not bad, subby.

/kinda liked the "tapped out" one earlier too. was wondering which would get the gl

I submitted a similar headline to this, except it was about Enron CEO Jeff Skilling: "Enron CEO Jeff Skilling loses appeal, cellmate disagrees enthusiastically."

Gee, who would have thought that "I know I said I was guilty, but I didn't understand what that meant" wasn't a good line of argument for an appeal?

PoopStain: Fark this asshole. Who goes to a goddamn public restroom to have sex like a farking circus animal? People like this are the reason I can't have a crap in peace.

LEAVE THE BATHROOMS ALONE!

This, like a million times.

I think gay people are groovy - but stop having raunchy buttsecks in public bathrooms and in park bushes. For farks sake, GET A ROOM. Or a trendy little village apartment right across the street from that darling french bistro. Just stop it already.

Sum Dum Gai: Gee, who would have thought that "I know I said I was guilty, but I didn't understand what that meant" wasn't a good line of argument for an appeal?

I'm a go with Who is Larry Craig? for 500 Alex.

He never should have been charged in the first place. He did nothing illegal.

That said, I don't feel even the least bit sorry for his idiotic ass.

Thanks for reminding me to AdBlock the t-shirt icon on this machine. Is that only showing when the submitter clicks a checkbox now, or what?

OnmyojiOmn: Thanks for reminding me to AdBlock the t-shirt icon on this machine. Is that only showing when the submitter clicks a checkbox now, or what?

You know, I had already adblocked the PITA images, but it never occurred to me that I could do the same to the shirt icon. Thanks!

OnmyojiOmn: Thanks for reminding me to AdBlock the t-shirt icon on this machine. Is that only showing when the submitter clicks a checkbox now, or what?

LOL!! I'm off to the closet to get me a new keyboard. I'm buying 'em by the gross now.

/Is it true you can just toss your keyboard in the dishwasher to clean them?

jugglesfire: OnmyojiOmn: Thanks for reminding me to AdBlock the t-shirt icon on this machine. Is that only showing when the submitter clicks a checkbox now, or what?

LOL!! I'm off to the closet to get me a new keyboard. I'm buying 'em by the gross now.

/Is it true you can just toss your keyboard in the dishwasher to clean them?

Absolutely. Send me 10 dollars and I'll send you a secret .pdf file on how to do this professionally for big corporations and make hundreds of dollars an hour.

Some people are scared of monsters under the bed. Not me, I am terrified of republicans in the closet.

Sire, the peasants are revolting!

I can't even imagine walking into a public restroom and seeing someone (Larry Craig) sticking a bone in another guy's pooper.
Not that there is anything wron....wait. Never mind.

Poopstain: Straight To Hell: He never should have been charged in the first place. He did nothing illegal.
Oddly enough, I agree with this. Whatever he was doing with his hand in a bathroom stall wasn't illegal unless he managed a reach around in the next stall.
Why are the farking police using "I could see him through the gap in the door" as a means for arrest?
Fark the police. Fark whatever law allows a police officer to watch me taking a shiat.
But still, Fark Craig for ruining my glory with a newspaper in a public bathroom. My stall is my kingdom, as long as I'm in it.

I agree with all this... but IIRC: He lingered outside the undercover officer's stall, peeked through the crack of the officer's stall door, took the stall next to the officer, did the mysterious "foot-tapping", then he slid his right foot into the undercover officer's stall until it was touching the officer's foot, then "swiped his left hand under the stall divider several times, with the palm of his hand facing upward." That's an awful lot more bathroom maneuvering then I've ever experienced.

At one point, during questioning, Craig handed his business card to the arresting officer, which identified him as a U.S. Senator, and said to him, "What do you think about that?", then blamed the whole thing on his "wide stance."

Craig deserves the death penalty; stall=kingdom!

/Imagine how low you have to be on the police totem pole to have to take the bathroom duty.
//Can't stand to sit within 2 stalls of any other person.
///I feel dirty for looking up the precise details. Can I cleanse myself in the dishwasher with my keyboard?

chucknasty: Some people are scared of monsters under the bed. Not me, I am terrified of republicans in the closet public bathroom.

/always constipated when in red states

Ksrma at work.

Errrr...

"Karma" at work.

*drinks more coffeee*

jugglesfire: Poopstain: Straight To Hell: He never should have been charged in the first place. He did nothing illegal.
Oddly enough, I agree with this. Whatever he was doing with his hand in a bathroom stall wasn't illegal unless he managed a reach around in the next stall.
Why are the farking police using "I could see him through the gap in the door" as a means for arrest?
Fark the police. Fark whatever law allows a police officer to watch me taking a shiat.
But still, Fark Craig for ruining my glory with a newspaper in a public bathroom. My stall is my kingdom, as long as I'm in it.

