>:3

It's too late, it has already reached the Keys!

/how will we start the car?

Why do I care if it's a lionfish? And what's a car?

This may well become the most devastating marine invasion in history.

On the other hand, it may not.

Monkey MKIII: It's too late, it has already reached the Keys!

/how will we start the car?

...and they're giving birth to SEA KITTENS everywhere!!!!

Headline wins.
Thread Over.
Fark over.

It's been nice.

Watch out for the bikini whale!

JesusTheChrist: Why do I care if it's a lionfish? And what's a car?

You wanna death even more painful than crucifixion, hippie? Just punch a lionfish.

/And when are you going to make my water cooler dispense Chateau Lafitte Rothschild?

It's a Narwhale

You can get in the car, I'm getting the fark out of the water.

/you can learn a lot from a kennedy

FOUL!!

Inappropriate use of tag.

The_Primal_Janitor: FOUL!!


Inappropriate use of FLORIDA tag.


Agreed. The Keys exist on a totally different stratosphere from the rest of FL.

SamFlagg: Headline wins.
Thread Over.
Fark over.

It's been nice.

Really? That is a "winner" to you? Wow!

JesusTheChrist: Why do I care if it's a lionfish?

Your ilk should mindful of lions in replicating form.

They give great blowjobs, though:

Almost as scary as a Lion Turtle


/hot

Sounds like it's time to eat...lionfish

FTA said Lisa Mitchell, executive director of the Key Largo-based Reef Environmental Education Foundation (REEF)

Naming Fail. The acronym can't be the same as the first word in your acronym. I mean, I guess it can, but it's retarded.

Oh FFS. I'm a new diver (NAUI certified November last year), and I will take almost any animal in the ocean over these farkers. And as for their "painful" sting, well, they can actually kill you. If I remember right there was an article on Fark sometime last year about a woman in Britain dying because her pet lionfish stung her.

I have a shortie wetsuit, but I guess the thing's never getting any use and I'll be buying a full body. No way I'm going in the water without full coverage now.

/son of a biatch
//might be a reason to get spearfishing certified

`This may well become the most devastating marine invasion in history.'...True, only one fish has been found thus far.

Er...

Protip: the Florida Keys are a part of Florida.

/Subby
//green #18
///....does this mean I'm legal?

There are two things in this world that smell like fish. And one of them is fish.

Lion fish are no big deal. You would have to go out of your way to get stung by one.

Even in the Indian ocean where they are plentiful you can just avoid them.


Ringshadow: Oh FFS. I'm a new diver (NAUI certified November last year), and I will take almost any animal in the ocean over these farkers.

Try diving with Orcas and pissed off sea lions.

Sides, the most dangerous animal in the sea is always going to be other divers.

Congrats on your OW.

They sure are purty though....

King Something: Protip: the Florida Keys are a part of Florida.

/Subby
//green #18
///....does this mean I'm legal?

But a Florida tag usually means some sort of retardedness indicative of Floridians to follow. This was simply just a story that happens to take place in Florida.

MAN THE HARPOONS!

darkeyes: They sure are purty though.... And, oh so delcious!

Well they said it was an edibal and tastes good. Hmm...waiter I would like the lionfish with a white wine sauce served on a bed of rice. Oh and a bottle of Cornona! I think i found a tasty way to solve this problem.

But the plague of Everglades Burmese pythons likely began with a single snake. Then a second. Then, a bacchanal of breeding and -- voilà! -- snakes are devouring alligators whole.

why did they have to say it started with one snake when it was of course 2.

T.M.S.: Lion fish are no big deal. You would have to go out of your way to get stung by one.

Even in the Indian ocean where they are plentiful you can just avoid them.


Ringshadow: Oh FFS. I'm a new diver (NAUI certified November last year), and I will take almost any animal in the ocean over these farkers.

Try diving with Orcas and pissed off sea lions.

Sides, the most dangerous animal in the sea is always going to be other divers.

Congrats on your OW.

I'll take your word for it I guess. I honestly haven't done OW except for lakes so far (and may I say that's extremely uncomfortable in November in MI), so what I know about them is what I've read. Are they aggressive at all?

/and thanks for the congrats

Meh. I dived (no wetsuit) with these farkers all around in the Bahamas and there were no issues. Don't touch them and you are fine.

bersl2: >:3

Winner in one.

nacker: King Something: Protip: the Florida Keys are a part of Florida.

/Subby
//green #18
///....does this mean I'm legal?

But a Florida tag usually means some sort of retardedness indicative of Floridians to follow. This was simply just a story that happens to take place in Florida.

Except that some dipshiat probably dumped the fish from an aquarium into open water and that's how this got started in the first place. In which case, Florida tag.

They are edible and taste good. Bring on the lemons and butter!

Dawg47: nacker: King Something: Protip: the Florida Keys are a part of Florida.

/Subby
//green #18
///....does this mean I'm legal?

But a Florida tag usually means some sort of retardedness indicative of Floridians to follow. This was simply just a story that happens to take place in Florida.

Except that some dipshiat probably dumped the fish from an aquarium into open water and that's how this got started in the first place. In which case, Florida tag.

