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(UPI) Strange Country-pop teen starlet Taylor Swift tops U.S. album charts for seventh consecutive week. Unfortunately, Nickelback is still #3   (upi.com) divider line 70
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Skail [TotalFark] 2009-01-21 02:08:14 PM  
I know it's popular to hate on Nickelback, but I listened to a couple of their songs and I realized they're not really bad, they're just waaaaaaaaay overplayed. Unlike Creed, who actually sucks bowls of dicks. With Nickelback, I think if they played a NB less-frequently than every third song, they would probably be listenable.

 
Artmageddon 2009-01-21 02:21:52 PM  
Skail: I know it's popular to hate on Nickelback, but I listened to a couple of their songs and I realized they're not really bad, they're just waaaaaaaaay overplayed. Unlike Creed, who actually sucks bowls of dicks. With Nickelback, I think if they played a NB less-frequently than every third song, they would probably be listenable.

Well, Creed's been long gone, and Nickelback is filling the void...

/they're not that bad, but they're not that great either.. eh, to each their own

 
MaxxLarge [TotalFark] 2009-01-21 02:24:44 PM  
Good CHRIST, Taylor Swift is terrible. Worse than drunk-chick-at-karaoke-warbling-"I-Will-Survive"-with-her-drunk-friends level terrible. Every time I see her on some talk show or something, she's up there stomping around with that ridiculous rhinestone-encrusted guitar (gee, I'll bet THAT improves the soundboard resonance) and her stupid boots, CLEARLY thinking she's rocking the place, when in fact, her reed-thin voice and piss-poor delivery couldn't carry a tune in any of a dozen buckets. Her poor band are obviously composed of veteran Nashville jobbers who are clearly embarrassed. I mean, she's bad for a COUNTRY artist, and country is typically the last refuge for the washed-up and/or talentless.

Anyone who knows what she looks like understands immediately that she isn't famous for her music. That much is obvious. But the fact that she's as adorable as she is under-gifted (which is to say on both counts: unbearably so) still doesn't excuse her off-key warbling, nor the fact that she's allowed to do it on such a writ-large scale.

We all suffer because she gave some A&R guy a boner.

 
dj_bigbird [TotalFark] 2009-01-21 02:31:47 PM  
Does she have a dad that's exploiting her and making her do dirty pix? Cause that'd be hawt.

/as long as she's 18

 
El Freak [TotalFark] 2009-01-21 02:36:20 PM  
Who??? I'm amazed that, with larger hard drives and widely available broadband, anybody over the age of 8 listens to enough pop radio to know who these assclowns are.

 
Bob_Laublaw [TotalFark] 2009-01-21 02:37:49 PM  
I used to defend Nickelback as nice small-town boys who were met with some good international success with their brand of simple, but overplayed, rawk.

The defense stopped the first time I heard 'Something in your mouth'. Really? This is the type of Spinal Tap lyric they've evolved to after better than a dozen years?

 
jonasborg [TotalFark] 2009-01-21 02:39:14 PM  
El Freak: Who??? I'm amazed that, with larger hard drives and widely available broadband, anybody over the age of 8 listens to enough pop radio to know who these assclowns are.

Exactly

 
HAMMERTOE [TotalFark] 2009-01-21 02:39:55 PM  
MaxxLarge: she's bad for a COUNTRY artist, and country is typically the last refuge for the washed-up and/or talentless.

You've clearly demonstrated your lack of any musical chops whatsoever with that ludicrous statement.

Look up:

Vince Gill
Brad Paisley
Chet Atkins
Roy Clark

All accomplished guitarists in their own right. All country guitarists. Just from different generations.

It actually takes much more talent to play clean, undistorted, and in time.

 
HAMMERTOE [TotalFark] 2009-01-21 02:41:31 PM  
However, Taylor Swift is a marketing device with floozy hair. She might write her own songs, but it's her looks that got her where she is today, not an abundance of talent.

 
Bob_Laublaw [TotalFark] 2009-01-21 02:49:01 PM  
El Freak: Who??? I'm amazed that, with larger hard drives and widely available broadband, anybody over the age of 8 listens to enough pop radio to know who these assclowns are.

