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(Daily Express) Stupid In these testing economic times, if you're serious about getting a job, you'll need to pump your face full of botox   (express.co.uk) divider line 51
More: Stupid  
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8871 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Jan 2009 at 10:44 PM   |  Make this a Fark FavoriteFavorite    |   share: Share on OMGTWITTER WEB2.0share on StumbleUponshare on Facebook  more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!

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rssvss [TotalFark] 2009-01-25 09:10:14 PM  
wut will fat people do??
145post

 
Tr0mBoNe [TotalFark] 2009-01-25 09:55:43 PM  
It could also be that all the gold diggers are getting ready to move on to their next mark.

 
Ringshadow 2009-01-25 10:51:17 PM  
Yeaaah, no. I'm not going to pump myself full of botulism to try to get a job. Sorry.

 
Shortigo 2009-01-25 10:52:00 PM  
FTA:

Sales of Botox have almost trebled

What's trebled? WHAT'S TREBLED PRECIOUS?

 
Ashtrey 2009-01-25 10:53:03 PM  
What if you're just, youngish? I know, hasn't seemed to help so far.

 
Tellurianix 2009-01-25 10:54:21 PM  
It doesn't mean that three times as many people are having botox done, it just means that the same people are three times as neurotic. I believe it's fashionable to blame the credit crunch.

 
CygnusDarius [TotalFark] 2009-01-25 10:56:37 PM  
Ashtrey: What if you're just, youngish?.

They're hunting us, trying to bathe in our blood, and hoping that will bring them eternal youth.

 
Lissa is my name 2009-01-25 10:57:01 PM  
So that's what I've been doing wrong....

 
CTaylor80 [TotalFark] 2009-01-25 10:58:09 PM  
What effing sense does that make? If you're serious about earning money, you'll spend money you're not making, to shoot yourself full of botulism.

Brilliant.

 
Je5tEr 2009-01-25 10:58:35 PM  
Shortigo: FTA:

Sales of Botox have almost trebled

What's trebled? WHAT'S TREBLED PRECIOUS?


Yea seriously, TREBLED??? Who talks like that?

/the day, start rue-ing it

 
Dull Cow Eyes 2009-01-25 11:00:30 PM  
if you're serious about getting a job, you'll need to pump your face full of botox penis


/fixed

 
Ashtrey 2009-01-25 11:01:44 PM  
CygnusDarius: Ashtrey: What if you're just, youngish?.

They're hunting us, trying to bathe in our blood, and hoping that will bring them eternal youth.


So, do we band together to combat these wizened oppressors? Or do we trip each other knowing that each of us that falls sates their hunger and improves our own chances?

 
signaljammer 2009-01-25 11:03:43 PM  
Ya' know what I think it the etiology of our current economic slump? That guitar-strummin' kid who sang: "The Superbowl is gay."

He was right of course, and given this fact, what is the point in earning wealth?

 
Je5tEr 2009-01-25 11:04:05 PM  
CygnusDarius: Ashtrey: What if you're just, youngish?.

They're hunting us, trying to bathe in our blood, and hoping that will bring them eternal youth.


Elizabeth Bathory (new window) would like a word.

 
Mnemia 2009-01-25 11:04:58 PM  
If I were hiring, the "Botox face" look would make me LESS likely to hire someone, not more, because it would tell me unequivocally that the person is someone obsessed with appearances. Of course, I guess that could be a plus if you're in a field obsessed with superficial appearances and lying, like marketing.

 
cksewell [TotalFark] 2009-01-25 11:05:20 PM  
Oh....it's pump my face full of botox! Damn, my boss has some 'splainin' to do

 
thereadlines [TotalFark] 2009-01-25 11:05:20 PM  
Je5tEr: Shortigo: FTA:

Sales of Botox have almost trebled

What's trebled? WHAT'S TREBLED PRECIOUS?

Yea seriously, TREBLED??? Who talks like that?

/the day, start rue-ing it


The Brits, who are apparently dominating the main page. Is this the start of a worrisome trend?
www.cia.gov
/hotlinked from the cia. Doesn't get more hardcore than that.

