And this little Dutchman went wee wee wee all the way home.

That's gotta hurt...

Even pigs hate the Dutch

If I were him, not only would I want monetary compensation, but I'd want that boar turned into my flight meal.

Yeah they're pretty nasty, but if you're a good desert dweller you can hunt these things year round with knives.

/Lives in Tucson

These things are usually only out at night or very early morning. I've been charged by them on several occasions. Nasty things. I hate to see the Desert Museum having to deal with this. They advise everyone about the dangers of the wildlife around the facility (as the name suggests, it is in a more remote location with no developments nearby....its kind of the point to go there to see the wildlife).shiat happens.

no one expects the spanish inquisition!

ohnowtf: /Lives in Tucson

These things are usually only out at night or very early morning. I've been charged by them on several occasions. Nasty things. I hate to see the Desert Museum having to deal with this. They advise everyone about the dangers of the wildlife around the facility (as the name suggests, it is in a more remote location with no developments nearby....its kind of the point to go there to see the wildlife).shiat happens.

Personally, I wouldn't be scared of the boars, I'd be scared of the tiny scorpions.

/Lives in Hermosillo

Hm, Seems like it'd be an easy thing to kick or something.

FTA: "Van Slyke, who last month filed a claim against Pima County - which owns the museum site - said he does not believe the museum proved that the javelina that attacked his client did not belong to them...."

I thought it was impossible to prove a negative.

Scorpions aren't so bad in my experience. Just check your shoes. By and large scorpions just ignored me when I've lived around them. Supposedly their sting just gives you a sickness with flu-like fever symptoms.

/could be massively misinformed

Nouse41: Hm, Seems like it'd be an easy thing to kick or something.

Do the males have tusks? That would make a difference.

I like tearing up Dutchmen too. Hot, blond, wavy haired, green eyed Dutchmen.

Like to see you kick it.. These things are nasty.. Taste good though..

They're kinda stinky too, but they do taste good.

/Sorry I am late to the party, it took a bit to find this picture

LaExpat: They're kinda stinky too, but they do taste good.

still kickable imo.

Nouse41: still kickable imo.

They have lasers..?

LaExpat: They're kinda stinky too, but they do taste good.

I heard javelina tastes really bad. Never had it myself.

As far as the article, why is the museum responsible if you get attacked by a wild animal? I also wonder if the attack was completely unprovoked, or if the guy thought it looked harmless and tried to interact with it in some way.

Brick Top approves

Javelinas 1 Swamp Nazis 0

Remember the Tales From the Dark Side episode about the pigs? Or the Stephen King story about the pig eating the guy slowly, from the feet up?

Pigs a farking scary.

What a boaring story.


/knew not an animal called a javelina

That_Bob_Guy: Brick Top approves

As does Mason Verger.


/terrible farking movie
//Gary Oldman was AWESOME as Mason though
///image hotlinked

If the pig was in a museum, wouldn't that prevent it from attacking anyone? Don't they pretty well stuff those things before placing them in the museum? So the only way the tourist could have been mauled by one is if he climbed into the exhibit and used the tusks to savage his own foot. Which would explain why no blood or other remains were ever found on the path.

Sounds like a scam to me. No reason to blame some poor pig.

(Yeah, I RTFA. You guys have no sense of humor.)

Ihaveanevilparrot: LaExpat: They're kinda stinky too, but they do taste good.

I heard javelina tastes really bad. Never had it myself.

As far as the article, why is the museum responsible if you get attacked by a wild animal? I also wonder if the attack was completely unprovoked, or if the guy thought it looked harmless and tried to interact with it in some way.

Depends on the pig. A boar in rut makes skunk ass taste like Waygu Filet Mignon, but an unbred yearling sow ain't half bad IMHO.

/Apply principle across all animal species worth eating

I don't see what the problem is.

/hotlinkrod

I seriously doubt it was a kept javelina, having met a tame javelina, I gotta say they're bigger gluttons for attention than golden retrievers, and about as dangerous. I'd actually like one for a pet once I get a place that has room for one.