Heh. That's a nifty variation of "I'll have you know that I don't even own a TV."

 
El Freak [TotalFark] 2009-01-21 02:56:28 PM  
HAMMERTOE: MaxxLarge: she's bad for a COUNTRY artist, and country is typically the last refuge for the washed-up and/or talentless.

You've clearly demonstrated your lack of any musical chops whatsoever with that ludicrous statement.

Look up:

Vince Gill
Brad Paisley
Chet Atkins
Roy Clark

All accomplished guitarists in their own right. All country guitarists. Just from different generations.

It actually takes much more talent to play clean, undistorted, and in time.


Eh, don't even waste your time. Be prepared for a frothing at the mouth rant about his obviously higher IQ and superior knowledge of music. I agree though, there are guitarists in country that could absolutely wipe the floor with 99% of rock guitarists out there from a technical perspective. It's a much more challenging style to master than most give it credit for.

There's great stuff in every genre. You just won't hear it on radio anymore, except for satellite.

 
El Freak [TotalFark] 2009-01-21 03:03:34 PM  
Bob_Laublaw: El Freak: Who??? I'm amazed that, with larger hard drives and widely available broadband, anybody over the age of 8 listens to enough pop radio to know who these assclowns are.

Heh. That's a nifty variation of "I'll have you know that I don't even own a TV."


The difference between TV and pop radio is there's occasionally something on TV that isn't shiat.

There's so many great artists in every genre, and it's possible to have thousands of them on your hard drive or mp3 player, so I really am perplexed why any body with a PC and a broadband connection would care about the pop charts at all.

 
Bob_Laublaw [TotalFark] 2009-01-21 03:10:14 PM  
El Freak: here's so many great artists in every genre, and it's possible to have thousands of them on your hard drive or mp3 player, so I really am perplexed why any body with a PC and a broadband connection would care about the pop charts at all.

Yup, I get that, my man.

For me, I take a little bit from every dish at the buffet. My problem with satellite radio and broadband channels is that there is fragmentation of genres into micro-specific categories. I like variety, and that variety spans from esoteric, noodling jazz to contemporary pop.

 
albo [TotalFark] 2009-01-21 03:12:41 PM  
MaxxLarge: when in fact, her reed-thin voice and piss-poor delivery couldn't carry a tune in any of a dozen buckets

i saw her on SNL and immediately thought, "this is a top-selling pop star?" her voice wasn't even american idol reject quality

 
discount sushi 2009-01-21 03:13:59 PM  
She's horrible. Anyone that saw her SNL performance can tell that.

The only way that her album can sounds good is overproducing every track to within an inch of its life.

She should have taken the RCA development deal. She may be a good song writer, but she needs voice lessons.

 
discount sushi 2009-01-21 03:16:10 PM  
Sound, not sounds.

/bad at proofreading

 
Bob_Laublaw [TotalFark] 2009-01-21 03:16:53 PM  
discount sushi: The only way that her album can sounds good is overproducing every track to within an inch of its life.

Otherwise known as the 'Nashvillification' of music into the aural equivalent of wallpaper.

 
ZAZ [TotalFark] 2009-01-21 04:22:35 PM  
I heard one of her songs on radio and liked it. I was about to buy a CD when I thought "I should listen to some more samples first." (I don't steal "share" music.) What I heard online was awful. I don't know why I liked her on the radio. It might be the Wallflowers effect, as I call it, where the music is mixed to sound good if and only if you can't listen closely.

And if you don't like country and are willing to give a talented country artist a chance, listen to tracks 12-14 on Brad Paisley's CD Play -- two instrumentals and a duet with B.B. King.

 
NightOwl2255 2009-01-21 04:30:09 PM  
HAMMERTOE: MaxxLarge: she's bad for a COUNTRY artist, and country is typically the last refuge for the washed-up and/or talentless.

You've clearly demonstrated your lack of any musical chops whatsoever with that ludicrous statement.

Look up:

Vince Gill
Brad Paisley
Chet Atkins
Roy Clark

All accomplished guitarists in their own right. All country guitarists. Just from different generations.

It actually takes much more talent to play clean, undistorted, and in time.


