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(AlterNet) Obvious "Atheists are not routinely happier, healthier and wealthier than believers. According to most surveys, they don't even have more sex."   (alternet.org) divider line 452
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You_mean_Im_gonna_stay_this_color [TotalFark] 2009-01-31 12:05:13 PM  
Ignorance is bliss.

 
pwhp_67 2009-01-31 12:06:54 PM  
And you wonder why they don't believe in a higher power?

 
le mew [TotalFark] 2009-01-31 12:11:17 PM  
Since when do they claim to be so?

/not an atheist

 
DamnYankees [TotalFark] 2009-01-31 12:13:17 PM  
I wasn't aware this was an argument atheists make in their defense...

 
Mordant [TotalFark] 2009-01-31 12:15:48 PM  
DamnYankees: I wasn't aware this was an argument atheists make in their defense...

we are so badly organized when it comes to these things. Almost like the whole point is NOT to have to be in a little magic club.

 
Lionel Mandrake [TotalFark] 2009-01-31 12:17:15 PM  
DamnYankees: I wasn't aware this was an argument atheists make in their defense...

I came to say exactly this...

...and RTFA for context didn't help make the "point" any more salient.

 
Eddie Adams from Torrance [TotalFark] 2009-01-31 12:25:57 PM  
Of course we don't have more sex.

Do you know how hard it is for an atheist to lure an altar boy into the confessional?

 
sloppy shoes 2009-01-31 12:27:10 PM  
Eddie Adams from Torrance: Do you know how hard it is for an atheist to lure an altar boy into the confessional?

I don't know, how many alter boys are there on Fark?

;-)

 
eddie van heinous 2009-01-31 12:33:59 PM  
Eddie Adams from Torrance: Of course we don't have more sex.

Do you know how hard it is for an atheist to lure an altar boy into the confessional?


ZING!

 
trouzourt [TotalFark] 2009-01-31 12:40:39 PM  
Eddie Adams from Torrance: Of course we don't have more sex.

Do you know how hard it is for an atheist to lure an altar boy into the confessional?


I came here to say something funny, but i can't stop Laughing at this...

also I dont think we should use the word "we" to describe ourselves.
that just makes us look like an organised something..

 
JerseyTim [TotalFark] 2009-01-31 12:52:50 PM  
We're not a team. We didn't choose a side. This isn't the Chicago Bears. We don't believe in the supernatural. It's going to take a proof of facts to change that, not an explanation of the benefits.

 
PacersJAM3s 2009-01-31 01:26:14 PM  
Side A: People who believe in the supernatural are idiots.
Side B: People who don't believe in the supernatural are idiots.

Since I'm sure this thread will cause a large number of people to change their life-long held views on one of the biggest questions of man-kind, this thread will be filled with rational ideas and pleasant exchanges.

 
And-1 2009-01-31 01:33:55 PM  
Well, as an aethiest who is banging the preacher's daughter right now *ungh ungh ungh* I am getting a kick out of these replies.

 
PC LOAD LETTER [TotalFark] 2009-01-31 02:02:07 PM  
Rewording the headline: Atheists are just as much a bunch of pissed-off, sickly, broke-assed mofos as theists and they are just as desperate to get laid as them too.

 
LordZorch [TotalFark] 2009-01-31 02:03:46 PM  
Atheist don't "claim" that "god" doesn't exist any more than they "claim" that "invisible pink unicorn" doesn't exist.

They reject obvious impossibilities and await for believers to actually provide proof of claims...

 
zamboni 2009-01-31 02:09:58 PM  
Yeah, well, if you include altar boys...

 
iremo 2009-01-31 02:10:38 PM  
If I had been a Heathen,
I'd have praised the purple vine,
My slaves should dig the vineyards,
And I would drink the wine.
But Higgins is a Heathen,
And his slaves grow lean and grey,
That he may drink some tepid milk
Exactly twice a day.

If I had been a Heathen,
I'd have crowned Neaera's curls,
And filled my life with love affairs,
My house with dancing girls;
But Higgins is a Heathen,
And to lecture rooms is forced,
Where his aunts, who are not married,
Demand to be divorced.

If I had been a Heathen,
I'd have sent my armies forth,
And dragged behind my chariots
The Chieftains of the North.
But Higgins is a Heathen,
And he drives the dreary quill,
To lend the poor that funny cash
That makes them poorer still.

