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(Live Science) Cool U of M geeks manage to teleport with 90% accuracy. Not acceptable, guys, but good work, anyway   (livescience.com) divider line 144
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7of7 [TotalFark] 2009-01-25 02:28:49 PM  
University of Maryland is not U of M.

 
dj4aces [TotalFark] 2009-01-25 02:35:15 PM  
7of7: University of Maryland is not U of M.

FTA: Now the JQI team, along with colleagues at the University of Michigan, has succeeded in teleporting a quantum state directly from one atom to another over a meter.

Oops?

 
Weaver95 [TotalFark] 2009-01-25 02:35:26 PM  
In the Jan. 23 issue of the journal Science, the scientists report that, by using their protocol, atom-to-atom teleported information can be recovered with perfect accuracy about 90 percent of the time

Hmmm....so now I need to do is clone the brain of a psychic resonator, put that clone brain into the body of a giant squid and put a lot of creepy data into that cloned brain.

Yes! My master plan is coming along nicely!

 
Eddie Adams from Torrance [TotalFark] 2009-01-25 02:36:32 PM  
i236.photobucket.com

Approves.

 
7of7 [TotalFark] 2009-01-25 02:36:50 PM  
dj4aces: Oops?

Yeah, I only read as far as

FTA: said Christopher Monroe of the Joint Quantum Institute at the University of Maryland, who led the effort.

before I took great umbrage.

 
LandStander [TotalFark] 2009-01-25 02:43:33 PM  
"How are we progressing Mr. La Forge?"
"About like you'd expect, sir."
"Splendid. Splendid. Carry on."

 
2wolves 2009-01-25 02:46:51 PM  
"Help me!"

 
Howie Spankowitz [TotalFark] 2009-01-25 03:11:01 PM  
Brundlefly disapproves.

 
Ashtrey 2009-01-25 03:11:25 PM  
U of M geeks manage to teleport with 90% accuracy. Not acceptable, guys, but good work, anyway

So someone got splinched? Lost an eyebrow?

Different name, same thing.

 
Sarah Jessica Farker [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-01-25 03:11:47 PM  
LandStander: "How are we progressing Mr. La Forge?"
"About like you'd expect, sir."
"Splendid. Splendid. Carry on."


"He wants the impossible!"
"That's the short definition of 'Captain'."

 
Ponzholio 2009-01-25 03:12:33 PM  
Did Brundle absorb fly?

 
ekdikeo4 2009-01-25 03:12:50 PM  
telematic.walkerart.org

if anyone can find a bigger version of that image, feel free to post it.

 
BetaFlame 2009-01-25 03:13:12 PM  
I still have nightmares about that cat

 
brigid_fitch [TotalFark] 2009-01-25 03:14:39 PM  
2wolves: "Help me!"

Damn, you beat me to it.

/LOVE that movie
//Vincent Price FTW

 
Lenny_da_Hog 2009-01-25 03:17:06 PM  
I don't understand this article, therefore I'm calling my congressman to urge him to make this practice a felony.

BURN THEM!!! BURN THEM!!!!

 
Kilted_Dude [TotalFark] 2009-01-25 03:20:25 PM  
Uh...

I just read that whole thing. The phrast "uknowable state" is stuck in my head.

So we might be moving stuff from one place to another. But we're not entirely sure we can prove it.

And we need $3948394 billion worth of lasers and lenses to prove it. Between atoms. Parts of atoms at that.

Um.

Someone teleport me a Sub sandwich, and we'll talk.

 
Sagard 2009-01-25 03:20:57 PM  
Hail to the victors valiant!
Hail to the conquering heroes!
Hail, hail, to Michigan,
The leaders and the best!

GO BLUE

 
ekdikeo4 2009-01-25 03:21:20 PM  
Kilted_Dude: So we might be moving stuff from one place to another. But we're not entirely sure we can prove it.

apparently we can 90% of the time.

 
Frank Anthrax 2009-01-25 03:22:04 PM  
Go one meter across the room, Blue!

 
LordJiro 2009-01-25 03:22:26 PM  
imgs.xkcd.com

/didn't bother reading the article to see if this is relevant

 
ThrobblefootSpectre 2009-01-25 03:22:36 PM  
...with perfect accuracy about 90 percent of the time


Cool topic, but that statement made me laugh out loud.

 
Dinty Moore's Law 2009-01-25 03:22:37 PM  
2wolves: "Help me!"

Came here for this.

/Well done

 
Jubeebee 2009-01-25 03:23:27 PM  
I understood all of the individual words in that article, but taken collectively they confuse and frighten me.

 
Mugato [TotalFark] 2009-01-25 03:24:52 PM  
Author might be exaggerating little when he's comparing this to Star Trek.

/takes the shuttlecraft

 
stryker4526 2009-01-25 03:26:04 PM  
Kilted_Dude: Uh...

I just read that whole thing. The phrast "uknowable state" is stuck in my head.

So we might be moving stuff from one place to another. But we're not entirely sure we can prove it.

And we need $3948394 billion worth of lasers and lenses to prove it. Between atoms. Parts of atoms at that.

Um.

Someone teleport me a Sub sandwich, and we'll talk.


I'll teleport you a facepalm, how about that?

