated tree?

Uzbekistan?

Yeah. I'll take their word for it...

Many third world countries claim to have the oldest person alive. A few have claimed to be over 130. It's almost impossible to verify, though, and extremely unlikely. Record keeping was so bad in these areas in the 1800s that her birth certificate probably wasn't issued until she was at least 30, which hardly makes it a reliable document for determining her age.

That's nice!

/sexy-time
//subbies back is sore from given this granny a jostle in the sack

\\has many other fine women to sell

She looks depressed.

I was looking through the slide show the article offered and they showed her passport labeled as being issued in 1997.

Passport:


Here she is now:


This is only 12 years ago. The amount of wrinkling between 1997 and now seems too much to be a believable depiction. Did she prune up like a mother-farker starting only at 116 but was fairly fine up to that point? Did she have her picture touched up in a Stalin-level effort to hide her appearance? It seems like the document must be inaccurate or a fake. As awesome as it is to have exceedingly old people around, I'm leaning to this being bunk.

And as a note to pedobear/gilf hunters, if she really is 128, she could be a great great great great great great great grandmother.

/assuming she and her children popped out babies starting at 13.

Wow, she doesn't look a day over 115!

kyleaugustus: And as a note to pedobear/gilf hunters, if she really is 128, she could be a great great great great great great great grandmother.

/assuming she and her children popped out babies starting at 13.


You are calling out Pedo/gilf people and your own first thought was, "Girls can have babies at 13 years old."?

*fap*

SMOIT!: kyleaugustus: And as a note to pedobear/gilf hunters, if she really is 128, she could be a great great great great great great great grandmother.

/assuming she and her children popped out babies starting at 13.


You are calling out Pedo/gilf people and your own first thought was, "Girls can have babies at 13 years old."?

Yeah... maybe... so what? It would be a statement of simple facts of human anatomy. Some females are capable of being impregnated as early as 8, but I went for an age I figured to be more universal. This is an article about extremes, discussing the potential number of generations she may have lead to while still alive is a fascination. I have had patients in EMS that are in their late-90s and have out lived both their children and their grandchildren.

did they cut her in half and count the rings

Imagine the history she has personally witnessed. Somebody needs to record her story.

kyleaugustus:
This is only 12 years ago. The amount of wrinkling between 1997 and now seems too much to be a believable depiction. Did she prune up like a mother-farker starting only at 116 but was fairly fine up to that point? Did she have her picture touched up in a Stalin-level effort to hide her appearance? It seems like the document must be inaccurate or a fake. As awesome as it is to have exceedingly old people around, I'm leaning to this being bunk.

Perhaps they reissued a new passport in 97, but reused the picture from the previously expired passport?

/Just renewed my license
//RMV was going to allow me to keep my 8 year old pic.
///Took a new one.
////Should have kept the old one.

I've got my left ischias nerve stuck in my spine, so I think I'll keep up complaining about it. I will, however, hobble ever so slowly off her lawn.

Terron: did they cut her in half and count the rings


My wife asked me that same thing this morning when I told her about this story. I said I didn't know.

kyleaugustus: This is only 12 years ago. The amount of wrinkling between 1997 and now seems too much to be a believable depiction. Did she prune up like a mother-farker starting only at 116 but was fairly fine up to that point?

She is like all women from the former soviet bloc; they age at an astonishing rate. I would put her age at about 35.

kyleaugustus: I was looking through the slide show the article offered and they showed her passport labeled as being issued in 1997.

Passport:


Here she is now:


This is only 12 years ago. The amount of wrinkling between 1997 and now seems too much to be a believable depiction. Did she prune up like a mother-farker starting only at 116 but was fairly fine up to that point? Did she have her picture touched up in a Stalin-level effort to hide her appearance? It seems like the document must be inaccurate or a fake. As awesome as it is to have exceedingly old people around, I'm leaning to this being bunk.

Well when someone becomes President, they age faster than most other people. Maybe she had a lot of stress. Perhaps she's just dehydrated. It's a good question to be sure.

DirtyOldGeek 2009-02-01 09:15:36 AM
Imagine the history she has personally witnessed

Dear Diary; Gregory peed in the well again. That's the 25th time this year and it's still January. My chickens are fine. Well, see you next week.

Uzbeks... they are the weak link in the great chain of Socialism.

ZackDanger: kyleaugustus:
This is only 12 years ago. The amount of wrinkling between 1997 and now seems too much to be a believable depiction. Did she prune up like a mother-farker starting only at 116 but was fairly fine up to that point? Did she have her picture touched up in a Stalin-level effort to hide her appearance? It seems like the document must be inaccurate or a fake. As awesome as it is to have exceedingly old people around, I'm leaning to this being bunk.

Perhaps they reissued a new passport in 97, but reused the picture from the previously expired passport?

If that is the case then records should show he claiming a certain age many decades ago. It could lead to other records.

Also the ages of claimed children and grandchildren should be better documented. Do Uzbekistan birth certificates include the age of the parents?