If I had been a Heathen,
I'd have piled my pyre on high,
And in a great red whirlwind
Gone roaring to the sky;
But Higgins is a Heathen,
And a richer man than I:
And they put him in an oven,
Just as if he were a pie.

Now who that runs can read it,
The riddle that I write,
Of why this poor old sinner,
Should sin without delight-
But I, I cannot read it
(Although I run and run),
Of them that do not have the faith,
And will not have the fun.

-G. K. Chesterton - 1913

 
onomatopoetic 2009-01-31 02:11:19 PM  
Eddie Adams from Torrance: Do you know how hard it is for an atheist to lure an altar boy into the confessional?

My joke is close to yours but I'm going to use it anyway:

From what I can tell we have significantly less gay sex.

 
Linux_Yes [TotalFark] 2009-01-31 02:11:46 PM  
You_mean_Im_gonna_stay_this_color: Ignorance is bliss.

and the good old bible thumping south has the most divorces. how odd.

 
MorningBreath [TotalFark] 2009-01-31 02:11:53 PM  
Atheists are not routinely happier, healthier and wealthier than believers. According to most surveys, they don't even have more sex

Plus they are going to hell when they die, and they smell funny.

 
jasnotron 2009-01-31 02:12:25 PM  
And-1: Well, as an aethiest who is banging the preacher's daughter right now *ungh ungh ungh* I am getting a kick out of these replies.

How are you able to type while doing that ?

 
RealAmericanHero [TotalFark] 2009-01-31 02:12:27 PM  
Cue stomping on the lifestyles of others in the name of defending the lifestyles of others.

 
Tourney3p0 2009-01-31 02:13:11 PM  
Isn't sex out of wedlock a sin? That alone should tell you that either atheists are having more sex, or there are a lot of Christians who wipe their asses with the very bible they supposedly follow.

 
cretinbob [TotalFark] 2009-01-31 02:13:42 PM  
According to most surveys, they don't even have more sex

ftfy, since we obviously must bash heathens in this thread.


Or is it that the Xtians are getting persecuted again?shiat, whatever. I guess I have my bases covered.

 
heypete 2009-01-31 02:13:55 PM  
jasnotron: How are you able to type while doing that ?

Perhaps he was dictating?

/Castle Arggggh!

 
MrLint 2009-01-31 02:14:08 PM  
Mordant: DamnYankees: I wasn't aware this was an argument atheists make in their defense...

we are so badly organized when it comes to these things. Almost like the whole point is NOT to have to be in a little magic club.


But our buses are magic:)

 
zamboni 2009-01-31 02:15:29 PM  
heypete: jasnotron: How are you able to type while doing that ?

Perhaps he was dictating?

/Castle Arggggh!


Well we know that, but how was he able to type while doing it?

 
40oz_A_Knight 2009-01-31 02:15:57 PM  
Alternet sucks.

 
maddogdelta [TotalFark] 2009-01-31 02:16:20 PM  
Tourney3p0: or there are a lot of Christians who wipe their asses with the very bible they supposedly follow.

I'll take B for $400, Alex...

// care for some shrimp?

 
alternative girlfriend [TotalFark] 2009-01-31 02:16:32 PM  
that article was very badly written.

 
Hilary T. N. Seuss 2009-01-31 02:16:41 PM  
We can argue that comforting illusions provide comfort...

I stopped reading TFA right there.

 
Pinchy129 2009-01-31 02:16:57 PM  
"The fact that a believer is happier than a sceptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one. The happiness of credulity is a cheap and dangerous quality"

George Bernard Shaw

 
drjekel_mrhyde 2009-01-31 02:17:08 PM  
Eddie Adams from Torrance: Of course we don't have more sex.

Do you know how hard it is for an atheist to lure an altar boy into the confessional?


Keyboard please

 
theewhiterhino 2009-01-31 02:17:18 PM  
i234.photobucket.com

 
mrapier [TotalFark] 2009-01-31 02:18:08 PM  
40oz_A_Knight: Alternet sucks.

that ^

 
whatshisname 2009-01-31 02:18:51 PM  
It must be true. Some guy wrote those words on Alternet.

 
maddogdelta [TotalFark] 2009-01-31 02:18:52 PM  
TFA
Because a false answer is better than no answer at all. And that's our only choice, no answer or a false one.

Strong is the retard in this one, hmmmmm?

 
vudukungfu 2009-01-31 02:21:25 PM  
DamnYankees: I wasn't aware this was an argument atheists make in their defense...

