"[He has] lost life's pleasures"

Can a layer type explain what the this technically entails?

Implied... or implode?

Last time I had problems with my omelet, it took me 10 phone calls to some support center in India, who finally sent me out a UPS box to put it in and it took 8 weeks to get my replacement omelet.

What a drag.
I never have these problems with french toast or crepes.

rcain: What a drag.
I never have these problems with french toast or crepes.

You should try German potato pancakes. You know the Germans always make good stuff.

BKITU: rcain: What a drag.
I never have these problems with french toast or crepes.

You should try German potato pancakes. You know the Germans always make good stuff.

I'm not following you...

Loookin' thru a glass omelet.

/the walrus was paul

It's his own fault for being a carbon-based life form.

I hope this isn't another case like the finger in the Wendy's chili, but if they really served him an omelet with broken glass in it, then fark that restaurant.

Sadly, it was probably one disgruntled cook who is to blame, but the restaurant will have to pay for it.

About twenty five years ago I had a salad in a restaurant in Philadelphia, and there was glass in it, which I managed not to swallow. They offered me a replacement salad, but for some reason I wasn't hungry anymore.

I sued the pants off them, and now own a whole block of downtown Pliladelphia.

/Not really. But it's a memory I don't like to dwell on.

Diogenes: It's his own fault for being a carbon-based life form.

Obviously an egg shell case. Those serving omelets cannot be expected to assume the life forms consuming them to be carbon based. It's outrageous, arbitrary, and suppository!

Epsilon: Sadly, it was probably one disgruntled cook who is to blame, but the restaurant will have to pay for it.

Should have done everything they could to keep him gruntled.

Those are prizes!

/ooh, a flashing cap

Aaah, Friendly's.

Last time I ate there, one side of my patty melt was sopping wet with bleach-water.

/ate half of it before I figured that out
//was stupid
///also hungry

I wasn't aware that omelets had warranties.

Try having your omelets now, Denver!

I always click through the implied EULA on my toast.

I used to work at a Friendly's restaurant, and it was one of the worst places I've worked. Just really mismanaged, and they eventually busted the manager of the store I was at because he embezzled the store's money.

Mitch Mitchell: I wasn't aware that omelets had warranties.

It's legal precedent, part of the Uniform Commercial Code.

/Oops, sorry, this is Fark. Prob'ly don't want educational facts here, huh?

Peppers and onions belong in omelets, but glass does not, according to a Pottsville man...

Thanks for the hot tip there, Pottsville man. How about adding "spilled peanuts from a porno theater floor" or "hair clippings from a greek barber shop" to that list. Please enlighten us as to what else doesn't belong in omelets.

Lenny_da_Hog: Mitch Mitchell: I wasn't aware that omelets had warranties.

It's legal precedent, part of the Uniform Commercial Code.

/Oops, sorry, this is Fark. Prob'ly don't want educational facts here, huh?

Since you brought it up, it would only be fair to the rest of us farkers where perishable food items such are mentioned in the UCC.

BKITU: rcain: What a drag.
I never have these problems with french toast or crepes.

You should try German potato pancakes. You know the Germans always make good stuff.

I see what you did there. For the next twenty minutes, anyway.

Mitch Mitchell: I wasn't aware that omelets had warranties.

It's called an "implied warranty": When you call something by its name, you are also promising and agreeing that it has the attributes of other things that are called by that name.

So if I agree to sell you "food", I am promising that it is edible. Since edible is an attribute of "food". If the object is not edible, what I have sold you is not in fact "food", and the sale is prima face false; I have not performed my end of the bargain in giving you food. This may make me liable not only for a refund, but any expenses you may incur as a result of my lying to you (medical costs, etc.) .

Implied warranties are a major sector of law, as people tend to try to screw each other over. a "silver coin" that is merely colored silver, a radio show that gave away a "Toy Yoda" as a prize, "baby bottles" that leak instead of dispensing milk (they're really tiny), a late-night home shopping offer where you may "request" your money back. (But you aren't getting it back, no matter how often you request.) Each of these must fulfill the requirements of their implied warranty.

This is why software has a license agreement disclaiming any warranty; if WoW's servers go down, you can't sue them for the lost revenue for your gold farmers or the costs you incurred in hiring your sweatshop labor. They are removing this from their contract. Similarly, ladder manufacturers cannot be held responsible if you fall off, or extension cord manufacturers if you plug too many things into it and it catches fire. They have specifically told you not to do that, and no matter how much it may look right to the average person, it's still not going to work if you try to balance off of the top ladder stair and fall off, so they disclaim their implied warranty to avoid being sued.

/I am not your lawyer

Mitch Mitchell:
Since you brought it up, it would only be fair to the rest of us farkers where perishable food items such are mentioned in the UCC.

Not perishable. Prepared. Basically the UCC says that if you sell something for a given purpose, it must meet that given purpose. that's implied warranty.

/Used to spend a couple hundred million a year....

BKITU: rcain: What a drag.
I never have these problems with french toast or crepes.

You should try German potato pancakes. You know the Germans always make good stuff.

BKITU: rcain: What a drag.
I never have these problems with french toast or crepes.

You should try German potato pancakes. You know the Germans always make good stuff.

you're gonna love my nuts

Shattered covered chunked?

Sim Tree:

/I am not your lawyer

But this is only valid advice with the expressed written consent of Major League Baseball.

/I only have implied oral consent

eggs is delicious

HamWBone: BKITU: rcain: What a drag.
I never have these problems with french toast or crepes.

You should try German potato pancakes. You know the Germans always make good stuff.

you're gonna love my nuts

If I can do it with two fingers you can do it with your whole hand.

