sir, how much have you had to drink, you smell like a darn still

So then officer, Dr Smith took young Will behind the Jupiter 2. The next thing I heard was Dr Smith saying "You're turning into a fine, strapping young man William." Then a loud metal thunk and Dr Smith screaming "Oh, the pain, the pain!"

[metallic robot sounding voice] fark you pig!

"You don't understand, officer. This girl gave me the best lube job of my life"

Please let me go, I was merely an ionic directional probe searching for receiving outlets.

[metallic robot sounding voice] Shouldn't you be hosting The Price Is Right? [metallic robot sounding voice]

"I am not the droid you are looking for..."

"I'll bid $1000 on this car, Drew."

"My intergalactic driving license has expired? That does not compute! Oh, the pain, the pain..."

[metallic robot sounding voice] Nobody was driving, I swear. We were all in the back seat singing.

and...blarg. twobux beat me to it and apparently I'm blind to boot. no votey for my post above please.

/new to TF, this is how it works, right?

"Sir...Did you just tell me to bite your shiny metal ass?!"

"I am in the back seat?

Thank the Maker! I thought someone stole my steering wheel."

Before making it in show business, immigration officer Larry "Bud" Melman [new window]
checks an alien's green card

I hate my license picture. It makes my transistors look fat.

You know that kid from Barnes and Barnes? Could you get me his autograph?

Hm, says here this car's registered to a Dr. Zachary Smith, registered sex offender.

My uncle is a cop. He's an X-ray machine at LAX.

I know I was speeding, but Charles Barkley was telling me that he knows this chick who can suck the chrome off a ball-hitch and I said to myself, "Holy shiat, I gotta find out about this."

Um, buzz click. Please don't arrest me, Roger Ramjet. Um buzz click.

Sorry officer, but I am used to traveling at light speed. So when I get back to earth, it is hard for me to adjust from light speed to 25 mph.

Are you an organic life form? You look like an organic life form. Organic life forms have been responsible for every major war in history.

Chief, I missed that yellow by that much!

HaywoodJablonski: "You don't understand, officer. This girl gave me the best lube job of my life"

Damn it! I should have read the rest of the posts before making the Barkely joke. Well played.

Police Officer: "So you say there's a gunman on that grassy knoll over there?"

Robot: "Danger! Danger!"

Police Officer: "Jackass robots. Think they know everything."

"I'm sorry sir, I didn't know I couldn't do that."

I s t h e r e a p r o b l e m o f f i c e r ? ^M ^J

I had to be at Comic Con 26 minutes ago flatfoot!

WTF? Fark decodes binary? I didn't know that.

Let's try again:

"I s t h e r e a p r o b l e m o f f i c e r ? ^M ^J"

Is this going to be on Cops?

I'm famous I tell ya. Look here's me filming The Wizard of Oz, and here I am on the set of The Day the Earth stood still and this is Me and CP3O.

F a r k o f f , p i g .

OK, Mr Nikto, how was that first name spelled again? K L A ... two As? OK, outa the car please

The English Major: F a r k o f f , p i g .

Lemme guess: Binary?

They stuck a bag of Sand in my brain! And now they've sent Lyndon Johnson to finish me off!

Domo Arigato Mr. Roboto . Please sign here.

"Are you the dude from Sidehackers? Can you sign this out to my daughter Christine?"

There's an old android saying which I feel is particularly relevant to this situation. It goes: '*11KO*1-10*' which, roughly translated, means 'Don't stand around jabbering when your life is in dang...hey, wait for me, you guys!

"Yes, I am an alien...here's my green card..."

*Logic error*
How can one receive a ticket for excessive velocity when one is in the back seat and not capable of vehicular operation?

well twist my nipple-nuts and send me to Alaska

robot:
"Do you like Phil Collins? I've been a big Genesis fan ever since the release of their 1980 album, Duke. Before that, I really didn't understand any of their work. Too artsy, too intellectual. It was on Duke where Phil Collins' presence became more apparent. I think Invisible Touch was the group's undisputed masterpiece. It's an epic meditation on intangibility. At the same time, it deepens and enriches the meaning of the preceding three albums. Christy, take off your robe. Listen to the brilliant ensemble playing of Banks, Collins and Rutherford. You can practically hear every nuance of every instrument. Sabrina, remove your dress. In terms of lyrical craftsmanship, the sheer songwriting, this album hits a new peak of professionalism. Sabrina, why don't you, uh, dance a little. Take the lyrics to Land of Confusion. In this song, Phil Collins addresses the problems of abusive political authority. In Too Deep is the most moving pop song of the 1980s, about monogamy and commitment. The song is extremely uplifting. Their lyrics are as positive and affirmative as anything I've heard in rock. Christy, get down on your knees so Sabrina can see your asshole. Phil Collins' solo career seems to be more commercial and therefore more satisfying, in a narrower way. Especially songs like In the Air Tonight and Against All Odds. Sabrina, don't just stare at it, eat it. But I also think Phil Collins works best within the confines of the group, than as a solo artist, and I stress the word artist. This is Sussudio, a great, great song, a personal favorite."

/ wait... what?

You got the wrong robot, cop. It is not my fault that you think we all look alike.

Here I am, a brain the size of a planet, and some flatfoot wants to question my driving.

Sorry officer, I was just Turing around town.

They gotta start making these GPS devices smaller.

Robot: I am not the driver, I am the backseat autopilot

In the 1950s deep south, profiling was commonplace. Here, as example, we see an officer who stopped a vehicle for DWR, or "Driving while Robotic."

TheCharmerUnderMe: "I am not the droid you are looking for..."

Immediately what i thought. Good call.