Yes it 'tis.

 
h3dge 2009-01-31 02:21:25 PM  
"Atheists are not routinely happier, healthier and wealthier than believers. According to most surveys, they don't even have more sex."

Maybe this is the cause and not the effect...

 
neelb420 2009-01-31 02:21:27 PM  
I've so had enough of politics but I'm definitely not going to live here. You realize they have been spying on me since I was like 9? I'm talking cameras in our house, bugs in my apartment, bugs in our cars, a full "Myspace" profile on me. They know crap about me from when I was alone with my fellow atheist brother, who's saving my ass from there false accusations. You wanna live in some totalitarian state be my guest, political non-sense, no different then the illusion of Rome under Augustus. If the NSA or CIA wanted to they could stop these perverse militias, but they don't because they're the ones who run it. What they don't know is everything that happened when we were running from the Masons. That's how it's so incredibly easy to spot that it's them. I think it's ridiculous we have to go state to state, county to county, every 6 months, we should just leave. Canada appears to be different.

 
smeegle [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-01-31 02:22:00 PM  
That article was about the art of rambling.

 
Shadow Blasko 2009-01-31 02:22:16 PM  
Pagans have the best sex, and probably the most passionate.

Followed closely by everyone else.

Atheist are not happier because IGNORANCE IS BLISS

 
cfletch13 2009-01-31 02:23:59 PM  
"Atheists are not routinely happier, healthier and wealthier than believers. According to most surveys, they don't even have lie about having more sex."

Fixed that for them...

 
leonel 2009-01-31 02:24:02 PM  
You_mean_Im_gonna_stay_this_color: Ignorance is bliss.

Yup! Now eat it! >:D

 
Sarcastica75 [TotalFark] 2009-01-31 02:24:40 PM  
...so they may as well become believers?

/where's the Kool-Aid?

 
madmann [TotalFark] 2009-01-31 02:25:13 PM  
Hilary T. N. Seuss: We can argue that comforting illusions provide comfort...

I stopped reading TFA right there.


Well, only if you stopped because you knew it wouldn't get any more AWESOME! That's farkin' fantastic! It's already meme-worthy, in the vein of "OBVIOUS TROLL IS OBVIOUS" and "ILLITERATE SUBMITTER IS ILLITERATE". Hell, here ya go...

www.madmann.com

 
legion_of_doo 2009-01-31 02:25:21 PM  
Tourney3p0: Isn't sex out of wedlock a sin? That alone should tell you that either atheists are having more sex, or there are a lot of Christians who wipe their asses with the very bible they supposedly follow.

I like to say "I'm a Christian, not a Saint."

It's kind of silly to decide that just because a Christian believes in Christ, he or she automatically lives a Saintly life... just like it's foolish to believe that because someone claims to be Atheist, he or she is automatically rational.

/I also make no claim regarding rationality.
/Let he who lives without hypocrisy cast the first stone.

 
cfletch13 2009-01-31 02:25:31 PM  
neelb420: I've so had enough of politics but I'm definitely not going to live here. You realize they have been spying on me since I was like 9? I'm talking cameras in our house, bugs in my apartment, bugs in our cars, a full "Myspace" profile on me. They know crap about me from when I was alone with my fellow atheist brother, who's saving my ass from there false accusations. You wanna live in some totalitarian state be my guest, political non-sense, no different then the illusion of Rome under Augustus. If the NSA or CIA wanted to they could stop these perverse militias, but they don't because they're the ones who run it. What they don't know is everything that happened when we were running from the Masons. That's how it's so incredibly easy to spot that it's them. I think it's ridiculous we have to go state to state, county to county, every 6 months, we should just leave. Canada appears to be different.

Can I buy some pot from you?

 
Silovik 2009-01-31 02:25:57 PM  
h3dge: "Atheists are not routinely happier, healthier and wealthier than believers. According to most surveys, they don't even have more sex."

Maybe this is the cause and not the effect...


That's a good point. I would like to say that people who don't buy that god is all powerful, don't put their boss or girlfriend in His place. Thus, lacking wealth from spiteful bosses and sex-embargoes from bitter girlfriends leading to a lack of happiness, but a surplus of dignity.

 
Russad 2009-01-31 02:26:06 PM  
"Atheists are not routinely happier, healthier and wealthier than believers. According to most surveys, they don't even have more sex."

What the hell? Why didn't anyone send me the memo on this?

Which deity gets me the most tail?

 
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