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(Some Guy) Silly Coming soon to a mall near you: Teeth-whitening kiosks. "Are they sure they are working in a disease-free mouth?''   (brisbanetimes.com.au) divider line 67
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3667 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Jan 2009 at 8:30 PM   |  Make this a Fark FavoriteFavorite    |   share: Share on OMGTWITTER WEB2.0share on StumbleUponshare on Facebook  more»   |    Get this fabulous T-Shirt and impress the methane out of your friends! shirt it!

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mjoven1975 [TotalFark] 2009-01-03 06:40:16 PM  
Coming soon? They are in practically every mall in my neck of the woods and have been for a few years.

 
GaryPDX [TotalFark] 2009-01-03 06:54:04 PM  
here to..have been for a while. The old people, mall walkers, are always stopping off there.

 
daychilde [TotalFark] 2009-01-03 08:13:41 PM  
'There is a fine line between dentistry and putting on lipstick,' he said.


....m-kay

/yes, I get the point. Funny anyway

 
xtex 2009-01-03 08:22:57 PM  
Ugh. These people even show up at all of Atlanta's outdoor festivals... they set up a bunch of chairs underneath a big tent and run a generator for their scary UV laser looking things... it's surreal late at night.. you just see glowing mouthes...

 
derrith 2009-01-03 08:33:46 PM  
Richard Hammonds should be pleased.

 
Tavernknight 2009-01-03 08:35:24 PM  
I saw one of those just set up at sams today. They didn't look very busy. Maybe they should do like a sample thing and whiten one of your teeth. If you are dumb enough to fall for that then you either have to pay to get your whole mouth done or go around with one tooth all shiny and the rest funkified.

 
theorellior 2009-01-03 08:36:32 PM  
Why do people feel it necessary to have chalk-white teeth now? I've never understood the attraction. But, then again, I don't understand the Vietnamese custom of tooth-blackening, either.

 
puppypants 2009-01-03 08:37:22 PM  
There's one at Northtown.

Never have seen a person actually there though.

 
McKeesport Beer Baron 2009-01-03 08:37:46 PM  
They still have malls?

 
Frank Anthrax 2009-01-03 08:38:47 PM  
People in malls have teeth?

 
Riche [TotalFark] 2009-01-03 08:39:20 PM  
i30.tinypic.com


is it safe?

 
Miss Stein 2009-01-03 08:40:25 PM  
farm2.static.flickr.com


/what?

 
Mugato [TotalFark] 2009-01-03 08:41:04 PM  
I captured this "The Black Hole" moment months ago.


i23.photobucket.com

 
Diseage 2009-01-03 08:42:13 PM  
I saw a guy getting one done at Lynnhaven mall the other day. If you are at a mall getting your teeth whitened, you deserve to be stared and laughed at by the people on the escalator.

 
Byno 2009-01-03 08:45:48 PM  
I told my girlfriend in high school that the bleach taste from my ejaculate helped make her teeth whiter, so I'm getting a huge kick...

 
simpsonfan 2009-01-03 08:46:26 PM  
Have a chariot race to decide if she can operate her business.

 
TheGreatGazoo 2009-01-03 08:47:19 PM  
I don't see the point of the teeth whitening fad. But then I have tetracycline stains on my teeth which whitening supposedly would make worse.

 
Juniper Jupiter [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-01-03 08:50:52 PM  
TheGreatGazoo: I don't see the point of the teeth whitening fad. But then I have tetracycline stains on my teeth which whitening supposedly would make worse.

Aren't those birth control pills?

 
drakkon 2009-01-03 08:52:29 PM  
Hopefully the hawkers will not be as annoying as those dead sea hand scrub people I see at every mall i go to nowadays. While the prospect of a girl asking if she can wash my hands is nice, I'm frankly never going to spend $20 on a tub of hand "scrub" that works as well as a $1 bottle of orange clean.

 
Melisande 2009-01-03 08:59:56 PM  
Juniper Jupiter: TheGreatGazoo: I don't see the point of the teeth whitening fad. But then I have tetracycline stains on my teeth which whitening supposedly would make worse.

