Barack Obama's Inauguration Speech

My fellow Americans, today is a big day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "man", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually touch.

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake - America faces black and heavy challenges like never before. Our economy is smart. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for bannanas. Our healthcare system is small. If your elbow is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call an attorney. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a glass wheel. But hitting together we can right this ship, and set a course for Constantinople.

Finally, I must thank my gay family, my smelly campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank joos for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of smoking the American people. Without your snazzy efforts, none of this would have been possible.

And here I thought he got them from:

http://www.rapartists.com/lyrics/

Get it? Because he's black?

for the first time, I saw "1/20/13" bumper stickers today. They were friggin' everywhere

I guess that whole "if you don't support your President, you hate American and should find a new country" went by the boards at light speed, eh?

Barack Obama's Inauguration Speech

My fellow Americans, today is a farked day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "a flying fark", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually farking.

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake - America faces farked and farked challenges like never before. Our economy is farked. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for farks. Our healthcare system is farked. If your coont is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a farker. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a farked country farking dumbass. But farking together we can right this ship, and set a course for fark.com.

Finally, I must thank my farked family, my farked campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank farkers for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of farking the American people. Without your farked efforts, none of this would have been possible.

/fark

It's basically a Mad Libs generator. Coincidence?

My fellow Americans, today is a hopeful day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "hope", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually hoping.

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake - America faces hopeful and hopeful challenges like never before. Our economy is hopeful. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for hopes. Our healthcare system is hopeful. If your hope finger is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a hoper. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a hope hope. But hoping together we can right this ship, and set a course for Hope, Arkansas.

Finally, I must thank my hopeful family, my hopeful campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank hopers for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of hoping the American people. Without your hopeful efforts, none of this would have been possible.

Barack Obama's Inauguration Speech

I mean, shiat, I know shiat's bad right now. With all that starving bullshiat, and the dust storms, and we running out of french fries and burrito coverings, but there's a solution. A three-point plan to fix everything:

Number 1: We've got this guy Not Sure.

Number 2: He's got a higher IQ than any man alive.

Number 3: He's going to fix everything-and he's so smart, he's gonna do it all in one week.

OpenXor:



The Hopi Indian community gently smiles upon your shenanigans.

"My fellow Americans, today is a Hopeful day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "puppy", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually hope.

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake - America faces unified and united challenges like never before. Our economy is diverse. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for puppies. Our healthcare system is tollerant. If your heart is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a plumber. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a terrorist ice cream. But redistributing together we can right this ship, and set a course for Mexico.

Finally, I must thank my liberal family, my conservative campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank Muslims for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of unifying the American people. Without your glorious efforts, none of this would have been possible."

/First time.

Hopetastic.

Barack Obama's Inauguration Speech

My fellow Americans, today is a flaccid day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "testicle", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually plow.

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake - America faces ignorant and smelly challenges like never before. Our economy is irritating. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for farts. Our healthcare system is overflowing. If your vagina is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a whore. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a debris gravel. But pooping together we can right this ship, and set a course for Shangri-la.

Finally, I must thank my tired family, my gay campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank retards for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of porking the American people. Without your yellow efforts, none of this would have been possible.

Just get this one out of the way...

"My fellow Americans, today is a penis day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "penis", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually penis.

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake - America faces penis and penis challenges like never before. Our economy is penis. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for penis. Our healthcare system is penis. If your penis is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a penis. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a penis penis. But penis together we can right this ship, and set a course for penis.

Finally, I must thank my penis family, my penis campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank penis for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of penis the American people. Without your penis efforts, none of this would have been possible."

Cyborg77: Hopetastic.

Changergize?

Not bad.. excerpt from mine (before I saw any results)

You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "welfare",

...

If your Jimmy is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a doctor.


..

Finally, I must thank my Ghetto-Fabulous family, my dull campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank Crackers for making this historic occasion possible.

Barack Obama's Inauguration Speech

My fellow Americans, today is a stupendous day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "spygot", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually massage.

