What do your kids do in the company?
My oldest son, Chris, is my right-hand man

I cannot believe she gave that answer with a straight face.

Does your husband work at the company?
Believe it or not, [Bob Brisben] does all of our defectives, anything that comes in broken.

Or that one.

Intimacy hits the back door. [The creams] are so much nicer than ingesting medication.

Let alone that one.

"My mom said that she's going to show every single order form of what your moms bought at her party."

Now THAT is leverage.

MasterThief: "My mom said that she's going to show every single order form of what your moms bought at her party."

Now THAT is leverage.

That was a pretty good response, actually, though even better would be to say something like "My Mom can satisfy your Mom better than your Dad can."

Yeah?
Well, My Dad Licked YOUR Dad

Any relation to thumb head guy?

She would be burned at the stake in Alabama

Well, isn't that special?

erveek: Well, isn't that special?

Beat me to it, but I need to post this anyway:



/still one of the funnier things I've ever seen on SNL

We are a nation of low libido.

Wow. Really?

These in-home parties are actually pretty annoying to most females that I know. It seems like many people are getting into this game, trying to sell a variety of products to their "friends," be it tupperware, candles, makeup, or (in this case) sex toys to their friends. Females feel that they might offend the "host" if they did not attend, and if they do attend, feel unreasonably compelled to purchase at least one of the goods that are offered (because otherwise the host might be offended). Wine is frequently present at these "parties." It seems predatory to me. Maybe a female with some experience in these matters could shed some more light on the issue in this thread.

Can a sister get an "Amen"?

/got nothing

Oh, come all ye faithful?

I can't believe they take back defective sex toys, i'd probably rather take the loss then deal with someone's used broken dildo's

Patty Brisben is a churchgoing mother of four who has made millions selling sex toys at private in-home gatherings not unlike Tupperware parties.

My dildometer points to BS. No, not Butt Seks.

FTFA: Does your husband work at the company?

Believe it or not, [Bob Brisben] does all of our defectives, anything that comes in broken.

H-h-h-honey...th-th-this whu-whu-whu-one seems to-oo-oo be Oh! Oh! Oh! Okay!

Surely the church doesn't have a problem with dildos, right? I mean, yeah, it's sexual in nature but... so???

NSFW (new window)

I remember that song from the seventies!

Shake it up, shake it down
Move it in, move it round, dildo lady
Move it in, move it out, move it in round about, dildo lady
Shake it up, shake it down
Move it in, move it around, dildo lady....

Hey, dildos don't necessarily lead to;
Premarital sex
Abortion
Unwanted pregnancies

From a Church's perspective, dildos are probably better than birth control, and if used alone, defer, delay or reduce actual intercourse.

What's not to like about dildos from a Church's perspective?

And if anyone has seen any pictures of her testing that stuff, PLZ post the website.

"Mom! Kitty's being a dildo!"

Who are your clients?

They're 18 to 80, all walks of life. We have doctors, lawyers, salespeople, police officers. School teachers are huge. Nurses - huge partygoers.

If that's true, how come fark is rampant with "teacher needs a minor" stories?

She specifically talks about selling to couples, yet there's some angry right wingers in the comments that seem to think that a monogamy based heterosexual couple having sex is bad.

We wonder why they hate gays so much, but they are against married couples having sex. Basically all I have to is wow....

Bigsextoystore.com delivers right to the mailbox. No need for a get-together.

Don't know about those freakin monster jobs, tho. UPS, I'd imagine. Or freight truck.

Poor lady got dildoed by a mom and a churchgoer. What is this world coming too.

Killerclaw: She specifically talks about selling to couples, yet there's some angry right wingers in the comments that seem to think that a monogamy based heterosexual couple having sex is bad.

We wonder why they hate gays so much, but they are against married couples having sex. Basically all I have to is wow....

Even more wow is that Alabama made possession of sex toys illegal.

Hi what's going on in here

/shh don't speak

FTFA:
"...[stretch] of the imagination"

Usually the toys stretch something else.

thereadlines: We are a nation of low libido.

Wow. Really?

These in-home parties are actually pretty annoying to most females that I know. It seems like many people are getting into this game, trying to sell a variety of products to their "friends," be it tupperware, candles, makeup, or (in this case) sex toys to their friends. Females feel that they might offend the "host" if they did not attend, and if they do attend, feel unreasonably compelled to purchase at least one of the goods that are offered (because otherwise the host might be offended). Wine is frequently present at these "parties." It seems predatory to me. Maybe a female with some experience in these matters could shed some more light on the issue in this thread.

I have been to three of these parties - only one as a couple. Can't say there has ever been alcohol involved in any of them. They are usually pretty amusing without it.
When it's just the females, they talk about raunchy stuff, though usually as respectful as you can be while talking about anal. There are games involved like you'd play at a bachelorette party. You can learn a thing or two about sex and how to have more fun.
Never been compelled to buy anything either. Most of it is overpriced and cheaply made.
The sales women are always obese ladies in their late 40s talking about being empowered and making their own money or some shiat.
IMO, it is really just a funny way to spend a Thursday night at your friend's.
Tupperware, Pampered Chef, candle parties...booooring. I'd rather watch the fat lady wave around 9" dildos.

Where is PAT?

nhoj1962:
From a Church's perspective, dildos are probably better than birth control, and if used alone, defer, delay or reduce actual intercourse.

Oh, so it's only a sin for men to masturbate. Great. We get farked in the ass, again!

So Xtians have a problem with someone enjoying the sex they are supposed to be getting that atheists aren't?


