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(The News & Observer (NC)) Scary Good Day: You decide to learn skydiving. Bad Day: Your instructor dies of a heart attack. Worse Day: In mid-air while you're strapped to him   (newsobserver.com) divider line 90
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blazemongr 2009-01-31 10:22:00 PM  
It's sure a bad time for flyin'
While your instructor's dyin'
So it's good luck
You both are stuck
In a parachute built for two

 
Joelogon [TotalFark] 2009-01-31 10:31:12 PM  
That ranks up there with the "I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather, not screaming in terror like his passengers."

Also: When they landed on the ground, the diver tried unsuccessfully to revive his instructor using CPR. But the heart attack occurred about a minute into the jump, and too much time had elapsed for the instructor to have any chance of surviving, said Chester County Coroner Terry Tinker.

Obviously, we need a protocol for free-fall CPR.

 
CtrlAltDelete [TotalFark] 2009-01-31 10:41:40 PM  
Joelogon: Obviously, we need a protocol for free-fall CPR.

Punch them in the chest repeatedly and try to face them into the fall so the wind inflates their lungs.

 
Joelogon [TotalFark] 2009-01-31 10:46:29 PM  
CtrlAltDelete: Joelogon: Obviously, we need a protocol for free-fall CPR.

Punch them in the chest repeatedly and try to face them into the fall so the wind inflates their lungs.


Unfortunately, the whole being strapped to the front of the instructor may limit the effectiveness of that technique.

 
AntiNorm [TotalFark] 2009-01-31 10:47:00 PM  
Did he die in freefall? If so, then that student is damn lucky they had an AAD (which USPA requires for tandem jumps). That doesn't answer how the landing went, though. Did the student know to flare?

/sent his cypres in for its 8-year service about a month and a half ago

 
cryinoutloud [TotalFark] 2009-01-31 10:49:23 PM  
last day: The instructor died of shock when he realized that he'd forgotten to bring the parachute.

 
blazemongr 2009-01-31 10:50:39 PM  
CtrlAltDelete: Joelogon: Obviously, we need a protocol for free-fall CPR.

Punch them in the chest repeatedly and try to face them into the fall so the wind inflates their lungs.


Didn't Spidey and Venom do this in "Spider-Man 3"?

 
blazemongr 2009-01-31 10:51:32 PM  
AntiNorm: that student is damn lucky they had an AAD (which USPA requires for tandem jumps).

How is he "lucky" if the device was mandatory?

 
CtrlAltDelete [TotalFark] 2009-01-31 10:54:03 PM  
Joelogon: Unfortunately, the whole being strapped to the front of the instructor may limit the effectiveness of that technique.

Hmmm... Well how about- ..Sh*t. I got no more ideas.

 
AntiNorm [TotalFark] 2009-01-31 11:05:24 PM  
blazemongr: How is he "lucky" if the device was mandatory?

He's lucky the device was required, I guess? USPA doesn't require them for experienced jumpers, though some individual drop zones (like the one I go to) do. Before I moved out here, I jumped at a DZ that didn't require them, and I didn't have one...no big deal, since I was experienced, but if something had happened to me in freefall, I would have "gone in" for sure.

 
Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener [TotalFark] 2009-01-31 11:10:34 PM  
"OH SHIAT! THIS WASN'T IN THE MANUAL!! AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!"

 
xuanzhiyouxuan 2009-01-31 11:21:06 PM  
I will never ever go skydiving. People say, "oh why not do tandem, they know what they're doing?"

This is why.

 
Gyrfalcon [TotalFark] 2009-01-31 11:22:13 PM  
Good Day: You decide to learn skydiving. Bad Day: Your instructor dies of a heart attack. Worse Day: In mid-air while you're strapped to him

Worst Day Possible: You have 10,000 feet to sit in your own sh*t while you float to the ground with a dead guy strapped to your back.

 
Joce678 2009-01-31 11:28:04 PM  
Gyrfalcon:
Worst Day Possible: You have 10,000 feet to sit in your own sh*t while you float to the ground with a dead guy strapped to your back.


After reading that story I'm going to insist on a "jettison instructor" cord when I do my jump next week. If they refuse that I'm going to take my Spyderco rescue knife with me.

 
Stray Cat Strut 2009-01-31 11:29:15 PM  
Out of everything else, this was my biggest fear the first time I went skydiving. Yikes.

/that and pooping myself

 
deadapostle [TotalFark] 2009-01-31 11:29:22 PM  
This is an awesome way to explain a murder. It would be awesome if we found out that the instructor was dead before they jumped out of the plane, and the "student" was actually a serial killer.

 
deadapostle [TotalFark] 2009-01-31 11:31:09 PM  
Joce678: Gyrfalcon:
Worst Day Possible: You have 10,000 feet to sit in your own sh*t while you float to the ground with a dead guy strapped to your back.