 
Alien Robot 2009-01-25 11:05:26 PM  
images.huffingtonpost.com

Exhibit #1

/link is hot

 
Wentzbag 2009-01-25 11:08:43 PM  
Je5tEr: CygnusDarius: Ashtrey: What if you're just, youngish?.

They're hunting us, trying to bathe in our blood, and hoping that will bring them eternal youth.

Elizabeth Bathory (new window) would like a word.


I'll bet she was phenomenal in bed.

 
Glass Joe 2009-01-25 11:09:04 PM  
www.futurederm.com

 
boobsrgood [TotalFark] 2009-01-25 11:10:17 PM  
Oh, you free thinkers.

i242.photobucket.com

 
boobsrgood [TotalFark] 2009-01-25 11:11:54 PM  
After a full botox workup, I like to go out for fine dining.

i242.photobucket.com

Mmmm...quality!

 
ghare 2009-01-25 11:21:14 PM  
boobsrgood: After a full botox workup, I like to go out for fine dining.



Mmmm...quality!


Man that looks good! Too bad this town doesn't have an all-night spam sushi delivery service.

 
Ashtrey 2009-01-25 11:21:47 PM  
boobsrgood: After a full botox workup, I like to go out for fine dining.



Mmmm...quality!


Everyone loves the pork by-product roll.

 
CygnusDarius [TotalFark] 2009-01-25 11:28:01 PM  
Wentzbag: Je5tEr: CygnusDarius: Ashtrey: What if you're just, youngish?.

They're hunting us, trying to bathe in our blood, and hoping that will bring them eternal youth.

Elizabeth Bathory (new window) would like a word.

I'll bet she was phenomenal in bed.


If you weren't young and good-looking.

/And yes, I had her in mind :p

 
cloud_van_dame [TotalFark] 2009-01-25 11:37:17 PM  
The premise being that having no facial expressions will help you lie during your job interview? No? You need to look younger, dammit?

Bah, humbug.

 
YouPeopleAreCrazy 2009-01-25 11:42:48 PM  
Well...when employers are legally allowed to discriminate by age (Recent graduates only!), what do you expect?

 
Nuno311 2009-01-25 11:45:51 PM  
Dull Cow Eyes: if you're serious about getting a job, you'll need to pump your face full of botox penis


/fixed


Congrats!!! That's the first "FTFY" post I've EVER laughed at.

What do you win? A face full of penis (if you're a lovely lady that has a face....of course).

 
Je5tEr 2009-01-25 11:48:02 PM  
YouPeopleAreCrazy: Well...when employers are legally allowed to discriminate by age (Recent graduates only!), what do you expect?

You do know you can graduate at any age, right? Recent graduates only usually means we aren't going to pay anything more than entry level so dont even bother if you have experience.

 
Royale With Cheese 2009-01-25 11:55:24 PM  
www.suprmchaos.com

 
olderbudnoweiser 2009-01-26 12:02:45 AM  
www.fotosearch.com

"This one goes to 11."

 
YouPeopleAreCrazy 2009-01-26 12:05:00 AM  
Je5tEr: You do know you can graduate at any age, right?

This is true.
However, the vast majority of 'recent graduates' are under 25.

If you're advertising an 'entry level job', say that.

 
MrBentor 2009-01-26 12:06:06 AM  
Ok - So tell me why if I am bald, ugly in a mangy dog kind of way, and getting old; was I able to find a job only three months after being fired and didn't even work very hard to find a new one? Recruiters came to me. (Yeah, I was shocked at that too.)

Candidate "A" spent their last $500.00 on skin treatment, didn't learn much and it won't last. Candidate "B" spent their last $500.00 on catchup Mainframe and SQL lessons.

/I do however have excellent (American dental plan) teeth.
//Botox and fashion may get you in the door, but caffeine addled brains still run the ship.
///Job has Mainframes and SQL.

 
tvjunkie1172 2009-01-26 12:09:59 AM  
The job market is turning into a bad episode of Gossip Girl. Hopefully Barrack Obama will turn it around.