Oh my bad, they are supposed to feel guilty about enjoying it and not having a kid each and every time they do the horizontal mamba...

thereadlines: eople are getting into this game, trying to sell a variety of products to their "friends," be it tupperware, candles, makeup, or (in this case) sex toys to their friends. Females feel that they might offend the "host" if they did not attend, and if they do attend, feel unreasonably compelled to purchase at least one of the goods that are offered (because otherwise the host might be offended). Wine is frequently present at these "parties." It seems predatory to me. Maybe a female with some experience in these matters could shed some more light on the issue in this thread.

I've been to a few parties like this, and yes, the girl who was doing the selling was a friend. I honestly found it more uncomfortable because it was a bunch of people I knew who were all getting a presentation and talking about their sex lives than anything else. I don't care about knowing what a stranger's fantasies are, but it was kind of weird finding out about my best friend's, and having her hear mine. I did also buy things both times though, but not because I felt like I had to, I actually wanted what I got.

If I could go to another in the future though, I would rather go to one hosted and attended by people I don't know quite so well.

superkt: I'd rather watch the fat lady wave around 9" dildos.

Have I got a porno for you!

Killerclaw:
We wonder why they hate gays so much, but they are against married couples having sex. Basically all I have to [missing verb] is wow....

Well, what do you expect when they've been raised since birth to believe that they were born evil and vile?

The_Sponge: "Mom! Kitty's being a dildo!"

Well, then I know a certain kitty-kitty who's sleeping with Mommy tonight.

Lenny_da_Hog: Killerclaw: She specifically talks about selling to couples, yet there's some angry right wingers in the comments that seem to think that a monogamy based heterosexual couple having sex is bad.

We wonder why they hate gays so much, but they are against married couples having sex. Basically all I have to is wow....

Even more wow is that Alabama made possession of sex toys illegal.

I think it was the sale of them, not possession, but I could be wrong. Might as well make dicks illegal. ANYTHING can be used as a sex toy. It's the application they apparently have hangups about.

I'm not going to hotlink it and it should generally be considered as NSFW. I present for your consideration a Christian sex toy store.

http://www.book22.com

GWSuperfan: The_Sponge: "Mom! Kitty's being a dildo!"

Well, then I know a certain kitty-kitty who's sleeping with Mommy tonight.


*Assist*

He shoots, he scores!

"People are tired, they're overworked, they're stressed out. Intimacy hits the back door"
/snickers
back door
i guess that's way the lube is selling well

Hacker_X: I'm not going to hotlink it and it should generally be considered as NSFW. I present for your consideration a Christian sex toy store.

http://www.book22.com

Wow. I like the "52 orgasm tips." The paragraph explaining them is the best.

"52 Orgasm Tips will help you do just that! Each flash card includes an illustration with quick and easy step by step instructions. Great creative orgasm ideas for a year at your fingertips!

Soooo which day of the week do christians have sex? I bet it's Saturday night, so they can get up bright and early the next day and go repent for their sins at church.

How do you reconcile selling millions of dollars worth of sex toys with being a devoted churchgoer?



Easy.

Bearded Clamorer, I am so going to hell.

Agnus Dei, qui tolis pecata mundi, mi se re-re nobis.

In Gloria Dei Patris, Amen.

Heck with it, window seat please...

superkt: I have been to three of these parties - only one as a couple. Can't say there has ever been alcohol involved in any of them. They are usually pretty amusing without it.
When it's just the females, they talk about raunchy stuff, though usually as respectful as you can be while talking about anal. There are games involved like you'd play at a bachelorette party. You can learn a thing or two about sex and how to have more fun.
Never been compelled to buy anything either. Most of it is overpriced and cheaply made.
The sales women are always obese ladies in their late 40s talking about being empowered and making their own money or some shiat.
IMO, it is really just a funny way to spend a Thursday night at your friend's.
Tupperware, Pampered Chef, candle parties...booooring. I'd rather watch the fat lady wave around 9" dildos.

I have also been to a few of these parties and came here to say "THIS!". Any purchasing and ordering was done at the end, in a private room with the sales rep. That way your sister-in -law wouldn't find out about the red leather crotchless panties and matching whip you just ordered.

The personal favorite of Christians, Jews, Muslims, Hindus, and non believers too:

Link (new window)

heebie_stevo: Soooo which day of the week do christians have sex? I bet it's Saturday night, so they can get up bright and early the next day and go repent for their sins at church.

Sex is something we have to repent for?

That sad thing is that, as a heterosexual male, I'm never invited to things like this. It would be nice for some guys, too, as gifts for our partners and merely additional bedroom tools.

/the girlfriend is kinky as hell
//it rules

Up in our neck of the woods, we call them Fukkerware Parties.

And speaking of religion, I have such a hard (heh heh "hard") time believing that god would give human women a clit, which serves NO useful purpose other than sexual pleasure and then says "Hey now! Don't you be playing with that!"

Seems like a pretty cruel god if that's what you believe in.

I've been to two of these. The second one was so much fun my face hurt from laughing afterward. My friend hosted a lingeree shower for her step-daughter and the step-daughter's friends arranged for the sex-toy seller to show up. Margaritas flowed for all. It was hilarious, especially seeing someone you'd guess would be Miss Prim and Proper pass one toy after another around commenting on whether she already owned that one or not and what she thought of it. The funniest part was seeing the bride-to-be's grandma waving a big dildo around and saying "I can't take this home; it would hurt 'grand-pa's' feelings."
These parties are great for women who wouldn't step foot in a sex shop. As others have said, all ordering is done in private. Plus, I've always thought it would be the easiest party plan to earn money with. I mean I can see a husband being p.o'd about his wife ordering a hundred bucks worth of Tupperware, but only screaming "Hell Yeah!" when told his wife just blew twice that on motion lotion,anal beads and a nurses outfit, etc...
/not that I know this from personal experience.
/that's just what I assume, dammitt!

At least it wasn't an obituary headline.

Wait, is 'dildo' a noun or a verb in the headline?