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(News.com.au) Hero If you saw your cousin being attacked by a shark, would you have the balls to paddle out to it on a surfboard and punch it in the nose? If you answered yes, you might be an Australian   (news.com.au) divider line 62
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God Is My Co-Pirate 2009-01-11 08:25:04 AM  
If it was my hot cousin, sure.

 
parkerlewis 2009-01-11 08:35:20 AM  
If it was God Is My Co-Pirate's hot cousin, sure.

 
GungFu 2009-01-11 08:38:47 AM  
If the cousin was hot I'd bite her on her ass...and leave teeth marks too.

 
D-Sizzle 2009-01-11 08:40:33 AM  
I'd shoot it with a freakin' twelve gauge, what would you do in a situation like that?

 
DeRosso 2009-01-11 08:40:59 AM  
meh...I believe in survival of the fittest

/And I don't like my cousins

 
snuff3r [TotalFark] 2009-01-11 08:42:14 AM  
D-Sizzle: I'd shoot it with a freakin' twelve gauge, what would you do in a situation like that?

Australia: Punch it in the face
US: Shoot it in the face

/What would the Polish do?

 
chixdiggit [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-01-11 08:43:51 AM  
I'd hit on the shark, thus creating a socially awkward situation in which it thinks I'm a pervert and swims away.

 
DeRosso 2009-01-11 08:45:36 AM  
snuff3r: D-Sizzle: I'd shoot it with a freakin' twelve gauge, what would you do in a situation like that?

Australia: Punch it in the face
US: Shoot it in the face

/What would the Polish do?


I'm pretty sure they'd steal the shark's teeth while a third family member distracts it

 
GungFu 2009-01-11 08:45:44 AM  
snuff3r: /What would the Polish do?


Tile your bathroom and build a patio?

 
remus 2009-01-11 08:45:48 AM  
Australia: Man swims out to attack shark in open ocean and save Cousin

Arkansas: Man marries Cousin, moves into trailer park, has seven kids with her.

 
colatf [TotalFark] 2009-01-11 08:45:58 AM  
I'm not close with my cousins, and I am essentially a land mammal, but I'd sure as hell yell advice.

 
luthia 2009-01-11 08:49:36 AM  
colatf: I'm not close with my cousins, and I am essentially a land mammal, but I'd sure as hell yell advice.

"No No NO! paddle left, now right. come on now, you look like you want to be eaten!"

 
Bring-out-your-dead 2009-01-11 08:52:13 AM  
I like my cousin. I'd never punch him in the nose.

 
Mr. Crankypants 2009-01-11 08:52:27 AM  
That picture of the shark bite was a little much for me before breakfast.

/Now I'm hungry for ham.

 
ramblin 2009-01-11 08:55:33 AM  
"She was really clam, she was brave, probably in a little bit of shock. There was no tears," he said.

I'd be clam I guess if I got bit. (Pulls shell tightly closed)

 
Whytie 2009-01-11 08:55:53 AM  
people look after their cousins in Tasmania....just saying

 
remus 2009-01-11 08:55:55 AM  
luthia: colatf: I'm not close with my cousins, and I am essentially a land mammal, but I'd sure as hell yell advice.

"No No NO! paddle left, now right. come on now, you look like you want to be eaten!"


I was picturing a typical farker: A A B B Up UP LEFT LEFT! Now, hit the RIGHT button four times!!! Quick!

 
tkir 2009-01-11 08:56:23 AM  
(Graphic photo of injury on the right)

What a stupid warning, since most people (myself included) will have seen the image first.

Ouch!

 
castufari 2009-01-11 08:56:41 AM  
I'd paddle over to the spongers and let them deal with it.

 
Its_A_Tarp 2009-01-11 08:59:24 AM  
snuff3r: D-Sizzle: I'd shoot it with a freakin' twelve gauge, what would you do in a situation like that?

Australia: Punch it in the face
US: Shoot it in the face

/What would the Polish do?


Throw a grenade in its face?

 
mamoru [TotalFark] 2009-01-11 09:00:51 AM  
snuff3r: D-Sizzle: I'd shoot it with a freakin' twelve gauge, what would you do in a situation like that?

Australia: Punch it in the face
US: Shoot it in the face

/What would the Polish do?


I'm not sure, but rumor has it that, in a certain former communist country, the shark would then paddle in to you on a surfboard...

 
colatf [TotalFark] 2009-01-11 09:02:24 AM  
luthia: colatf: I'm not close with my cousins, and I am essentially a land mammal, but I'd sure as hell yell advice.

"No No NO! paddle left, now right. come on now, you look like you want to be eaten!"


"Pee! No, wait, act like a bigger shark! Play dead! Deader! Make dolphin noises!"

 
snoproblem 2009-01-11 09:03:23 AM  
Wow, my eyes are playing tricks, I thought I saw little music notes around the headline as if it were intended to be sung.


/ eyes coffee cup suspiciously, sniffs it

 
littleray42 2009-01-11 09:05:08 AM  
1.bp.blogspot.com

Had to/

 
qrb912 [TotalFark] 2009-01-11 09:07:12 AM  
I am suprised the sound of his brass balls clanging together did not scare the shark off!

www.hitchcorner.com

\some like it hotlinked

 
farfigneugan [TotalFark] 2009-01-11 09:08:01 AM  
D-Sizzle: I'd shoot it with a freakin' twelve gauge, what would you do in a situation like that?

They're not wolverines. They're friggin sharks, man!

 
0Icky0 2009-01-11 09:14:59 AM  
My hot cousin, or my fat, ugly Jehova's Witness cousin?

