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(CBC) Scary Canadian Food Inspection agency warns cheese slices may contain plastic, confirms what we already know   (cbc.ca) divider line 61
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cranberryzero [TotalFark] 2009-01-24 10:50:14 PM  
Canadian Food Ispection agency warns cheese slices may contain plastic, confirms what we already know

that there's an "N" in "inspection"?

 
PacManDreaming [TotalFark] 2009-01-24 11:17:56 PM  
cranberryzero: that there's an "N" in "inspection"?

Hey, stop making fun of the f*cking retarded Submitter. You might make the poor, little butt-licking knob gobbler cry.

This is one thing I never understood; why get cheese on your hamburger or sandwich if they're using processed cheese? You can't taste it and it's definitely not worth the 50 cents or more that you spend to get it.

 
Dupa [TotalFark] 2009-01-24 11:29:34 PM  
PacManDreaming: cranberryzero: that there's an "N" in "inspection"?

Hey, stop making fun of the f*cking retarded Submitter. You might make the poor, little butt-licking knob gobbler cry.

This is one thing I never understood; why get cheese on your hamburger or sandwich if they're using processed cheese? You can't taste it and it's definitely not worth the 50 cents or more that you spend to get it.


Decent and kind of you to stand up for subby. I came to bash the idiot, but you've appealed to my better being.

 
hamiltonjdavid [TotalFark] 2009-01-25 12:18:09 AM  
Meh, if you're stupid enough to buy fat free cheese, you deserve to die.

Cheese has fat in it.

If you don't like that, don't eat it.

 
brewssuds 2009-01-25 12:38:48 AM  
hamiltonjdavid: Meh, if you're stupid enough to buy fat free cheese, you deserve to die.

Cheese has fat in it.

If you don't like that, don't eat it.


And wieners contain meat. That soy-based thing you've slammed into a hot-dog bun? Go fark yourself.

 
Dubai Vol 2009-01-25 12:39:35 AM  
Does Canada get real cheese, as opposed to the US where it's so hard to come by? Every supermarket in Dubai has over 100 differet cheeses in the deli, no exaggeration. I just counted 6 kinds in my fridge.

Hint: when a cheese has some actual flavor, you don't need to use much.

 
StreetlightInTheGhetto 2009-01-25 12:42:04 AM  
Mmm... 64 slices of American Cheese...

64...
63...
62..

... Eh, I usually just cook for two. So I buy hard cheeses in big blocks, from a local dairy unless the good New York stuff isn't on sale. If I forget about it in the fridge for a week I can just cut off bad parts and look, yummy cheese again. I ran far away from the preprocessed/"fat free" crap awhile ago and just eat smaller amounts of the good stuff. So worth it.

 
Stickdeath 2009-01-25 12:45:10 AM  
cranberryzero: Canadian Food Ispection agency warns cheese slices may contain plastic, confirms what we already know

that there's an "N" in "inspection"?


N/C post.

/kicked from somethingawful.com

 
The_Fuzz 2009-01-25 12:45:17 AM  
Dupa: PacManDreaming: cranberryzero: that there's an "N" in "inspection"?

Hey, stop making fun of the f*cking retarded Submitter. You might make the poor, little butt-licking knob gobbler cry.

This is one thing I never understood; why get cheese on your hamburger or sandwich if they're using processed cheese? You can't taste it and it's definitely not worth the 50 cents or more that you spend to get it.

Decent and kind of you to stand up for subby. I came to bash the idiot, but you've appealed to my better being.


Jeez, you guys are viscous! You should have seen how I spelled it the first time. One spelling error is pretty good for me considering how many beers I've consumed.

/subby
/meanies!

 
BoozePenguin 2009-01-25 12:46:49 AM  
Hell yeah we get real cheese.

 
CygnusDarius [TotalFark] 2009-01-25 12:47:15 AM  
Stilter?.