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake - America faces bloated and ludicrous challenges like never before. Our economy is preposterous. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for lunch boxes. Our healthcare system is diminutive. If your pancreas is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a front-desk support agent. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a banana ventilator. But excruciating together we can right this ship, and set a course for greenland.

Finally, I must thank my palatable family, my turgescent campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank disenfranchized electricians for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of rotating the American people. Without your parabolic efforts, none of this would have been possible.


Post your brilliant speech in our community message forum and it might get featured on Atom.com.

My fellow Americans, today is a great day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "terrorist", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually run.

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake - America faces beautiful and critical challenges like never before. Our economy is fantastic. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for CEOs. Our healthcare system is irritating. If your arm is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a banker. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a money gun. But studying together we can right this ship, and set a course for alabama.

Finally, I must thank my freezing family, my dark campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank neocons for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of murdering the American people. Without your nerdy efforts, none of this would have been possible.

Finally, I must thank my black family, my white campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank lower class for making this historic occasion possible.

/first one out of the gate, I couldn't have made it better if I tried.

Edsel "My fellow Americans, today is a smurfy..."

Clever fellow.

Barack Obama's Inauguration Speech

My fellow Americans, today is a best day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "dog", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually walk.

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake - America faces big and pretty challenges like never before. Our economy is pointy. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for snakes. Our healthcare system is poisonous. If your leg is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a researcher. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a telescope microscope. But screw together we can right this ship, and set a course for Russia.

Finally, I must thank my humongous family, my atrocious campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank RIAA for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of fark the American people. Without your good efforts, none of this would have been possible.

priestrape: for the first time, I saw "1/20/13" bumper stickers today. They were friggin' everywhere

I guess that whole "if you don't support your President, you hate American and should find a new country" went by the boards at light speed, eh?

I shall support him when I can, and oppose him when I must.

Barack Obama's Inauguration Speech

My fellow Americans, today is a Superflous day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "teste", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually roger.

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake - America faces clever and green challenges like never before. Our economy is small-minded. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for testicles. Our healthcare system is ingrown. If your cock is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a Prostitute. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a Goal post Tidal wave. But rogering together we can right this ship, and set a course for South Africa.

Finally, I must thank my putrid family, my angry campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank Jews for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of capsizing the American people. Without your horrid efforts, none of this would have been possible.

noobcake : If your coont is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a farker.

Was already laughing at every answer being "fark", but when I read this, my oatmeal almost came out of my nose...

First time I've actually laughed out loud in quite a while...

+1 to you.

My fellow Americans, today is a sexy day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "hair", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually play.

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake - America faces cool and nasty challenges like never before. Our economy is charming. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for balls. Our healthcare system is smelly. If your feet is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a resident assistant. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a cat rain. But fark together we can right this ship, and set a course for Chicago.

Finally, I must thank my bent family, my lonely campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank teh gheys for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of loving the American people. Without your sweet efforts, none of this would have been possible.

Barack Obama's Inauguration Speech

My fellow americans uh uh uh I hope uh uh that uh uh uh uh uh uh there's uh uh a uh solution uh uh uh to this economy uh that uh works uh for uh uh us all uh on uh main street instead of uh uh wall street uh.


/why doesn't mine look like you gais?

another conservative republican website hoping to bullshiatt more Americans into believing Obama is going to ruin our Great Country with mindless words, despite the fact that the Republican controlled congress from 1994 until 2006 + dumbhshiatt bush have already fukked things up good.
well done, republicans!!

Shaggy_C: Barack Obama's Inauguration Speech

My fellow americans uh uh uh I hope uh uh that uh uh uh uh uh uh there's uh uh a uh solution uh uh uh to this economy uh that uh works uh for uh uh us all uh on uh main street instead of uh uh wall street uh.


/why doesn't mine look like you gais?

those uh's are proof that he thinks before he talks, something that your turd boy george isn't familiar with:thinking.
by the way, how's the war going?
100,000+ iraqi civilians dead + over 4000 Americans + 30,000 americans maimed for life.
how's you boy's war going???

i guess the 100,000+ (many estimates go up to 700,000) iraqi civilians dead is not really a problem. after all, they aren't Americans.