Aren't those birth control pills?



tetracycline = antibiotic
Tri-Cyclen = birth control pill

 
michaeld5 2009-01-03 09:02:39 PM  
Same people who get their ears pierced in a kiosk in the middle of the mall.

 
the_good_senator 2009-01-03 09:02:42 PM  
Juniper Jupiter: TheGreatGazoo: I don't see the point of the teeth whitening fad. But then I have tetracycline stains on my teeth which whitening supposedly would make worse.

Aren't those birth control pills?


No, tetracycline is an antibiotic.

 
CitizenTed [TotalFark] 2009-01-03 09:04:55 PM  
Byno: I told my girlfriend in high school that the bleach taste from my ejaculate helped make her teeth whiter, so I'm getting a huge kick...

Dewd: stop drinking tap water. Too much chlorine. Drink filtered water and your spooge won't be so toxic-tasting. I had a GF who refused to offer me oral services unless I fixed the bleach taste. It worked, and we went on to enjoy many memorable oral escapades.

/Until she went all neurotic bat-shiat crazy and I booted her out of the house.
//Back to tap water.

 
the_good_senator 2009-01-03 09:05:25 PM  
Melisande: tetracycline = antibiotic
Tri-Cyclen = birth control pill


Beat me because I've been drinking and got side-tracked reading about tetracycline and the active ingredients in birth control pills. Friends don't let friends drink and Google/Wikipedia, but they encourage drinking and Farking.

 
puppypants 2009-01-03 09:07:35 PM  
I hate those perfume people who try to spray me with their designer impostor crap.

 
Sp1kez 2009-01-03 09:07:57 PM  
/work in a mall kiosk....not getting a kick :(

my kiosk is actually directly above the "SmileBrite" booth......people actually pay $90 for that shiat



/brother in law runs one of those too

 
Byno 2009-01-03 09:10:00 PM  
TheGreatGazoo: I don't see the point of the teeth whitening fad. But then I have tetracycline stains on my teeth which whitening supposedly would make worse.

So do you have acne or an STD?

I keed, I keed

/hospital drone

 
Juniper Jupiter [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-01-03 09:12:40 PM  
Melisande: tetracycline = antibiotic
Tri-Cyclen = birth control pill


the_good_senator: No, tetracycline is an antibiotic.

Ah...Whoopsy! :P

They do sound alike, no?

/I was about to ask TheGreatGazoo if he...uh never mind...
//These drug companies REALLY need to research a little better for their pill names...

 
Gyrfalcon [TotalFark] 2009-01-03 09:13:39 PM  
Coming next: Boob-enlargement/penis lengthening kiosks.

 
rjShadow [TotalFark] 2009-01-03 09:17:10 PM  
I just pay for the Crest ones. Work good and my teeth don't get that chalk thing going on.

 
theorellior 2009-01-03 09:17:34 PM  
Juniper Jupiter: //These drug companies REALLY need to research a little better for their pill names...

I think they're running out of names. Soon, much like many makes of car, new drugs will be referred to by strings of letters and numbers. "Ask your doctor if 232-GXI is right for you!"

 
onebadgungan 2009-01-03 09:18:10 PM  
daychilde: 'There is a fine line between dentistry and putting on lipstick,' he said.



A pitbull?

 
True Value 2009-01-03 09:18:54 PM  
www.variety.com

Approves

/link is hotter than Zeta-Jones

 
Swede 2009-01-03 09:23:32 PM  
I read that as "tit-widening kiosks".

Which, I submit to you gentle reader, is a much better idea.

 
jsleidell 2009-01-03 09:24:16 PM  
"You think your mother and sister are dead. They are not dead. Well... your sister anyway. Look for her in the Valley of the WestFields Mall, if you can still recognize her. Heh heh heh. Urghhhhh."

 
orclover 2009-01-03 09:27:35 PM  
We have had them in Austins Highland Mall for a while now, HEEEEELARIOUS to watch. Right next to the Chinese (Korean) Massage therapist doing thier schtick.