Feast your eyes on some serious kickass gee-tar playing! Link (new window)

 
lehmac [TotalFark] 2009-01-21 05:08:59 PM  
every time you say ortype "nickleback" and angel gets a hemroid.

/laughs at angels sittingon butt dougnuts
//nickleback nickleback nickleback
/// I accidently summond Candy Man
//// dies

 
Gunny Highway 2009-01-21 05:13:36 PM  
Bad pop music topping the charts is strange how?

Nickleback is at least funny. You know all the obvious blowjob references and all. Im sure they tried to be good for a while, it didnt work, and now they are just cashing in.

 
Icey_M 2009-01-21 05:40:26 PM  
Her performance on SNL was alarmingly bad

Agree with everything MaxxLarge said above

 
tshetter 2009-01-21 05:43:43 PM  
I know nickle back sucks...

But you know what sucks more?

All of you going 22 posts without a pic of Taylor Swift.

i204.photobucket.com

images.starpulse.com

 
DecemberNitro 2009-01-21 06:04:19 PM  
Somebody please post that pic of the nickelback dude with the MS Paint dick in his mouth.

/and more Taylor also

 
drpepperlite 2009-01-21 06:07:06 PM  
ah...i came here for the pics and was not disappointed, love this place

 
CDP [TotalFark] 2009-01-21 06:09:20 PM  
Bob_Laublaw: discount sushi: The only way that her album can sounds good is overproducing every track to within an inch of its life.

Otherwise known as the 'Nashvillification' of music into the aural equivalent of wallpaper.


I think that the great Dale Watson says it best:

Now, she's out there too, she's got her own secrets too. (Shhhh, don't tell nobody.)
She can't sing a lick and in a bucket, she couldn't carry her tunes. (Now wait a minute.)
She's pretty as a picture and she sure got a nice set of...wits. (Yeah.)
And she misses her producer slash boyfriend who seduced her, er produced her a hit.

Hey, that's country, my ass,
Who do they think we am?
Force-feed us that shiat.
Ain't you real tired of it?
Tell 'em stick it up high,
Where the sun don't shine.
Get pissed, an'get mad,
Tell 'em that's country, my ass.


i272.photobucket.com

img.photobucket.com

i48.photobucket.com

i249.photobucket.com

I believe Taylor could learn a few things from these ladies.

 
Inaditch 2009-01-21 06:09:37 PM  
Every picture I've seen of this girl causes a mini tango in my pants, but this one makes me want to watch The Rocky Horror Picture Show again.

images.askmen.com

 
fritopendejo 2009-01-21 06:29:58 PM  
Skail: I know it's popular to hate on Nickelback, but I listened to a couple of their songs and I realized they're not really bad, they're just waaaaaaaaay overplayed. Unlike Creed, who actually sucks bowls of dicks. With Nickelback, I think if they played a NB less-frequently than every third song, they would probably be listenable.

BWAHHH-HA-HAAHA-HA-HA! You are so effing ghey.

 
El Freak [TotalFark] 2009-01-21 06:33:45 PM  
ZAZ:
And if you don't like country and are willing to give a talented country artist a chance, listen to tracks 12-14 on Brad Paisley's CD Play -- two instrumentals and a duet with B.B. King.


Definitely. That dude does some UNREAL things with a Tele. The whole album kicks obscene amounts of ass, especially the song Turf's Up. Country meets surf guitar? Me likey.

 
GrizzlyAdamsRox 2009-01-21 06:34:51 PM  
MaxxLarge: Good CHRIST, Taylor Swift is terrible. Worse than drunk-chick-at-karaoke-warbling-"I-Will-Survive"-with-her-drunk-friends level terrible.

I want to apologize for Mrs. GAR's behavior, and would like to assure you I will try my best to make sure it doesn't happen again.

As for Taylor Swift, I can't stand her. Is she hot? Absofarkinlutely. She may stick around because she writes her own songs, and they can be tweaked musically to be played on AC and Top 40 stations. I don't get the appeal of her music, but then her songs aren't geared towards 30 year old males (at least the content of the songs isn't). Country music has been neutered because it's been geared towards teens and women working in offices for the last decade using glossy pop production standards, girl power songs and pretty boys. New country is dead to me.