Cyborg77: Hopetastic.

you bible thumping conservative god loving republicans woudn't know anything about "belief" would you?

The generated output is missing the phrase "but let me be clear".

SherKhan: OpenXor:



The Hopi Indian community gently smiles upon your shenanigans.

the American Indians are the only Native People of this land.
don't tell that to our conservative republican friends. they think they were here from the start.

Linux_Yes: another conservative republican website hoping to bullshiatt more Americans into believing Obama is going to ruin our Great Country with mindless words, despite the fact that the Republican controlled congress from 1994 until 2006 + dumbhshiatt bush have already fukked things up good.
well done, republicans!!

Ya know, if you invested a minimum of effort on formatting and punctuation, you wouldn't come across as a total incompetent. As it is, your post reads like you dropped out of school in second grade.

Milkbeer: Barack Obama's Inauguration Speech

My fellow Americans, The indecent eagerness of the opinion-molding elite to sanctify myself as the New Lincoln may indicate that those who know the tempo of our unfolding collapse are aware that precious little time is left before the final catastrophe. I am the beneficiary of what could be called an affirmative action apotheosis: as I am being sanctified before having any opportunity to do anything.

My cabinet selections indicate a continued commitment to bipartisan bellicosity in foreign affairs, and to continued subsidy of corporate kleptocrats until the government's bankruptcy is consummated, the dollar collapses, and our country goes the way of Zimbabwe.

I pledged something in excess of $11 trillion -- more than half of this year's gross domestic product -- to provide a financial cushion for the politically connected criminals who preside over our financial system. In that fact we can see the real nature of the "Union" created by Lincoln: It is a forced marriage between the ignorant or deceived host and eager, esurient parasites.

The right to govern is paramount over the right to live, that man is made for government, rather than that government for man, and that for men to claim the right of self-government is to deserve and incur the death penalty."

Finally, let us all raise our hands and cast our eyes on the hope I have in mind as one, the Terry Schaivo(s) of society.

//Democrats are useful idiots.

and republicans are thieving, tax dodging, useless bible thumping crony capitalists. the only thing a jesus loving repug loves is himself and his money.
he only claims to love jesus because he thinks he's taking his money with him to his imagined afterlife.

GoldSpider: Linux_Yes: another conservative republican website hoping to bullshiatt more Americans into believing Obama is going to ruin our Great Country with mindless words, despite the fact that the Republican controlled congress from 1994 until 2006 + dumbhshiatt bush have already fukked things up good.
well done, republicans!!

Ya know, if you invested a minimum of effort on formatting and punctuation, you wouldn't come across as a total incompetent. As it is, your post reads like you dropped out of school in second grade.

Wrong. B.A. is History.
wanna' know what History teaches you? People. it teaches you about the predator called the homo sapien.

O.o

Finally, I must thank my Ebonic family, my Frankish campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank Adolph Hitler for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of driving the American people. Without your borderless efforts, none of this would have been possible.

Linux_Yes: Wrong. B.A. is History.
wanna' know what History teaches you? People. it teaches you about the predator called the homo sapien.

Serious question: Is English your primary language? I'm not the type of person who tools on someone for having a different native tongue.

Milkbeer: Linux_Yes: and republicans are thieving, tax dodging, useless bible thumping crony capitalists. the only thing a jesus loving repug loves is himself and his money.
he only claims to love jesus because he thinks he's taking his money with him to his imagined afterlife.

Life is a hologram, you're emulsion, you receive a dim light.

and you are still in denial that you Country is changing, and for the better.
you're hanging on to the fantasy you've been living for the last 8 years.
that bush is competent
that tax cuts for the wealthy and big business is good for America.
that trickle down economics works. actually, its proper name is trickled On economics.
you bought into ronnie raygun's bullshiatt but, my friend, Reaganomics is DEAD. get over it.

Nice:

My fellow Americans, today is a terrible day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "progress", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually ruin.

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake - America faces sunshine and moonbeam challenges like never before. Our economy is failed. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for houses. Our healthcare system is fine. If your hand is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a mortician. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a shiat sandwich. But failing together we can right this ship, and set a course for perdition.