 
Dwight_Yeast 2009-01-25 12:52:53 AM  
CHEESE THREAD!

 
shaucker 2009-01-25 12:54:05 AM  
The_Fuzz:
Jeez, you guys are viscous! You should have seen how I spelled it the first time. One spelling error is pretty good for me considering how many beers I've consumed.

/subby
/meanies!

/two spelling errors

 
What are these goddamn animals 2009-01-25 12:54:59 AM  
Cheese Finger In the Anus?

 
beoswulf 2009-01-25 12:56:31 AM  
Dubai Vol: Does Canada get real cheese, as opposed to the US where it's so hard to come by? Every supermarket in Dubai has over 100 differet cheeses in the deli, no exaggeration. I just counted 6 kinds in my fridge.

Hint: when a cheese has some actual flavor, you don't need to use much.


That's a lot of cheese, where do you keep the imported slave laborers?

 
tzzhc4 2009-01-25 12:58:05 AM  
Been telling my wife that Velveeta is made of plastic for years! This just confirms it

 
HappyDeth 2009-01-25 01:11:41 AM  
shaucker: The_Fuzz:
Jeez, you guys are viscous! You should have seen how I spelled it the first time. One spelling error is pretty good for me considering how many beers I've consumed.

/subby
/meanies!

/two spelling errors


I bet you are viscous. Do you look that liquidy?

 
Hide your chickens 2009-01-25 01:14:02 AM  
I'm picturing the Canadian cheese inspectors opening dozens of cases of cheese and slowly licking random slices, until finally declaring, "This one tastes a little like plastic!"

I've been to Canada. I think that's how it works there.

 
HappyDeth 2009-01-25 01:15:19 AM  
Cheese shops have cheese in them? I'm confused.

 
phaseolus 2009-01-25 01:15:48 AM  
I used to work for a place that made Mozzarella machinery. One of the interesting facts I learned while working there - besides that the mafia used to control most of the Mozz production in the U.S. - is that they use the white teflon to coat the insides of the production machines instead of the better grey stuff, so no one notices when the coating flakes off into the cheese...

 
The_Fuzz 2009-01-25 01:20:33 AM  
HappyDeth: shaucker: The_Fuzz:
Jeez, you guys are viscous! You should have seen how I spelled it the first time. One spelling error is pretty good for me considering how many beers I've consumed.

/subby
/meanies!

/two spelling errors

I bet you are viscous. Do you look that liquidy?


That's it. I'm gonna have another beer and forget about this.

 
geedavey 2009-01-25 01:21:09 AM  
Of course we have plastic. This is a plastic shop, sir.

 
HappyDeth 2009-01-25 01:21:57 AM  
The_Fuzz: HappyDeth: shaucker: The_Fuzz:
Jeez, you guys are viscous! You should have seen how I spelled it the first time. One spelling error is pretty good for me considering how many beers I've consumed.

/subby
/meanies!

/two spelling errors

I bet you are viscous. Do you look that liquidy?

That's it. I'm gonna have another beer and forget about this.


I never would have seen that one were I sober.

 
Demon of the Fall 2009-01-25 01:25:39 AM  
Dubai Vol: Does Canada get real cheese, as opposed to the US where it's so hard to come by? Every supermarket in Dubai has over 100 differet cheeses in the deli, no exaggeration. I just counted 6 kinds in my fridge.

Hint: when a cheese has some actual flavor, you don't need to use much.


No. It is a tragedy.

 
CygnusDarius [TotalFark] 2009-01-25 01:26:20 AM  
HappyDeth: Cheese shops have cheese in them? I'm confused.

You have Red Leichester, then?.

 
lordphulish 2009-01-25 01:30:10 AM  
Came for 64 slices of american cheese, mmm.....

 
Patterson 2009-01-25 01:38:28 AM  
CygnusDarius: HappyDeth: Cheese shops have cheese in them? I'm confused.

