He's all about the kids.

Oh...wait

Back in the day, I used to think Sëxx Offenderz would be a good name for a hair metal band.

He says he plans to use the money to buy a home and to improve his life,

I hope he doesn't try to buy that home, well, anywhere.

Now that his picture's in the paper, I have a feeling his hard times aren't over yet.

There is a god and he has a funny sense of humor.

You keep puttin' it in, and someday you'll get it back out.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

*breaths*

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

"he plans to use the money to buy a home "

Silly bugger, 500k's not enough to buy neverland ranch!

There will be lawyers.

He can adopt a few orphans with the winnings.

Unless there was a prohibition on gambling in his release, there isn't anything they can do to keep him from getting the money.

So ironic, you could melt it down into a circle and have a ferrous wheel.

Where's the free candy van when you need it?

This poor man is being persecuted, just for his differing views on child-rearing...

To help them what? Out of their clothes?

Hi, I'm here on behalf of the Irony Police.

Keep up the good work. Carry on!

Times like this make me think that there must be a god

...and he's got a sick sense of humor.

\I wonder what his Fark handle is

The Grinch 2009-01-10 10:54:25 PM So ironic, you could melt it down into a circle and have a ferrous wheel.
===========================

Um... riiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.

Playinodds: There is a god and he has a funny sense of humor.

I dont want to start any blasphemous rumours
But I think that gods got a sick sense of humor
And when I die I expect to find him laughing

IXI Jim IXI: This poor man is being persecuted, just for his differing views on child-rearing...

Ahh yes, I see that, yes I do.
clap-clap

IXI Jim IXI: This poor man is being persecuted, just for his differing views on child-rearing...

LOL, so that's what he did.
Dirty bugger buggerer.

What species of sex offender is this?

I mean, peeing outdoors is enough to make you a sex offender these days. That makes every boy who's ever been outside guilty at least once. Most girls too. In fact, let's just lock up everyone who ISN'T guilty of peeing indoors to protect them.

At least he didn't say he was going to spend the money on a new van and a crapload of candy.

Since sex offenders themselves were typically molested as children, I guess the raffle probably worked as planned.

Just saying...

IXI Jim IXI: This poor man is being persecuted, just for his differing views on child-rearing...

I think you meant IN child-rearing.

jake3988: The Grinch 2009-01-10 10:54:25 PM So ironic, you could melt it down into a circle and have a ferrous wheel.
===========================

Um... riiiiiiiiiiiiiiight

I assume he was making a pun, not a typo.

Link (new window)

I8B4U: "he plans to use the money to buy a home "

Silly bugger, 500k's not enough to buy neverland ranch!

It might be. It's like twenty years old--Michael Jackson lost all interest in it five years ago.

doglover: What species of sex offender is this?

FTFA- "Alec Ahsoak of Anchorage was convicted of sexual abuse of a minor twice in 1993 and once in 2000"

The Grinch: So ironic, you could melt it down into a circle and have a ferrous wheel.

That was pretty good. Are you sure you aren't a child molester?

doglover: What species of sex offender is this?

I'm gonna guess homo erectus.

Funny, especially if he hasn't been sued civilly yet.

Dude, take this opportunity to move to Europe. You can bang kids in a bunch of different countries there legally.

Ages of consent in Europe (pops your cherry and a new window)

Wait, felons can't get passsports can they?

Nevermind.

Three convictions for child rape? This guy should've been killed and summarily incinerated years ago.

That is like rain on your wedding day.

Con_Authority: doglover: What species of sex offender is this?

FTFA- "Alec Ahsoak of Anchorage was convicted of sexual abuse of a minor twice in 1993 and once in 2000"

Now that IS irony.

Argument for chemical castration...

This is what happens when god gets distracted, quit distracting god.

tiamet4: Times like this make me think that there must be a god

...and he's got a sick sense of humor.

\I wonder what his Fark handle is

Hey, how's it going?

It could have been worse, he could have donated the winnings to NAMBLA.

washburnmb4: tiamet4: Times like this make me think that there must be a god

...and he's got a sick sense of humor.

\I wonder what his Fark handle is

Hey, how's it going?

Oh sweet, I was looking for you. What's the deal with all the evil in the world?


PS Can I win the lottery?

40oz_A_Knight: Three convictions for child rape? This guy should've been killed and summarily incinerated years ago.

No, not rape.

Peeing outdoors can make you a sex offender.

pff.t..pfftt.....hhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhahhhh!!!! ahhoahfoalakdofajpwdkfjapwokdfj

DaShredda: 40oz_A_Knight: Three convictions for child rape? This guy should've been killed and summarily incinerated years ago.

No, not rape.

Peeing outdoors can make you a sex offender.

I'm assuming "three counts of sexual abuse of a minor" doesn't actually mean "peeing outside."
Just a hunch, though.

Alec Ahsoak of Anchorage was convicted of sexual abuse of a minor twice in 1993 and once in 2000,

at least next time, he'll be able to afford a good lawyer

reveal101: washburnmb4: tiamet4: Times like this make me think that there must be a god

...and he's got a sick sense of humor.

\I wonder what his Fark handle is

Hey, how's it going?

Oh sweet, I was looking for you. What's the deal with all the evil in the world?


PS Can I win the lottery?

Yeah, uh, about all that stuff... I kinda thought you guys could handle it, so I just went on vacation for a couple thousand years after planting all those dinosaur bones. (By the way, you guys are really gullible.) Anyway, I left the kid in charge, and he managed to lose the owner's manual for all of this stuff at some party. Kid tried to tell me he was dead for three days, can you believe that? We've been trying to figure it all out ever since.

PS You would have won this one if you had actually played it.

stryker4526: I'm assuming "three counts of sexual abuse of a minor" doesn't actually mean "peeing outside."
Just a hunch, though.

It could very well mean he had sex with a 17 year old.

Meh. When everyone and their pervy uncle can get painted with the "sex offender" brush, it fails to hold any meaning. I hope this guy enjoys his money; after all the crap sex offenders get, he probably needs it.

Nimnom: stryker4526: I'm assuming "three counts of sexual abuse of a minor" doesn't actually mean "peeing outside."
Just a hunch, though.

It could very well mean he had sex with a 17 year old.

Someone must've had a vendetta against him if that were the case, as they don't usually prosecute people who 17 year olds have consensual sex with.