 
Stay Cool Babylon 2009-01-26 12:10:04 AM  
Ashtrey: What if you're just, youngish? I know, hasn't seemed to help so far.

I'm 34 and my skin looks awesome, despite smoking and drinking. However, my goddamned HAIR is starting to fall out. !@#$!eleventy
I never used to envy anyone before, but now when I see a total Wentz with nary a sign of a bald spot, I get seriously irritated. I mean, I'm a decent guy despite the fact that I'm a Farker. What did I do to deserve this, I mean, aside from being a Farker?

Stupid genetics.

/MPB FTL

 
Ashtrey 2009-01-26 12:15:29 AM  
Stay Cool Babylon: Ashtrey: What if you're just, youngish? I know, hasn't seemed to help so far.

I'm 34 and my skin looks awesome, despite smoking and drinking. However, my goddamned HAIR is starting to fall out. !@#$!eleventy
I never used to envy anyone before, but now when I see a total Wentz with nary a sign of a bald spot, I get seriously irritated. I mean, I'm a decent guy despite the fact that I'm a Farker. What did I do to deserve this, I mean, aside from being a Farker?

Stupid genetics.

/MPB FTL


I'm afraid of that. I just turned 27, no bald spot. But my hair has been going gray since I was about 17. I tried to make a deal with God back then. "I don't care what color you make it, just let me keep it."

 
Je5tEr 2009-01-26 12:17:59 AM  
YouPeopleAreCrazy: Je5tEr: You do know you can graduate at any age, right?

This is true.
However, the vast majority of 'recent graduates' are under 25.

If you're advertising an 'entry level job', say that.


People who should be taking entry level jobs (recent grads) usually skip anything that says entry level. Saying you want recent grads at least hopefully gets you a modicum of semi-skilled applicants.

 
thereadlines [TotalFark] 2009-01-26 12:20:43 AM  
Stay Cool Babylon: Ashtrey: What if you're just, youngish? I know, hasn't seemed to help so far.

I'm 34 and my skin looks awesome, despite smoking and drinking. However, my goddamned HAIR is starting to fall out. !@#$!eleventy
I never used to envy anyone before, but now when I see a total Wentz with nary a sign of a bald spot, I get seriously irritated. I mean, I'm a decent guy despite the fact that I'm a Farker. What did I do to deserve this, I mean, aside from being a Farker?


You didn't notice hair loss until 34? That's not so bad -- many of my friends began losing hair in their late '20s. Count your blessings, and take advantage of the countermeasures that are currently on the market.

 
Stay Cool Babylon 2009-01-26 12:23:56 AM  
Ashtrey: Stay Cool Babylon: Ashtrey: What if you're just, youngish? I know, hasn't seemed to help so far.

I'm 34 and my skin looks awesome, despite smoking and drinking. However, my goddamned HAIR is starting to fall out. !@#$!eleventy
I never used to envy anyone before, but now when I see a total Wentz with nary a sign of a bald spot, I get seriously irritated. I mean, I'm a decent guy despite the fact that I'm a Farker. What did I do to deserve this, I mean, aside from being a Farker?

Stupid genetics.

/MPB FTL

I'm afraid of that. I just turned 27, no bald spot. But my hair has been going gray since I was about 17. I tried to make a deal with God back then. "I don't care what color you make it, just let me keep it."


The problem is that hair loss just looks a lot worse than properly aged skin. What good does my 20 y/o-looking skin do when I'm sporting a big bald spot? It's on the crown, so you can't see it unless I bend down. So what am I gonna do, maintain direct eye contact with everyone for the rest of my life? the minute I stare at breasts, my blad patch will unleash its sex appeal to the world!