You have Red Leichester, then?.


I like it runny.

 
CygnusDarius [TotalFark] 2009-01-25 01:40:58 AM  
Patterson: CygnusDarius: HappyDeth: Cheese shops have cheese in them? I'm confused.

You have Red Leichester, then?.

I like it runny.


It's a bit runnier than you'd like.

 
HappyDeth 2009-01-25 01:50:57 AM  
CygnusDarius: Patterson: CygnusDarius: HappyDeth: Cheese shops have cheese in them? I'm confused.

You have Red Leichester, then?.

I like it runny.

It's a bit runnier than you'd like.


Oh, never mind, how are you on Tilsit?

 
anfrind 2009-01-25 01:50:58 AM  
PoopStain: Absent a milk allergy, cheese made with oil isn't cheese. It's a petroleum product.

Petroleum? Citation needed.

My guess would have been some cheap vegetable oil (probably soybean) that's been hydrogenated and mixed with some weird stuff (possibly including a very small amount of real cheese) to make it look, feel, and taste vaguely like cheese.

/hates Kraft "cheese"

 
CygnusDarius [TotalFark] 2009-01-25 01:58:13 AM  
HappyDeth: CygnusDarius: Patterson: CygnusDarius: HappyDeth: Cheese shops have cheese in them? I'm confused.

You have Red Leichester, then?.

I like it runny.

It's a bit runnier than you'd like.

Oh, never mind, how are you on Tilsit?


Never at the end of the week sir. I always get fresh on Monday.

 
wiredmaverick 2009-01-25 02:04:20 AM  
better than listeria I suppose...

 
BumpInTheNight 2009-01-25 02:08:58 AM  
Hide your chickens: I'm picturing the Canadian cheese inspectors opening dozens of cases of cheese and slowly licking random slices, until finally declaring, "This one tastes a little like plastic!"

I've been to Canada. I think that's how it works there.


Our strip club bylaw enforcement teams work in much the same manner as well...

 
anfrind 2009-01-25 02:12:07 AM  
PoopStain: anfrind: Petroleum? Citation needed.

OK, sorry, biodiesel product.


I guess that makes more sense.

It's still not cheese. It feels like rubber, tastes like crap, and it doesn't even melt right on a hamburger.

If you can't eat the dairy or handle the fat, then don't eat cheese.


I'd agree with you there. Just a few days ago I was reading a low-fat macaroni and cheese recipe, and it just looked stupid. It called for low-fat cheese (which I guess may or may not be the oil-and-water-based imitation cheese you're talking about), which I know from experience doesn't melt at all and has no flavor. I feel sorry for anyone who made that recipe and had to endure the results.

If, on the other hand, they had asked me to make a low-fat macaroni and cheese recipe, I would have reduced the total amount of cheese needed by using a full-fat but ridiculously sharp cheese, such as an Irish cheddar. It might not have been low-fat enough for their liking, but at least it still might actually taste good (although I know it still wouldn't be as good as the real stuff).

/this thread is making me hungry

 
kruppz 2009-01-25 02:13:09 AM  
Black Diamond glorifies the canadian cow.

 
BumpInTheNight 2009-01-25 02:15:36 AM  
And now for something completely different, cutting the cheese in front of an infrared camera.

 
soj4life 2009-01-25 02:34:07 AM  
well duh, that crap is poured into their plastic wrappers. those slices aren't individually wrapped, just sealed; yes there is a difference.

 
vid 2009-01-25 03:56:01 AM  
This shiat will stop when Obama takes office.

 
unyon [TotalFark] 2009-01-25 04:11:04 AM  
Dubai Vol: Does Canada get real cheese, as opposed to the US where it's so hard to come by?

Hell yeah we do. I have 5 or 6 cheeses in the fridge right now, including a really young mozzerella, a grizzly gouda, and this biatchin' port-soaked stilton. I just had a chunk with a handful of grapes earlier, and it gave me happy tummy.