After reading that story I'm going to insist on a "jettison instructor" cord when I do my jump next week. If they refuse that I'm going to take my Spyderco rescue knife with me.


I'm pretty sure the pack is attached to the instructor. You might do well to go down with the guy. I know that I would much rather skydive with a dead guy strapped to my back than spend the last 30 seconds of my life hurtling toward the ground, wondering why I cut the cord.

 
Dull Cow Eyes 2009-01-31 11:31:45 PM  
So I did this in Texas back in 3rd quarter 2000. What do I remember? That my gloves had a hole in them and my hands were really f*cking cold during the jump.

I jumped off the farking plane during one of the worst emotional periods in my life...but it taught me one important thing: don't jump a f*cking building, because it's too damn cold.

Feeling much better since.

 
I8B4U 2009-01-31 11:33:47 PM  
Stray Cat Strut: Out of everything else, this was my biggest fear the first time I went skydiving. Yikes.

/that and pooping myself


I think my biggest fear would be pulling the cord and having pots & pans come out instead!

 
sarcastic664 2009-01-31 11:34:38 PM  
I feel really, really bad for laughing.

/Screw you, I've been drinking

 
Gyrfalcon [TotalFark] 2009-01-31 11:34:41 PM  
deadapostle: Joce678: Gyrfalcon:
Worst Day Possible: You have 10,000 feet to sit in your own sh*t while you float to the ground with a dead guy strapped to your back.

After reading that story I'm going to insist on a "jettison instructor" cord when I do my jump next week. If they refuse that I'm going to take my Spyderco rescue knife with me.

I'm pretty sure the pack is attached to the instructor. You might do well to go down with the guy. I know that I would much rather skydive with a dead guy strapped to my back than spend the last 30 seconds of my life hurtling toward the ground, wondering why I cut the cord.


I didn't say you wouldn't go down with him. I'm just saying it wouldn't be much fun while you did it.

 
TeddyRooseveltsMustache [TotalFark] 2009-01-31 11:35:29 PM  
I bet one of them polluted their breeches during that fall.

 
DaddyBluto 2009-01-31 11:36:18 PM  
A 49-year-old skydiving instructor died of an apparent heart attack Saturday afternoon, seconds after jumping out of a plane with a firstlast-time diver.

 
skinink 2009-01-31 11:38:18 PM  

 
Klivian 2009-01-31 11:40:49 PM  
More bad news: the instructor contains sodium benzoate

 
AntiNorm [TotalFark] 2009-01-31 11:43:56 PM  
deadapostle: I'm pretty sure the pack is attached to the instructor.

It is. And, like I said in my Weeners, there's a safety device that will automatically open the parachute if your instructor doesn't.

 
stevegarbowski 2009-01-31 11:44:13 PM  
Klivian: More bad news: the instructor contains sodium benzoate

to retard spoilage?

 
sarcastic664 2009-01-31 11:44:17 PM  
skinink: Imfamous moments in skydiving:
What do naked skydivers look like (NSFW)?
What happens if you skydive with dentures, and you smile?


Wow, boobs become concave. Who woulda guessed?

 
Quantum Apostrophe 2009-01-31 11:44:47 PM  
blazemongr: How is he "lucky" if the device was mandatory?

Cuz god was with him!

 
fernanernie 2009-01-31 11:45:10 PM  
So did he get a refund on his instructor fees?

 
enkafan 2009-01-31 11:45:33 PM  
I'd think actually dying might be worse than diving with a dead guy, but to each their own.

 
ipsofacto 2009-01-31 11:46:27 PM  
tbn0.google.com

 
ipsofacto 2009-01-31 11:48:02 PM  
www.mustardweb.org

 
Wild Monkey Love 2009-01-31 11:54:38 PM  
ipso, just delivering the bride and scootin' under bridges.
costner's best imho(tonight)

 
Tr0mBoNe [TotalFark] 2009-01-31 11:55:02 PM  
Our security officer at work was a member of the Airborne Regiment in Canada and he's a great source of interesting stories. He's gone civie jumping but doesn't understand the fun... he's used to dropping at 800 feet and hitting the ground with a purpose.

 
nhoj1962 2009-01-31 11:55:19 PM  
I feel for the instructor and the first timer, and nominate a subsequent Hero tag for the first timer doing CPR upon landing [and for being able to do the landing safely, with all that had to be going through his mind].

I flew with my father in single engine planes for years, which some people also think is crazy. My father would land, and while braking, turn to me and say, "cheated it again" followed by a great laugh.

He told me years ago, "when it's your time to go, it's your time to go, you just don't want to be in a plane when it's the pilot's time to go. I guess that applies to this story if you substitute instructor for pilot.