/Shooter Jennings said it best: Let's Put the "O" Back in coontry

 
BobXXL 2009-01-21 06:45:51 PM  
Pop teen starlet Taylor Swift.

/I'll have a seat
//over there

 
CDP [TotalFark] 2009-01-21 06:52:36 PM  
Boys, and girls this is what Country music is supposed to sound like

Link (new window)

Link (new window)

 
barneyfifesbullet 2009-01-21 06:54:38 PM  
The only females that are successful in country music are pretty girls between the ages of 18-25ish.

No talent required. Just look good on camera and in the video. Good eye candy.

That was one reason that Dixie Chicks thing was a moot point. They were done anyway.

 
tshetter 2009-01-21 07:15:17 PM  
whenyourebored.files.wordpress.com

/thought i posted this but lost the tab in the mix
//gift for everyone

 
mfaby 2009-01-21 07:18:11 PM  
She's got a face like a scrunched up taco but a great butt.

Plus she's 5'11" and has legs so long she could wrap them around you
twice.

And her music? I've heard her shout out to Tim McGraw but that's
it.

Plus her heart shaped tat is tacky.

 
Forkstabbed 2009-01-21 07:21:21 PM  
Preview of next week's billboard thread: Who the F is Animal Collective?

 
MikeXpop 2009-01-21 07:29:26 PM  
barneyfifesbullet: The only females that are successful in country music are pretty girls between the ages of 18-25ish.

No talent required. Just look good on camera and in the video. Good eye candy.

That was one reason that Dixie Chicks thing was a moot point. They were done anyway.


Alison Krauss, Shania Twain, Emmylou Harris, Linda Ronstadt, Patty Griffin, Reba McEntire, Dolly Parton, everyone in the Carter Family...

You're right. All of their careers stopped dead at 25.

 
CDP [TotalFark] 2009-01-21 07:31:26 PM  
barneyfifesbullet: The only females that are successful in country music are pretty girls between the ages of 18-25ish.

No talent required. Just look good on camera and in the video. Good eye candy.

That was one reason that Dixie Chicks thing was a moot point. They were done anyway.


i132.photobucket.com

i132.photobucket.com

Would like to have a word with you.

 
CDP [TotalFark] 2009-01-21 07:33:48 PM  
MikeXpop: barneyfifesbullet: The only females that are successful in country music are pretty girls between the ages of 18-25ish.

No talent required. Just look good on camera and in the video. Good eye candy.

That was one reason that Dixie Chicks thing was a moot point. They were done anyway.

Alison Krauss, Shania Twain, Emmylou Harris, Linda Ronstadt, Patty Griffin, Reba McEntire, Dolly Parton, everyone in the Carter Family...

You're right. All of their careers stopped dead at 25.


FTFY

 
PresentCompanyExcluded 2009-01-21 07:43:09 PM  
HAMMERTOE:
Vince Gill
Brad Paisley
Chet Atkins
Roy Clark

All accomplished guitarists in their own right. All country guitarists. Just from different generations.

It actually takes much more talent to play clean, undistorted, and in time.

Damn straight, and I'm not much for shiat-kicker music.

 
alacy52 2009-01-21 07:47:49 PM  
Country-pop teen starlet talentless hack Taylor Swift tops U.S. album charts for seventh consecutive week.

Fixed.

She's hot, but otherwise those of us who listen to real country want nothing to do with her.

Btw, for those who like actual country, I would recommend Miss Leslie and Her Juke-Jointers, who happen to be giving away autographed copies of their most recent album for free (new window).

 
Third_Uncle_Eno 2009-01-21 07:48:20 PM  
her singing wasn't the greatest on SNL the other week, but then again, not many bands are/were that good whilst performing on SNL....
except for Neil Young "Keep on rocking in the freeworld"
and arguably Radiohead Kid A era. [idioteque]

 
MikeXpop 2009-01-21 07:48:29 PM  
CDP:

FTFY


Shania and Reba both hit their commercial peaks in their mid-to-late 30s. I never said "this is a list of TALENTED artists to last past 25", in which case I have no idea why you left Dolly Parton on.