It wasn't me:

Greta_VanHouten: I like tearing up Dutchmen too. Hot, blond, wavy haired, green eyed Dutchmen.

how you doin?

Nouse41: Hm, Seems like it'd be an easy thing to kick or something.

They're pretty tough and weigh about 50-60 pounds. They also move faster than you'd think. Suppose I'd still try to kick one if I had no other option, though.

Living in Arizona, I've seen these before and they can be a little unsettling because they blend into the environment stupidly well. I used to have a delivery job and had a stop at a house up in northern Cave Creek, which is kind of a rural foothills area north of Phoenix. The woman was standing in her front yard when I drove up, and calmly told me to not get out of the van and that she'd come up to me. I thought she was just batty until her at-first empty yard began to ... move. There were probably a dozen adult and several baby javelinas. I checked in the rearview mirror to make sure I didn't have three laser dots in a triangle on my forehead.

The tourist probably thought the little piggy was cute and forgot that humans don't usually fare well against wild animals.

Wild animals tend not to fark with you unless they see you as a food source or if they see you as a threat/you fark with them first.

Or they're rabid.

Why was this guy not quarantined? RABIES

Submitted with obscure headline of:

"Does your javelina bite?"

Lived in Prescott Az for a while and had what of these critters wander into the garage looking for food. They are mean, nasty and god awful smelling. I had to haul everything outta the garage and power wash it to remove the smell. One very unpleasant experience to say the least.

Excen: Ihaveanevilparrot: LaExpat: They're kinda stinky too, but they do taste good.

I heard javelina tastes really bad. Never had it myself.

As far as the article, why is the museum responsible if you get attacked by a wild animal? I also wonder if the attack was completely unprovoked, or if the guy thought it looked harmless and tried to interact with it in some way.

Depends on the pig. A boar in rut makes skunk ass taste like Waygu Filet Mignon, but an unbred yearling sow ain't half bad IMHO.

/Apply principle across all animal species worth eating

I see. I'll have to try some if I get the chance since I like most wild game if prepared correctly.

It seems like a lot of people in Texas have a predjudice against javelina meat, but I wonder if that's just because it hasn't been killed/cooked right.
I know a lot of people that say they don't like venison but when I cook they don't know the difference. I don't even buy beef since I usually have so much venison in my freezer and no one says anything, especially if it's ground.

You're always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together. And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it's no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig shiat, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig".

RoyBatty: Submitted with obscure headline of:

"Does your javelina bite?"

No

I thought you said your javelina did not bite?!

That is not my javelina!

and not one comment about the first class flying dutchman?

Did he look like curry to a pisshead?

spasemunki: You're always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together. And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it's no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig shiat, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig".

There were some killers in upstate michigan that did this for real.

Well, that'll learn him not to try the old "Dutch Rudder" on a javelina.

During my one and only Arizona visit, I visited that museum. Saw lots of lizards outside, but no pig type things.

jerky on the veldt: Did he look like curry to a pisshead?

What DOES curry look like to a pisshead? I need this to complete my notes.

Furtah: spasemunki: You're always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together. And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it's no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig shiat, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig".

There were some killers in upstate michigan that did this for real.

Also a serial killer in Canada a few years ago. Sold the "tainted" pig meat into circulation.

I see plenty of wild animals where I live. I see coyotes in my neighborhood, bugs the size of small birds, etc. So I have to ask: WTF kind of farked up place are you people living in where people are attacked by a wild pig in a museum? Are they really just running around like squirrels? That's crazy!

Gyrfalcon: jerky on the veldt: Did he look like curry to a pisshead?

What DOES curry look like to a pisshead? I need this to complete my notes.

Probably something like bacon to a TFer

One of the top restaurants in PHX serves it, but it's on the menu as "wild boar," which I admit sounds more exotic and less like the kind of thing that was formerly rampaging the chef's garbage cans out back.

First the dog eating the rubber toys, now someone getting chewed up by a pig.

The Snatch trifecta is in play!