 
The Ice Cream Man 2009-01-25 05:11:19 AM  
When I saw the headline, I thought to myself, "Betcha this is the same crap they put on the mega chain pizzas in the U.S." Click on article, Mozzarella is the first word I see. We have a winnah!

Follow up article: CFIA discovers that pizza crusts made with cardboard used for pizza boxes.

 
Suflig 2009-01-25 05:20:16 AM  
brewssuds: hamiltonjdavid: Meh, if you're stupid enough to buy fat free cheese, you deserve to die.

Cheese has fat in it.

If you don't like that, don't eat it.

And wieners contain meat. That soy-based thing you've slammed into a hot-dog bun? Go fark yourself.


You sound really, really, REALLY stupid. I'm sorry that you are so stupid. You should learn things.

 
glassbottomboatcaptain 2009-01-25 05:27:34 AM  
All kidding aside, Kraft 'cheese' doesn't meet the FDA requirements to be categorized as 'food'. Which is why it's categorized as 'cheese product'. You would probably turn white as a ghost if you actually saw the process involved in making it.

I'll give you a hint. When they clean the machines out in a 3rd world dairy farm, and scrape out all the month old rancid dairy gunk, they don't throw it out. The milk that puddles on the shiat and straw-ridden floor? They don't throw it out. When milk comes out half mixed with puss because the cow has an infected udder, they don't throw it out.

They collect it, dry it out, pulverize it, ship it to the U.S. and Kraft makes cheese out of it.

 
glassbottomboatcaptain 2009-01-25 05:29:27 AM  
And coffee whitener.

 
bixpchiphead 2009-01-25 05:33:04 AM  
Canadian Food Inspection agency warns cheese slices may contain plastic is rubber, confirms what we already know

American Cheese slices=American Rubber

 
thaduke 2009-01-25 06:04:35 AM  
Dubai Vol: Does Canada get real cheese, as opposed to the US where it's so hard to come by? Every supermarket in Dubai has over 100 differet cheeses in the deli, no exaggeration. I just counted 6 kinds in my fridge.

Hint: when a cheese has some actual flavor, you don't need to use much.


Yeah, we don't have solid gold toilets like you guys in Dubai, but we've got some decent cheese.

 
Day_Old_Dutchie 2009-01-25 07:24:57 AM  
img134.imageshack.us

Open....here? (new window)

 
Sylvia_Bandersnatch 2009-01-25 07:57:27 AM  
But is there any warning that they may contain sliced process cheese product?

 
BumpInTheNight 2009-01-25 07:59:38 AM  
Day_Old_Dutchie: Open....here? (new window)

Wait a sec...those things open? I thought it was one of those time-release things where the seal wears off in your stomach for that extra flavour. :(

 
Sylvia_Bandersnatch 2009-01-25 08:08:29 AM  
bixpchiphead: Canadian Food Inspection agency warns cheese slices may contain plastic is rubber, confirms what we already know

American Cheese slices=American Rubber


I'll have you know we have some very fine rubber.

 
tombotia [TotalFark] 2009-01-25 08:29:18 AM  
Dubai Vol: Does Canada get real cheese, as opposed to the US where it's so hard to come by? Every supermarket in Dubai has over 100 differet cheeses in the deli, no exaggeration. I just counted 6 kinds in my fridge.

Hint: when a cheese has some actual flavor, you don't need to use much.


You can get "real" cheeses but they're expensive which is why sliced stuff is popular (well that and they're already sliced for sammiches). You can buy a small block of feta for $7 ... or 24 slices of mozza [or cheddar] for $5 ... hmm...

I've had a variety of traditional European cheeses when I was in france. Most of that stuff is just plain disgusting. If it's hairy, got mold, is highly mushy, or just plain off, that's not "omg it's gourmet!"

Food shouldn't have hair on it when you go to eat it. Sorry.

 
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