I agree with all this... but IIRC: He lingered outside the undercover officer's stall, peeked through the crack of the officer's stall door, took the stall next to the officer, did the mysterious "foot-tapping", then he slid his right foot into the undercover officer's stall until it was touching the officer's foot, then "swiped his left hand under the stall divider several times, with the palm of his hand facing upward." That's an awful lot more bathroom maneuvering then I've ever experienced.

At one point, during questioning, Craig handed his business card to the arresting officer, which identified him as a U.S. Senator, and said to him, "What do you think about that?", then blamed the whole thing on his "wide stance."

Craig deserves the death penalty; stall=kingdom!

/Imagine how low you have to be on the police totem pole to have to take the bathroom duty.
//Can't stand to sit within 2 stalls of any other person.
///I feel dirty for looking up the precise details. Can I cleanse myself in the dishwasher with my keyboard?

Couldn't the police officer just have declined the offer politely? I mean Larry did put a lot of effort into it.

Pretty funny line. I would've written: Larry Craig dropping appeals, pants in Provincetown

/Suppose that's why I'm still only 5 greens out of 40 submissions. Meh.

If Craig was...let's say, Dodd...do you think this thread would have so few posts? Would the rightwingers that dominate this forum think Dodd was innocent?

log_jammin:

Politics aside, your name is disturbing in the context of this thread.

Happily, this is not something which we in women's bathrooms have to worry about. A lot of other strange, disturbing things happen in the ladies' room, but depraved sex acts with Republican Senators of the same gender are not among them.

Ed Finnerty: Politics aside, your name is disturbing in the context of this thread.

let's just turn the page from that subject

TwistedFark: PoopStain: Fark this asshole. Who goes to a goddamn public restroom to have sex like a farking circus animal? People like this are the reason I can't have a crap in peace.

LEAVE THE BATHROOMS ALONE!

This, like a million times.

I think gay people are groovy - but stop having raunchy buttsecks in public bathrooms and in park bushes. For farks sake, GET A ROOM. Or a trendy little village apartment right across the street from that darling french bistro. Just stop it already.

Honest question: do you really encounter gays having buttsecks in public restrooms all that often? I mean, your post is so vociferous; it sounds like you are regularly inconvenienced by gay people having anonymous sex in public.

I agree that public sex is a bad thing, but it's not something I get personally worked up about because I never actually encounter it. I've never gone to the bathroom only to find a couple guys getting it on.

Seriously, why are you so worked up? Do you find gays farking in every other public bathroom you use? Is it really that much of a menace? Your adamant position just strikes me as very weird.

MrPerfectSU: TwistedFark: PoopStain: Fark this asshole. Who goes to a goddamn public restroom to have sex like a farking circus animal? People like this are the reason I can't have a crap in peace.

LEAVE THE BATHROOMS ALONE!

This, like a million times.

I think gay people are groovy - but stop having raunchy buttsecks in public bathrooms and in park bushes. For farks sake, GET A ROOM. Or a trendy little village apartment right across the street from that darling french bistro. Just stop it already.

Honest question: do you really encounter gays having buttsecks in public restrooms all that often? I mean, your post is so vociferous; it sounds like you are regularly inconvenienced by gay people having anonymous sex in public.

I agree that public sex is a bad thing, but it's not something I get personally worked up about because I never actually encounter it. I've never gone to the bathroom only to find a couple guys getting it on.

Seriously, why are you so worked up? Do you find gays farking in every other public bathroom you use? Is it really that much of a menace? Your adamant position just strikes me as very weird.

Dude, I lived in San Francisco for 6 years. I'm not "riled up" in so much as just plain exasperated.

MrPerfectSU: Seriously, why are you so worked up? Do you find gays farking in every other public bathroom you use? Is it really that much of a menace? Your adamant position just strikes me as very weird.

I find the fact that you read so much into a post on the internet very weird as well. Let's call us even.

Are you sure about that, Gyrfalcon ? Could be hot lesbian sex happening in the stall next to you, and you would never know.

I'm just sayin'.

And as a gay man, I agree, don't have sex in public bathrooms or in the bushes at the park. You have no excuses any more. It's not the only way you'll get laid because you live in a hostile world where coming out of the closet is no longer an option. It's just nasty. Hot, maybe (not one for anonymous sex, myself), but nasty. Straight people don't do it (well, the opportunities in the public bathrooms would be limited) and we should not do it either. Fair is fair, folks.