/would trade the decade-less-than-I-am skin for more hair.
//still beats being a woman and dealing with all of those, erm, issues, though.
///ducks and runs out of thread

 
eelcat 2009-01-26 12:39:44 AM  
So she must be doing extremely well then.
i177.photobucket.com

 
kmt11 2009-01-26 01:00:18 AM  
Stay Cool Babylon:

The problem is that hair loss just looks a lot worse than properly aged skin. What good does my 20 y/o-looking skin do when I'm sporting a big bald spot? It's on the crown, so you can't see it unless I bend down. So what am I gonna do, maintain direct eye contact with everyone for the rest of my life? the minute I stare at breasts, my blad patch will unleash its sex appeal to the world!

/would trade the decade-less-than-I-am skin for more hair.
//still beats being a woman and dealing with all of those, erm, issues, though.
///ducks and runs out of thread


Try Propecia. I started balding on the crown in my early 20's and my doctor prescribed Propecia for me. Now, 8 years later, what was once a noticeable bald spot can hardly be seen. Apparently Propecia is only really effective on the crown, not the forehead.

 
MadSkillz 2009-01-26 01:03:20 AM  
eelcat: So she must be doing extremely well then.

It's hard to believe that Joyce or whatever her name was once looked human.

 
kinshane [TotalFark] 2009-01-26 01:04:20 AM  
I am in the Army and have to get an MA in the next 2-3 years for my job, and all the college recruiters said I will be competing with more folks now since people go to school when they can't get jobs. I thought that was weird.

 
Xeno's_Paradox 2009-01-26 01:16:59 AM  
MadSkillz: eelcat: So she must be doing extremely well then.

It's hard to believe that Joyce or whatever her name was once looked human.


Yup. I even tried squinting and, even after two glasses of red, could not come up with anything remotely human let alone hittable.

 
palad 2009-01-26 03:34:24 AM  
First it was "tough" economic times. Now you're thumbing through the thesaurus, because that's getting old. So it's "testing" economic times, now, is it?

I predict "****** economic times" makes the banned phrase list for the year. Who's with me?

 
jugdish76 2009-01-26 05:57:06 AM  
I wish they didn't get mad when I plug my blog on here.

 
bobvila136 2009-01-26 08:35:21 AM  
Shortigo: What's trebled? WHAT'S TREBLED PRECIOUS?

I LOL'd, both at the Smeagle reference and the sad state of decay of education.

Thou shall count to treble, no more, no less. Treble shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be treble. Quadruple shalt thou not count, neither count thou double, excepting that thou then proceed to treble. Quintuple is right out.

//Over nonuple milliesimal!!!

 
ErinPac 2009-01-26 09:00:49 AM  
Je5tEr: People who should be taking entry level jobs (recent grads) usually skip anything that says entry level. Saying you want recent grads at least hopefully gets you a modicum of semi-skilled applicants.

Most of the "entry level" jobs I see advertised then also ask for 10+ years industry experience. I'm not sure that phrase has any meaning left.

 
atomic-age [TotalFark] 2009-01-26 12:57:46 PM  
ErinPac: Je5tEr: People who should be taking entry level jobs (recent grads) usually skip anything that says entry level. Saying you want recent grads at least hopefully gets you a modicum of semi-skilled applicants.

Most of the "entry level" jobs I see advertised then also ask for 10+ years industry experience. I'm not sure that phrase has any meaning left.


Ah, yes. The old "we want only the best, and we're prepared to pay only the worst" ads. That's all that's available where I live. Hell, most of the ad won't even tell you the name of the company or what they do. Creepy.

 
Alien Robot 2009-01-26 01:43:03 PM  
atomic-age: ErinPac: Je5tEr: People who should be taking entry level jobs (recent grads) usually skip anything that says entry level. Saying you want recent grads at least hopefully gets you a modicum of semi-skilled applicants.

Most of the "entry level" jobs I see advertised then also ask for 10+ years industry experience. I'm not sure that phrase has any meaning left.

Ah, yes. The old "we want only the best, and we're prepared to pay only the worst" ads. That's all that's available where I live. Hell, most of the ad won't even tell you the name of the company or what they do. Creepy.


I think the way the system works is that you write the job description so that no one can qualify for it which then opens up the ability to hire a H1B from India for half what you would have paid had you written a legitimate description.

 
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