But it is entirely possible that bad record keeping and/or wars, accidents, etc. resulting in loss of records will prevent verification of the age even if true.

And it is also very possible that she is lying. That part of the world has certainly had more than its fair share of people claiming to be far older than they really are.

In any event, maybe the Dannon yogurt people can restart their old practice of accepting dubious claims of extreme old age in the former Soviet Union when the old people say they eat yogurt.

quadcam 2009-02-01 07:50:08 AM


\\has many other fine women to sell

I believe you were going for Kazakhstan, not Uzbekistan.

You damn dirty ape!

Like you'd really trust AOL news anyway. Having worked for Time Warner you won't believe what those assholes are still telling people.

NobleHam: Record keeping was so bad in these areas in the 1800s that her birth certificate probably wasn't issued until she was at least 30, which hardly makes it a reliable document for determining her age.

But Hawaiian officials have verified it!

I'm not dead yet.

Dear Jerk: DirtyOldGeek 2009-02-01 09:15:36 AM
Imagine the history she has personally witnessed

Dear Diary; Gregory Grigorii peed in the well again. That's the 25th time this year and it's still January. My chickens are fine. Well, see you next week.

FTFY

DirtyOldGeek: Imagine the history she has personally witnessed. Somebody needs to record her story.


I'm guessing it would go something like this: Poverty, poverty, war, poverty, poverty, poverty, war, war, poverty, poverty,war, war, war, poverty, poverty, poverty, poverty, poverty, poverty.

128-year-old woman found in Uzbekistan. 28-year-old submitter reconsidering complaints about his sore back



smells like a alkaline trio reference...Subby taking a standard break from life?

Time to saddle up Binky.

The Babushka!!

Guess_Who: quadcam 2009-02-01 07:50:08 AM

\\has many other fine women to sell

I believe you were going for Kazakhstan, not Uzbekistan.






"This is my country of Kazakhstan. It locate between Tajikistan, and Kyrgyzstan, and assholes Uzbekistan."



/Yes, Kazahkstan doesn't actually touch Tajikistan... im just going with the quote here.

To the haters:
The USA didn't have much of a reliable records system either in the 1880s. Nobody knows WHERE or WHEN my great grandmother was born.

So, Pot, meet Kettle.

It couldn't possibly be yet another case of someone from a former Soviet republic who fudged their age, often to get out of military service...

adeist69: DirtyOldGeek: Imagine the history she has personally witnessed. Somebody needs to record her story.


I'm guessing it would go something like this: Poverty, poverty, war, poverty, poverty, poverty, war, war, poverty, poverty,war, war, war, poverty, poverty, poverty, poverty, poverty, poverty.

You could also go with Poverty, mediocre, mediocre, war, poverty, mediocre, wealthy, wealthy, war, war, mediocre, wealthy, *internet -- ability to check with the rest of the world*, horribly poor, horribly poor, war, war, horribly poor

How the hell do they know she's 128? What'd they do, cut open a bone and count the rings?

reminds me of a joke. how the oldest man in the world was from some central Asian socialist country and that he was living under the same roof with his father and grandfather.

no really I imagine back then when they were accounting people for communal farm slavery and they needed to put down their age, it went like: married? yes. married, should make her above 20 by law. has children? yes the papers say she has. therefore over 30. and so the years pile up.

NEW ORLEANS-Area dock worker Bert Greer celebrated his birthday with a quiet party at his home Sunday, surrounded by family. Asked the secret to his astounding longevity, the feisty 134-year-old credited "healthy eating, a good walk every evening, and a Social Security worker's accidental striking of an extra digit while typing in my age." The remarkable Greer, who remembers meeting President Lyndon Johnson as a young boy, said he has "no plans to retire any time soon."

kyleaugustus


My Texas D.L. still has my picture from when I was 17. I am now 38. That picture is probably from the 30's or 40's. There's really no way to tell, but I wouldn't discount this based solely on the passport photo.

Place of Birth: Karakalpakistan.....wtf???

World's oldest person

114-year-old Gertrude Baines says an "occasional piece of crispy bacon" has aided her longevity.

Bacon helps you live longer!

Dear Jerk: DirtyOldGeek 2009-02-01 09:15:36 AM
Imagine the history she has personally witnessed

Dear Diary; Gregory peed in the well again. That's the 25th time this year and it's still January. My chickens are fine. Well, see you next week.

Was going to type s similar response. You stole my idea. :(

Well, from what I've heard on the Disco Channel, you supposedly stop aging at 90 or so, so you could theoretically live for as long as your cells will keep dividing, barring any accident. Of course, the accidents are what get you. And the flu, of course.

TopoGigo: Well, from what I've heard on the Disco Channel, you supposedly stop aging at 90 or so, so you could theoretically live for as long as your cells will keep dividing, barring any accident. Of course, the accidents are what get you. And the flu, of course.

Oh, well, if it's the Disco Channel, that changes everything!!