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(Reading Chronicle) Scary You may think your Saturday sucked, but at least you weren't run through with a manure-stained pitchfork by a teenage girl   (readingchronicle.co.uk) divider line 58
More: Scary  
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17579 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Jan 2009 at 7:16 AM   |  Make this a Fark FavoriteFavorite    |   share: Share on OMGTWITTER WEB2.0share on StumbleUponshare on Facebook  more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!

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Bill_Wick's_Friend 2009-01-11 02:38:03 AM  
Never forget your safe word.

/the moral of the story

 
dbirchall [TotalFark] 2009-01-11 02:55:37 AM  
PoopStain: The sexual possibilities for this story were fantastic based on the headline.

You would say that, wouldn't you, PoopStain...

 
Sgygus [TotalFark] 2009-01-11 03:12:30 AM  
Speak for yourself, submitter.

/GD ERs are expensive

 
NeauxFear [TotalFark] 2009-01-11 03:19:44 AM  
Heh. My wife, the graveyard shift ER nurse, saw a few patients the other night who had gotten into a fight.

The combatants being somewhat new to this country, and being of the landscaper persuasion, they fought with the weapons they had in the truck. Shovels, pitchforks, garden rakes.

You know, the usual.

 
Sgygus [TotalFark] 2009-01-11 03:47:14 AM  
So much for medical confidentiality, NeauxFear. Thanks (not) for blabbing.

 
Stompn_Tom [TotalFark] 2009-01-11 04:11:59 AM  
Bill_Wick's_Friend: Never forget your safe word.

/the moral of the story


Marmalade

 
phrawgh 2009-01-11 07:22:32 AM  
Bill_Wick's_Friend: Never forget your safe word.

/the moral of the story


shaudenfreud

 
MaxxLarge [TotalFark] 2009-01-11 07:23:44 AM  
PoopStain: The sexual possibilities for this story were fantastic based on the headline.

Moreso by the story itself.

FTA: "The girls were forking through a big pile of hay"

/giggity

 
gruntmints 2009-01-11 07:23:58 AM  
Sgygus: So much for medical confidentiality, NeauxFear. Thanks (not) for blabbing.

I see no names, locations, dates, ages, specifics listed in his post. Where's the confidentiality issue here?

 
tweek46420 2009-01-11 07:26:20 AM  
boy what a crappy predicament

 
Commander Lysdexic 2009-01-11 07:27:17 AM  
"He was with a couple of girls, they were all there riding together. The girls were forking through a big pile of hay and manure and one of them apparently turned and stabbed him though the arm with a pitchfork."

Ok, so he and sme girls were riding together followed by some forking in the hay, go on....

 
chaddsfarkprefect 2009-01-11 07:27:45 AM  
I was always a "catcher fork", which made gym awkward and showering painful.

 
SwiftFox [TotalFark] 2009-01-11 07:30:23 AM  
Sgygus img.fark.net
So much for medical confidentiality, NeauxFear. Thanks (not) for blabbing.

You think that the fact some people got in a fight is medically confidential?

Nah. If one of them responded to a tuberculin test given during the hospital visit it might be. If they were identified.

Or am I responding to the weakest troll I've seen in some time?

 
Lizsavage 2009-01-11 07:37:36 AM  
This is why we use plastic forks in the states.

/on my way to go pick up horse shiat
//damn its cold out.
/// Riding tomorrow.

 
AbbeySomeone 2009-01-11 07:37:41 AM  
chaddsfarkprefect: I was always a "catcher fork", which made gym awkward and showering painful.

I'm not sure if it's sleep deprivation, or that box of wine that I'm clutching, but your post made me laugh. Damn.

 
Mr. Crankypants 2009-01-11 07:39:45 AM  
As someone who has been stabbed with a pitchfork, I'm really getting a kick out of these replies.

/it was in my foot. I pulled the pitchfork out, rinsed off and went back to work.

 
you smell something 2009-01-11 07:41:40 AM  
sgygus. omg. you could identify your family from that little blurb? not a privacy issue.

 
Man in the Yellow GT Hat 2009-01-11 07:47:39 AM  
Commander Lysdexic: "He was with a couple of girls, they were all there riding together. The girls were forking through a big pile of hay and manure and one of them apparently turned and stabbed him though the arm with a pitchfork."

Ok, so he and sme girls were riding together followed by some forking in the hay, go on....


And then...he fixes the stable?

 
Nick Nostril 2009-01-11 07:49:10 AM  
img83.imageshack.us

 
Martin The Mess 2009-01-11 07:49:28 AM  
img98.imageshack.us
Wanted for questioning?

/This is where the fish lives
//Those walnuts are tearing through the hay!
///Please someone tell me this isn't too obscure for FARK...it can't possibly be...

 
bass555 2009-01-11 07:51:15 AM  
Man in the Yellow GT Hat

Don't be fatuous...

 
LowbrowDeluxe 2009-01-11 07:57:21 AM  
Sgygus: So much for medical confidentiality, NeauxFear. Thanks (not) for blabbing.

I'm declaring Sgygus winner of this thread by Technical Sarcasm Knockout. Ding Ding Ding.

 
frinetik 2009-01-11 08:14:13 AM  
Martin the Mess: That's where the fish lives.

 
Sgygus [TotalFark] 2009-01-11 08:18:10 AM  
SwiftFox: Or am I responding to the weakest troll I've seen in some time?

Responding to a weak joke is what you are doing. I was using NeauxFear's comment in juxtaposition to mine just before his to make my pitchfork comment seem real.

LowbrowDeluxe (and others I expect) saw right through it.