 
I read fark for the pics 2009-01-11 09:21:11 AM  
My gf went to Australia for a month.. she is there now.. I told her to punch a kangaroo in the face for me. She won't :(

 
Farking Zardwarks 2009-01-11 09:21:46 AM  
Dude, I'd totally swim out and start yelling at the shark, and calling it a beyotch and pushing it, and it could push me and yell at me and then a big crowd would form and then the girls would come in and break it up before any punches were thrown.

/worked in high school

 
scamp-dun-emer 2009-01-11 09:26:09 AM  
Farking Zardwarks: Dude, I'd totally swim out and start yelling at the shark, and calling it a beyotch and pushing it, and it could push me and yell at me and then a big crowd would form and then the girls would come in and break it up before any punches were thrown.

/worked in high school


Sounds like there's be a full-blown musical number involved ...

 
luthia 2009-01-11 09:28:05 AM  
Thats pretty metal.

tvmedia.ign.com
but not this metal.

 
tonesskin [TotalFark] 2009-01-11 09:29:57 AM  
Wow, you must have a pretty sad and pathetic life if you think only Australians would do that shiat. Hell, even the French may.

/not the Danish, though

 
Goimir [TotalFark] 2009-01-11 09:30:48 AM  
Can we please stop this meme? It's really getting to be too much.

 
globalwarmingpraiser [TotalFark] 2009-01-11 09:32:58 AM  
I read fark for the pics: My gf went to Australia for a month.. she is there now.. I told her to punch a kangaroo in the face for me. She won't :(

You are sleeping with her hot friend, there by destroying both of her closest relationships. If not you should.

 
mathmonkey 2009-01-11 09:33:28 AM  
Farking Zardwarks: Dude, I'd totally swim out and start yelling at the shark, and calling it a beyotch and pushing it, and it could push me and yell at me and then a big crowd would form and then the girls would come in and break it up before any punches were thrown.

/worked in high school


It's human nature.

 
glacierexpress 2009-01-11 09:36:32 AM  
Ya, that is actually pretty hardcore. Good for him.

 
RubyRed [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-01-11 09:37:12 AM  
The guy who punched the shark to save his dog was WAY more hardcore.

 
Yoda's Pen Is 2009-01-11 09:38:04 AM  
snuff3r: D-Sizzle: I'd shoot it with a freakin' twelve gauge, what would you do in a situation like that?

Australia: Punch it in the face
US: Shoot it in the face

/What would the Polish do?


Drown on the way out?

 
Farking Zardwarks 2009-01-11 09:44:42 AM  
scamp-dun-emer:
Sounds like there's be a full-blown musical number involved ...


When you're a jet, you're a jet 'til the end.

/snap
//slashie

 
peon36 2009-01-11 09:47:31 AM  
D-Sizzle: I'd shoot it with a freakin' twelve gauge, what would you do in a situation like that?

Yeah, because I never go to the beach without a firearm.

/what goes better with my blue speedo, the winchester or my .38?
//ass

 
Farking Zardwarks 2009-01-11 09:51:41 AM  
peon36: D-Sizzle: I'd shoot it with a freakin' twelve gauge, what would you do in a situation like that?

Yeah, because I never go to the beach without a firearm.

/what goes better with my blue speedo, the winchester or my .38?
//ass


I keep my firearm IN my speedo.

/HEY-O!
//it's a Dillinger
/// :(

 
remus 2009-01-11 09:52:09 AM  
www.hickpolitics.com

// obvious solution to a shark problem, call the Jets
// hotlinked like a dirty NY gang

 
Farking Zardwarks 2009-01-11 09:55:26 AM  
remus: // obvious solution to a shark problem, call the Jets
// hotlinked like a dirty NY gang


Looks like a fight btwn lawyers and insurance salesmen.

 
remus 2009-01-11 09:56:58 AM  
Farking Zardwarks: Looks like a fight btwn lawyers and insurance salesmen.

Yes, but the are faaaabulous at dance routines and show tunes.

 
DeRosso 2009-01-11 10:08:47 AM  
tonesskin: Wow, you must have a pretty sad and pathetic life if you think only Australians would do that shiat. Hell, even the French may.

/not the Danish, though


You got that right - we only have sharks of about 1 m in length.

Btw, one of the best forms of entertainment on our west coast is to watch the almost ritual suicide by German tourists that have no concept of the word 'undertow'

 
SecretAgentWoman 2009-01-11 10:10:33 AM  
Farking Zardwarks: r

Looks like a fight btwn lawyers and insurance salesmen.


My money is on the lawyers/Jets.

 
ZurkisPhreek 2009-01-11 10:23:44 AM  
DeRosso: tonesskin: Wow, you must have a pretty sad and pathetic life if you think only Australians would do that shiat. Hell, even the French may.

/not the Danish, though

You got that right - we only have sharks of about 1 m in length.

Btw, one of the best forms of entertainment on our west coast is to watch the almost ritual suicide by German tourists that have no concept of the word 'undertow'


They've grown to 1m now?

But yeah, it's pretty fun to see the Germans exiting the water, wondering where the hell they are, cause they only swam 50m straight out, they should be right where they thought!
Usually, they and up about a mile down the coast, some of them get Darwin'ed and end up clogging the veins of various innocent litle sea critters.

/in Denmark, you eat shark
//and it's yummy!

 
wilde_at_heart 2009-01-11 10:32:04 AM  
qrb912 I knew someone would post those. I came here to argue that since there are tags to reflect different degrees of stupidity, there should be at least one tag for the one beyond hero.

There should be a 'brass balls' tag.

 
SwallowTheKnife 2009-01-11 10:42:23 AM  
fta:NSW shark attack

I, for one, would like to see a SFW shark attack.

 
eraser8 2009-01-11 10:46:13 AM  
december: what a shark attack may look like

Exactly. People are not delicious.

 
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