 
SweetDickens 2009-01-03 09:29:21 PM  
Byno: I told my girlfriend in high school that the bleach taste from my ejaculate helped make her teeth whiter, so I'm getting a huge kick...


Dang...I thought that read lick at the end.

 
Mandapants 2009-01-03 09:33:57 PM  
simpsonfan: Have a chariot race to decide if she can operate her business.

I larfed.

/it's a pseudonym!

 
CornFedIowan 2009-01-03 09:38:05 PM  
Gyrfalcon: Coming next: Boob-enlargement/penis lengthening kiosks.

Simultaneously?

 
shadow9 2009-01-03 09:42:39 PM  
already got em at the mall near me... conveniently located next to mrs fields cookies.


the BIG new thing is the eyebrow plucking kiosks. youve been warned!

(first time i saw it there was some guido getting HIS eyebrows done... i couldnt stop laughing!!!!)

 
lstywnch 2009-01-03 09:44:11 PM  
TheGreatGazoo: I don't see the point of the teeth whitening fad. But then I have tetracycline stains on my teeth which whitening supposedly would make worse.

It does make them worse. They stand out more than they did before.

/wish I'd known that before the tooth bleaching incident

 
mialynneb [recently expired TotalFark] 2009-01-03 09:48:35 PM  
There's on at Circle Center in Indy. It's right by the food court. Freaking weird. I never see anyone getting it done though. I also hate the creepy people that want you to try their lotion crap.

/puts it in the basket

 
theorellior 2009-01-03 09:51:28 PM  
fish500: Meth mouth thread!!

It won't be me, but someone's gonna smite you with a +5 banhammer for that one.

 
Bleck 2009-01-03 09:55:40 PM  
This is what they really need in malls:
img.photobucket.com

 
theMagni 2009-01-03 09:57:11 PM  
theorellior: Why do people feel it necessary to have chalk-white teeth now? I've never understood the attraction. But, then again, I don't understand the Vietnamese custom of tooth-blackening, either.

I think the idea is that whiter teeth make you look younger, and it's something that you can't put makeup on.

I don't understand it myself. I want as much enamel on my teeth as possible, damn the colour.

 
Miss Stein 2009-01-03 10:02:05 PM  
theorellior: fish500: Meth mouth thread!!

It won't be me, but someone's gonna smite you with a +5 banhammer for that one.


Oh I will! C'mere you
farm4.static.flickr.com

/nearly threw up my dinner

 
Gyrfalcon [TotalFark] 2009-01-03 10:03:07 PM  
CornFedIowan: Gyrfalcon: Coming next: Boob-enlargement/penis lengthening kiosks.

Simultaneously?


Why not?

 
louiedog 2009-01-03 10:06:46 PM  
shadow9: already got em at the mall near me... conveniently located next to mrs fields cookies.


the BIG new thing is the eyebrow plucking kiosks. youve been warned!

(first time i saw it there was some guido getting HIS eyebrows done... i couldnt stop laughing!!!!)


People, do not get your eyebrows done by someone who was fired from the Rosetta Stone kiosk. If you must get them done, find a professional based on recommendation from someone with nice looking eyebrows.

 
lstywnch 2009-01-03 10:17:38 PM  
louiedog: People, do not get your eyebrows done by someone who was fired from the Rosetta Stone kiosk. If you must get them done, find a professional based on recommendation from someone with nice looking eyebrows.

Wow. In this state in order to wax eyebrows for money you have to be licensed esthetician. I think licensed stylists also can, but the point being, you need a license to wax eyebrows.

 
Bohemian 2009-01-03 10:19:06 PM  
They had one of these at the local Sam's club. There were a couple of the resident trophy wives getting their teeth done. That crap doesn't look safe at all. It is about as bad as the laser treatment center that have been popping up in strip malls. People with zero medical training should not be coming at your face with a laser.

 
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