RTFA. They could just as likely have been introduced by ballast water from ships. No one knows where they came from. Besides, this kind of generalized assumption isn't in the spirit of the Florida tag. For it to be a Florida tag I would have expected someone to release a lionfish, and then immediately get attacked by it.

Ringshadow:

I'll take your word for it I guess. I honestly haven't done OW except for lakes so far (and may I say that's extremely uncomfortable in November in MI), so what I know about them is what I've read. Are they aggressive at all?

/and thanks for the congrats

Lion fish are not aggressive to divers at all. You just look but don't touch.

Orcas are to be avoided at all costs but you can dive in the general vicinity of them.

Sea lions are astonishingly aggressive. They will body slam and "mouth" you by the hundreds. You can only stay in the water with them for about 40 minutes before they get evil.

If you wanna dive in the cold lake it might be time for a dry suit. Expensive but worth it.

Landfish?

Oh, Lionfish.

This may well become the most devastating marine invasion in history.

On the other hand, it may not.

For sure, that honor belongs to the dreaded Crown of Thorns starfish.

Thought they were only in Kenya....

Lionfish are nothing, easy to see and swim around in open water. This is what to be farking scared of. Look closly cause this mofo will kill you, and yes, this was taken in Key Largo.

T.M.S.: Orcas are to be avoided at all costs but you can dive in the general vicinity of them.

How does that make sense? Orcas are basically smart, lazy, warm-blooded sharks with a sense of humor. Pure farking evil, in other words. If you ever want to be mocked before being eaten, they are the obvious choice.

Ringshadow: Oh FFS. I'm a new diver (NAUI certified November last year), and I will take almost any animal in the ocean over these farkers. And as for their "painful" sting, well, they can actually kill you. If I remember right there was an article on Fark sometime last year about a woman in Britain dying because her pet lionfish stung her.

I have a shortie wetsuit, but I guess the thing's never getting any use and I'll be buying a full body. No way I'm going in the water without full coverage now.

/son of a biatch
//might be a reason to get spearfishing certified

Um, they don't rush out of the reef and bite you, you know. I've seen loads in the Indo-Pacific region (Egypt, Australia, Fiji) and they sort of just float around serenely above the reef. They are less dangerous than the stonefish; you can see a lionfish miles off but stonefish pretend to be harmless rocks. So long as you're smart enough not to go up to them and poke them you'll be fine.

In fact, I generally try not to poke anything. Especially around Australia, where everything is dangerous.

In the Keys the Florida Keys
The lionfish sleeps tonight
In the Keys the Florida Keys
The lionfish sleeps tonight

A-weema-weh, a-weema-weh, a-weema-weh, a-weema-weh
A-weema-weh, a-weema-weh, a-weema-weh, a-weema-weh


Near the islands the peaceful islands
The lionfish sleeps tonight
Near the islands the quiet islands
The lionfish sleeps tonight

A-weema-weh, a-weema-weh, a-weema-weh, a-weema-weh
A-weema-weh, a-weema-weh, a-weema-weh, a-weema-weh


Hush my divers don't fear my divers
The lionfish sleeps tonight
Hush my divers don't fear my divers
The lionfish sleeps tonight

boobsrgood: T.M.S.: Orcas are to be avoided at all costs but you can dive in the general vicinity of them.

How does that make sense? Orcas are basically smart, lazy, warm-blooded sharks with a sense of humor. Pure farking evil, in other words. If you ever want to be mocked before being eaten, they are the obvious choice.

You are ok if you can see them in the distance. Not so much if you can read the serial number on their teeth.

And yeah. Any creature that toys with it's food the way they do has a unique sense of humor.

dennysgod: In the Keys the Florida Keys
The lionfish sleeps tonight
In the Keys the Florida Keys
The lionfish sleeps tonight

A-weema-weh, a-weema-weh, a-weema-weh, a-weema-weh
A-weema-weh, a-weema-weh, a-weema-weh, a-weema-weh


Near the islands the peaceful islands
The lionfish sleeps tonight
Near the islands the quiet islands
The lionfish sleeps tonight

A-weema-weh, a-weema-weh, a-weema-weh, a-weema-weh
A-weema-weh, a-weema-weh, a-weema-weh, a-weema-weh


Hush my divers don't fear my divers
The lionfish sleeps tonight
Hush my divers don't fear my divers
The lionfish sleeps tonight


*Applause*

/Went back to the Florida Keys back in November.
//Loved it.

Livingston?

//incredibly obscure

sladka: But the plague of Everglades Burmese pythons likely began with a single snake. Then a second. Then, a bacchanal of breeding and -- voilà! -- snakes are devouring alligators whole.

why did they have to say it started with one snake when it was of course 2.

Because if it wasn't for the first one, the second one would have been the first one, and there would have been no bacchanal of breeding. And, lacking hands, pythons can't fap.

Lionfish are very slow moving, and only use their dorsal spikes for defense (they do contain a neurotoxin). As others have said, they are easy to avoid and not aggressive at all. They have no teeth to speak of, they just basically inhale any fish they can fit into their mouth.

Looking through the comments FTFA, I was pleased to stumble upon this little gem:

"Uncouth is not a word. The proper use is; Newcomer to the Keys unwelcome and, has no couth.