 
ThrobblefootSpectre 2009-01-25 03:28:04 PM  
Jubeebee: I understood all of the individual words in that article, but taken collectively they confuse and frighten me.

You are in very good company. No one really understands what's going on there. We can observe quantum phenomena, model them, sometimes reproduce them. But not a single person on the planet understands them.

 
jruland 2009-01-25 03:28:34 PM  
FTA...between two separate atoms across a distance of a meter - about a yard.

it seems like the reader demographic that does not already know that a meter is somewhat close to a yard would not be reading this article in the first place.

 
monkeyman3875 [TotalFark] 2009-01-25 03:29:36 PM  
Who REALLY needs both their feet anyway?

/90% of the time it works ALL the time.

 
check.engine.light 2009-01-25 03:29:50 PM  
BetaFlame: I still have nightmares about that cat

thats what i though of when i read the title

 
SeamusFerrell 2009-01-25 03:31:36 PM  
I'm so confused. (new window)

 
D4rkH3lm3t 2009-01-25 03:31:46 PM  
90%? I wonder what percentage the "uglies" are... if we can tune that 10% just right...

 
T-Servo 2009-01-25 03:34:05 PM  
Cast Spell> Malor
.
.
.
You have teleported into solid rock!

 
Dupa [TotalFark] 2009-01-25 03:34:13 PM  
Oh yea? Well, I can pop a wheelie on my bicycle.

 
spartywrx 2009-01-25 03:37:13 PM  
First human test subject: Rich Rod. 100% teleportation accuracy not necessary.


/sitting in a UM library right now.

 
mrwombat 2009-01-25 03:38:23 PM  
FTFA: information has been teleported between two separate atoms across a distance of a meter - about a yard.

Christ, he's only a meter away. Just tell him to mow the lawn.

 
AverageJoe77 [TotalFark] 2009-01-25 03:39:06 PM  
D4rkH3lm3t: 90%? I wonder what percentage the "uglies" are... if we can tune that 10% just right...

This is the perfect solution for this nation's obesity epidemic!

 
MisterBixby 2009-01-25 03:40:14 PM  
Weaver95: Hmmm....so now I need to do is clone the brain of a psychic resonator, put that clone brain into the body of a giant squid and put a lot of creepy data into that cloned brain.

Yes! My master plan is coming along nicely!


"Brain and brain! What is brain?"

- Kara"

 
therhinodep 2009-01-25 03:40:38 PM  
content9.flixster.com

Not impressed.

 
Ironclad2 2009-01-25 03:41:00 PM  
7of7: dj4aces: Oops?

Yeah, I only read as far as

FTA: said Christopher Monroe of the Joint Quantum Institute at the University of Maryland, who led the effort.

before I took great umbrage.


In fact, Prof. Monroe used to work at the University of Michigan before moving his lab to Maryland a year or two ago.

 
scwewywabbit 2009-01-25 03:44:04 PM  
brigid_fitch: 2wolves: "Help me!"

Damn, you beat me to it.

/LOVE that movie
//Vincent Price FTW



Damn I think I saw that movie when I was 5 or 6... still gives me chills when I hear these references!

 
Shadowknight [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-01-25 03:44:48 PM  
7of7: dj4aces: Oops?

Yeah, I only read as far as

FTA: said Christopher Monroe of the Joint Quantum Institute at the University of Maryland, who led the effort.

before I took great umbrage.


Don't feel bad. So did I. I was about to throw a fit as well, until I read dj4aces post. Then, I was just glad you screwed up instead of me.

 
NathanielTaggart 2009-01-25 03:46:15 PM  
drop the bullshiat and make my flying car already.

 
Arkanaut 2009-01-25 03:46:20 PM  
There's not enough power!

 
thatmanfromtexas 2009-01-25 03:47:04 PM  
BetaFlame: I still have nightmares about that cat

img111.imageshack.us

 
TheGreatZarquon 2009-01-25 03:48:59 PM  
Wendell Urth seen nodding approvingly.


/obscure? probably not

 
thatmanfromtexas 2009-01-25 03:49:33 PM  
NathanielTaggart: drop the bullshiat and make my flying car already.

img111.imageshack.us

 
ironic_followup 2009-01-25 03:51:14 PM  
ThrobblefootSpectre: ...with perfect accuracy about 90 percent of the time


Cool topic, but that statement made me laugh out loud.


that's actually the way you wanna phrase that, according to statistical convention.
It means that, if you do the experiment 100 times over, you'll have perfect accuracy in 90 of 'em.
It does not mean that if you do the experiment you have a 90% chance of succeeding.
it sort of differentiated trying to predict the future from making a factual statement, it sort of tries to separate the practical from the metaphysical, it's sort of weird.

 
stiletto_the_wise 2009-01-25 03:52:55 PM  
jruland: FTA...between two separate atoms across a distance of a meter - about a yard.

it seems like the reader demographic that does not already know that a meter is somewhat close to a yard would not be reading this article in the first place.


I came here to post something like this. Who the fark is so ignorant they don't know how long a meter is? Jesus. I half expected them to tell me how many football-fields it is.

 
ironic_followup 2009-01-25 03:53:05 PM  
and my english is broken.

 
stryker4526 2009-01-25 03:53:06 PM  
ironic_followup: it sort of tries to separate the practical from the metaphysical, it's sort of weird.

Uh... what?

 
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