I have eaten a lot of glass in my lifetime; you could call me a silicophile. However all of it was in the form of micron sized partially soluble silica powder which is essentially harmless unless you have a gastric ulcer or something.

berylman: I have eaten a lot of glass in my lifetime; you could call me a silicophile. However all of it was in the form of micron sized partially soluble silica powder which is essentially harmless unless you have a gastric ulcer or something.

WTF

Also, German potato pancakes with applesauce are awesome.

Sim Tree: /I am not your lawyer

Could I theoretically sue Hollywood for marketing unfunny movies as comedy?

BKITU: rcain: What a drag.
I never have these problems with french toast or crepes.

You should try German potato pancakes. You know the Germans always make good stuff.

Thank you Vince, aka Bill the Cat.

doyner: HamWBone: BKITU: rcain: What a drag.
I never have these problems with french toast or crepes.

You should try German potato pancakes. You know the Germans always make good stuff.

you're gonna love my nuts

If I can do it with two fingers you can do it with your whole hand.

Did anybody else think that was SNL the first time they saw it while flipping through channels? I stopped right at the part about the nuts and nearly bust a gut.

doyner: HamWBone: BKITU: rcain: What a drag.
I never have these problems with french toast or crepes.

You should try German potato pancakes. You know the Germans always make good stuff.

you're gonna love my nuts

If I can do it with two fingers you can do it with your whole hand.

Did anybody else think that was SNL the first time they saw it while flipping through channels? I stopped right at the part about the nuts and nearly bust a gut.

I don't know - it sells itself.

Ah, Friendly's. My dad had a chip of glass about the size of a tooth in his Fribble™ once. He bit down on it because he thought it was ice.

That's twice in thirty years! It's a trend! Dad didn't sue, though, because just like Farkers he's 10,000% too manly and awesome to ever settle a dispute with anything but roundhouse kicks.

Friendly's... because some towns in New England just aren't classy enough for a Denny's.

Friendly's was the greatest place in the world, when I was 7. At least, the greatest place in Medfield, MA, which may have well been the world.

I went to Friendly's once, once. Had a huge roach stuck to the edge of my plate, the bad thing about it is that no one at the table noticed it until we were finished, yuck.

These guys would like a word with you.

/Hot like molten glass

Just thinking about glass in food, all my blood drains to my feet and I feel faint and sick to my stomach. I made a rice dish in a 2 1/2 qt. round pyrex casserole with lid. I placed it on the table to serve, and just as someone was about to dig in, I noticed a curved, very sharp sliver of glass about 3" long on the serving spoon. If the light hadn't been just right, I would have never noticed it and god knows what damage it would have caused. The lip of the lid had chipped and I didn't notice it, and I believe a kitchen god was watching out for us that night. I've see the damage accidentally chewing glass can do, and it isn't pretty, especially if it's swallowed. Now when I use pyrex or any glass cook ware, I inspect it very carefully before and after cooking.

Re-reading the above I realize I sound like bloody Heloise, but the the thought of the damage I might have caused that night will never leave me.

Eggs with any sort of implied warranty, reaches the near mythical status of bacon.

olddeegee: Eggs with any sort of implied warranty, reaches the near mythical status of bacon.

Though getting glass into the egg pre-cracking is quite a feat.

/why are we lawyers such bullshiat artists? Just say, "There was glass in the egg. Glass isn't supposed to be in eggs. Pay up."

Also lacked "contains egg" warning.

Patertot: doyner: HamWBone: BKITU: rcain: What a drag.
I never have these problems with french toast or crepes.

You should try German potato pancakes. You know the Germans always make good stuff.

you're gonna love my nuts

If I can do it with two fingers you can do it with your whole hand.

Did anybody else think that was SNL the first time they saw it while flipping through channels? I stopped right at the part about the nuts and nearly bust a gut.

I don't know - it sells itself.

Freddaccine, linguine, martini, bikini---
were gonna make america skinny again, one slap at a time

I liked the glass omelets. They always left me feeling half full.

I was at my sisters house one afternoon,she had just baked some muffins,I found some glass in the first bite.I couldn't sue her though because she had warned me of possible glass content when I picked it up.

/ another pyrex failure
//CYA Friendly's:add glass to item description.

New on the menu. CRUNCHY OMELETTE!

Whatever happened to Friendly's?

notmtwain: I liked the glass omelets. They always left me feeling half full.

Fark it. I came here to say the omlette is half-full. It's funnier.

/it's not as funny now because someone already made a half-full joke.
// :-(

Glass in an omelet? It's an infringement on your constitutional rights. It's outrageous, egregious, preposterous.

Jamieboy: Just thinking about glass in food, all my blood drains to my feet and I feel faint and sick to my stomach. I made a rice dish in a 2 1/2 qt. round pyrex casserole with lid. I placed it on the table to serve, and just as someone was about to dig in, I noticed a curved, very sharp sliver of glass about 3" long on the serving spoon. If the light hadn't been just right, I would have never noticed it and god knows what damage it would have caused. The lip of the lid had chipped and I didn't notice it, and I believe a kitchen god was watching out for us that night. I've see the damage accidentally chewing glass can do, and it isn't pretty, especially if it's swallowed. Now when I use pyrex or any glass cook ware, I inspect it very carefully before and after cooking.

Re-reading the above I realize I sound like bloody Heloise, but the the thought of the damage I might have caused that night will never leave me.

We get a lot of near-misses in life, I think. I'm not sure if there were kids at your table that night, but I have children and I can look back on many close calls. I learn from them, but I don't dwell on them.