That goes double if you have a bath house in your area.

As for all those suddenly uncloseted gay Republicans, I, of course, find it all HILARIOUS. Turns out, the GOP is a Gay Old Party. It's like a little Peyton Place, where everyone pretend to be super normal, and thinks everyone is normal but them, with their weird little peccadillos, but in reality, they're all just sweaty pervs like the rest of us.

What do these guys tell themselves? "Oh, homosexuality is a horrible sin and against Nature and God's Will and the Bible, and if it wasn't for the mindblowingly intense orgasms, why I'd stop right away.... "

Straight To Hell: He never should have been charged in the first place. He did nothing illegal.

That said, I don't feel even the least bit sorry for his idiotic ass.

Although I am reluctant to agree with this, I have to say if consenting adults want to screw in an airport bathroom that is fine, just go into a stall and be quiet.

The other side of this is that it is a public place and kids don't need to have to ask daddy why there are four shoes in that stall and there is all that bumping and grunting.

And then there is the huge humor in the fact that it is a gay bashing republican looking for unsafe anonymous buttsecks.

Oh and Orange Crush was born on a porch by a Mary Kay saleslady. He was reportedly steamed.

He still has his wide stance. They can never take that away from him

TwistedFark: PoopStain: Fark this asshole. Who goes to a goddamn public restroom to have sex like a farking circus animal? People like this are the reason I can't have a crap in peace.

LEAVE THE BATHROOMS ALONE!

This, like a million times.

I think gay people are groovy - but stop having raunchy buttsecks in public bathrooms and in park bushes. For farks sake, GET A ROOM. Or a trendy little village apartment right across the street from that darling french bistro. Just stop it already.

Lots of bitterness there - been turned down often I take it? In Craigs mind he isn't gay and he will never admit that he is gay. Males having sex in parks or bathrooms is a generational thing. You don't see us younger folks there as we didn't grow up with the stigma of being gay (i.e. it being illegal, being fired for being it, being beaten up, etc). The bottom line (see what I did there, did ya?) is that Craig needs help but he will never seek it.

Honest question: do you really encounter gays having buttsecks in public restrooms all that often? I mean, your post is so vociferous; it sounds like you are regularly inconvenienced by gay people having anonymous sex in public.

I agree that public sex is a bad thing, but it's not something I get personally worked up about because I never actually encounter it. I've never gone to the bathroom only to find a couple guys getting it on.

Seriously, why are you so worked up? Do you find gays farking in every other public bathroom you use? Is it really that much of a menace? Your adamant position just strikes me as very weird.

The park I go to to walk my dogs has a small (4-car) parking lot. If the weather's nice (and sometimes if it's not) the lot is full of older closeted gay men who sit with their engines running and throw butts on the ground waiting for fresh meat. I have to park across a busy street and worrying about getting my dogs back and forth without getting hit.

They could park across the street - there's more room, and I don't think any of their penises need a leash (but I could be wrong.)

So yeah, gay men are a pain in my ass.

Hey, he's still the best Bond since Connery!!!

fatbear:
So yeah, gay men are a pain in my ass.

You're clearly doing it wrong.

Larry Craig would have had more success firing the lawyer who told him to enter a guilty plea.
Or sucking him off.

As the submitter for "Larry Craig taps out", I would just like to say that I feel I was robbed.

I had a guy try to pick me up in the restroom of a park once. He was outside waiting in his pickup truck. He saw me go into the restroom and followed a few minutes after. Luckily I only had to urnitate and was done by the time he came in. He tried to talk to me to I guess feel me out or something. I just ignored him and got the hell out of there after I washed my hands. He ended up just hanging around in there for at least a few minutes. He didn't look gay, more like someone you expect to see chase black people in the woods with a shotgun and a hound dog.

I don't know I saw him in the latest Bond movie and thought he had a sexy body.

My headline (better) "Larry Craig Taps Out".

I don't know about Craig, but the cop who arrested him was woofy as all get out. I'd hit it like a 747...


hotlinked for his pleasure...

/loves me a man in uniform

Submitted days ago with funnier headline.

Thanks for doing such a good job, mods.

Gyrfalcon: Happily, this is not something which we in women's bathrooms have to worry about. A lot of other strange, disturbing things happen in the ladies' room, but depraved sex acts with Republican Senators of the same gender are not among them.

Thanks for ruining all our secret fantasies.

I have always been a fan of this-

a committee to re-elect Senator Larry Craig (new window)---