 
CDP [TotalFark] 2009-01-21 08:01:45 PM  
MikeXpop: CDP:

FTFY

Shania and Reba both hit their commercial peaks in their mid-to-late 30s. I never said "this is a list of TALENTED artists to last past 25", in which case I have no idea why you left Dolly Parton on.


Reba, and Shania are not country artist, they are "Nashvegas" pop.

Dolly is a very good writer, I will admit she did put out some real shiat back in the 80's

 
John Buck 41 2009-01-21 08:12:26 PM  
Skail: I know it's popular to hate on Nickelback, but I listened to a couple of their songs and I realized they're not really bad, they're just waaaaaaaaay overplayed. Unlike Creed, who actually sucks bowls of dicks. With Nickelback, I think if they played a NB less-frequently than every third song, they would probably be listenable.

Blame radio, not the band.

 
El Freak [TotalFark] 2009-01-21 08:24:36 PM  
MikeXpop: barneyfifesbullet: The only females that are successful in country music are pretty girls between the ages of 18-25ish.

No talent required. Just look good on camera and in the video. Good eye candy.

That was one reason that Dixie Chicks thing was a moot point. They were done anyway.

Alison Krauss, Shania Twain, Emmylou Harris, Linda Ronstadt, Patty Griffin, Reba McEntire, Dolly Parton, everyone in the Carter Family...

You're right. All of their careers stopped dead at 25.


Note that all their careers started 20 or more years ago. When it comes to modern pop country shiat, barneyfifesbullet is 100% correct. The crap that Trashville shiats out is aimed solely at soccer moms and moronic teenage girls and anybody older than 25 hasn't got a shot in hell there.

 
barneyfifesbullet 2009-01-21 08:27:10 PM  
The only females that are successful in country music are pretty girls between the ages of 18-25ish.

That's right. That's the way it is these days.

They're the only ones that sell anything and the only ones that get any promotion from the corporate country radio industry. And, they run the country music business.

It's actually been that way in country music all along with 30ish being the cut off point in years past, but the age limits for females are lower now than ever. There are few exceptions.

Linda Ronstadt, Emmylou Harris, corporate country radio success was mostly in their 20s. Alison Krauss used to be a great bluegrass player before she got into the crappy adult contemporary ballad business. She spends most of her concert time just holding her fiddle now, without playing it. The cd with Robert Plant is good, but that's not country either. She has never played any real country music. Bluegrass and country are two different genres.

Few know who Patty Griffin is. Shania Twain is pop music. Reba paired herself with Kelly whatshername recently just to get someone to pay Reba any attention. Dolly Parton has been in the Dolly Parton business for years now with no radio hits.

The cutoff age for men is 40ish. Country music treats it's stars like crap. They just put them out to pasture, no matter the quality of their music. George Jones, Merle Haggard and Willie Nelson still make great albums and they can't get anything on the mainstream country radio.

Hell, Willie Nelson makes at least two records every year.

 
Boris S. Wort [TotalFark] 2009-01-21 09:30:07 PM  
Is this the point of the thread where someone comes along and cries that you are all a bunch of pretentious snobs who just hate on anything that's popular?


No. No it isn't.


/Your favourite band sucks
//especially if it's Nickleback

 
smithdorm 2009-01-21 10:10:17 PM  
I'll give her credit for not lip-syncing on SNL the other week - however, she does need some serious help with the whole "singing-in-tune" thing.

 
John Buck 41 2009-01-21 11:05:27 PM  
MaxxLarge: Good CHRIST, Taylor Swift is terrible. Worse than drunk-chick-at-karaoke-warbling-"I-Will-Survive"-with-her-drunk-friends level terrible. Every time I see her on some talk show or something, she's up there stomping around with that ridiculous rhinestone-encrusted guitar (gee, I'll bet THAT improves the soundboard resonance) and her stupid boots, CLEARLY thinking she's rocking the place, when in fact, her reed-thin voice and piss-poor delivery couldn't carry a tune in any of a dozen buckets. Her poor band are obviously composed of veteran Nashville jobbers who are clearly embarrassed. I mean, she's bad for a COUNTRY artist, and country is typically the last refuge for the washed-up and/or talentless.

Actually there are several stops to washed-up and talentless before country...but I won't piss off aficionados of those genres by mentioning them. You know who you are.

 
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