 
Mr. Right 2009-01-11 08:20:30 AM  
Am I the only one who thinks this brave lad may have been hassling the girls and one of them decided he was having trouble understanding the meaning of NO?

 
MadAzza [TotalFark] 2009-01-11 08:20:32 AM  
you smell something: sgygus. omg. you could identify your family from that little blurb? not a privacy issue.

My god. Are this many people really this thick?

FWIW, sgygus, I thought it was funny.

 
Man in the Yellow GT Hat 2009-01-11 08:23:57 AM  
Sgygus: Thanks (not) for blabbing.

So did you have the pitchfork, or the shovel? If you went for the rake (unless it's a dethacher), you chose...poorly.

 
Brown Sauce 2009-01-11 08:28:49 AM  
Approves.
i.rollingstone.com

 
crouchingturbo 2009-01-11 08:28:56 AM  
Martin the Mess: /This is where the fish lives

This is where my tongue lives... Classic, possibly my favorite episode ever.

/crouching "no sheds" turbo

 
Dafodude [TotalFark] 2009-01-11 08:31:34 AM  
This guy was hanging out with members of the opposite sex.

I still lay claim to the sucky weekend. So there.

 
Snoogit 2009-01-11 08:38:50 AM  
also, poop

i86.photobucket.com

 
spasemunki 2009-01-11 08:41:52 AM  
firefighter Barry Whiting said: "We were very proud of him, he was a very good lad. He was in an awful lot of pain but he gritted his teeth and got through it. He was a bit of a hero."


Staying still and calm while a doc works on you, when your mother is there, does not constitute being a hero. In fact, that's actually the dictionary definition of "being a big boy for the nice man".

 
Colonel_Colin_Campbell 2009-01-11 08:42:38 AM  
NeauxFear: being of the landscaper persuasion


I like that euphemism, why didn't I think of it?


/nope, I'm not racist at all
//yep, I'm good at lying to myself

 
Malachilenomade 2009-01-11 08:43:08 AM  
Martin The Mess: Wanted for questioning?

/This is where the fish lives
//Those walnuts are tearing through the hay!
///Please someone tell me this isn't too obscure for FARK...it can't possibly be...


Nothing is too obscure on fark.

/ZAH!

 
Control_this [TotalFark] 2009-01-11 08:43:29 AM  
The prick got pricked.

 
Mugato [TotalFark] 2009-01-11 08:44:23 AM  
Martin The Mess: ///Please someone tell me this isn't too obscure for FARK...it can't possibly be...

Peanut farmer: "Try some of my cider, I put my own peanuts in it."
Crow: "Oh I hope he said 'peanuts'."

 
scamp-dun-emer 2009-01-11 08:45:17 AM  
MadAzza: FWIW, Sgygus, I thought it was funny.

I'm with MadAzza.

Also, I'd have stopped at "He was with a couple of girls, they were all there riding together" and been perfectly happy.

 
Roy_G_Biv 2009-01-11 09:06:38 AM  
Mr. Right: Am I the only one who thinks this brave lad may have been hassling the girls and one of them decided he was having trouble understanding the meaning of NO?

No, I assumed that (or that the girl was just a psycho) when I read the headline. Then the wife semi-patiently explained that that sort of thing is not an uncommon accident on a farm, and that she's witnessed close calls with her brothers.

 
dna_level_c [TotalFark] 2009-01-11 09:07:14 AM  
this isn't too obscure for FARK...

Creepy Girl, my Creepy Girl...

/She was pretty hot...

 
celery_stalker 2009-01-11 09:07:41 AM  
wanted for questioning
content8.flixster.com

 
binaryblue82 [TotalFark] 2009-01-11 09:20:47 AM  
So he got farked in the hay with two girls???

Some of you farkers have been dreaming about this situation all your lives...


... oh... forked... eh, he'll get over the rejection...

 
LarryDan43 2009-01-11 09:21:28 AM  
Anyone remember the text based C-64 game, Farmer's Daughter?

"Turn on radio"

 
Schadenfreude ist die schoenste Freude [TotalFark] 2009-01-11 09:31:21 AM  
Snoogit: also, poop

Now taking bets on when that gets baleeted....

 
Suede head 2009-01-11 09:34:08 AM  
"Tis but a scratch".

 
Lamune_Baba 2009-01-11 09:37:44 AM  
www.bloodygoodhorror.com

 
Roy_G_Biv 2009-01-11 09:59:25 AM  
Is anyone else kind of surprised that the Nanny State hasn't banned pitchforks yet?

/Rushes to patent the Pitchspork™

 
Malinki 2009-01-11 10:02:29 AM  
Bill_Wick's_Friend: Never forget your safe word.

/the moral of the story


Cromulent

 
Magorn 2009-01-11 10:09:56 AM  
I think this boy is now entitled to a year's supply of "apology BJs" from one or possibly both girls

 
t3knomanser 2009-01-11 10:21:31 AM  
Martin The Mess: /This is where the fish lives
//Those walnuts are tearing through the hay!
///Please someone tell me this isn't too obscure for FARK...it can't possibly be...


My favorite part is the fact that the lead redneck in the flashback sequences was the same actor who played the abusive redneck in The Giant Spider Invasion. What a thing to get typecast as.

 
NYZooMan 2009-01-11 10:22:46 AM  
He added: "He was with a couple of girls, they were all there riding together. The girls were forking through a big pile of hay and manure and one of them apparently turned and stabbed him though the arm with a pitchfork.

Though they hide it well, girls rarely do anything by accident.

 
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