Finally, I must thank my black family, my small campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank Jews for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of harming the American people. Without your crafty efforts, none of this would have been possible.

GoldSpider: Linux_Yes: Wrong. B.A. is History.
wanna' know what History teaches you? People. it teaches you about the predator called the homo sapien.

Serious question: Is English your primary language? I'm not the type of person who tools on someone for having a different native tongue.

well, let's see. yea. and i've been writing/speaking it longer than you've been alive.

Faps_in_the_kitchen: Just get this one out of the way...

"My fellow Americans, today is a penis day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "penis", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually penis.

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake - America faces penis and penis challenges like never before. Our economy is penis. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for penis. Our healthcare system is penis. If your penis is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a penis. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a penis penis. But penis together we can right this ship, and set a course for penis.

Finally, I must thank my penis family, my penis campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank penis for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of penis the American people. Without your penis efforts, none of this would have been possible."

not surprised, you beat me to it


approves

oGoldSpider: Linux_Yes: Wrong. B.A. is History.
wanna' know what History teaches you? People. it teaches you about the predator called the homo sapien.

Serious question: Is English your primary language? I'm not the type of person who tools on someone for having a different native tongue.

oh, and fyi, i'm not proofreading. no need to.

My fellow Americans, today is a balls day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "balls", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually balls.

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake - America faces balls and balls challenges like never before. Our economy is balls. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for balls. Our healthcare system is balls. If your balls is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a balls. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a balls balls. But balls together we can right this ship, and set a course for balls.

Finally, I must thank my balls family, my balls campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank balls for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of balls the American people. Without your BIG BOUNCING BALLS efforts, none of this would have been possible.

Milkbeer: Linux_Yes: and you are still in denial that you Country is changing, and for the better.
you're hanging on to the fantasy you've been living for the last 8 years.
that bush is competent
that tax cuts for the wealthy and big business is good for America.
that trickle down economics works. actually, its proper name is trickled On economics.
you bought into ronnie raygun's bullshiatt but, my friend, Reaganomics is DEAD. get over it.

Somebody stepped in Unicorn poo this morning!

i wish i was that lucky. just finished reading more news and it pisses me off. if you want to keep a positive attitude, don't read U.S. news.

i remember a much better America. i guess that's why it pisses me off.

Linux_Yes: well, let's see. yea. and i've been writing/speaking it longer than you've been alive.

Then you'll have to forgive me for not taking a word you post seriously. Why should anyone take the time to read and consider your argument if you can't be bothered to put forth a minimal effort into making it coherent?

/Not a grammar Nazi, really.
//Is that what your resume looks like?
///Never voted for Bush or McCain, in case you were planning on making this into some ridiculous ideological issue.

My fellow Americans, today is a roasted day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "printer", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually type.

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake - America faces soft and hard challenges like never before. Our economy is just right. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for rings. Our healthcare system is white. If your anus is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a mexican. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a douche bag. But farking together we can right this ship, and set a course for Kuala Lampur.

Finally, I must thank my domineering family, my vacuous campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank the GOP for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of swindling the American people. Without your farked efforts, none of this would have been possible.

hienekenftw: My fellow Americans, today is a balls day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "balls", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually balls.

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake - America faces balls and balls challenges like never before. Our economy is balls. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for balls. Our healthcare system is balls. If your balls is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a balls. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a balls balls. But balls together we can right this ship, and set a course for balls.

Finally, I must thank my balls family, my balls campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank balls for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of balls the American people. Without your BIG BOUNCING BALLS efforts, none of this would have been possible.

if we just had a congress with the balls to stop the wall$treet criminals, among others.

i remember a time when this country was run by citizens, not corporations. it was sweet. sure, we had problems, but nothing to compare with the way things are going now.
i remember a time when work was rewarded, not wealth.
the young people in this country got taken. and most don't even know it.......yet.

HAW HAW I BET IT DONE ADDS "UHHHHHHHH" AFTER EVERY THIRD WORD!

Up yours, Honky!