my head hurts

Take my hand, we'll make it down stairs
Whoaaa-ohhh, livin' in a chair

Take your spine, and we'll break it I swear!
Whoaaa-ohhh, livin' in a chaiiiir!

Generalization #1: Bon Jovi fans are asshats.

_{/mostly true}

momma always said bon jovi was the devil's music.

But are his balls OK?

talulahgosh: momma always said bon jovi was the devil's music.

Your momma's right. Only Satan himself could create music that crappy.

PoopStain: There are so many bad puns in that article that I want to stab someone.

Glad it wasn't just me. Never made it to the part where the poor schmuck got injured.

the only thing that sucks ass more than bon jovi is a bon jovi fan.

Just sign here, we'll file suit down there
Whoaaa-ohhh, livin' in a chaiiiir!

/nuthin'

watch from 2:17
well, watch all of it really

I Like Bread: But are his balls OK?

oh damn it i didn't even see this
well played

Oh wow. Coming back from Christmas, my wife and I were coming up with lyrics for "livin' on a pear." For like an hour.

"The Chinese cop says your going to jair...

... Whoooahh, livin' on a pear"

That was after we had used up all the words that rhymed with pear.

Caution: Slippery When Wet.May break neck.

My spine is beyond repair
Whooa-oaa, livin' in a chair

♪ Whooaah, we're halfway there ♬ Whooaa-oooh, livin' with a bear. ♬ Take my hand OH MY GOD AAHHHHH

/Grizzly man version

♪ Whoaaaah, it's they're not their
Whoaaah-oooh, grammar-nazi herr ♪

At first I thought this article was insensitive.

Then I realized it was written by a retarded person and thus it would be insensitive for me NOT to read it.

Ben your macaroni portrait of Santa is still on my fridge!

i made it halfway through and didnt give a shiat anymore

skribble: i made it halfway through and didnt give a shiat anymore

Summary:
- Now-paraplegic guy and his girlfriend went to Bon Jovi concert in Alberta
- A fight broke out between the people in the two rows behind him, because they were drunk douchebags and Bon Jovi causes flailing rage.
- One of them fell on the now-paraplegic guy, breaking his neck. The article provides no details as to neck-breaker's girth and weight but he was probably hefty.
- Now-paraplegic guy will never even be able to cough again, so he's suing everyone, including Bon Jovi and the cops. Since the province of Alberta is paying his medical costs (universal health care) they're in on the legal action too. Although it seems on the surface that it really isn't Bon Jovi's fault, keep in mind that this guy is never going to be able to move anything south of his neck again, so can you really blame him?
- The article's author will probably be disciplined by his employer once a disabled lobbying group realizes he mocked a man's horrible injury with an article full of Bon Jovi song puns.

Two drunks fighting.

Nothing at all to do with Bon Jovi,rock concerts,security...etc...

If you are drunk and get into a fight with another drunk you are at risk and nobody can be blamed period.

Too bad.

The end.

...Ooooppppssss.

Sorry.

Didn't completely RTFA. (very poorly written btw)

One of the drunks landed on the dude that is now crippled.

I still say this has NOTHING to do with Bon Jovi or the promoters etc. but the dumb drunks are totally responsible.

On a steel chair I ride

craigdamage: ...Ooooppppssss.

Sorry.

Didn't completely RTFA. (very poorly written btw)

One of the drunks landed on the dude that is now crippled.

I still say this has NOTHING to do with Bon Jovi or the promoters etc. but the dumb drunks are totally responsible.

But he can't sue the dumb drunks for seven million, even if they are responsible. This is just proof that we Canadians are becoming Americanized in our thinking. Regardless of the reality of a situation like this one, people will make an argument blaming whoever has the most cash.

JerkyMeat: the only thing that sucks ass more than bon jovi is a bon jovi fan.

bon jovi haters are pretty high on the list as well. Although I guess they technically "blow" ass.

First rule.

DON'T GO TO A BON JOVI CONCERT.

Saw the headline and thought Jon Bon Jovi was injured

Left disappointed

TheJerd2k5: watch from 2:17
well, watch all of it really

That is so wrong. I still laughed anyway because after all this is Fark.

bobbette

I laughed hard. Well done!

craigdamage: ...Ooooppppssss.

Sorry.

Didn't completely RTFA. (very poorly written btw)

One of the drunks landed on the dude that is now crippled.

I still say this has NOTHING to do with Bon Jovi or the promoters etc. but the dumb drunks are totally responsible.


I did punish myself, I did RTFA. You're not missing anything for starters. However, he might have a future submitting headlines to fark.

I could...maybe...in a long shot...say that the venue did not provide adequate security. I guess its not even in a long shot. But how in the hell was BJ liable? Unless, of course, that the person who was pushed...was actually committing suicide from the upper mezzanine and then landing on the unfortunate guy. But I guess that would only hold water if the lawyer could prove that someone killed themselves as a result of BJ's music.

I guess if I was now a quadriplegic I would want to blame someone, and get my newly acquired medical bills reimbursed. Guess I cant blame the guy, but sometimes in life, you're in the wrong place at the wrong time, and shiat happens.

Bad writing. I mean really bad writing.

Watery stool and projectile vomiting. This is what I wish for you, Subby.

/off in search of a cure for the dreaded Earworm.
//*twitch*

Wow...nice.

WOW, so instead of suing the people who actually were responsible for breaking his neck, hes going to go after the people who were probably farthest from responsibility. Yea lawyers!

in case you haven't ever seen a personal injury lawsuit, they sue EVERYone right down to the guys who made/assembled/delivered/installed the chair the plaintiff was sitting in.

shame on the author of that article. I expect to read that ON Fark not in an article linked from it. I'll do my best to avoid that site.

the article would offend the guy if he could feel anything