/I loved my tandem jump and am glad I ponied up the extra $40 for some lucky guy to get a free jump and video the whole day.

 
SuperNinjaToad 2009-01-31 11:56:03 PM  
For the ignorant folks here, when you jump tandem who has access to pulling the cord? The beginner or the instructor?

At any rate I think the student has balls of steel to even have the calmness and composure to perform a CPR on his instructor immediately after a definitive shiat in a pants moment! Kudos to him.

 
Rodeodoc 2009-01-31 11:58:12 PM  
skinink: Imfamous moments in skydiving:

The guy in the middle must be hard as a stone. I would have thought his weener would be flapping like a sheet in the wind. The boobies are certainly compressed.

 
EngineerBob 2009-01-31 11:59:21 PM  
cryinoutloud 2009-01-31 10:49:23 PM
last day: The instructor died of shock when he realized that he'd forgotten to bring the parachute.

A few years back, a videographer - an experienced jumper mind you -got so involved with the excitement of others jumping he forgot he wasn't wearing one and .....Faaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrkkkkkkkkk

 
2wheeljunkie [TotalFark] 2009-01-31 11:59:32 PM  
AntiNorm: student is damn lucky they had an AAD

The AAD is definitely one of the greatest things to happen to skydiving. However, when I did my tandem, there was an auxiliary ripcord on the rig (strong) for the student, and it was pretty well explained. TFA doesn't describe the events after the instructor died, but I'd imagine there's some more detailed info on dropzone.

I'm thinking about finally heading back to get a license in the spring.

 
Wrong_Intentions 2009-02-01 12:00:47 AM  
The student's one hell of a quick study.

 
Smeggy Smurf 2009-02-01 12:00:57 AM  
Gyrfalcon: Good Day: You decide to learn skydiving. Bad Day: Your instructor dies of a heart attack. Worse Day: In mid-air while you're strapped to him

Worst Day Possible: You have 10,000 feet to sit in your own sh*t while you float to the ground with a dead guy strapped to your back.


Even worse day possible: You're nude skydiving with a dead fat naked man strapped to your back and Oprah went out ahead of you with shiatting the whole way down

 
AntiNorm [TotalFark] 2009-02-01 12:01:40 AM  
Tr0mBoNe: Our security officer at work was a member of the Airborne Regiment in Canada and he's a great source of interesting stories. He's gone civie jumping but doesn't understand the fun... he's used to dropping at 800 feet and hitting the ground with a purpose.

He hasn't done any freefalling! That's where it's at.


nhoj1962: /I loved my tandem jump and am glad I ponied up the extra $40 for some lucky guy to get a free jump and video the whole day.

I have a high enough certification level (C license) now that I'm considered qualified to do freefall video. I might get into that this year. It sounds damn fun, and I already enjoy watching how new people react to the whole process.

 
2wheeljunkie [TotalFark] 2009-02-01 12:04:15 AM  
SuperNinjaToad: when you jump tandem who has access to pulling the cord?

I can't speak for every type of tandem rig, but the one I jumped had both if I remember correctly, or at least it was accessible to both people. I pulled, but the instructor can if the student freezes up.

 
Tr0mBoNe [TotalFark] 2009-02-01 12:07:04 AM  
AntiNorm: Tr0mBoNe: Our security officer at work was a member of the Airborne Regiment in Canada and he's a great source of interesting stories. He's gone civie jumping but doesn't understand the fun... he's used to dropping at 800 feet and hitting the ground with a purpose.

He hasn't done any freefalling! That's where it's at.


Personally, I'd agree with you. Feels good man.

But he's strange. I hope he wasn't involved with this (new window) but I wouldn't be surprised if he was.

 
DIGITALgimpus 2009-02-01 12:08:06 AM  
deadapostle: This is an awesome way to explain a murder. It would be awesome if we found out that the instructor was dead before they jumped out of the plane, and the "student" was actually a serial killer.

This isn't a heart attack... this is a murder.
i99.photobucket.com

 
xbattlewax 2009-02-01 12:08:33 AM  
Good thing it didn't happen during this jump.

Link (new window)

 
Ishidan [TotalFark] 2009-02-01 12:09:11 AM  
Rodeodoc: skinink: Imfamous moments in skydiving:

The guy in the middle must be hard as a stone. I would have thought his weener would be flapping like a sheet in the wind. The boobies are certainly compressed.


Who says it WASN'T? Still photo, just happens to catch it on the downstroke.
Unlike, say, thisNSFW

 
Pokey.Clyde [TotalFark] 2009-02-01 12:10:50 AM  
- Arch

- Look

- Reach

- Pull

- Clear

- Check

/that simple

 
baxterdog [TotalFark] 2009-02-01 12:11:17 AM  
runway behind us, sky below, and fuel in the tank, please.

 
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