Next time just try the old "Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?" trick.

Sage words.

Snowflake Tubbybottom: Next time just try the old "Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?" trick.

I dunno...she might get the heavy artillery out with that one. He really needs a more pliable girlfriend.

You know the mugshot for this would be filled with trailer park goodness.

You say you need your beauty sleep, and that I don't deny.
If rest will make you prettier, just lay down and die.

Some women do not understand the importance and responsibilities of the navigator seat.

Somebody got told.

"Charged with aggravated battery was Roshonda Anding"

Biatch needed her beauty sleep.

The women peoples get grouchy when they're tired. Don't annoy them.

I always promise my SO morning sex, but I never deliver. I'm a have sex, then roll over and go to sleep kinda girl.

ladyway905: I always promise my SO morning sex, but I never deliver. I'm a have sex, then roll over and go to sleep kinda girl.

So you're half terrible, half perfect?

Roshanda? Perfect.

AzErNy: You know the mugshot for this would be filled with trailer park goodness.

Not too bright are you? The shooters name is Roshanda.

yosluggo: AzErNy: You know the mugshot for this would be filled with trailer park goodness.

Not too bright are you? The shooters name is Roshanda.

The trailer parks are segregated where you live?

Ashtrey

I guess you could say that. I don't like to be bugged in the mornings, but hell yeah, let's get it on all night!

ladyway905: Ashtrey

I guess you could say that. I don't like to be bugged in the mornings, but hell yeah, let's get it on all night!

Women almost never like to be bothered in the morning. That is the great tragedy of the male morning condition.

I talk in my sleep so sometimes it seems like I am awake.

puppypants: I talk in my sleep so sometimes it seems like I am awake.

Good enough.

Gyrfalcon: Snowflake Tubbybottom: Next time just try the old "Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?" trick.

I dunno...she might get the heavy artillery out with that one. He really needs a more pliable girlfriend.

one pliable girlfriend, coming up: Link (pops, nsfw)

Ashtrey: ladyway905: Ashtrey

I guess you could say that. I don't like to be bugged in the mornings, but hell yeah, let's get it on all night!

Women almost never like to be bothered in the morning. That is the great tragedy of the male morning condition.

lucky me. My wife only wants it in the morning cause she's too wired to sleep afterwards. Gets monotonous, trust me.

The real solution is the first one in the comments:

She shoulda given him some - like most guys, it would only have taken a few minutes, and he'd have rolled right over and went to sleep!

Now she gets to bump uglies with the gals.

/maybe that's her thing. Who knows...

Wentzbag: puppypants: I talk in my sleep so sometimes it seems like I am awake.

Good enough.

i'm not complaining, just know that anything that i say or do i won't remember so don't quiz me in the morning.

The guy did it wrong. Everyone knows that five across the eyes will always keep a woman in check.

That's a man, BABY!

more animals

My boyfriend seems to save up his sexual energy for when I am utterly exhausted. I'm immobile and half asleep after an exhausting day and he's crawling all over me with the poke-poke and the furi-curi.

He claims I'm adorable when I'm sleepy but I'm thinking he's going to ask me to soak in a tub of ice any way now.

Omnis_evil_twin: My boyfriend seems to save up his sexual energy for when I am utterly exhausted. I'm immobile and half asleep after an exhausting day and he's crawling all over me with the poke-poke and the furi-curi.

He claims I'm adorable when I'm sleepy but I'm thinking he's going to ask me to soak in a tub of ice any way now.

o.0

Yes.

Omnis_evil_twin: .

He claims I'm adorable when I'm sleepy but I'm thinking he's going to ask me to soak in a tub of ice any way now.

Unless something unexpected is going on in the bottom 15% of your face, he's probably right.

I used to do the same thing to a certain ex. She was always happy she gave in once it got started.

/that sounded a lot more "rapey" than it should have

My boyfriend seems to save up his sexual energy for when I am utterly exhausted. I'm immobile and half asleep after an exhausting day and he's crawling all over me with the poke-poke and the furi-curi.

He claims I'm adorable when I'm sleepy but I'm thinking he's going to ask me to soak in a tub of ice any way now.

He probably just likes it when you're too tired to whine.

As someone who is currently quite sleep deprived, I have to say I do have some sympathy for her.

However, it's much easier to just chuck an alarm clock at someone's head to get the message across.

I wonder what she would have done if he didn't like her mom or thought her ass looked fat.

Time to get a new girlfriend, yo.

One less... homicidal.

geedavey: lucky me. My wife only wants it in the morning cause she's too wired to sleep afterwards. Gets monotonous, trust me.

Perhaps you should go for more rounds until she's too tired for wired.
/After all, how much can you do with a "piss" boner?

"The trailer parks are segregated where you live?"

Yep, toofies and no toofies.

Ashtrey: Omnis_evil_twin: .

He claims I'm adorable when I'm sleepy but I'm thinking he's going to ask me to soak in a tub of ice any way now.

Unless something unexpected is going on in the bottom 15% of your face, he's probably right.

I used to do the same thing to a certain ex. She was always happy she gave in once it got started.

/that sounded a lot more "rapey" than it should have

My girlfriend never gives in. Most women will give in if you whine enough, but not this one.

If I could find the person who was keeping me awake all night, I'd shoot them, too.

/insomniac

TXAGScott: My girlfriend never gives in.

She's never told me it bothered her.

I'm having a hell of a time sleeping right now, but I'm not really getting a kick out of these replies.

/Really annoyed I can't sleep

Wentzbag: puppypants: I talk in my sleep so sometimes it seems like I am awake.

Good enough.

Unrelated to the thread, I love your name.

I'm not saying it's right....but I understand.

It's never domestic violence if a woman does it.

I knew a guy that killed his room mate for waking him up.
He shot him, stole his motorcycle and was caught a few days later.
He only did 4 1/2 years.

/Yeah, I know some real winners.....

The coont I'm married to sleeps 16 hours a day.

At least she is keeping her mouth closed during those times.

Although that was extreme, I do understand. I am a light sleeper, don't fall asleep easily, and get really irate when someone wakes me up, unless it is an emergency.

Guys, just go take a piss. Is it really worth getting shot at?

She was so mean that she once shot a man....just for snoring too loud.

"Told you, you should have shot the Biatch".

geedavey: Gyrfalcon: Snowflake Tubbybottom: Next time just try the old "Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?" trick.

I dunno...she might get the heavy artillery out with that one. He really needs a more pliable girlfriend.

one pliable girlfriend, coming up: Link (pops, nsfw)

The FAQ on that website is hilarious. I can only imagine the kind of people that buy these things.

OniNeko: The FAQ on that website is hilarious. I can only imagine the kind of people that buy these things.

Most of them are probally on Fark.

I got up this a.m., had some coffee and read Fark. After awhile my wife called me back to bed for a morning boink, so I am getting a kick of these replies.

Though this is an extreme reaction, I can sort of sympathize.
Guy I hung out with was very touchy, whereas I don't like to be touched at all. And he wasn't my boyfriend.
So we'd be driving to a party, and he would grab my leg. I would pick up his hand and place it back on his side of the car. Instead of taking the hint he would place his hand in between my legs or on my stomach, even though he knows I hate that. I would keep trying to wrestle his hand away. All while he's trying to grope me, the car is veering out of the lane.
All because when he wants to touch, he's got to touch, and never mind that I don't want it, what about what he wants? Then he complains that I'm infringing on his nonexistent right to fondle me.

/I admit I'm a little prudish when it comes to touch. I was raised in a "keep your hands and feet to yourself" environment. But this is not going to coax me out of it.